Fire and the Flood

Disclaimer: Sadly I own neither Saving Hope nor Daniel Gillies.

Pairing: Joel & Alex

Rating: T

Summary: Alex & Joel receive surprising news.

Author's Note: The title of this piece as well as the lyrics used belong to the incredibly talented Vance Joy.

"You're the fire and the flood

And I'll always feel you in my blood

Everything is fine

When your hand is resting next to mine."

-Vance Joy, "Fire and the Flood"

Joel Goran was asleep next to his wife after an exhausting day at the hospital. But he awoke when he felt something warm and sticky between the sheets.

His first thought was that their four year old daughter Charlotte had crawled into their bed and wet it.

He reached over and shook Alex's shoulder, "Reid, did you put Charlotte in bed with us again?" He mumbled, sleepily.

"What?" Alex whispered, drowsily, "No, she's in her room."

Joel nodded, pressing a kiss against his wife's shoulder as he reached for the bedside lamp in the darkness.

He pulled down the covers with his free hand and that's when he saw the dark red stain.

Blood.

The legs of Alex's sweatpants were spattered with red.

Alex frowned her eyes still closed as she felt the cold late night air against her skin.

"Joel? What's wrong? Put the covers back on. It's cold."

"Wake up, Alex." He whispered, urgently. "You're bleeding."

At this, Alex opened her eyes instantly alert.

She sat up slowly and grabbed his hand, "What?"

"Love, you're bleeding." He repeated, trying to keep his voice as calm as possible.

Alex looked down at the bloodstained sheets in disbelief.

She wasn't having her period.

That kind of vaginal bleeding could only mean one thing.

A miscarriage.

She was having a miscarriage.

But she hadn't even known that she was pregnant.

Alex closed her eyes and thought back to the last time that she and Joel had made love.

New Year's Eve.

Just a few weeks ago.

"But that would mean…"

Alex didn't realize that she'd spoken aloud until she felt her husband's hand on her arm, "We have to get you to the hospital right now, Reid."

He was speaking in the same voice that he used in the O.R.

"Joel, baby, I didn't even know I was…"

Her voice trailed off as tears ran slowly down her cheeks.

She looked at Joel and saw that he was nodding, "I know, Alex. It's okay. But we have to go. You get Theo. I'll get Luke and Charlotte and meet you downstairs all right?"

She took his hand and squeezed it for another long moment before she got out of bed and moved toward the nursery.

Fifteen minutes later all three of their sleeping children were loaded into the car and Joel was behind the wheel with Alex in the passenger seat next to him.

"How're you feeling, love?" He asked, reaching out to take her hand, as he gripped the steering wheel with the other. "Are you in pain?"

Alex leaned back against the seat and shook her head, "I'm just a little lightheaded."

Probably from the blood loss.

Joel nodded, "You lost a lot of blood. And it looks like you're still bleeding."

She looked down at the seat beneath her which was indeed stained with blood.

Holy hell.

She met Joel's eyes, and tried to steady her breathing as she felt herself beginning to panic.

"Just hang in there for me Reid."

Alex nodded and turned on the radio at low volume with her free hand, trying to force will it not to shake.

A familiar song was playing and on any other day she would've sung along.

"I've been getting used to waking up with you,

I've been getting used to waking up here,

Anywhere I go there you are

Anywhere I go there you are."

But now as she listened to the lyrics, it took everything she had not to cry.

"There you are,

There you are."

Alex lost herself in the melancholic melody as Joel pulled into the parking lot of Hope Zion.

"Are you ready?" Joel asked as he put the car in park and took the keys from the ignition.

Alex nodded and unbuckled her seatbelt taking a deep breath. "We'll have to see if Zack or Malanda can look after the kids."

"Don't worry about that. The kids are fine. I'm a little more concerned about you right now." Joel said, as he opened the back passenger door and lifted his sleeping son into his arms.

"Joel, baby, I'm fine really." She said, as she lifted Charlotte over her shoulder and grabbed Theo's baby seat by the handle before she managed to close the door. "I'm just…"

Her voice trailed off as a wave of dizziness washed over her and suddenly Joel was right beside her, his hand on the small of her back supporting her weight.

