Disclaimer: I own most of the people in this chapter.
Chapter One: March of the Idiots
A boy about 15 sat on the edge of a tall building watching the cars go by.
He was enjoying the first day of summer. No evil teachers, no homework, and
definitely no school. He was free. Free as a bird! He could jump off the
building right now and fly away but he knew better. Suddenly a scream was
heard. He looked up in the sky and saw a little black dot falling to earth.
He sprang up suddenly and held out his arms. The thing, whatever it was,
finally came into view but he didn't have time to see it for it was on top
of him already.
Kurama: @_@ Ow...
Kohana: *girl about 12 years old with brown hair and brown eyes. Has red-
brownish ears and tail and is wearing a navy blue gi and tan hakama.* I
MADE IT! LET THIS BE THE DAY THAT THE FIRST YOUKAI FELL FROM THE SKY AND
LIVED!
Kurama: *rubbing head.* Miss...are you alright?
Kohana: Of course I'm all right! I'm indestructible! That's spelled in-
destructible! *ponders.* But am I flammable?
Voice heard from bottom of building: Hey Kohana! KOHANA! DID YOU DIE?!
Kohana: *cups hands to mouth.* NO TAJI! COME ON UP!
Voice: OKELLY DOKELLY!
Taji: *girl also 12 with blonde/silver hair and blue eyes. Has silver ears
and tail and is wearing a green gi with a tan hakama.* *head pokes over the
top of the building.* Yippee! You made it! *runs over to Kohana.*
Kohana: Yup! ^_^ And look who I landed on! Mr. Red Head!
Both: ^_^ YAY!
Kurama: *looks puzzled.* Is there something I missed?
Both: ^_ ^ No!
Hiei: *appears.* Kurama, Koenma has a new case and....*looks at the two
girls.* Who are they.
Kurama: They're---
Kohana: *sings.*
Official Youkai Greeting Song
I am a youkai!
A fox demon youkai!
With ears and a tail that goes swish swish!
And as a youkai!
A fox demon youkai!
I will greet you with this song!
TTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHIIIIIISSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSOOOOONNNNNNGGGGG!
Taji: KOHANA NO BAKA! *hits Kohana with a bokken that magically appeared in
her hand.*
Kohana: That didn't hurt! Yes it did...*disintegrates then reappears
magically at Taji's side.*
Kurama: 0.0
Hiei: Hn.
Taji: Oooooooo! I like that! Say it again!
Hiei: Baka.
Taji: BAKA! ^_^
Kohana: AHOU! ^_^
Cloud: *randomly passes by.* You guys are crazy.
Taji: *twitches and foams by the mouth. Leaps up and eats the cloud in one
bite.*
Kohana: *whispers to Kurama.* Don't worry. She usually does that after five
o'clock shadow.
Kurama: But that doesn't make any bloody sense!
Kohana: How *dare* you take the tone with me! Bad boy! Have a muffin!
*stuffs blueberry muffin in Kurama's mouth.*
Kurama: Mufhhh! 0.0''
Hiei: *slowly backs away.*
Taji: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUU! YOU'ER NOT GETTING AWAY THAT EASILY! *tackles Hiei to the ground.*
Hiei: DRAGON OF THE DARKNESS FLAME!
Taji: *burnt to a crisp.* Ooooo! Do it again! Again!
Hiei: O.O But...but...
Kohana: *riding on Kurama's back.* See I told you! We're indestructible!
Kurama: *nodding.* Yes you are! ^_^
Hiei: Kurama, You haven't gone suddenly soft for these idiots?
Kurama: Well as I always say, if you can't beat them join them!
Hiei: -_- You never said that.
Kurama: I know! ^_^
Taji: *creeps up behind Hiei and quickly puts a spiked collar around his
neck.* I shall call you fluffy and you call be mine! And you shall be my
fluffy!
Kohana: Yup! We own you guys now!
