Weird things always happen at Southpark. You can never have one normal day, even just one. Whether it be aliens from outer space, or the fact that Kenny dies all the time, and comes back the next day, alive and well, nothing normal ever happens at Southpark. And today was not going to be an exception, since the weirdest thing was about to happen, and will change the lives of our four favorite boys, forever.

It was lunchtime at South Park high. All the students were in the cafeteria, hoping to grab a taco or a burrito before they all ran out. They only put those on the menu once a month, and it would be weird if you didn't snag a taco that day, considering the only other option you had was Mystery Meat.

Seventeen-year old Stan Marsh was one of the unlucky fellows who didn't manage to snag a taco. He groaned in disgust as the creepy lunch lady gave him a bowl of some unidentifiable brown glob. He looked around and took note that it was only him, and the geeks of the chess club who didn't get a taco or a burrito. He narrowed his eyes at them because of the fact they didn't seem to mind the food they were eating. Stan knew they were used to it, but they don't know what they were missing.

Scanning the room again with his bright blue eyes, he locked them on to the one person he wanted to see. Kyle Broflovski, his "super" best friend, as he calls him, was sitting beside their accident-prone friend, Kenny McCormick, both eating happily what were unmistakeably, tacos. Sliding in the seat across him, he eyed their food hungrily.

Kyle was able to catch on quick. "No more tacos, dude?"

Stan nodded solemnly. Kyle continued on. "Wow, that's a first."

Kenny nodded in agreement. "Yeah. Ususally, when this time of the month comes, Stan would be first in line. What's up?"

Stan sighed. "Mr. Garrison made me stay behind to discuss about my grades."

"Where are you failing?" Kyle asked, taking a huge bite of his taco.

"Geometry." Stan replied. "He told me that if I didn't bring my grade up by the end of the semester, I'd be saying adios to the football team. I need that scholarship, man!"

Kyle sipped his diet coke before replying. "If you'd like, I can tutor you, and you can have my cheese sandwhich. I didn't plan on eating it anyway."

Stan was about to reply when Eric Cartman, aka "The fat fuck" as Kyle calls him, suddenly appears beside Stan. "Hey fags." he said as a way of greeting, munching on a burrito.

"What do you want, fatass?" Kyle replied, sneering at their overweight friend/enemy.

"I just came to show this really cool thing I bought from this dude for only five bucks! He said I pour it into someone's drink, watch, then laugh my ass off!" Cartman said, a shit-eating grin on his face.

"Wow, really?" Kyle asked with mock surprise. "Good! Then maybe your big ass won't be in the way anymore! If I ever see that guy, I'll thank him!"

Cartman glared at the redhead. "Fucking Jew..." he mumbled under his breath. "Anyways, before I was so rudely interuppted, look at this!" he said, pulling out a small phial filled with pink liquid.

Stan raised an eyebrow. "What's that, your piss?"

Cartman turned his glare to Stan. "I don't fucking know, and No, it's not."

Kenny only seemed midly interested. "What does it do?"

"The hell should I know!" Cartman shouted at the blond. "I don't even know what the hell it is!"

Kyle decided he's had enough. "Well as delightful as this conversation is, I'd rather not listen to it." he said, grabbed his backpack, followed by Stan.

Kenny turned to the boy across him. That's when he spotted Kyle's unfinished can of Diet Coke. "Hey, Kyle left his coke behind....." he stopped short when he saw Cartman pouring the pink liquid in Kyle's drink. "Hey, woah, woah, what the fuck are you doing?"

Cartman had another shit-eating grin on his face, plainly ignoring Kenny, who was staring at Cartman, disbelief painting his features. After a few moments, he decided to just let Cartman be. There was no use talking to him when he's got his mind made up.

"Yo, McCormick, take this to the jew." Cartman suddenly ordered the smaller boy.

"Why don't you take it to him yourself?" Kenny asked, rather stupidly.

Cartman mock-sighed. "Because," he said slowly as if explaining to a nine year old Kenny McCormick, instead of a seventeen year old. "He trusts you. He knows you would never mess with his drink, ever. Imagine me coming up to him, handing him his drink? Don't you think he'd be suspicious?"

Kenny glared at his, if you could call it, friend. "The things I do for you." he muttered and left the cafeteria with Kyle's drink. Cartman waited a few minutes time interval before following Kenny out of the cafeteria, hoping to see what would happen to Kyle.


"Argh!" Kyle moaned as he slammed his locker door shut. "I hate that fat fuck! He always ruins my day!"

Stan looked at his friend with amusement. "Hey, at least you managed to snag a taco." he said, biting into the sandwhich Kyle had offered him.

Kyle glared at Stan. "Is that all you think about? Tacos?"

