Hello readers! This is my AU of Gravity Falls! So I'll be quick to point out a few things in this story.

One: Ford never went into the portal, though he's a bit reclusive from a lot of people and mostly spends his time at home doing science work and all that slick. Any who, the people of Gravity Falls know about, with little knowledge about him that they know, Ford. Ford knows everyone in town but doesn't interact with anyone much.

Two: It kills me, it really does, but in this AU, Dipper and Mable are orphans.

Three: There is still a Mystery Shack!

Four: For a long time now, there's something, or someone, that is super persistent which Ford greatly dislikes.

And finally, five: This is all set a week before the beginning of summer.

Alright! So, not everything will be perfect and I may or may not mess up the charterers by mistake and will probably need pointers and some tips to improve it better in the nearby chapters. I do not own anyone except my own charterers and monsters. So! Without further ado! On to the story!


Stanford Pines was a brilliant man, a high intellectual person with 12 PhD's and an incredible inventor. Yes, he was a genius, one to be remembered and looked upon with high regards from respectable scientists and wide eyed awe of young children. Ford knew that he was capable of many things, even building things that were beyond human comprehension. His mind was the best, infallible, simply one of a kind with no comparison to anyone and high above the rest. There was nothing in this world that could bring him down, nothing.

Nothing… except maybe the phone call he received that morning on July 20th.

It was past 8:39 am that the phone on the counter in his kitchen buzzed. Ford, at first, ignored it, finding it unimportant at the moment and focused more on the newspaper with his third cup of coffee today, humming idly as he sat at the table with his back on the phone. His attention however was half drawn to the message that went to voicemail.

*Click* Greetings! This is Stanford Pines. I'm currently unavailable right at the moment and will probably not be able to get to you right away, so please leave a message after the tone. *Beeeep* "Mister Pines? This is Anna Rightwiller from the Piedmont California hospital." A brow went up on his face. Why would someone from another country be calling him?"I'm calling to discuss the… position, that your niece and nephew are in. A serious position…"

Both brows went up high on his face, turning his head away from the paper and slowly placing the mug of coffee down. His niece and nephew? He had a niece and a nephew? The brows went back down as it suddenly occurred to him that they were in a hospital."I've done some file work for any relatives that live close by and found your name. This may not be the best to explain that they've been omitted to the serious health condition that they're in to you, but considering that you're the closest relative to contact since their parents are… no longer available-"

The paper and coffee were forgotten instantly and Ford was soon by the phone, picking up the receiver with fumbling hands, (darn these six fingers!), before finally grasping it firmly and held it close to his ear. "H-Hello? This is Stanford Pines speaking." Ford vaguely noted that his voice was shaking, but he didn't care at the moment. He was more concerned to what he had just heard moments ago. "C-can you repeat that?"

"Certainly." The lady, Anna, said with a sad tone to her voice. "Last night, your niece and nephew, Mabel and Dipper Pines, were in a car accident with their parents." There was a silent pause then, one that was heavy and uncomfortable. Ford could only suspect what had happened. "… They were lucky. They were… so so lucky to… to have… survived with some cuts, a-and some scrapes and a… p-possible scar but..."

"… But not… their parents." God, he felt terrible. Sure he didn't know them, or heck, even knew he had a niece and a nephew, but no one, no one had to go through what they had to.

"I'm… I'm afraid so… listen, I… I wouldn't have called you if it wasn't important."

Ford nodded, forgetting slightly that the other person couldn't see him and quickly corrected himself. "Y-yes I suppose not. Calling nearby relatives is an important task to tell them about… passing of other relatives. But then again I'm not really sure if I'm the closest relat-"

"It's not that!" Ford stopped short from the sudden outburst from the other end, taking note of how Anna was taking deep breaths. "… Look, I… this is… h-hard for me… for them." Ford stayed quiet, leaning on the counter with one hand."What th-they've gone through… God. I'm n-not even suppose to be talking to you right now."

"What?" Ford blinked, unsure if he had heard that correctly. "What do you mean by that?"

