Walter slouched in his chair, staring blankly at the monitor screen, seeing in his mind's eye the victorious expression on Paige's face as she walked by him, triumphant. He supposed he deserved it, he'd been his usual arrogant, smug self, trying to show them he didn't need them, that he was fine on his own. He'd asked her to wait, for no real reason other than he didn't want her to go, but the doors had closed, and Walter was left feeling utterly defeated.
Before he'd met Paige, the whole situation would have been nothing more than an annoyance, noted and then filed away as just another encounter he didn't quite understand or care to. Now though, he was significantly more self-aware. It hurt, and he couldn't push the feelings aside anymore, no matter how hard he tried. She'd left him and taken everything he cared about with her, and it was all his own doing. The emotional flood gates were opening, and a lifetime of rejection and misunderstanding was threatening to overwhelm him. How could someone with 197 IQ have gotten things so terribly, terribly wrong. He missed her, missed them all, his family, his cyclone.
The garage door banged open and Walter quickly straightened up and began typing, swallowing past the lump in his throat.
"You okay kid?" asked Cabe.
"Yes. I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"
"Walter…" Cabe sighed
"Stop. Please." Walter stood and folded his arms across his chest defensively "I don't need another of your talks. Not today." He hung his head and stared at his shoes, tensed for further argument as Cabe studied him.
"Fine, not today. But I ain't dropping it Walt." Walter nodded and put his hands in his pockets still looking at his shoes. "You're welcome to join Allie and me for dinner, it'd be good for you, to get out a bit, have some laughs."
"Thank you Cabe." He said, managing a small smile, "I'm fine. Enjoy your evening."
Walter couldn't think of anything he would like less at this moment than sitting in a restaurant with Cabe and Allie, a couple who were clearly happy and in love. He just wanted to be alone. He sat down and began typing again until he heard the clang of the door once more.
He lay back in the chair and closed his eyes. This couldn't continue. Logically he knew he had to talk to them all, to apologise, explain, but when you didn't know how to communicate your feelings, when you didn't really understand them yourself, how could you lay yourself bare. The thought of doing so and being rejected again sent a shudder down his spine.
He climbed the stairs to his empty loft and stripped off to take a shower. He braced his palms against the wall and closed his eyes, letting the stream of hot water wash over him as he tried not to think. He was so tired. Who knew emotional turmoil could be so exhausting.
The room was filled with steam when he stepped out, he wiped his hand across the mirror and looked at the face of the broken man reflected there. He had nothing left save his pride and what good was that. He had nothing to be proud of anymore.
He dried himself off and padded barefoot to the bed where Paige's scent still lingered on the sheets; he hadn't been able to bring himself to wash them and remove the last trace of her. Laying down he inhaled deeply and let memories of nights spent with her curled against him fill his mind as he drifted off to sleep. He'd call her in the morning.