Hiei: No! Let me go you baka! *tugs at leash but instead gets electrically
shocked.*
Taji: *grins.* I knew you'd try to get away. When ever you tug, pull, or
try to get it off it'll shock you! You can never get away. Never.
Hiei: *glares.*
Kurama&Kohana: WHHHHHHEEEEEEEEE! ^_^ *jump off the building and land on a
big giant rose that suddenly appeared.*
Taji: *drags Hiei over to the giant rose and sits upon it.*
Kohana: Welcome to the Magical Rose Express! What is your destination?
Taji: 12434627691347626439 Nonexistent St.
Kurama: Good choice! Please keep your claws, ears, and tails inside the
vehicle at all times. Here we go! *rose magically flies up into the air at
a slow pace. After a half and hour or so a huge house comes into view. The
house is so big it takes up the whole neighborhood. It is all sorts of
colors and very abnormal. Swirly lines and curves go up and down the house
like a child's first drawing. A yellow chimney juts out from the side of
the house, purple ducks coming out of it. The yard is as big as the house
itself with wide-open fields and fences around them. There are also a few
stables that contain horses in them. Kurama and Hiei look at the house wide
eyed with shock.*
Kohana: Welcome home! ^_^
Taji: *takes collar off Hiei.* The good o'l open range!
Hiei: Hn.
Kurama: Coming in for a landing! *Rose crashes through the wall of the
house making a huge hole.* Oops!
Kohana: It's okay! We have people to fill in holes for us. *cups hands to
her mouth.* YAMI!
Yami Kohana: *appears in a puff of purple smoke.* What?
Kohana: Fill in the hole in the wall! Now!
Yami K: You know if I weren't around you'd be in big trouble.
Kohana: I know. Just do it!
Yami K: Whatever. *takes an elephant out of thin air and stuffs it through
the hole.* Done. *walks away.*
Taji: Okay, now there's a few things you need to know about our house.
First, most of our house is alive so don't upset it or it will eat you.
Second, we have a Man-Eater Bug in the garage so if you decide to take out
the garbage it may be your last time. Thirdly, DON'T EVER; EVER WALK INTO
THE TORTURE CHAMBER! Any questions?
Hiei: *raises hand.*
Taji: Yes Hiei?
Hiei: I would just like to make it clear that you guys are insane.
Kohana: Okay! Any other questions?
Kurama&Hiei:...
Taji: Good. Now into the candy house...*laughs insanely.*
All: *walk into the house onto a station platform. Suddenly a tram appears.
The conductor sticks his head out the window and grins evilly at all of
them.*
Yami Bakura: Welcome to The Doom Express Tram! DOOM! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *clears throat.* Come aboard foolish
mortals and you shall experience doom as you never have experienced before!
DOOM! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *thunder and lightning in
background.*
Kohana: Well we'll leave you hear for now. We need to go pick out your
rooms, ne?
Taji: Don't worry. He's harmless.
Kohana&Taji: *jump into a black vortex that just suddenly appeared and
vanish.*
Hiei: *eyes the tram.* We're supposed to go in there.
Kurama: Is there a choice?
Both: *walk on the tram cautiously.*
Yami Bakura: Hold on! *doors shut loudly as tram starts speeding up. Hiei
and Kurama are forced to sit down, grasping the railing.*
Hiei: Idiot. Doesn't he know it's dangerous to go this fast?
Kurama: *sweatdrops.* Apparently not.
Yami Bakura: DOOM! DOOM! DDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *tram screeches to a halt.*
Hiei&Kurama: @.@
Yami Bakura: You may now exit The Doom Express Tram through the sliding
doors to your right! Please have a doom filled day! DOOM! DOOOOOOOOM!
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Hiei&Kurama: *both walk out of the tram rubbing their heads, cursing
silently to themselves.*
Soujiro: *loudly.* Hello! Welcome to the house tour! Soujiro and I will be
your tour guides this evening! Please feel free to ask any questions on the
way! Right Soujiro-san? That's right Soujiro-san! You're so smart! I know!