"Everything." A frown was soon on Ford's face. "L-Look. I'm just an assistant nurse and I shouldn't even be doing this without anyone knowing, but I-I know when people… when people think what's b-best for someone but it only makes it worse." A certain part of Ford's mind was aware that Anna was probably close to cry by the sound of her voice, and another part of his brain couldn't help but sympathize with the girl. He knew exactly what she implied. "… They… they plan on having the children split apart."

Something inside Ford dropped down in his stomach. Something unsettling and felt foreboding that made his insides turn sickly and uneasy. His mind raced with thoughts that ran millions a second. Split apart? They plan on splitting they apart?Why? What for? Couldn't they stay together? Why split them away from each other? Why would they do that? How could they do that? Wait, they were only children? They plan to split the children apart after what they've been through? Who thought of such a stupid decision? Why split them apart? God Damn It! If only the bastard who thought to split them apart was here so he could give them a piece of his mind right now!

"Mr. Ford?"

Ford blinked back into reality, suddenly aware that he somehow managed to seat himself on a chair with the phone in one hand on the other hand tangled in his hair that probably needed a shower soon.

"Mr. Ford? Are you there?"

The phone was back in his attention again and he brought it back to his ear. "Yes, yes I-I'm sorry it just… Split them apart? After what they've been through? I-It just doesn't make any sense!"

"I know, but since there are no other close by relatives to take them in, they… they plan to give them to different foster homes."

Well that certainly made things a whole lot better for Ford.

"Listen, I know this is probably asking much, a-and this is probably the craziest thing to be hearing today, especially from someone from another country no doubt but unless they have a relative to come and take care of them before the end of the week, there's no doubt that they're going to take the twins and-"

"I'll come." The answer was out of Ford's mouth before he even realized what he had just said without thinking. "I'll… I'll come. Just, just tell me which hospital they're at and I'll come."

"R-really?"

"Yes."

"O-Oh thank God! Th-thank! Thank you! This is! This is a major relief! They-They didn't even try to contact anyone once they figured that no one was nearby in this country and oh God! This is great! Oh! Right, you still need the address. Alright, get something to jot down ready."

Ford nodded, patting around his coat till he found a pen and started to scrawl down the address. Once he had the information, he thanked the nurse and hung up, turning to head out the kitchen and pack for the trip when the sudden realization hit him.

Hard.

"What did I just agree to?!" Panic swelled in his chest, gripping his head and tangling all six of fingered hands in his greying hair as the memory of what just happened moments ago played in his mind over again and again, all coming with the same conclusion. Him, Stanford Filbrick Pines, world genius and 12 PhD's, had agreed to take care of a couple of kids who were supposedly his niece and nephew whom he had no clue about and lived far off in a different country.

Warning sirens were blaring in his head. There were so many ways that this could be a trap, a hoax, a gimmick, something that was certainly not true about this. There was no way that he had a niece and nephew, he would've known that he had them! This! This was insane! None of this had to be true! None of it!

… But, then again, he hadn't really kept in touch with his family for a long time now. A really long time. So it would be common for him not to really know if he had a niece and a nephew with him being so disconnected from any family lines for a long while now. It was a possibility that he really did have a niece and nephew… and the women, Anna, sounded really sincere and distressed when she talked about the children, no obvious lie in her voice what so ever. Plus, no one would really go through all the trouble of calling him if there really wasn't any nearby relatives, even if they were pretty far from each other.

Ford sighed, dragging one hand down his face and the other grabbing locks of hair on the back of his head. There was no real way of knowing what was true or not without going to California and seeing the kids for himself. He could look up the address that he was given, that could prove that it was true or not but the kids…

A blood test or some viable proof should be enough.

With a groan, Ford continued with his previous task. First he had to pack, then worry about all of this on the way there, and if it was all true, then there was no doubt that they would fall into his care since there would be no one else to take care of them.

Once again, Ford stopped short.

The kids would fall into his care. Two kids. Going to possibly live with him. Him!