Stan shrugged. "Well, yeah. I'm still hungry."

"You are impossible." Kyle muttered in reply. He looked up to see Kenny walking towards them. "Hey, Ken."

"You forgot your drink, Kyle." Kenny muttered, handing Kyle the rather normal looking can of diet coke. Kyle smiled.

"Aw, thanks dude! I knew I was forgetting something!" Kyle said. He was about to take a drink when he stopped, and looked at Kenny suspiciously. "Cartman didn't do anything with my drink, did he?"

Kenny shook his head a negative, while trying to figure out ways to punch the living daylights out of Cartman if Kyle figures out he was in on this. The things he did for Cartman. "He tried to, but I grabbed it, and got the hell outta there."

Kyle smiled at the blond. "Thaks, Ken! I was so sure he did something to it." Kyle laughed and drank his coke.

That's when it happened.

Kyle suddenly lurched, and doubled over, coughing. He dropped the can onto the floor, causing a loud clang to echo in the empty hallways. Stan and Kenny watched helplessly as Kyle fell to his knees and lost all consciousness. Cartman came out of the shadows, looking at the three, before frowning.

"That's it? That's what it does?" he started. "Make the person lose all consciousness? What a fucking waste!"

Stan turned around. "You did this?"

Cartman shrugged. "Well, yeah."

"Fucking fat ass!!!" Stan then tackled Cartman to the ground. "What the fuck did you do to Kyle?" he shouted, punching Cartman square on the face.

Cartman punched back. "I...didn't...do...anything!!"

Kenny was not bothered by the fight, but was bothered by what was happening to Kyle. Kyle's Jewfro had grown longer, up to about his shoulders, and grew a bit shorter. "Guys...?" he started, addressing the two boys who were in a scuffle at the moment.

Stan ignored him and kicked Cartman on the stomach, causing Cartman to double over. "THE FUCK YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! YOU SURE AS HELL DID SOMETHING, YOU ASSHOLE!"

"THAT FUCKING JEW HAD IT COMING!" Cartman replied in between breaths.

"Guys...?" Kenny's tone had taken on a more panicked tone as he watched Kyle's chest grow into two mounds, and the mound on his groin disappear.

"AHA! SO YOU DO ADMIT THAT YOU DID IT!" Stan shouted at Cartman, who retaliated with an attempt on Stan's jaw, who dodged, and kicked Cartman in the groin. "YOU ARE A FUCKING PATHETIC WASTE OF SPACE!"

"GUYS!!!" Kenny shouted this time, when Kyle had stopped changing.

"WHAT?!!!" Both Stan and Cartman shouted, looking at Kenny with angry faces. They stopped momentarily when they saw the look on Kenny's face.

"WHY DON'T YOU TWO STOP FIGHTING LIKE A COUPLE OF FUCKING FIVE YEAR OLDS AND PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT HAPPENED TO KYLE!" Kenny screamed, causing both Stan and Cartman to look at Kyle's unconscious form on the floor. Stan did a jawdrop, as did Cartman.

Where Kyle had been moments before, lay a redheaded girl, wearing Kyle's clothes. She was not short, nor was she tall, probably around 5'7". She had a petite figure, and pale skin which contrasted well with her red hair. She had a faint sprinkle of freckles dotted on her cheeks. Her eyes were fluttered close, and Stan could make out the curl of the girl's eyelashes. Her lips were full and pouty, and her chin had a perfect angle to it.

In short, she was gorgeous.

Stan let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. Time came to a standstill as all three of them looked at the girl that was their friend, Kyle. Cartman wasn't laughing either. He was just looking at her, his eyes glazed over, and for once didn't make a scathing remark. Kenny just stood there, before dropping to his knees and lifted her up from the floor. He shifted her slightly in his arms, so that he was cradling her. Kenny turned to Stan. "Stan, grab his stuff. We're taking him to the nurses office."

"Are you insane? She's gonna ask us what happened and why this girl is wearing Kyle's clothes!" Stan replied. "I am not going to get in trouble for something Cartman did!"

"Who cares! You can think about your hide later. For now, let's help Kyle" Kenny replied. Stan nodded and picked up Kyle's belongings. Kenny then turned to Cartman who found the floor interesting. "You're coming too, Cartman."

"What? Why?" The boy in question asked.

Kenny narrowed his pale-blue eyes at Cartman. "Because you were the one who did this. If we're interrogated, you might have answers to some of the questions. Now come on before I kick your ass to the moon and back!"

Cartman followed grudgingly, stuffing his hands in his pockets, and muttered curse words at Kenny. He's never seen the boy act like this before, and he wasn't used to it.

Eric Cartman sighed. It was going to be a long day.