Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Polar opposites"
By: Christina Snyder
Symbols: ~*~*~*~*~ -meanwhile ***** -later ^^^^^^^^ -happening as the last part happened
It's been 5 years since the night of the vampire massacre and since the night Xander disappeared. All they found was his silver necklace in a pool of his own blood which was broken in a manner that could have only been broken if it were ripped from his neck.
*******
Willow is sitting in her room looking through an old scrap book from back when she was in high school. She can't help but get misty eyed as she looks at the pictures of times past. Pictures of Oz, Cordellia, Buffy, herself, Giles, Dawn, and Xander. And some old pictures from back in middle school of her, Jesse, and Xander. Tears begin to streak down her cheeks as she thinks of everything that has happened since those innocent days of her childhood. Jesse got turned and then staked, Oz and Cordellia have been long gone, Tara's death which was about 6 years ago, Giles had went back to England 3 years ago. The morning after the vampire massacre Dawns cold limp body was found lifeless, drained of its blood and its neck snapped, then with Xander's disappearance. As she continued to look through the scrap book she plays with a silver necklace around her neck, the necklace was Xanders.
~*~*~*~*~
As the clock stroke 11 Buffy walked through the graveyard, tombstones in every direction. She walks up to her mother's grave, Dawns grave next to it. She sighs slightly, holding back tears. Everything has been so screwed up. With her mothers death, herself getting ripped out of heaven by her friends, Tara getting shot, willow going evil but then brought back by Xander, then with the vampire massacre she lost her best friend and her sister. The only things she really has left are Willow, Spike, and her slaying. Spike and Buffy have been seeing each other now for about 2 years.
Spike walks up behind Buffy and puts his hands on her waist.
Buffy doesn't respond to him she just stares at the 2 tombstones in front of her. So much pain and heartache felt inside of her.
~*~*~*~*~
A dark shadowy figure is walking down a dark dingy alley. He's wearing baggy black leather pants, black combat boots, a white wife beater, and a black leather jacket. His short dark brown hair is spiked and the tips are died blue. He has a scar on his forehead and another from his right ear to his chin. He has an evil smirk on his face, as he walks an intense hunger develops in the pit of his stomach and soon overcomes him. He continues to walk in search for a quick meal. His smirk becomes more of a grin as he sees a young girl towards the end of the alley.
~*~*~*~*~
Buffy kisses spike goodnight and walks out of the graveyard and starts to head home.
~*~*~*~*~
Willow gets up off of the bed and walks downstairs and grabs her jacket and walks outside to find Buffy. She pulls her jacket tightly around her and sighs, the necklace shimmering in the moonlight.
~*~*~*~*~
The shadowy figure walks up behind the young girl and says, "Now what's a pretty girl like you doing out so late?"
The girl replies, "Why do you care?"
"I just wouldn't want to see a beautiful girl like you get hurt, I mean it can be dangerous out here at night." He says
The girl says, "ooo I'm scared the boogie man's gonna get me"
"Oh im sorry I must have not introduced myself, I'm not the boogie man, I'm just something that goes Grr in the night."
The girl stopped walking and as she turned around to question him, the man vamps out and sinks his sharp pointy fangs deep into her neck. The girl shrieks with terror screaming at the top of her lungs but those screams slowly turn into gurgles then stop completely.
^^^^^^^^
Willow spots Buffy and walks up to her, "hey"
Buffy replies, "hey will"
Suddenly a blood curdling scream fills the air but it slowly stops. Buffy and Willow run to the alley where they hear the scream come from. As they arrive in the alley they see a dark figure drop a limp body to the ground. The figure was obviously a vamp.
Buffy quickly pulled out her stake ready for a fight, "god when I think my jobs done for the night and I can clock out something like that happens."
The figure takes a step forward, "uh did you just refer to me as a that?"
Buffy replies, "No I just referred to what you just did as that." She thinks to herself: god his voice sounds familiar
"Oh ok just making sure. So are we gonna fight or are we just gonna stand her gossiping all night cause hey I got places to go people to bite. Well I don't have any certain places to go but I do have people to bite, ok not any particular people to bite mainly just ones that happen to be there when I'm hungry but hey that's besides the point" he says
Buffy looks at Willow then back to the vampire. "You know for a vamp you sure do ramble a lot"
He shrugs, "eh old habits die hard," he un-vamps but his face is still cloaked by darkness.