Strings of curses went out under his breath and began pacing around. Damn it all! He couldn't take care of a child, let alone two! What was he thinking?! He didn't have enough supplies or knowledge of childcare! He had money, sure, but that was saved for emergencies and necessities till summer rolled by for the shack to open, and that was a week from now or if people went on vacation early. Damn it all, how was supposed to care for them and run a business?!

Well, technically the business wasn't really his to begin with. It was just something that he relied off of since he used all his grant money on his project. If it wasn't for-

… oh… right.

He had another problem on his hands.

"What am I going to do?" Ford groaned, slipping into the easy chair and hid his face in his hands. "There's no way I can take care of them! This is-this is unreal! I must be dreaming!"

But he knew he wasn't. His dreams were much different than this. Much different. He was wide awake that was for sure, but it still felt unreal to him.

"I… I can't do this." He slumped against the chair. "There's no way I can do this…"

Silence was soon all he could hear. His body relaxed into the chair, letting himself calm down and think more clearly, going over everything again and again. Brown eyes looked out in the room. It was, in a sense, cozy looking. Inviting and warm, unlike how it had previously been years ago. It was well furnished and held a welcoming atmosphere around it, and yet it held a slight enchantment and mystery that drew in people with awe and wonder. A perfect balance that held each end together perfectly.

Out of the corner of his eye, Ford reached over to the dinosaur skull and plucked the item off it and brought it over to look at it properly. His frown slowly melted into a soft smile, running a thumb over the rime of an old frame that held an old photo behind a thin sheet of glass.

The smile quickly faded and determination soon replaced it. Setting the frame back into it's original spot, he got up onto his feet and headed up the stairs, grabbing his coat off the coat hanger along the way and hesitantly put it on.

His name was Stanford Pines, the man with 12 PhD's, made amazing discoveries in this small town in the middle of nowhere, and a man of science that took on dangers and risks every day like a professional. If he could take on monsters in his everyday life, he could handle raising a pair of twins.

… wait.

DID SHE SAY THEY WERE TWINS?!


"I shouldn't be gone no longer than a week. While I'm gone, this place needs to be clean and not a single thing out of place or anything strange when I come back with them, alright Soos?" With the last of his luggage in the car, Ford turned to the man-child beside him.

Jesus Alzamirano Ramírez, or Soos as he preferred, was a very odd man in Ford's case, but unbelievably loyal. If there was anyone he could trust to take care of the shack while he was away, Soos was the… man? Man-child? … He'll go with person. Soos was the only person he could rely on.

"No prob dude!" Soos smiled, tipping his hat a bit. "Man I can't wait to meet the lil' dudes! It'll be fun havin' some new faces around here! Hey, you think they might like the Mystery Shack?"

Ford, shutting the trunk of the car close, spared a glance to his home. It wasn't a nice sight to see, and it had seen better days in its younger years, but it was home to Stanford. And probably home to the twins too. If they were related that is. "It's… debatable Soos. I don't really know what they'll like or what they won't like till I meet them. As I said before, this is the first time I'll be meeting them. Things might be a little…" He paused a bit, waving a hand in the air to emphasize his point while trying to find the right way to describe the situation to the handyman. "… unsteady, at first. But I'm sure things will go fine." He looked back at Soos, putting on a hard face. "Just make sure that everything is ready when I get back."

"Yes sir!" Soos saluted. "Get necessary items that they need, get the attic cleaned up and ready, make sure that there's plenty of food when you arrive, and make sure that the gnomes don't chew up the furniture."

"Good." With a nod, Ford stepped into the car and started the engine, rolling down the window a moment later. "And one more thing." The smile on Soos face went away as Ford looked at him dead in the eye with heavy seriousness. "If… you-know-who, stops by while I'm gone." Ice laced his voice and his grip on the wheel turned his knuckles white. "Tell them that I still won't consider their offer and I never will. And if they're persistent, have Wendy use the hose."

"Got it!"

With a nod, Ford rolled the window back up and shifted the car into gear and drove out.

