Disclaimer: Not mine, except Andy. Oh, and the plot is also mine.

Additional Disclaimer: No burly Quidditch men had their feelings hurt in the making of this fanfic.


Crack. The sound of something breaking woke Andromeda Carrins up at exactly four o' clock. This pissed her off for two reasons.

One, she would be getting up in approximately two hours, and she savored every extra moment of sleep.

Two, it was four o' clock in the bloody morning!

"Whoever is making that noise, had better shut up as quickly as possible," she yelled, burrowing deeper into her blankets.

"And if I don't?" Andy recognized the voice as Alicia Spinnet.

"Then I will be forced to hex you into oblivion."

"And risk the wrath of Wood for hexing his star players? I think not." This voice was Katie Bell. This confused Andy as Katie was a year younger and stayed in her own dorm.

Andy peeked out of her cave of blankets, and found Alicia, Katie, Angelina Johnson, and Rasputin sitting on Alicia's bed.

"Even your cat is against you, Andy," Katie said, "Face it, you're outnumbered."

Andy considered grousing for a bit longer, but the warmth of her bed seemed to have faded, so she threw off her blankets and stomped to the bathroom.

When she came back out, the four were still on Alicia's bed.

"What is so important that we had to wake up at four in the morning?" asked Andy, slumping down on Alicia's bed, and pushing her cat off. Rasputin mrowed angrily, but made no move to get back on the bed.

"Wood made us new handbooks," said Alicia, pointing absently at a leather book sitting on her end table.

"If it's so important that you have to be up at four, then why aren't you even reading it?" asked Andy. She hesitated for a moment before grabbing the book, wondering what possible new tortures Oliver Wood had managed to come up with,

Alicia huffed and gestured down at the paper that Katie was slowly writing something on.

"Don't be daft, Andy, we've already skimmed through it," said Angelina, interrupting Alicia. Alicia didn't seem to mind, though, as she was whispering something to Katie. Katie giggled and quickly wrote on the parchment.

"Ah," said Andy, "So we're writing a strongly worded letter to Wood? That I am up for."

"Good. Look through the book and tell us if there's anything worth criticizing in it," said Angelina, tapping the cover of the book with one finger, "We're nearly done with the letter, but another pair of eyes won't hurt."

Andy grunted her consent--in a very ladylike manner, I assure you--and began looking through the pages for something to mock Wood about.

It wasn't that she hated Wood--far from it, as they'd been best mates since her second year--but he was so incredibly serious about Quidditch that it was always exquisitely fun to ruffle his feathers.

When she found a passage that she particularly enjoyed she'd alert Katie, and Katie would write it down. Finally, after about a half an hour they'd gotten through the entire book and after a few revisions, were adequately pleased with the letter.

"All right, then," said Alicia, folding up the letter and placing it into an envelope. "Who is going to go to the owlery and send it off?"

Instead of just handing it to Wood, or placing it in his dormitory, the girls always mailed it because this assured that they could be as far away as possible when he received it.

"I volunteer Andy!" said Katie. Andy turned to her to glower, but before she could, Alicia was thrusting the letter into her hands and pushing her off the bed.

"Excuse me, but why do I always have to do this?" asked Andy.

"Because, you are least likely to be blasted away by Wood if he catches you," said Angelina.

"No, no, this is not true! Wood wouldn't blast any of his team members this close to a game," protested Andy.

"There's no accounting for Wood's actions when he's upset," said Angelina. Alicia nodded.

"But he's least likely to attack his seeker," she said, "Merlin knows how hard a good seeker is to find."

There was a pause. Then Andy sighed. "Is protesting going to help at all?"

"Nope!" said Katie. She stood up and shoved Andy towards the door, "Have fun!"

Andy muttered something suspiciously like, "I'm going to kill you all." but she walked down the stairs towards the common room.

She was just crossing across the room when she noticed a dark figure sitting in the chair closest to the fire. At first, Andy thought the person was asleep, but then she noticed fingers carefully drumming against the armrest of the chair.

Bollocks! Andy thought Well, perhaps he hasn't spotted me.

To test this theory, Andy made her way towards the Fat Lady, hoping to not alert the figure of her presence.

Unfortunately, as she was about to move her foot, the figure stood up, and crossed the room.

"Andy, what could possibly bring you to the common room this early?" asked Oliver. Andy winced at the sarcasm in his voice, and hastily shoved the letter into the back pocket of her jeans. Ever since Katie had introduced the marvelous pants to her the previous summer, she'd been wearing a pair nonstop.

"Hullo, Wood!" said Andy. She tried to force some cheerfulness into her voice, "Oh, you know, I just thought I'd, uh, go out for a walk."

"At four thirty?"

"Well, you know, I haven't been getting enough exercise lately," said Andy. One of Oliver's eyebrows rose.

"You have Quidditch practice every morning, and you aren't getting enough exercise?" asked Oliver.