Buffy rolls her eyes, "wow I've only had a couple of vamps un-vamp to fight me."
"Well I guess I'm one of the special few"
"Yeah and one to get a stake rammed through your heart"
"Hah you're funny." He replies with a slight chuckle
"Yeah it'll especially be funny when you explode into dust" she says as she looks over to willow
Willows face was pail with a look of confusion and bewilderment.
"Will what's wrong?" Buffy says with a look of concern
In a small crackly voice she replies, "Xander"
Buffy looks at her confused then it hits her, the voice, the rambling, the vampire was Xander.
Hearing his name said his grin quickly fades, he says quickly, "buh bye now" as soon as he said it he quickly jumped a fence and darted down another alley.
Willow and Buffy just stood there not sure what to do.
*****
Xander walks into an empty motel room as he sensed the sunrise quickly approaching. He takes off his black leather jacket and tosses it across a table, his arms back and chest a muscular then before. He has a scar running from his right elbow to his right shoulder blade, as he takes off his wife beater 5 scars going down his back become visible, they look like they could be from someone's fingernails. He lays across the bed on his back and slowly falls asleep.
~*~*~*~*~
Willow is sitting at the kitchen table with a worried look on her face, "Buffy what should we do?"
Buffy, pacing back and forth, "I honestly have no idea, but it couldn't have been him...could it?"
"There's only one way to know for sure." Willow says
"What's that will?" Buffy asks
"Well since we saw him tonight I'm pretty sure he couldn't have made it out of town yet, if he even intends to. So we can do a locator spell and if he shows up then we know it's him and maybe we could confront him or something."
"Well its worth a shot"
They gather the materials for the spell and set it up, willow lights 5 candles which are at each of the points of the pegan star, and takes off the necklace and places it in the center and begins the spell, a flash of light fills the room then the candles go out and the room goes dark. Buffy turns on a light "did it work?"
Willow picks up the necklace from the floor and puts it back on and smiles faintly "he's at the Sunnydale motel"
"I guess our old friend isn't one for crypts"
"Well he never was one for cemeteries to begin with."
*****
Xander is lying across the bed with his arm draped over his eyes; on that wrist is a blue and white flame tattoo. He's growling slightly while he's dreaming.
~*~*~*~*~
Buffy and willow find the motel and the room, they stand anxiously at the door, not sure how to approach him. Buffy turns the door knob, it's unlocked. She opens the door and steps into the room making sure it's safe before she waves willow to follow. They both walk in and see him sleeping in the bed.
Buffy quarks an eyebrow with a bit of a confused look on her face as she looks at him, "that can't be him" "Of course it is Buffy, look how he's sleeping" Willow replies.
"Yeah but he's got abs, Xander never had abs, or a tattoo, or his hair died blue." Says Buffy not wanting to believe that this is Xander.
"Well buff I guess people change." Says willow
Xander growls slightly in his sleep
They both back up.
Willow says, "He sounds like a puppy" smiles slightly
He rolls over onto his stomach, still asleep.
Buffy notices the five scars going across his back, "bet ya that hurt"
He rolls back over, now awake, "no of course not it tickled." He says extremely sarcastically.
Willow and Buffy step back.
Xander gets up off of the bed and puts on his shirt "don't you know its rude to watch somebody when they're sleeping, I mean honestly"
Buffy replies, "Well don't you know it's rude to bite someone and just leave them there to die"
Xander, "She had it coming, she shouldn't have been walking down a dark alley at night to begin with plus she was dead when I left her so technically I didn't leave her there to die" grins slightly. "So is there a reason you guys are here besides that?"
Willow replies, "We want our friend back."
"Sorry ladies but that's not gonna happen, its almost funny really. You guys come here just hoping that I have a soul, that I'd be the same guy I was 5 years ago. Sorry to bust your bubble but I'm not and I never will be. People change Shit happens"
Buffy replies, "What the hell is your problem?! Why the hell are you so damn hostile? And why were you growling in your sleep?
"Oh I was dreaming I killed Brittney Spears and Christina Agulaura by snapping their necks then chopping up their skanky ass bodies."
Willow, "sounds like xander to me"
Xander, "Yeah but then I screwed them...before I chopped them up that it." Grins
"Guess that's not Xander." Says willow
Buffy, "Ew god I so did not need that visual."
