The only thing I should eally warn you about is strong language. Enjoy!


A Boy and a Blob Play

Portal 2

The first game that Mac and Bloo were going to play in the Foster's Home arcade was a Play Station that everyone is raving about called Portal 2.

Bloo was going to be the fist one to play, as Mac was just going to tell his idiot friend what to do; soon, the game started, Bloo was holding the controller in his stubby hands, and Chell, Bloo's character, was starting in the first level room, where a portal opened.

"Look, a portal; there ya go," Mac pointed out flatly.

"Ah, what the fuck?!" Bloo exclaimed with confusion the second he turned and stared into the blue portal, and he kept turning when saw himself standing outside the glass room Chell was in.

"Who…who's that?"

"Do you not understand the concept of portals?" Mac asked with a cocked eyebrow.

"What the fuck? I'm getting…I'm getting stressed out just by looking at it," Bloo said while trying to close his eyes tightly and make his head stop hurting.

"This is like the whole game! This is it!" Mac added with anger.

"This is like…like looking through one of those…one of those infinite mirror…elevators," Bloo said while getting back to the game and looking through the portal again.

"Yes, exactly, but you can jump through it," Mac pointed out.

"Yeah, but those kinds of elevators freak me out, and that sucks," Bloo said in a whimper while imagining himself alone in one of those elevators that has infinity mirror walls.

"You're seriously scared of those?" Mac asked with a smirk.

"Yeah."

"But where is this even coming from?" Bloo suddenly questioned, "how many are there? Are there three or four?"

"There's two," Mac replied.

"No, you're wrong; look, one…two…"

"Yeah, two!"

"And three!"

"You're looking at the portal…through this portal…just from different directions," Mac tried to explain while putting pressure on his temples to keep his own head from hurting.

"Wait, hold on; give-give me a sec here," Bloo said as he slowly went through the portal, but he only went halfway, and Mac was not amused.

"What are you doing?!"

"I still don't get it."


Eventually, Bloo's head stopped hurting and he got to the next level where he had to go through to level two, and there was that vaporizing wall in the doorway to the elevator.

"What-what is that?" Bloo questioned while staring with confusion at the vaporizing wall.

"It's, uh…it's a material mastication wall," Mac replied while thinking hard.

"Wait, what? I don't…I don't listen to rap, Dude," Bloo added while his head started hurting again.


Once Bloo walked into the elevator and went on to the next level, he was then stuck in this big, circular and messy room, and then he and Mac started to hear an over-head male voice speaking in the game.

"Relax. Lie on your back. Apply immediate pressure to your temples…"

"Ok…" Bloo said softly, and Mac was waiting while drinking some apple juice in one of those really small juice boxes.

"You are simply experiencing a rare reaction in which the material mastication grid may have emancipated your ear tubes inside your head."

"My ear tubes?!" Bloo asked with shock.

"You don't need those, Man," Mac grimly pointed out.

"But they're my favorite tubes," Bloo whined.

"No they're not!" Mac said angrily.


Bloo was soon on the next level, but he didn't have the portal gun yet; what Bloo DID have was a companion cube, and he had just picked it up, but Mac was starting to get angry as to how slow his imaginary friend was with playing this.

"It's NOT hard; it's NOT that hard."

"Well, no one ever told me anything or what to do," Bloo sadly pointed out.

"No one tells you anything! To my knowledge, I'm to only one who can tolerate talking to you! Ya know, you're like Ralph Wiggim!" Mac angrily exclaimed, and Bloo felt really sad now that his creator just yelled at him, "I just turn around for two seconds, and then I catch ya eatin' glue and crayons."

"Ya know, this is getting a little too personal," Bloo sighed in defeat when Mac proved to be right when the boy turned around, and Bloo was now actually snacking on glue and crayons.


When Bloo went down into the next room the elevator took him, he was starting to get really ticked that he didn't have his portal gun yet.

"Man, I'm pissed; when the heck am I gonna get my weapons?"