"I've got you, love." His voice was suddenly in her ear and somehow she found the strength to walk through the doors of the hospital of her own volition.

"You were saying, Reid?" Joel asked, flashing her one of his trademark grins as they entered the chaos that was the E.R. and coming face to face with Zack.

"Hey, mate. I need you to page Maggie for me." Joel said, leading Alex to a wheelchair, "She's having a miscarriage and she's already lost a lot of blood."

Zack nodded, "I'll hang two units O-neg while you wait. You guys need somebody to keep an eye on the kids?"

"That would be great." Joel replied, his eyes never leaving Alex, even as Maggie entered the E.R.

"Hey you two. I got your page. What's up?"

"I'm bleeding and the cramps just started. Maggie, I didn't even know I was pregnant…"

"Alex you know that can happen." Maggie said taking Alex's hand.

"I know that Maggie…" Alex said gritting her teeth against another cramp.

"Okay, let's get you to imaging to make sure all the fetal tissue has been expelled. And then we'll get you something to help slow the bleeding and ease your pain."

Maggie said, getting behind the chair and pushing it toward the elevator, even with Theo's baby seat still in her lap.

"Joel, come with me, please? Alex whispered reaching for his hand.

"You got it, Reid." Joel replied softly watching as Malanda came out of nowhere, and said, "I'll set these guys up in a call room so we won't have to wake them."

"Not 5 East." Alex shouted to Malanda.

It took only a few seconds for Joel to remember what the 5 East call room meant to Alex.

It was the call room where she'd been stabbed.

"Alex, it's okay." He whispered, laying a comforting hand on her arm, "Hey, Alex, listen to me. The kids are going to be fine. And so are you."

He pressed a kiss against her forehead and she whispered, "I love you," just before she and Maggie disappeared into imaging.

A few hours later, Alex had been admitted and was given a blood transfusion and I.V. fluids.

She and all three of their children were fast asleep.

Joel sat in the chair fighting his own exhaustion and thinking about the incredible night he and Alex had shared together just a few weeks ago on New Year's Eve.

It had been a night filled with fire and passion.

It had resulted in a child.

Almost.

Alex knew she was dreaming but she surrendered to it. She was lying in bed at home with Joel by her side, basking in the bliss that only comes after you've spent the night with someone you love.

A radio played somewhere in the distance as Joel ran his hands over her skin.

"You're the fire and the flood,

And I'll always feel you in my blood,

Everything is fine,

When your hand is resting next to me.

Next to mine."

"That was incredible," Alex whispered her head resting on his chest, listening to steady beat of his heart.

"Yes ma'am it was," Joel replied, kissing her forehead.

"I love you, Joel." She said softly.

But he didn't answer and she looked around the bedroom to find that she was alone.

She could hear the faint cries of an infant even as she called out to her husband.

"Joel…Joel…Joel…"

"Joel…?"

The moment he heard her calling his name he was on his feet.

"I'm right here, Alex. It's okay. You're okay." He said softly, laying his hand on her wrist.

When she heard his voice she opened her eyes, the dreamscape fading replaced by reality.

"Joel?

"Hey, Reid. You were dreaming."

Alex nodded, "I know. Are the kids okay?" She asked, struggling against her lines and trying to sit up until Joel's gentle yet firm grip held her fast against the pillows

"Alex…The kids are fine…They're right here sleeping… No…Alex…Hey…Alex…You need to rest…"

"It happened on New Year's Eve didn't it?"

Fire.

Joel nodded, "Maggie said less than three weeks so yeah probably." He answered tucking a wayward strand of her dark hair behind her ear.

"How could I not know, Joel? I always knew. I should have known."

"It was early days love. Most miscarriages happen in the first twelve weeks. You know that. And you know that it's possible for it to happen without knowing you're pregnant. You couldn't have known."

With Luke, and Charlotte, and Theo. Even with Daniel…"

Daniel.

The son they'd lost.

"Hey…" Joel said, interrupting both her words and her spiraling thoughts, "This is not your fault. Do you hear me, Alex Reid?"

She nodded, and whispered, "Joel, baby I love you."

"I love you, too, Alex." He replied, as he climbed into the hospital bed and held her while she cried herself to sleep.

Flood.