Xander, "Speaking of visual god Buffy what the hell is up with your nose? Did your mommy hit you in the face with a door or something when you were little; I mean damn it's all flat and squarish.
Buffy puts her hand up to her face.
"Oh I'm sorry did I hurt your feelings. Oh how shall I ever go on?" Xander says overly dramatic obviously sarcastic.
Buffy runs out the door.
Xander grins
Willow give him a stern look then blurts out, "that was mean!"
"I try" he replies
Willow runs out of the motel room after Buffy.
Xander laughs to himself.
~*~*~*~*~
Buffy runs into spikes crypt with tears streaking down her face.
Spike rushes over to her "What's wrong love?"
"Xanders back" she replies
"What do you mean?" he says with a raised eyebrow
Buffy, "Xander he's not dead"
Spike, "Well then why are you crying pet?"
Buffy, "He's not exactly alive either"
Spike, "Oh"
Buffy, "Do you think my nose is weird?"
Spike, "Well is a little squarish...but in a good way...It's ok love lets go downstairs, daddy'll make it better"
And you all know what they do downstairs and don't act like you don't, cause I'm not going into it because, well...EW. Ok now back to the story
~*~*~*~*~
The next night
Xander is one again on the prowl for food
Spike walks out of the shadows, "Ah the little pansy boy returns"
Xander growls slightly "what do you want spike?"
Spike, "Ah so you are a vamp"
Xander, "And the medal for the person who states the obvious goes to....o0o this is a close one...SPIKE!"
Spike, "Still got jokes Harris"
Xander, "Eh it's what I do"
Spike, "What did you say to Buffy earlier?"
Xander, "I believe that that's between me her and willow"
Spike, "Well whatever you said it hurt her"
Xander Smiles, "nice"
Spike, "So what, now you're all bad ass because you're a vamp?"
Xander, "Well I'm sure as hell more bad ass then you are Mr. whipped anorexic Billy idol reject"
Spike, "I'm not whipped!"
Xander, "Yeah and I'm the president of the United States"
Spike, "Well if they can elect bush"
Xander, "Whip it" makes whipping noise "whip it good" he grins
Spike, "I'm NOT WHIPPED!"
Xander, "Yeah sure and you are out here tonight talking about me because?"
Spike growls and then punches Xander, Xander vamps out and hits spike with much harder force. Spike, now vamped out, Punched Xander again. Xander charges spike and rams him into a wall. And then kicks spikes feet out from under him and when spikes down Xander kicks him in the ribs.
"Who's the pansy now!" Xander turns around and starts to walk away and un-vamps.
Spike gets up and tackles Xander to the ground and they continue to brawl until buffy steps in and somewhat separates them. "Now boys play nice" she pushes them both apart.
Spike is standing by Buffy and Xander is standing in front of them ready to fight.
Xander wipes some blood from his nose and grins, "Oh the irony in this situation is just too funny. About 7 or 8 years ago I'd be the one standing behind Buffy and we'd both be fighting against Spike. Oh how times have changed"
Buffy, "Xander I don't want to have to kill you."
"Oh you will" he grins and starts to walk away
"What the hell was that supposed to mean? Said Buffy
"You'll figure out sooner or later" Xander says as he continues to walk away "Just remember 'Crack'"
*****
the next day
Buffy and willow are sitting in Buffy's living room.
"Did he really say that Buffy?" willow says
Buffy, "Yeah it's like he had done something that we know about and yet we don't know." Sort of stares off into space then has a flashback to when she found her sisters body, her jaw drops.
Willow, "What's wrong Buffy?"
Buffy, "That sick bastard" she gets up and grabs her stake
Willow, "What are you talking about?"
Buffy, "He's the one that killed dawn."
Willow was flabbergasted, and it clearly showed on her face.
Buffy, "Will, you think you could do the spell to get his soul back?"
Willow, "Yeah"
Buffy, "That's the only way we're getting our Xander back"
Willow, "I'll have to get some materials first"
Buffy, "Well get them, I don't want to have to do something that I'll regret"
*****
Later that night
Spike is walking around pretty much looking for Xander, he hates seeing Buffy so hurt almost as much as he hates Xander. No matter how much he hates Xander and how much he wishes Xander would just vanish off of the face of the earth and stay vanished, he has to find him because of Buffy.
~*~*~*~*~
Xander is walking down the street and well looking for a meal, he hasn't had anyone since the first run in with Buffy, and he's kind of pissed about it.