"You'll get your shot gun when episode three comes out," Mac pointed out.

"Yeah, that was, like, my LEAST favorite Star Wars episode, I'll tell ya that," Bloo grimly added while reaching over the couch's arm and picked up Star Wars.

"What the fuck are you even…oh, fuck you," Mac chuckled in defeat.


Bloo was now excited that he reached the level when he met up with Wheatley again, and he was certain he was going to get his portal gun soon.

"Hey, you made it! Glad ta see that you're ok, Mate!" Wheatley said with glee in the game, "there should be a portal gun on that podium over there…can't see it, though!"

"Hey, it's Ricky," Bloo said with a smile, thinking that Wheatley's name was actually Ricky.

"His name is not…his name isn't Ricky…they're not…they're not ALL named Ricky; that's just horrible," Mac growled in disappointment.

So, after that, Bloo just moved towards the sparking podium that had no gun, and before anyone knew it, the floor suddenly gave out, and now Bloo's character Chell was now down in a dark and watery area.

"Oh, no-shit-fuuuuu…" Bloo screamed at first, but then he sighed in defeat.

"See? That's progression," Mac pointed out with a grin.

"Can you see the portal gun?!" Wheatley called in the game.

"No," Bloo replied while looking around.

"Also, are you alive?!" Wheatley added.

"Yes!" Bloo called back.

"Why are you physically responding to the game?" Mac asked angrily.

"Because…" Bloo tried to find the right words.

"The-the T.V. CAN'T hear you!" Mac yelled.

"Well, look, I don't have a shot gun yet, so I have to find my way out," Bloo grimly added.

"The T.V. can't hear you!" Mac angrily repeated.


"Smooth jazz will be deployed," the male over-head voice announced when Bloo finally got to a new area.

"Smooth jazz?" Bloo questioned.

"You ready for some smooth jazz?" Mac asked with a smirk.

Not a second later, some classic and smooth jazz started playing in the game.

"Aw, shit!" Bloo exclaimed with excitement.

"It's so smooth, I can't take it!" Mac yelled happily.

"I'm just all over the place!" Bloo shouted while rolling all over the floor.

"I'm just slidin' outta mah seat!" Mac said while purposely sliding out of his seat on the couch.

"Oh, it's so grea-awww…" Bloo yelled again, but that was when the jazz suddenly started becoming distorted and creepy, and that crushed the boy and the blob.

"That's depressing," Mac sighed.


"Ooh, a cubie!" Bloo said when he excitedly pointed out a companion cube in a square pit below. And yes, Bloo finally got his portal gun.

"Yes, there i—cubie?" Mac was going to reassure his friend, but he was confused when Bloo didn't even refer to the companion cube correctly.


Bloo was now in a level where he had to use his new portal gun to get up onto one ledge, and then get onto the other ledge across the room that had the next companion cube.

"Now, you just have to get that cube…can you find a way?" Mac asked while mocking Dora the explorer.

But soon enough, Bloo fired the portals, and he got onto the ledge with the cube.

"Holy shit, good job! Yeah, I think I have some dog treats in here that I can give you," Mac cheered sarcastically while reaching into his back-pack.

"Well, that's nice of-hey!" Bloo fell for it at first, but he wasn't happy when he suddenly realized Mac was being sarcastic.


"W-why is this so depressing?" Mac asked when Bloo went on into another large room with overgrown plants on some walls.

"Well, look at it; it's cold and sterile," Bloo replied.

"No, it's not! Look, there's a plant!" Mac protested while pointing out the overgrowth.

"That's just overgrown 'cause everything's so shitty," Bloo grimly added.


"Now, quick! Jump and run through that door," Mac said rapidly when Bloo was now standing on a button that held the door to the next level open, but when Bloo jumped and tried to get to the door that was only a yard or two away, it closed before he could reach it.

"Aaaawwww…" Mac mocked.

