Bloody Pharaoh
Chapter one: the end?
Disclaimer: I own nothing!! Nothing I tell ya!! Nothing!!
I bet you're wondering why the first chapter is called, the end. It's not a one shot, if you were wondering. Oh know, so sit back and relax all the MandyxIrwin goodness. Hey, don't spit you drink at me. I know the whole idea of Irwin with Mandy is enough to make one wretch, but trust me you'll love Irwin. Really. But he's quite OOc, it's for a reason. Anyway, me and my purry kitty wish you a long and happy reading time. R&R please!!
Chapter one: The End?
"Irwin, Irwin, Irwin, come over to my house so we can play" cried Billy with all of his usual obnoxious excitement.
Irwin sighed why couldn't anyone ever leave him alone. They either picked on him or they ignored him out right. No one cared. No one loved him. Why did billy even bother "I don't know billy, I'm not really in the mood too.."
"awwwwwwwwwwwwww, c'mon Irwin you never want to do anything any more." Berated billy in his annoying high pitched squeal. He didn't seem to care about Irwins pain, merely his own amusement.
"fine, I'll be over in a couple." Irwin groaned dejectedly, he was then forced to hold the phone away from his ear to shield himself from billy's triumphant squeels.
Irwin slid off the bed and shuffed over to his dresser. There lay his wrist guards, his dark grey shirt, and black pants. His hair had grown long as he was too depressed to cut it. He inspected and readjusted his arm bands, making sure none of the scars could be seen. He loathed himself, infact so did everyone around him. Especially the woman he loved, Mandy. She was dark, mysterious, beautiful, and dangerous. He sighed thinking of her only made him think of how much she hated him. That's why he cut himself. The only time he was happy was when he cut himself, he felt free from all the pain. For the longest time he had been happy go lucky. Not a care in the world, perfectly happy to be kicked around by those he cared for most. But after a while it dawned on him that his life was hell.
As he trudged out the open front door, the didn't even say "later" to his parents. He new they wouldn't notice he was gone. Slowly he made his way toward billy's house. Knowing seeing mandy would only bring him pain. Not to mention seeing grim. It wasn't that he was afraid of death, but that his wrists healed too quickly. Seeing death incarnate would be like a cruel slap in the face, not unlike the ones he constantly received from Mandy herself. He tried time and again to no avail. He just needed a better method. Until he though of one he would just have to suffer through life. Half heartedly he knocked on the door. Mandy opened it.
She glared "your late dweeb" she said in her usual monotone that somehow made her irresistible to him.
Irwin mumbled some half hearted apology, and crossed the door way into the living room where Billy and grim now sat. The bang of the door closing announced Irwins miserable presence to the world. A wide, stupid smile crossed Billy's face upon seeing his friend had arrived.
"Irwin!!" he shouted, running up to hug him.
"Ugh, hi billy sup?" chocked Irwin as he struggled in Billy's leviathan grasp.
"I saw a new game show, "Truth, or Boil in a pot of Lava." So I got it the board game from the store (in truth he had wined at his mom for a week before she caved in and bought it for him) and were going to play!!" he said excitedly, gesturing wildly toward the middle of the floor where the game board lay.
"What's with you Irwin, you don't smile, you always look like someone just killed you're dog, you don't flirt with me, you wear dark clothing, and those things?" she said, waving her hand dismissively in the direction of his arm bands. "Not that I mind the change, it's just creeping me out. And that's no mean feat either."
"Yah," said grim who was slumped onto the couch "it's not like dey go wit your outfit, why do you always wear dem?"
"I don't know, I just do that's all." He said defensively, hoping they'd back off.
"If they're no big deal then take them off" she said coldly, an eyebrow raised with her mild interest.
"N…no, I don't want t..to yo" Irwin stuttered, slowly backing toward the door.
"Why?" Mandy inquired, her curiosity had just grown from mild interest to slightly intrigued.
"Just cause, I don't want to" he muttered, eyes staring determinedly at his black shoes. This day was hard enough as it was. Why couldn't they just leave him alone?
"Ooh let me seee!!" came a screech from behind as billy lept upon his shoulders.
"No, billy, get off" shouted Irwin, swinging from left to right in an attempt to throw billy from him.
Billy climbed upwards onto Irwins head, away from his swinging arms, then tumbled forward and managed to slip them off on his way down.
"Irwin, are deese what I tink day are?" asked grim holding his wrist firmly, as he examined the obvious razor scars.
"No" he said with very little hope in his voice "they…they're bug bites, that's all.
Both grim and mandy raised one eyebrow. He did his best not to look into their eyes.
"so billy are we gonna play or not, Yo?" Irwin asked hopping to change the subject.
"yah, yah, yah, yah." Said billy, already setting up the game. He had obviously already forgotten the scars in the face of his own amusement.
"Sit!" he exclaimed forcing everyone into an awkward position on the floor around the game board. After making sure everyone had taken a playing piece, Billy took a card out of the box
"Who…do…yew…. Awl…luv…most" Billy squinted at the tiny writing on the card. His obvious reading deficiency was not about to stop him from enjoying himself.