Spike spots him and grabs him by the shoulder and turns him around.
Xander says in a sharp tone, "what the hell do you want now?!"
Spike, "you're coming with me" he says as he tugs at his arm
Xander replies, "uh no I'm not" he rips his arm away from spike
Spike, "Yes you are!" grabs a hold of Xanders arm once again.
Xander, "oh I know what this is about, Buffy finally figured it out, didn't she?" grins sadistically
Spike, "yes and you're lucky I don't kill you right here."
Xander, "Well no matter what you do to me, it'll never bring her back now will it?"
Spike grabs a hold of Xander by his leather jacket and shirt and slams him against a brick wall.
Xander, "Is that all you got? Damn you're more of a pansy then I was back when I was human"
Spike punches Xander in the face.
Xander, "Gee spike what are you trying to do prove your man hood by hitting me, oh yeah that's proving your point" he says sarcastically.
Spike, "I don't have to prove anything, you're the one making up for your lack of manhood"
Xander, "Man I walked right into that one didn't I?"
Spike, "yeah ya did"
Xander shrugs, "oh well"
Spike, "Hey can we make with the fighting now?"
Xander, "man that sounds like something I would have said"
Spike, "what the hell are you talking about?"
Xander, "what you just said, 'lets make with the fighting' that's something I would have said."
Spike punches Xander
Xander punches spike back, "kind of funny really, almost like we switched roles, except well I'm not a slayer obsessed vampire that's desperate for sex from Buffy." Starts to walk away again.
Spike, "you sick bastard!"
Xander stops and turns around abruptly "I'm a sick bastard? Who's the one that used to ram railroad spikes through their victims skulls, who's the one that made the buffy-bot have sex with them? You did spike, now I ain't gonna lie to you of course I enjoy the inflicting of pain onto others and sure I killed both of my parents and dawn but hey they deserved it. Sure I'm sick mentally but not as sick as you. So now if you don't mind I'm going to leave now and maybe go bite and kill some people cause I'm kinda hungry" he turns back around and starts to walk away
Spike picks up part of a brick and lofts it at Xander. The brick smacks Xander in the back of the head, knocking him out. "that shut him up" spike drags Xander to the newly built magic box where Buffy and willow were to do the spell to restore Xanders soul
*****
About 30 minutes later Xander wakes up tied to a chair with willow and Buffy watching him, spike is leaning against the counter smoking a cigarette.
Xander realizes that spike hit him from behind, "oh real nice Thumb tack you couldn't knock me out from the front so ya wait till I had my back turned"
Spike, "well it got the job done yap once"
Xander looks around and sees the ingredients for the spell, "ah so you're gonna try and restore my soul"
Buffy, "yeah what about it"
Xander, "well I can tell you one thing, that if you restore my soul I'll kill myself and if you don't you'll have to kill me so either way you lose."
Buffy, "no either way you lose."
Xander, "whatever Buffy, I really don't care; either way I'm dust in the wind"
Willow thinks to herself: why the hell is everyone using the word either?
Buffy's eyes begin to tear up as she hears those words come from his mouth.
Xander, "oh save your tears, you know that when you cry it emphasizes your square ass nose plus you make that ugly ass crying face"
Spike walks over to Xander and punches him in the face "shut up Harris"
Xander, "oh sure punch the tied up guy so Buffy what are you going to do the restoration of my soul and risk me killing myself and willow going over the deep end with magic or just get it over with and just stake me"
Buffy grabs a stake and clutched it tightly in her hand so tight that the circulation is cut off to her fingers and almost to the point of breaking the stake into splinters but doesn't.
Suddenly a man walks in with a piece of cheese on his forehead and says, "I wear the cheese the cheese does not wear me"
They all look at him then Buffy turns back at the sorry excuse for a vampire, Xander and rams the stake through his heart, he explodes into dust.
~*~*~*~*~
Xander wakes up suddenly sitting up in his bed covered with a cold sweat. He's breathing heavily, Anya wakes up next to him.
Anya, "Xander are you ok?"
He looks over to her and sighs in relief, it was all a dream. "yeah I'm fine" he runs his hands through his hair then gets up and walks into the bathroom of the apartment and washes off his face with cold water then, leaning on the sink with his hands he looks into the mirror and jumps, slightly shocked, "when did I dye my hair blue?"