"Let's see, mental checklist. Mental checklist." Ford mumbled to himself, turning the car onto the main road and out of the forest. "Let's see. I have clothes, check. Toothbrush plus toothpaste, check. Money just in case I need to get something, check." He glanced out the window, watching the trees pass by. But his focus wasn't on the trees. "Snacks, log journal, book on legal care, medication, check, check, check, and check."

He spared a glance back on the road, seeing the small town not too far off now. "What else is there?" Six fingers thrummed against the steering wheel. His eyes went back onto the forest, spying a pathway with a danger sign out front that lead into the forest ahead. He stared at it for a few moments before sighing and turning the wheel, driving the car off the main road and into the thick woods.

Ford drove in silence as he maneuvered the car deeper and deeper into the woods. He didn't have to worry about running into anything or have anything block his path to his destination.

The path was always clear whenever he took it.

Minutes of driving in silence, the car was soon in a clearing, deep in the woods and far away from any prying eyes. Ford brought the car to a stop in the middle of the clearing, shutting the engine off and sat there.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

"… You're not usually this late." He mumbled, glancing out the side window. "Are you hunting? … Or is it something else?" His brows knotted together. "…" With frustrated sigh, Stanford reached into his coat, taking out a leather book and a fountain pen. "Guess it's a good time as any to jot some things down." He mused, flipping the book open to his last entry.

July 19th,

I swear, Wendy's brothers will drive me insane one of these days! Today I found them SPRAY PAINTING the SIDE of MY HOUSE! I would have taught them all a lesson or two if Wendy hadn't shown up and take care of it. I still banded her brothers for two weeks off my premises after they cleaned their mess up and took some money off of Wendy's pay. I know it wasn't reasonable to do that to her, but money is a bit tight at the moment after the whole… 'hole' incident last month. Fortunately, Wendy was understanding enough, so there's no ill will between us… I think.

Any who, my studies have been coming along slowly. Research is still a negative but there have been some spikes in the radars. Not too high to cause an alarm so no worries there. The crystal that I've been studying has shown a great capability to what I need. With just enough crushed moonstones and some golden twine mixed with unicorn hair, it could be just what I need!

The entry stopped there. Nothing else had happened on that day that he needed to jot down. But today however, had a lot of things he need to write. Picking up the pen, he began on a clean page of his journal.

July 20th,

Today has been… hectic. I would assume that it would be a normal day today as I got out of bed and made breakfast, but I should have suspected better. It all happened when the phone went off. I let the machine answer it for me, as I figured that 'they' were calling me again.

I was wrong.

Instead of the 'usual caller', to my surprise it was a woman calling me from another state. From Piedmont California. She claimed to be an assistant nurse and was calling me to inform me of an… unfortunate accident, claiming the lives of two unfortunate souls. Their children however, my niece and nephew, have survived the accident, hopefully with some minor scrapes and cuts and nothing too… permanent.

However, it seems that I am the only relative, excluding the distance between us, close by and have been requested to care for them or else they would be split apart and sent to different foster homes. After what they've been through, I could not ignore such thing. Therefor, today I am heading out to Piedmont California to pick up the kids and bring them here in Gravity Falls to live with me.

If we are related that is.

I'm still cautious of this whole thing, so I will remain alert and high on my guard till I can prove or disprove that they are indeed my niece and nephew.

Still, with what has happened today, it was a kick start to get me out of the house and on the road. Though, I made a quick detour to the woods. There's something I must do first there. And hopefully he's in a good mood tod-

THUNK!

Ink splatter and scrawled in an unkempt and unorderly fashion as Ford was suddenly jolted from his thoughts and back into reality by the car suddenly shaking. On instinct, he dropped the pen and reached for his belt where his special made gun that he kept with him whenever he left the shack was holstered to his side.

Tap.

Tap.

Screak.

Tap.

His hand stopped, hovering over the weapon but never touching it. "You really must think of a better way to let yourself be known." He growled in irritation, abandoning the weapon and unbuckling, opening the door to step out. "I'm not as young as I use to be. Surprises like that could give me a heart attack in my old age!" He nearly shouted as he stepped out of the car, closing the door shut behind him before sighing and leaned against it, pressing a hand on his face. "… I'm grateful you remembered the code. I was almost ready to shoot."