^_^
Kurama: 0.0
Hiei: Hn.
Soujiro: Okay then! Follow ussssssssssssssssssssss! *starts skipping,
leaping, and turning around while saying things like, toddlepip and jolly
good old chap! He then stops at a little room, bubbles coming out of the
entrance.* Now our first stop is the laundry room! Soujiro-san please give
them the details! Of course I will Soujiro-san! This is the place where you
wash your clothes! Just look inside and see for yourself!
*~Inside The Laundry Room~*
Kenshin: *talking to the soap bubbles.* Don't tell Kaoru but you guys are
by best friends.....I mean you're so shiny! *reaches out to touch a bubble
but pops it by mistake.* NO GEORGE! I KILLED YOU! WHY!
WWWWWWHHHHHYYYYYYYYYY! *sits down and sobs.*
Kurama: Soap.....bubbles....? o.0
Hiei: Hn. Baka.
Soujiro: Let's move on shall we! Yes we shall! *skips to the next room.*
This is the arts and crafts room! It's where you can draw, paint, and make
clay sculptures! Let's take a look inside!
*~Inside Art and Crafts Room~*
Sanosuke: Hey look guys! I finally finished my ear wax replica of Saitou!
Aoshi: Impressive but it's not as good as my 'I am way better then the
Battosai in every single way' collage! What'd you make Saitou!
Saitou: I made a heart, with my own heart.
Sano&Aoshi: 0.0
Saitou: *falls over and dies.*
Soujiro: *laughs nervously.* Let's move on..... *walks to the next
hallway.* Down there you'll find the meditating room, the living room, and,
our favorite, the sparring room. *walks to another hallway.* And down there
you'll find the kitchen, the computer lab, the music room, and a swimming
pool! ^_^ All the other rooms are either bedrooms, torture chambers, or
rooms Taji and Kohana just haven't discovered yet. We will now leave you
here! Bye bye! Farewell! *waves with both hands then gracefully skips down
the hall.*
Kurama: *looks around with awe.* This place is huge!
Hiei: Hn.
Kurama: Will you say something different for once!
Hiei: Baka.
Kurama: -_-' I rest my case.
Kohana: *runs over to Kurama.* Here you guys are! We've been looking for
you every where!
Taji: Yeah! Your rooms are---
Kohana: *sings.* ---C is for cookie! And cookie's just for me!
Taji: SHUT-UP! *hits her on the head.*
Kohana: @.@ Okay...shutting-up....
Taji: As I was saying...*glares angrily at Kohana.*....your rooms are
ready! It's almost dinnertime and I'm cooking! ^_^ So go get washed up!
*walks away happily to the kitchen.*
Kohana: *shakes her head worriedly.* Oh no....
Hiei: What?
Kurama: Yeah what is it?
Kohana: Well, last time when she made toast, she burnt the whole house
down. She hasn't cooked since then.
Kurama: Um....that's interesting.
Hiei: She's gonna bake us alive. Baka ahou.
Kohana: There's only one thing we can do....we must find the meatloaf!
Hiei: ...meatloaf...
Kurama: Why...a meatloaf....?
Kohana: It's the centerpiece of everyone's lives! It will show us the way!
Come on! *drags Hiei and Kurama down the hall as heroic music plays.*
Kenshin: *cupping his hands as if he was holding something in it.* GEORGE!
NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE! DON'T WORRY PAL! I'LL TRY
EVRY WAY TO REVIVE YOU! OH GEORGE! *runs down the hallway sobbing.*
Will Kohana ever find the meatloaf? Is Taji going to burn down the house?
And is poor George ever coming back? Who knows? Tune in next time for
chapter two!
To Be Continued!
Kohana: Poor George! *sniff.* He was a good soap bubble. *has her moment of
silence for George.* *wipes away a tear.* Okay....well...I'm not continuing
unless I get 6 reviews, ne? You may give me any ideas if you want. TO
VICTORY!