THE END
"Polar opposites"
By: Christina Snyder
Symbols: ~*~*~*~*~ -meanwhile ***** -later ^^^^^^^^ -happening as the last part happened
It's been 5 years since the night of the vampire massacre and since the night Xander disappeared. All they found was his silver necklace in a pool of his own blood which was broken in a manner that could have only been broken if it were ripped from his neck.
*******
Willow is sitting in her room looking through an old scrap book from back when she was in high school. She can't help but get misty eyed as she looks at the pictures of times past. Pictures of Oz, Cordellia, Buffy, herself, Giles, Dawn, and Xander. And some old pictures from back in middle school of her, Jesse, and Xander. Tears begin to streak down her cheeks as she thinks of everything that has happened since those innocent days of her childhood. Jesse got turned and then staked, Oz and Cordellia have been long gone, Tara's death which was about 6 years ago, Giles had went back to England 3 years ago. The morning after the vampire massacre Dawns cold limp body was found lifeless, drained of its blood and its neck snapped, then with Xander's disappearance. As she continued to look through the scrap book she plays with a silver necklace around her neck, the necklace was Xanders.
~*~*~*~*~
As the clock stroke 11 Buffy walked through the graveyard, tombstones in every direction. She walks up to her mother's grave, Dawns grave next to it. She sighs slightly, holding back tears. Everything has been so screwed up. With her mothers death, herself getting ripped out of heaven by her friends, Tara getting shot, willow going evil but then brought back by Xander, then with the vampire massacre she lost her best friend and her sister. The only things she really has left are Willow, Spike, and her slaying. Spike and Buffy have been seeing each other now for about 2 years.
Spike walks up behind Buffy and puts his hands on her waist.
Buffy doesn't respond to him she just stares at the 2 tombstones in front of her. So much pain and heartache felt inside of her.
~*~*~*~*~
A dark shadowy figure is walking down a dark dingy alley. He's wearing baggy black leather pants, black combat boots, a white wife beater, and a black leather jacket. His short dark brown hair is spiked and the tips are died blue. He has a scar on his forehead and another from his right ear to his chin. He has an evil smirk on his face, as he walks an intense hunger develops in the pit of his stomach and soon overcomes him. He continues to walk in search for a quick meal. His smirk becomes more of a grin as he sees a young girl towards the end of the alley.
~*~*~*~*~
Buffy kisses spike goodnight and walks out of the graveyard and starts to head home.
~*~*~*~*~
Willow gets up off of the bed and walks downstairs and grabs her jacket and walks outside to find Buffy. She pulls her jacket tightly around her and sighs, the necklace shimmering in the moonlight.
~*~*~*~*~
The shadowy figure walks up behind the young girl and says, "Now what's a pretty girl like you doing out so late?"
The girl replies, "Why do you care?"
"I just wouldn't want to see a beautiful girl like you get hurt, I mean it can be dangerous out here at night." He says
The girl says, "ooo I'm scared the boogie man's gonna get me"
"Oh im sorry I must have not introduced myself, I'm not the boogie man, I'm just something that goes Grr in the night."
The girl stopped walking and as she turned around to question him, the man vamps out and sinks his sharp pointy fangs deep into her neck. The girl shrieks with terror screaming at the top of her lungs but those screams slowly turn into gurgles then stop completely.
^^^^^^^^
Willow spots Buffy and walks up to her, "hey"
Buffy replies, "hey will"
Suddenly a blood curdling scream fills the air but it slowly stops. Buffy and Willow run to the alley where they hear the scream come from. As they arrive in the alley they see a dark figure drop a limp body to the ground. The figure was obviously a vamp.
Buffy quickly pulled out her stake ready for a fight, "god when I think my jobs done for the night and I can clock out something like that happens."
The figure takes a step forward, "uh did you just refer to me as a that?"
Buffy replies, "No I just referred to what you just did as that." She thinks to herself: god his voice sounds familiar
"Oh ok just making sure. So are we gonna fight or are we just gonna stand her gossiping all night cause hey I got places to go people to bite. Well I don't have any certain places to go but I do have people to bite, ok not any particular people to bite mainly just ones that happen to be there when I'm hungry but hey that's besides the point" he says
Buffy looks at Willow then back to the vampire. "You know for a vamp you sure do ramble a lot"
He shrugs, "eh old habits die hard," he un-vamps but his face is still cloaked by darkness.
