Ding-dong!

A greasy-haired college kid walked slowly over to the door, can of Poop soda in hand.

Ding-dong!

His eyes were bloodshot from staring at monitors all night. He couldn't stand to sleep one minute when something absolutely terrifying was happening just down the street...

Ding-dong!

Even now, he was hesitant to even bother with whatever idiot he was trying to save that was standing mindlessly on his porch.

Ding-dong!

Ding-dong!

-

The weary man-child had just opened the door when he was abruptly punched in the face and shoved aside. " Get out of the way, idiot!"

"Hey Gaz!" The girl at the door was about twenty years old, with deeply tanned skin and wild black hair. "Wazzup?"

" You. Me. Room. NOW!" Gaz pulled on the girl's spiked collar and dragged her into a dark corner of the house. She turned to glare at Dib, who was rubbing his rapidly-swelling cheek. " Gaz, that hurt!"

Her voice seethed with malice as she hissed, " I am going to stomp my friend's ass to the ground in Vampire Piggies 4, and if you dare disturb our zone, your soul will be put through a cheese-grater for eternity..."

The girl who was in Gaz's grip absent-mindedly smiled and waved as she was drawn into the fiery depths of hell.

" That was strange," Dib muttered to himself...Gaz, with a friend?

From down the hall, he could hear Gaz yell, " Shut up, Dib! Your inner thoughts are stupid!"

Dib felt a chill go down his spine at the idea that Gaz had telepathy; he shrugged it off and scurried to his monitors, grateful that he no longer had to deal with the distraction that girl had been to his studies. He shook his head as he closed the door to his room, sealing himself into a world of whirring, bells, and artificial light. He eased himself into his padded chair and scrutinized the image of the little alien on the screen, sleeping. Damn that Zim and his sleeping!

It's sure to be a part of his evil plan, he mused as he resumed the consumption of a half-eaten Poop bar. The sawdust made his throat itch, and he tried to alleviate it with a small cough, but the bar went down the wrong way and he presumably began choking. As he writhed in convulsions of suffucation, the image of the little alien tossed with him in fitful sleep.

Dib fell to the floor in hacking fits, and desperately reached for one of the many Poop cans laying around in his Dib-cave. As soon as his hand found one, he mashed it into his face and gulped, to no avail. Empty. Meanwhile, the little green alien's breaths added a sharp and unsettling ambiance to the scene, and their producer's slight turns became a writhing that intensified, yet went unnoticed by the choking Dib.

Dib began to feel woozy, and imagined he heard a dull moan which was rising into Zim's eery screams of pain. He had to see what was happening, but the choking most definitely had to be fixed first. He grabbed a Poop can that had been under his bed. He shuddered to think what it would taste like after three years down there, but pressed it to his lips and chugged it, hoping to unclog his airways before the nauseating flavor hit him like a bludgeonball to the face.

The soda was flat and tasted like, well, poop, but that was nothing a quick ralphing into the trashcan wouldn't fix. Dib wiped off the corners of his mouth and settled back into his chair. The sudden realization that Zim was screaming in pain brought him back into focus, and he was transfixed by the monitor's ghastly image.

" No...no way! This is absolutely amazing! I have to record this and send it to Mysterious Mysteries!"

From down the hall, Gaz screamed, " Turn down your stupid snuff films or you'll star in the next one!"

June used the distraction to button-mash attack Gaz's slayer, depleting the last of her HP. Gaz cried out in frustration as a cheshire smile spread across her friend's face.

" No! NO! How did you-"

" Dumb luck," the girl said, as her shit-eating grin spread wider on her dumb face. " Can I go to the bathroom now?"

Gaz grumbled, " Fine."

June was out the front door in seconds. Gaz called after her, " You're going the wrong way, idiot!"

" See you tomorrow," June yelled back as she ran. Shit, she wouldn't let me go! Master won't be happy about this... After she had run about five blocks, she turned down a street full of houses, and a sign! And by the sign on the corner of the street, her little master was waiting for her, the sum of all absolute terror and madness. Heck, Madness was its name...