Chapter One: March of the Idiots
A boy about 15 sat on the edge of a tall building watching the cars go by.
He was enjoying the first day of summer. No evil teachers, no homework, and
definitely no school. He was free. Free as a bird! He could jump off the
building right now and fly away but he knew better. Suddenly a scream was
heard. He looked up in the sky and saw a little black dot falling to earth.
He sprang up suddenly and held out his arms. The thing, whatever it was,
finally came into view but he didn't have time to see it for it was on top
of him already.
Kurama: @_@ Ow...
Kohana: *girl about 12 years old with brown hair and brown eyes. Has red-
brownish ears and tail and is wearing a navy blue gi and tan hakama.* I
MADE IT! LET THIS BE THE DAY THAT THE FIRST YOUKAI FELL FROM THE SKY AND
LIVED!
Kurama: *rubbing head.* Miss...are you alright?
Kohana: Of course I'm all right! I'm indestructible! That's spelled in-
destructible! *ponders.* But am I flammable?
Voice heard from bottom of building: Hey Kohana! KOHANA! DID YOU DIE?!
Kohana: *cups hands to mouth.* NO TAJI! COME ON UP!
Voice: OKELLY DOKELLY!
Taji: *girl also 12 with blonde/silver hair and blue eyes. Has silver ears
and tail and is wearing a green gi with a tan hakama.* *head pokes over the
top of the building.* Yippee! You made it! *runs over to Kohana.*
Kohana: Yup! ^_^ And look who I landed on! Mr. Red Head!
Both: ^_^ YAY!
Kurama: *looks puzzled.* Is there something I missed?
Both: ^_ ^ No!
Hiei: *appears.* Kurama, Koenma has a new case and....*looks at the two
girls.* Who are they.
Kurama: They're---
Kohana: *sings.*
Official Youkai Greeting Song
I am a youkai!
A fox demon youkai!
With ears and a tail that goes swish swish!
And as a youkai!
A fox demon youkai!
I will greet you with this song!
TTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHIIIIIISSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSOOOOONNNNNNGGGGG!
Taji: KOHANA NO BAKA! *hits Kohana with a bokken that magically appeared in
her hand.*
Kohana: That didn't hurt! Yes it did...*disintegrates then reappears
magically at Taji's side.*
Kurama: 0.0
Hiei: Hn.
Taji: Oooooooo! I like that! Say it again!
Hiei: Baka.
Taji: BAKA! ^_^
Kohana: AHOU! ^_^
Cloud: *randomly passes by.* You guys are crazy.
Taji: *twitches and foams by the mouth. Leaps up and eats the cloud in one
bite.*
Kohana: *whispers to Kurama.* Don't worry. She usually does that after five
o'clock shadow.
Kurama: But that doesn't make any bloody sense!
Kohana: How *dare* you take the tone with me! Bad boy! Have a muffin!
*stuffs blueberry muffin in Kurama's mouth.*
Kurama: Mufhhh! 0.0''
Hiei: *slowly backs away.*
Taji: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUU! YOU'ER NOT GETTING AWAY THAT EASILY! *tackles Hiei to the ground.*
Hiei: DRAGON OF THE DARKNESS FLAME!
Taji: *burnt to a crisp.* Ooooo! Do it again! Again!
Hiei: O.O But...but...
Kohana: *riding on Kurama's back.* See I told you! We're indestructible!
Kurama: *nodding.* Yes you are! ^_^
Hiei: Kurama, You haven't gone suddenly soft for these idiots?
Kurama: Well as I always say, if you can't beat them join them!
Hiei: -_- You never said that.
Kurama: I know! ^_^
Taji: *creeps up behind Hiei and quickly puts a spiked collar around his
neck.* I shall call you fluffy and you call be mine! And you shall be my
fluffy!
Kohana: Yup! We own you guys now!