Buffy rolls her eyes, "wow I've only had a couple of vamps un-vamp to fight me."
"Well I guess I'm one of the special few"
"Yeah and one to get a stake rammed through your heart"
"Hah you're funny." He replies with a slight chuckle
"Yeah it'll especially be funny when you explode into dust" she says as she looks over to willow
Willows face was pail with a look of confusion and bewilderment.
"Will what's wrong?" Buffy says with a look of concern
In a small crackly voice she replies, "Xander"
Buffy looks at her confused then it hits her, the voice, the rambling, the vampire was Xander.
Hearing his name said his grin quickly fades, he says quickly, "buh bye now" as soon as he said it he quickly jumped a fence and darted down another alley.
Willow and Buffy just stood there not sure what to do.
*****
Xander walks into an empty motel room as he sensed the sunrise quickly approaching. He takes off his black leather jacket and tosses it across a table, his arms back and chest a muscular then before. He has a scar running from his right elbow to his right shoulder blade, as he takes off his wife beater 5 scars going down his back become visible, they look like they could be from someone's fingernails. He lays across the bed on his back and slowly falls asleep.
~*~*~*~*~
Willow is sitting at the kitchen table with a worried look on her face, "Buffy what should we do?"
Buffy, pacing back and forth, "I honestly have no idea, but it couldn't have been him...could it?"
"There's only one way to know for sure." Willow says
"What's that will?" Buffy asks
"Well since we saw him tonight I'm pretty sure he couldn't have made it out of town yet, if he even intends to. So we can do a locator spell and if he shows up then we know it's him and maybe we could confront him or something."
"Well its worth a shot"
They gather the materials for the spell and set it up, willow lights 5 candles which are at each of the points of the pegan star, and takes off the necklace and places it in the center and begins the spell, a flash of light fills the room then the candles go out and the room goes dark. Buffy turns on a light "did it work?"
Willow picks up the necklace from the floor and puts it back on and smiles faintly "he's at the Sunnydale motel"
"I guess our old friend isn't one for crypts"
"Well he never was one for cemeteries to begin with."
*****
Xander is lying across the bed with his arm draped over his eyes; on that wrist is a blue and white flame tattoo. He's growling slightly while he's dreaming.
~*~*~*~*~
Buffy and willow find the motel and the room, they stand anxiously at the door, not sure how to approach him. Buffy turns the door knob, it's unlocked. She opens the door and steps into the room making sure it's safe before she waves willow to follow. They both walk in and see him sleeping in the bed.
Buffy quarks an eyebrow with a bit of a confused look on her face as she looks at him, "that can't be him" "Of course it is Buffy, look how he's sleeping" Willow replies.
"Yeah but he's got abs, Xander never had abs, or a tattoo, or his hair died blue." Says Buffy not wanting to believe that this is Xander.
"Well buff I guess people change." Says willow
Xander growls slightly in his sleep
They both back up.
Willow says, "He sounds like a puppy" smiles slightly
He rolls over onto his stomach, still asleep.
Buffy notices the five scars going across his back, "bet ya that hurt"
He rolls back over, now awake, "no of course not it tickled." He says extremely sarcastically.
Willow and Buffy step back.
Xander gets up off of the bed and puts on his shirt "don't you know its rude to watch somebody when they're sleeping, I mean honestly"
Buffy replies, "Well don't you know it's rude to bite someone and just leave them there to die"
Xander, "She had it coming, she shouldn't have been walking down a dark alley at night to begin with plus she was dead when I left her so technically I didn't leave her there to die" grins slightly. "So is there a reason you guys are here besides that?"
Willow replies, "We want our friend back."
"Sorry ladies but that's not gonna happen, its almost funny really. You guys come here just hoping that I have a soul, that I'd be the same guy I was 5 years ago. Sorry to bust your bubble but I'm not and I never will be. People change Shit happens"
Buffy replies, "What the hell is your problem?! Why the hell are you so damn hostile? And why were you growling in your sleep?
"Oh I was dreaming I killed Brittney Spears and Christina Agulaura by snapping their necks then chopping up their skanky ass bodies."
Willow, "sounds like xander to me"
Xander, "Yeah but then I screwed them...before I chopped them up that it." Grins
"Guess that's not Xander." Says willow
Buffy, "Ew god I so did not need that visual."