"Hold on, hold on, hold on…I-I didn't nail my landing there," Bloo growled while going to stand back on the button, but when he jumped off, he only failed again.

"Oh, that's some bullshit," Bloo grumbled.


Bloo was now in a different area, but while he was carrying a cube around to use it to help him, Mac was starting to get mad at him again for taking too long.

"I swear, every time you ask where, and I point at it, and you just ask where again and then move the camera, it makes me want to choke you like a puppy…"

Bloo was happy when he once again found Wheatley, and the said small robot was on his rail on the other side of a destroyed wall.

"Hey, it's Ricky again," Bloo said with a smile.

"His name is not Ricky! Now, could you just fuckin'…throw the fuckin' portal behind fuckin' Ricky, and just…" Mac grumbled on, but he stopped and ehale when he realized he just called Wheatley Ricky too, "now you're sayin' it and shit; now I'm…fuck you! You're like brain cancer…mind cancer! Y-you're not a tumor, you're just…you're hurting my ideas!"

Bloo was crushed for a little while since his best friend just yelled at him again.


"Wait, what are we doin' here?" Bloo asked with worry as he used his portal gun to carry Wheatley out into the junk yard where a presumed dead GLADoS lie.

"You just need to find an escape route, and don't worry, it's fuckin' harmless," Mac pointed out.

"B-but he keeps saying that bad things'll happen," Bloo whimpered.

"That…that dude's just a little bitch; don't-don't worry about 'm."

"Nothing bad is gonna happen?"

"NOTHING bad is gonna happen."


"Oh…it's YOU," GLADoS growled in the game as he now had a hold of Chell and Wheatley, and Mac and Bloo both gasped when Wheatley was suddenly crushed and thrown away.

"Oh, shit!" Mac exclaimed.

"I thought you said nothing bad would happen!" Bloo cried.

"To YOU; not to you!" Mac shouted back.

"Nooo…not Ricky!" Bloo sobbed and immediately started missing Wheatley.


Eventually, Bloo convinced Mac to join him in co-op mode in Portal 2, and the robots P-Body and Atlas were now being built in front of them.

"Cool, I'm a robot," Bloo said with a smile.

"I'm a robot too," Mac added while taking a Play Station controller in his hands.

"Well, I'm a better robot than you," Bloo grumbled.

"You don't even know which one you are," Mac added matter-of-factly.

"I the one that's the best one."

"And which one is that?"

"It's…it's got…it's got blue in it," Bloo lied, but he was lucky when he started playing Atlas, who had blue in its eye, "yeah, I'm that one!"

"You're that one?"

"Yeah."

"Cool…I get to be that tall and fit robot," Mac pointed out when he was now playing P-Body.

"Aw, fuck," Bloo growled.


"What's the most American animal?" Bloo asked when he and Mac had to choose from a panel of animal pictures.

"Oh…the chicken," Mac replied.

"No way…no way, Man; I'm like…I'm like three wolf moon, here," Bloo said as he was now wearing a t-shirt with wolves and a moon on it.

And when they chose the wolf, it turned out that Bloo was right.

"Yeah, you suck," Bloo chuckled to rub it in Mac's face.


"Dude, I got somethin' cool I wanna show ya," Mac said when he and Bloo were in the same room, and Mac had a scheming grin on his face, which was a red flag for Bloo.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, yeah….yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah…look, just get under your portal on the ceiling…and then just look down…and shoot a portal at your feet," Mac slowly explained for Bloo to follow his directions, but the blob still didn't trust him.

"Ya know what? I'm gonna say no ta this."

"Just do it!" Mac shouted.

"Alright, fine," Bloo admitted in defeat.

"Just do it, you wimp!"

So, Bloo shot a portal at his feet, and he started looking like an idiot when he fell down through the same two portals over and over again, really fast.

"Yeeeeeaaaaah…you're travelin' through space-time now!" Mac cheered.