Hiei: No! Let me go you baka! *tugs at leash but instead gets electrically
shocked.*
Taji: *grins.* I knew you'd try to get away. When ever you tug, pull, or
try to get it off it'll shock you! You can never get away. Never.
Hiei: *glares.*
Kurama&Kohana: WHHHHHHEEEEEEEEE! ^_^ *jump off the building and land on a
big giant rose that suddenly appeared.*
Taji: *drags Hiei over to the giant rose and sits upon it.*
Kohana: Welcome to the Magical Rose Express! What is your destination?
Taji: 12434627691347626439 Nonexistent St.
Kurama: Good choice! Please keep your claws, ears, and tails inside the
vehicle at all times. Here we go! *rose magically flies up into the air at
a slow pace. After a half and hour or so a huge house comes into view. The
house is so big it takes up the whole neighborhood. It is all sorts of
colors and very abnormal. Swirly lines and curves go up and down the house
like a child's first drawing. A yellow chimney juts out from the side of
the house, purple ducks coming out of it. The yard is as big as the house
itself with wide-open fields and fences around them. There are also a few
stables that contain horses in them. Kurama and Hiei look at the house wide
eyed with shock.*
Kohana: Welcome home! ^_^
Taji: *takes collar off Hiei.* The good o'l open range!
Hiei: Hn.
Kurama: Coming in for a landing! *Rose crashes through the wall of the
house making a huge hole.* Oops!
Kohana: It's okay! We have people to fill in holes for us. *cups hands to
her mouth.* YAMI!
Yami Kohana: *appears in a puff of purple smoke.* What?
Kohana: Fill in the hole in the wall! Now!
Yami K: You know if I weren't around you'd be in big trouble.
Kohana: I know. Just do it!
Yami K: Whatever. *takes an elephant out of thin air and stuffs it through
the hole.* Done. *walks away.*
Taji: Okay, now there's a few things you need to know about our house.
First, most of our house is alive so don't upset it or it will eat you.
Second, we have a Man-Eater Bug in the garage so if you decide to take out
the garbage it may be your last time. Thirdly, DON'T EVER; EVER WALK INTO
THE TORTURE CHAMBER! Any questions?
Hiei: *raises hand.*
Taji: Yes Hiei?
Hiei: I would just like to make it clear that you guys are insane.
Kohana: Okay! Any other questions?
Kurama&Hiei:...
Taji: Good. Now into the candy house...*laughs insanely.*
All: *walk into the house onto a station platform. Suddenly a tram appears.
The conductor sticks his head out the window and grins evilly at all of
them.*
Yami Bakura: Welcome to The Doom Express Tram! DOOM! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *clears throat.* Come aboard foolish
mortals and you shall experience doom as you never have experienced before!
DOOM! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *thunder and lightning in
background.*
Kohana: Well we'll leave you hear for now. We need to go pick out your
rooms, ne?
Taji: Don't worry. He's harmless.
Kohana&Taji: *jump into a black vortex that just suddenly appeared and
vanish.*
Hiei: *eyes the tram.* We're supposed to go in there.
Kurama: Is there a choice?
Both: *walk on the tram cautiously.*
Yami Bakura: Hold on! *doors shut loudly as tram starts speeding up. Hiei
and Kurama are forced to sit down, grasping the railing.*
Hiei: Idiot. Doesn't he know it's dangerous to go this fast?
Kurama: *sweatdrops.* Apparently not.
Yami Bakura: DOOM! DOOM! DDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *tram screeches to a halt.*
Hiei&Kurama: @.@
Yami Bakura: You may now exit The Doom Express Tram through the sliding
doors to your right! Please have a doom filled day! DOOM! DOOOOOOOOM!
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Hiei&Kurama: *both walk out of the tram rubbing their heads, cursing
silently to themselves.*
Soujiro: *loudly.* Hello! Welcome to the house tour! Soujiro and I will be
your tour guides this evening! Please feel free to ask any questions on the
way! Right Soujiro-san? That's right Soujiro-san! You're so smart! I know!