Xander, "Speaking of visual god Buffy what the hell is up with your nose? Did your mommy hit you in the face with a door or something when you were little; I mean damn it's all flat and squarish.
Buffy puts her hand up to her face.
"Oh I'm sorry did I hurt your feelings. Oh how shall I ever go on?" Xander says overly dramatic obviously sarcastic.
Buffy runs out the door.
Xander grins
Willow give him a stern look then blurts out, "that was mean!"
"I try" he replies
Willow runs out of the motel room after Buffy.
Xander laughs to himself.
~*~*~*~*~
Buffy runs into spikes crypt with tears streaking down her face.
Spike rushes over to her "What's wrong love?"
"Xanders back" she replies
"What do you mean?" he says with a raised eyebrow
Buffy, "Xander he's not dead"
Spike, "Well then why are you crying pet?"
Buffy, "He's not exactly alive either"
Spike, "Oh"
Buffy, "Do you think my nose is weird?"
Spike, "Well is a little squarish...but in a good way...It's ok love lets go downstairs, daddy'll make it better"
And you all know what they do downstairs and don't act like you don't, cause I'm not going into it because, well...EW. Ok now back to the story
~*~*~*~*~
The next night
Xander is one again on the prowl for food
Spike walks out of the shadows, "Ah the little pansy boy returns"
Xander growls slightly "what do you want spike?"
Spike, "Ah so you are a vamp"
Xander, "And the medal for the person who states the obvious goes to....o0o this is a close one...SPIKE!"
Spike, "Still got jokes Harris"
Xander, "Eh it's what I do"
Spike, "What did you say to Buffy earlier?"
Xander, "I believe that that's between me her and willow"
Spike, "Well whatever you said it hurt her"
Xander Smiles, "nice"
Spike, "So what, now you're all bad ass because you're a vamp?"
Xander, "Well I'm sure as hell more bad ass then you are Mr. whipped anorexic Billy idol reject"
Spike, "I'm not whipped!"
Xander, "Yeah and I'm the president of the United States"
Spike, "Well if they can elect bush"
Xander, "Whip it" makes whipping noise "whip it good" he grins
Spike, "I'm NOT WHIPPED!"
Xander, "Yeah sure and you are out here tonight talking about me because?"
Spike growls and then punches Xander, Xander vamps out and hits spike with much harder force. Spike, now vamped out, Punched Xander again. Xander charges spike and rams him into a wall. And then kicks spikes feet out from under him and when spikes down Xander kicks him in the ribs.
"Who's the pansy now!" Xander turns around and starts to walk away and un-vamps.
Spike gets up and tackles Xander to the ground and they continue to brawl until buffy steps in and somewhat separates them. "Now boys play nice" she pushes them both apart.
Spike is standing by Buffy and Xander is standing in front of them ready to fight.
Xander wipes some blood from his nose and grins, "Oh the irony in this situation is just too funny. About 7 or 8 years ago I'd be the one standing behind Buffy and we'd both be fighting against Spike. Oh how times have changed"
Buffy, "Xander I don't want to have to kill you."
"Oh you will" he grins and starts to walk away
"What the hell was that supposed to mean? Said Buffy
"You'll figure out sooner or later" Xander says as he continues to walk away "Just remember 'Crack'"
*****
the next day
Buffy and willow are sitting in Buffy's living room.
"Did he really say that Buffy?" willow says
Buffy, "Yeah it's like he had done something that we know about and yet we don't know." Sort of stares off into space then has a flashback to when she found her sisters body, her jaw drops.
Willow, "What's wrong Buffy?"
Buffy, "That sick bastard" she gets up and grabs her stake
Willow, "What are you talking about?"
Buffy, "He's the one that killed dawn."
Willow was flabbergasted, and it clearly showed on her face.
Buffy, "Will, you think you could do the spell to get his soul back?"
Willow, "Yeah"
Buffy, "That's the only way we're getting our Xander back"
Willow, "I'll have to get some materials first"
Buffy, "Well get them, I don't want to have to do something that I'll regret"
*****
Later that night
Spike is walking around pretty much looking for Xander, he hates seeing Buffy so hurt almost as much as he hates Xander. No matter how much he hates Xander and how much he wishes Xander would just vanish off of the face of the earth and stay vanished, he has to find him because of Buffy.
~*~*~*~*~
Xander is walking down the street and well looking for a meal, he hasn't had anyone since the first run in with Buffy, and he's kind of pissed about it.