But while Mac was gloating, he kept trying to shoot his portal gun, and eventually, Atlas flew far off enough to the side and he stopped falling.

"Yeah, that's right! I escaped you're stupid little trap!" Bloo cheered, but when he suddenly walked forward, he fell into the trap again, "FUCK!"


"Hey, step on that button there," Mac demanded for Bloo to make his character Atlas to step on a big red button on the floor inside a separate room because that button would keep the panels needed to open the next area for P-Body to enter.

But just when Mac went to get to the doors, Bloo tricked him and stepped off.

"Why would you do that?!" Mac exclaimed angrily.

"Oops…" Bloo said with a smirk.

"JUST FUCKIN' STEP ON THE BUTTON!"

"Ok, ok…" Bloo grumbled and stepped on the button again, and Mac immediately went running back towards them.

"Goddamnit…" Mac grumbled.

But the boy was once again tricked when Bloo suddenly stepped off just before he could get through the doorway.

"WHY WOULD YOU FUCKING DO THAT?!"


"I swear ta God…if I fucking go over there…and that shit closes on me again, I'm gonna go outside, find a homeless man, and then I'll pay him to take a dump in your sink," Mac calmly yet firmly explained, and Bloo rolled his eyes and stepped on the button again.

Not another word was said after that, and Mac ran over to the doors again…only for Bloo to have tricked him yet again.

"WHY WOULD YOU FUCKING-?!"


"Just take the cube…I don't even want it," Mac grumbled as he threw the companion cube they needed over a glass wall that, and they actually needed it to solve the puzzle since P-Body was now stuck on a panel surrounded by poisonous water.

"Slam dunk!" Bloo shouted and suddenly threw the cube back over the wall back to Mac.

"Stop, no…you have ta use it ta…solve the shit!" Mac argued while throwing it back.

"Yeah!" Bloo cheered while he kept throwing it back over, and Mac had to keep throwing it back.

"Stop it! Fuckin' st—AMERICA!" Mac suddenly exclaimed in rage.

"Why would you do-AHH, FUCK!" Mac exclaimed when he took a step forward, but he slipped and P-Body fell and died in the water, making Bloo nearly fall off the couch dying of laughter.


"Have you been jumping? W-what are you doing?" Mac asked with a cocked eyebrow when P-Body and Atlas were now in the same room again, but Bloo had shot a couple of portals right next to each other on the ground, and now Atlas was aimlessly jumping between them.

"Stop it," Mac demanded because Bloo looked like a bigger idiot than he usually is, "we gotta solve these fuckin' puzzles."

"I can't stop! There's just too many…sciences!" Bloo laughed hysterically while still jumping and flipping between the portals.

And eventually, Mac just gave up, and he shot a portal directly above and below him like how he tricked Bloo earlier, and he was just hurling down continuously.

"We're like an app-shack of stupidity," Bloo sighed.

"Yeah, but it's mostly you, though," Mac added dryly.

"No, I think it's more fifty-fifty," Bloo added in a chuckle, "'cause you're basically in the same fuckin' problem I am."

"I hate you; I hate your face," Mac growled.

"I-I think we should play somethin' else…something that won't stress us out so much," Bloo wondered out loud, but Mac didn't reply, "so, what do you wanna play now?"


"Oh, this is AWESOME! I can't believe we've never played this before!" Mac cheered as he and Bloo had stopped playing Portal 2, and they were now happily jumping around and collecting coins in Super Mario Bros 2.

"Everything is fun!" Bloo cheered as his eyes grew big and sparkly with a huge smile.


Yes, in case you re wondering, this fanfic series is based off of the hilarious YouTube series Two Best Friends Play; Bloo is Matt(they're both usually stupid when playing video games), and Mac is Patt(they both can't stand how stupid their best friends are at video games or in general).

If you guys want, you suggest other games that Matt and Patt haven't even played, and I will gladly try to write a chapter where they play your requested game, and it will be funny.

Until the next chapter, I'm TRikiD, bye-bye!