"Yes, well, not everyone can be so easily fit, Wood," said Andy. She tried to huff, but by the height of Oliver's eyebrow, she doubted she did very well. "Now, if you'll excuse me?"

Andy walked towards the door, hoping she was scot-free. Then, she felt a hand on the back of her pants.

Andy quickly whirled around, desperately trying to grab the letter back from Oliver. Unfortunately, Oliver was taller, and he held it above his head, effectively keeping it from her.

"Oliver Wood! You just grabbed my bum! That is sexual harassment, and after you give me my...uh, my letter back, I'm going to report you to Dumbledore!"

"Are you now?" Oliver asked. He looked supremely amused, and Andy had the sudden urge to punch him in the face. She felt this might get her kicked off the Quidditch team, however, so she opted not to. "Well, if I'm going to get in trouble anyway, I might as well read this, don't you think?"

"Wood, really, there's no need to. I--if you give the letter back, I promise I won't tell Dumbledore that you touched me!" Andy was desperate now. She knew Oliver was in a good mood now, but his moods changed quicker than anyone's she'd ever met. Honestly, if she wasn't positive he was a boy, she'd have guessed that he was on the rag 24/7.

Holding the letter high above Andy's reach, Oliver carefully unsealed it. He handed the envelope to Andy, and unfolded the letter.

"Dear Wood--oi, what a surprise, it's for me--we, the females currently on your Quidditch team, are writing you to complain about the handbook that has recently been bestowed to us," read Oliver. He trailed off then, and read it silently.

Occasionally he'd read something aloud to Andy, "'We especially enjoy rule number seventy-two, where you limit any actions between team members to strictly off the field, seeing as you were clearly checking out Angelina's bum last week'--strange, I remember being curious as to why Angelina was wearing seeker's pants when she's so very clearly not the seeker. Could it be she was afraid I would make her do laps when I found out that she'd forgotten her own pants?"

Or "'There seems to be a bit of confusion on rule eighty-nine. You see, you've put that any comments that are not strictly helpful concerning another members playing are to be forbidden. Only, just the other day you told Andy that her seeking was utter shite, and that she needed at least two hours more practice that day' What a weird thing, Andy, seeing as, if I remember correctly, that was the day that you thought it would be funny to play upside down, and you fell off your broom at least four times. It's odd, wouldn't you agree?"

Andy thought herself lucky. Oliver seemed to be in a good enough mood that he might not punish them. Finally, he read the last line.

"'In conclusion, we are concerned that perhaps you've forgotten to abide by your own rules. In the future, perhaps you should be less of a dictator, and more of a captain. Love, Alicia, Angelina, Andy, and Katie'," said Oliver. There was silence for several minutes. Then Oliver looked up at Andy, "Well, by my calculations, there are at least eight lines here that blatantly call me a bad captain, and several that allude to me being some kind of sexual fiend. Although the latter is not strictly against the rules, I believe I'll count it. So, that'd be...thirty-laps, four killers, and..oh! calling me a dictator is against the rules, too. All right, then, thirty laps, four killers, and each of you is going to spend an hour of the next Hogsmeade weekend practicing."

Andy stared at Oliver. She was sure she looked like an idiot, standing there with her mouth hanging wide open, but at the moment she didn't really care. Laps were bad, killers were even worse, but cutting into their Hogsmeade time? That...that was pure evil!

"Wood, you can't be serious!"

"Every one of you will be doing thirty-two laps and four killers, and you will each spend an hour of Hogsmeade time practicing with me," said Oliver. He had a pleasant smile on his face. "Unless one of you wishes to quit the team. Then, you would be free from any punishment. Do any of you?"

Andy gritted her teeth. "You know we don't."

Oliver smiled. "Good, then I look forward to seeing you all at practice. You'll be coming earlier...I'd say you should be getting to the pitch at about six."

At that, Oliver handed the letter back to Andy, and began making his way back to his dorm.

"Some kind of friend you are!" Andy cried. Oliver turned around. There was a thoughtful look on his face.

"If I'm a bad friend, then what does that make you, Andy? You're the one who wrote a letter explaining all of my faults."

Andy blanched. She hadn't ever actually thought of it that way. "Sorry, Oliver."

At this, Oliver grinned at her. "And that's why you'll never, ever be a good captain. You care too much about other people's feelings. G'night."

Andy made her way back up to the dorm room, letter in hand. She had the urgent feeling that something important had just happened, but she couldn't figure out what.

When she reached the door, Andy stopped. When she got inside, she'd have to tell the girls about their punishment. They wouldn't be happy.

Andy fidgeted a bit longer. Then, with a sigh, she turned the door handle, and opened up the door.


Author's Note: Sooo, how is it? Reviews are much appreciated! Do you like Andy? Is something off? Any fun quotes, or very un-fun quotes? Anything. Really.