Spike spots him and grabs him by the shoulder and turns him around.
Xander says in a sharp tone, "what the hell do you want now?!"
Spike, "you're coming with me" he says as he tugs at his arm
Xander replies, "uh no I'm not" he rips his arm away from spike
Spike, "Yes you are!" grabs a hold of Xanders arm once again.
Xander, "oh I know what this is about, Buffy finally figured it out, didn't she?" grins sadistically
Spike, "yes and you're lucky I don't kill you right here."
Xander, "Well no matter what you do to me, it'll never bring her back now will it?"
Spike grabs a hold of Xander by his leather jacket and shirt and slams him against a brick wall.
Xander, "Is that all you got? Damn you're more of a pansy then I was back when I was human"
Spike punches Xander in the face.
Xander, "Gee spike what are you trying to do prove your man hood by hitting me, oh yeah that's proving your point" he says sarcastically.
Spike, "I don't have to prove anything, you're the one making up for your lack of manhood"
Xander, "Man I walked right into that one didn't I?"
Spike, "yeah ya did"
Xander shrugs, "oh well"
Spike, "Hey can we make with the fighting now?"
Xander, "man that sounds like something I would have said"
Spike, "what the hell are you talking about?"
Xander, "what you just said, 'lets make with the fighting' that's something I would have said."
Spike punches Xander
Xander punches spike back, "kind of funny really, almost like we switched roles, except well I'm not a slayer obsessed vampire that's desperate for sex from Buffy." Starts to walk away again.
Spike, "you sick bastard!"
Xander stops and turns around abruptly "I'm a sick bastard? Who's the one that used to ram railroad spikes through their victims skulls, who's the one that made the buffy-bot have sex with them? You did spike, now I ain't gonna lie to you of course I enjoy the inflicting of pain onto others and sure I killed both of my parents and dawn but hey they deserved it. Sure I'm sick mentally but not as sick as you. So now if you don't mind I'm going to leave now and maybe go bite and kill some people cause I'm kinda hungry" he turns back around and starts to walk away
Spike picks up part of a brick and lofts it at Xander. The brick smacks Xander in the back of the head, knocking him out. "that shut him up" spike drags Xander to the newly built magic box where Buffy and willow were to do the spell to restore Xanders soul
*****
About 30 minutes later Xander wakes up tied to a chair with willow and Buffy watching him, spike is leaning against the counter smoking a cigarette.
Xander realizes that spike hit him from behind, "oh real nice Thumb tack you couldn't knock me out from the front so ya wait till I had my back turned"
Spike, "well it got the job done yap once"
Xander looks around and sees the ingredients for the spell, "ah so you're gonna try and restore my soul"
Buffy, "yeah what about it"
Xander, "well I can tell you one thing, that if you restore my soul I'll kill myself and if you don't you'll have to kill me so either way you lose."
Buffy, "no either way you lose."
Xander, "whatever Buffy, I really don't care; either way I'm dust in the wind"
Willow thinks to herself: why the hell is everyone using the word either?
Buffy's eyes begin to tear up as she hears those words come from his mouth.
Xander, "oh save your tears, you know that when you cry it emphasizes your square ass nose plus you make that ugly ass crying face"
Spike walks over to Xander and punches him in the face "shut up Harris"
Xander, "oh sure punch the tied up guy so Buffy what are you going to do the restoration of my soul and risk me killing myself and willow going over the deep end with magic or just get it over with and just stake me"
Buffy grabs a stake and clutched it tightly in her hand so tight that the circulation is cut off to her fingers and almost to the point of breaking the stake into splinters but doesn't.
Suddenly a man walks in with a piece of cheese on his forehead and says, "I wear the cheese the cheese does not wear me"
They all look at him then Buffy turns back at the sorry excuse for a vampire, Xander and rams the stake through his heart, he explodes into dust.
~*~*~*~*~
Xander wakes up suddenly sitting up in his bed covered with a cold sweat. He's breathing heavily, Anya wakes up next to him.
Anya, "Xander are you ok?"
He looks over to her and sighs in relief, it was all a dream. "yeah I'm fine" he runs his hands through his hair then gets up and walks into the bathroom of the apartment and washes off his face with cold water then, leaning on the sink with his hands he looks into the mirror and jumps, slightly shocked, "when did I dye my hair blue?"
THE END