"no one" replied grim somberly
"myself" replied mandy unabashed
Then it was Irwin's turn. He looked to the floor around his knees, searching for some way out of this situation. "Why bother asking? You all know"
"Good point. I'd rather he'd not say it aloud" said Mandy
"I love you all" said billy with an obnoxious grin, as he flung himself across the room onto Grim's neck.
"Get off of me boy!!" shouted grim, as he pulled billy from his face. "isn't it enough dat I'm play'n dis blasted game wit you, without you assaulting you."
Billy giggled and ran back to his spot. He plopped down, and slowly picked up the next card. "Next card, who…dew…yew…hate…most"
"Either you or mandy" retorted grim with a disgruntled glare to his "best friends for life."
"Shut it grim" Mandy ordered. "But as for me it's hard to say. I hate everyone." After a moment of reflection she continued "I guess either Mindy or Irwin"
Irwin flinched, her words cut deeper then he let on. He continued to look at the shag carpeting. Slowly his gaze drifted to the pot of boiling lava, he cringed. Just cause he wanted to die didn't mean he didn't want to die like that!! "Myself" he mumbled helplessly.
Both Mandy and grim turned toward Irwin, in confusion. Billy either didn't hear or didn't care because he didn't pay attention
"clowns, or spiders, or mailmen. I hate them all so much!!" he fumed and ripped apart the playing board in some Bizzar fit of anger of wich he was prone too. He bit into the board with his teeth, shaking violently back and forth. Game pieces went flying every which way. The lava pot tipped over, spilling forth onto the carpet and burning a hole in the rug.
Well there goes the board game thought Irwin. It's the fourth one this week.
"Lets watch T.V now." Billy said bouncily, his momentary rage subsiding. His eyes became glued to the set, and a string of drool automatically came out of his mouth.
On TV there was a special about Egypt. It showed a long cliff right before the Nile whose waters glittered like perfect diamonds amongst the sandy shores of the desert along witch it lay. Suddenly Irwin sat straight up, this serene view had caught his attention. That was it, the perfect spot. It was after all the land of his mother. He would drown, so he couldn't heal easily, and someone might actually take notice once they found his floating corpse. The only problem was getting there.
"this is boring" said Mandy as she lazed on the couch unhappily.
Another moment passed before yet another idea hit him. Plus this way he'd be able to see his dark angels face one last time, he thought as he gazed up longingly at his gothic goddess. I'll be right back he said and raced off to the kitchen. Once there he hid a knife about his person and went back into the living room with a smile. It was fool proof
"I've got an idea" he said smiling fakely. "Let's go Egypt"
"why" retorted Mandy automatically
"Because, uh, because it will be exciting. I mean the tombs, the pyramids, the…" he stopped seeing the unconvinced look on her face.
He sighed "because if we go to the spot we saw on TV, I, Irwin,( and it is important that he said Irwin so shut up dammit) will never flirt with you again" he looked up hopefully, this time it was obvious his plan had worked.
"grim we're going to Egypt" said Mandy forcefully, springing off the couch with such speed it almost looked as though she were excited, almost.
Grim slumped off the couch, and dejectedly got to his feet. " fine, c'mon kids lets make dis quick. Me soaps are on in half an hour" the reaper snapped as he tore a small wormhole in the fabric of reality
"I'll be as quick as I can." Whispered Irwin so quietly only he could hear
Irwin ran excitedly to the cliffs edge. His eyes moved toward at the sky and his hand shot up to shield them from the blaring Egyptian sun. He took a long deep breath and sniffed in the sandy, salty, spice filled air. For the first time in a long time, was happy. The sun shone on his back and the wind whipped his long uncut hair from his face. He looked at his surroundings for the last time and turned back toward his so called "friends"
"Thank you, for this" He smilled "I wanted it to be perfect, and it will be"
"What will be, what are you talking about?" asked Mandy utterly confused, she didn't like this.What was he planning, she wondered. The new look, new attitude. Was this some stupid new way of coming on to her? Was he trying to make her feel sorry for him? If he was he was fighting an already lost battle.
"I want to ask for one more favor though. Hold Billy back for me."
Grim sighed, shook his head annoyedly, and grabbed billy's arm as Irwin had requested. He could guess what was coming. He'd seen enough suicide in his job (heh, no kidding) to figure it out. But Mandy hadn't. She was very, very confused and just as put out.
"Irwin what are you doing?" She snapped "Get over here, we're leaving. With or without you, it's you're choice."
Irwin just smiled more broadly at her, his eyes half closed serenely. This infuriated her more if anything. "I just want you guys to know that you'll always be in my heart." Irwin said smilling at them "Billy you were the best friend I could have asked for, thank you. And Mandy, you may hate me, but I will always love you. I just can't keep going when no one cares. I can't stand every day knowing the woman I love wants me dead. I'm sorry goodbye."
Recognition dawned on Mandy's face as Irwin drew the blade out.
"I'd stab myself in the heart, but I don't have any left. It's been broken." And with that he plunged the knife deep into his stomach.
He coughed blood up onto his shirt and staggered backward, clutching the knife. "I'm sorry…I...I…lo" he managed to gasp before his eyes rolled into his head, fell backwards and was gone. His body plunged downward into the shimmering river Nile. All that could be heard over the crashing waves was Billy's screams.
Ah yes, I do have a flare for the overly dramatic don't I? however I have edited this so hopefully it'll be much better than the horribly written original. R&R please.