There was a slight tremor beside him, but Ford didn't spare a glance at it to know that they were right beside him. "I would start asking how your day has been so far, but I wouldn't. I… I don't have the time for such thing right now… I won't have time for it for a whole week actually."

Something shifted, leaning against the car with enough force that it dipped down slightly, evident that they were listening to his every word but seemingly not enjoying it so far.

"Listen, something important came up that requires my attention." Dragging the hand down to the side of his face, his eyes glanced ahead, not wanting to look at his company just yet. "I should be gone no longer than a week, simply seven days. Tops! … I… I don't want to leave Gravity Falls for that long, but it sadly has to be that way."

THUNK!

Ford nearly jumped in surprise, but sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Yes yes. I know. That's completely stupid coming from me. But you have to understand! This is important! Really important." He paused a bit, looking to the ground as if it held the answers that he needed. "… family important."

His voice was soft and quiet, almost under his breath and barely above a whisper, but he was certain that they heard him. Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly through his nose, he steeled himself for what he was about to say next.

"I got a call this morning… one from Piedmont California. It seems that… an accident happened and well…" He shifted his weight on one foot to the other, rubbing the back of his head. "It… it seems that I need to pick up a couple of… kids. A niece and a nephew. I-I don't know if they really are related or not but I could have a test run to prove it. B-but it may be more of a t-trap and-"

A strong grip was applied to Ford's shoulder before jerking him to the left, followed suit by a tight constriction wrapping around his upper body in a strong hold. It clicked instantly in Ford's mind that he was being hugged, smiled, and hugged back as best he could.

"Thanks. Just… promise me you'll stay in the forest till I get back. Just a week, a whole one hundred and sixty eight hours and then I'll be back…" His grip tightened slightly, burying his face against a hard felt shoulder. "… I promise I'll be back." His voice was muffled but it seemed clear enough for them as he felt them shake their head against his own shoulder.

It felt like forever, but it was only over a slight minute before he broke apart from the hug. "Oh! And one more thing before I go." He dug around in his pocket of his coat, searching a bit before his fingers brushed against something and pulled out what he was looking for and held the item out. "I had just enough materials to make it last night." His smile beamed as they took the item out of his open palm. "It should do the trick in keeping the more unwelcomed creatures away and add as a protective against… well." He shrugged, eyes darting to the sky. "You know."

He watched as they placed the item around their neck, and once he was sure that it was secured, he patted them on the shoulder, giving the best smile he could that didn't show off his nervousness, though he was certain that they could already tell, and swiftly got into the car, sparing one more glance out the window before starting the engine up again and drove out of the clearing the same way he came. It was once the clearing had disappeared from the rear view mirror that he let his mask fall.

He was nervous, slightly scared even. A week away from his home town to go and possibly visit and/or take custody of his maybe niece and nephew, it was more frightening than fighting a ten foot monster. It wasn't something he could blast, that would make things even worse. It wasn't something he was familiar with, human interaction was not his strong suit in the slightest. It wasn't something of a two person team, he never went alone for long.

This was entirely new for him, something out of his knowledge and out of his familiar field of science that he was used to.

And what was worse was the possibility of coming back with a pair of kids. Twins! Another thing out of his league!

"Things just get crazier and crazier each day." He sighed, switching the radio on. "How does anyone deal with this type of stuff each day?" Ford mused, keeping his eyes locked on the road as he drove into town, sparing glances here and there in the small town. "… Will they even like it here?"

There was a lot of stuff here that others would consider strange or odd who hadn't lived here as long as Gravity Falls inhabitants. He wondered if the kids would get use to it, if they would get use to him. Taking one hand off the wheel, he flexed all six of his fingers. Would they be scared of him? Find him odd? A freak?

… There was only one way to find out.

Focus back on the road, Ford knew as he drove the car out of town and on the road that lead out of Gravity Falls that he grew to call home, that after today, everything would change completely.

… But first.

There was a certain sign he had to fix first before leaving just yet.


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