^_^
Kurama: 0.0
Hiei: Hn.
Soujiro: Okay then! Follow ussssssssssssssssssssss! *starts skipping,
leaping, and turning around while saying things like, toddlepip and jolly
good old chap! He then stops at a little room, bubbles coming out of the
entrance.* Now our first stop is the laundry room! Soujiro-san please give
them the details! Of course I will Soujiro-san! This is the place where you
wash your clothes! Just look inside and see for yourself!
*~Inside The Laundry Room~*
Kenshin: *talking to the soap bubbles.* Don't tell Kaoru but you guys are
by best friends.....I mean you're so shiny! *reaches out to touch a bubble
but pops it by mistake.* NO GEORGE! I KILLED YOU! WHY!
WWWWWWHHHHHYYYYYYYYYY! *sits down and sobs.*
Kurama: Soap.....bubbles....? o.0
Hiei: Hn. Baka.
Soujiro: Let's move on shall we! Yes we shall! *skips to the next room.*
This is the arts and crafts room! It's where you can draw, paint, and make
clay sculptures! Let's take a look inside!
*~Inside Art and Crafts Room~*
Sanosuke: Hey look guys! I finally finished my ear wax replica of Saitou!
Aoshi: Impressive but it's not as good as my 'I am way better then the
Battosai in every single way' collage! What'd you make Saitou!
Saitou: I made a heart, with my own heart.
Sano&Aoshi: 0.0
Saitou: *falls over and dies.*
Soujiro: *laughs nervously.* Let's move on..... *walks to the next
hallway.* Down there you'll find the meditating room, the living room, and,
our favorite, the sparring room. *walks to another hallway.* And down there
you'll find the kitchen, the computer lab, the music room, and a swimming
pool! ^_^ All the other rooms are either bedrooms, torture chambers, or
rooms Taji and Kohana just haven't discovered yet. We will now leave you
here! Bye bye! Farewell! *waves with both hands then gracefully skips down
the hall.*
Kurama: *looks around with awe.* This place is huge!
Hiei: Hn.
Kurama: Will you say something different for once!
Hiei: Baka.
Kurama: -_-' I rest my case.
Kohana: *runs over to Kurama.* Here you guys are! We've been looking for
you every where!
Taji: Yeah! Your rooms are---
Kohana: *sings.* ---C is for cookie! And cookie's just for me!
Taji: SHUT-UP! *hits her on the head.*
Kohana: @.@ Okay...shutting-up....
Taji: As I was saying...*glares angrily at Kohana.*....your rooms are
ready! It's almost dinnertime and I'm cooking! ^_^ So go get washed up!
*walks away happily to the kitchen.*
Kohana: *shakes her head worriedly.* Oh no....
Hiei: What?
Kurama: Yeah what is it?
Kohana: Well, last time when she made toast, she burnt the whole house
down. She hasn't cooked since then.
Kurama: Um....that's interesting.
Hiei: She's gonna bake us alive. Baka ahou.
Kohana: There's only one thing we can do....we must find the meatloaf!
Hiei: ...meatloaf...
Kurama: Why...a meatloaf....?
Kohana: It's the centerpiece of everyone's lives! It will show us the way!
Come on! *drags Hiei and Kurama down the hall as heroic music plays.*
Kenshin: *cupping his hands as if he was holding something in it.* GEORGE!
NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE! DON'T WORRY PAL! I'LL TRY
EVRY WAY TO REVIVE YOU! OH GEORGE! *runs down the hallway sobbing.*
Will Kohana ever find the meatloaf? Is Taji going to burn down the house?
And is poor George ever coming back? Who knows? Tune in next time for
chapter two!
To Be Continued!
Kohana: Poor George! *sniff.* He was a good soap bubble. *has her moment of
silence for George.* *wipes away a tear.* Okay....well...I'm not continuing
unless I get 6 reviews, ne? You may give me any ideas if you want. TO
VICTORY!
