A Prayer To The Force
Rey tried telling herself that traversing the vast plains of snow on Ilum wasn't much different from traversing Jakku's sand dunes but she knew that wasn't entirely true.
For one thing it was bitterly cold. Heat, she could handle. This was excruciating. It was much harder to walk through snow drifts then sand. While the sand that got in everywhere could be irritating, it posed no danger. If snow got into your boots or beneath your protective clothing, it could melt, get your innermost layers wet, freeze, and cause frost bite. Heat could kill but so could cold and in spite of the thick parka, gloves, snow pants, padded shoes, scarf, and head covering, she was still freezing. Goggles protected her eyes from snow blowing into her eyes.
Clutched in her thick gloves was a holo map directing her toward what had once been a Jedi temple. According to texts she'd read, this was where padawans once came to find kyber crystals to complete their lightsabers. The students would go out into vast crystal caves and wait for the right one to call out to them. The temple was attacked during the Clone Wars but was curiously overlooked by the Empire, which raided Jedah instead for its crystals to build the planet-destroying Death Star's laser beam. Lost in time, Ilum was forgotten. The First Order had never been here, which to Rey meant that Kylo Ren did not know about this place. He obviously had obtained his lightsaber's crystal elsewhere.
She tried not to think about him but whenever he bubbled up in her thoughts, she quickly pushed him back out. She didn't need the emotions he stirred in her. Not today.
Reaching out with the Force, she hoped to find some signature of the past that would indicate she was near her destination. Her whole reason for coming to Ilum was to either find a crystal to repair the broken Skywalker lightsaber or one to construct an entirely new lightsaber. She wasn't sure what she wanted. She'd hoped the Force would guide her.
Yes, there it was, nestled in the foothills near her.
Energized, she walked faster toward what looked like a cave entrance. Her feet crunched in the snow at a quickening pace. Then she heard a horrible cracking noise, followed by another, and another. She felt danger in the Force but before she could act, the ground crumbled and fell beneath her feet. She screamed.
Rey tumbled into the crevasse, chunks of ice, snow, and rocks pelting her as she fell. Her survival goods went flying all over the place. Her head covering came off. It was hard not to be terrified of falling deeper into the abyss but she was a Jedi. Or at least she aspired to be. Her ally was the Force and she didn't need to give into fear. She calmed herself and visualized her fall slowing down to the speed of a feather floating to the ground. She gently landed on a slope of snow.
Opening her eyes, she removed her snow goggles and took a look at her surroundings. It was dark but there was still enough light from the surface to see. That of course would change once the sun set and night came. She still had her supply pack and some things still inside but much of it, including water and several ration bars, a heating unit, and a lantern, were gone. She cursed with an exasperated sigh.
Looking up, she wondered if she could leap up to the surface. She knew the Force could help her. On her first try, she got about halfway up then she slowed her descent back down to the snow. She quickly realized after two more attempts she neither had the ability to leap up that high nor was there anywhere for her to gain a hand or foot hold on the sides of the crevasse.
With a sinking heart, she knew she was trapped. Rey tried her comlink but nothing was in range. She looked at the beacon on her wrist, her last lifeline to her friends. "You just had to come alone," she grumbled. But none of her friends could be spared for a mystical journey rather than a mission for the Resistance. She turned on the beacon, hoping its far-ranging signal would reach anyone, if not her friends. At least anyone who wasn't a pirate, a mercenary, a bounty hunter, or from the First Order.
Settling down on the snow, Rey realized it could be anywhere from hours to days to weeks before anyone found her. If she was ever found at all. And in that time, with no source of heat, limited food, and the dangers of hypothermia and frost bite, she might not survive.
Unless.
It was no guarantee but it was all she could do to stay alive. She'd studied how the Jedi were able to enter into a hibernation state, surviving long periods of time without food or water. Spreading out her sleeping roll, she lay down on her side and focused on her breath and her heartbeat. She felt both slow down to a near crawl, her eyes closed as she hovered just between life and death, her final conscious thoughts a prayer to the Force someone would find her quickly.
Kylo Ren entered his quarters aboard the Finalizer, the door sliding closed behind him. He exhaled, alone at last after a long day of being constantly surrounded by underlings, generals, admirals, and others important to the First Order. No wonder Snoke hid himself away in his throne room. It was all so draining to be Supreme Leader.
The quarters were sparse and clean. There were no adornments or any real luxuries besides a large amount of space, a refrigeration unit filled with wine bottles, and a hidden cabinet of the finest liquors and spirits.
The chambers were quiet but for the sound of air circulators and the distant hum of ship engines. He welcomed the silence. It was as close to peace as he could ever experience.
He entered the bedroom and casually removed his cape, tossing it onto a chair. Then he froze in place and his lips gaped open. Beneath his tunic, goosebumps covered his skin and the hair on his arms prickled up. He felt a shudder in the Force and soon he couldn't hear anything, not even the ship's ambient noise. He hadn't experienced this since…
Then he saw the scavenger girl, Rey, lying on her side on his bed. She was dressed in a heavy cold weather jacket and pants tucked into snow boots.
"What are you doing here?" he demanded, reaching for his lightsaber. But she didn't move or respond. Warily he came closer to her prone body. He could see her gloved hands. She held no weapons. She simply appeared to be in a deep sleep.
"Rey!" he called out, reaching to shake her awake. He gently shook her shoulder but she still did not move. "Are you all right?" He removed his glove, touching her cheek. He drew back with a gasp. It felt like ice.
Was this why the Force connected them now? Because she was freezing to death somewhere? Her body showed no sign of injury but what if she was alone? Could she be stranded or abandoned somewhere?
Kylo stared at her form. She still breathed but a very slow rate. He realized she must be hibernating in a Force trance. He admired her quick thinking. She was a survivor, that one. But she was having trouble staying warm. He had no idea how long she would have to live before help came for her but it wouldn't be long.
For a moment, Kylo wanted to turn away and ignore her until after their connection ended. She was the First Order's most dangerous enemy, the last of a cursed order that needed to be swept into history's ash bin. She'd left him to run back to Skywalker and her friends.
But his eyes couldn't leave her body, his fingers still feeling the coldness of her skin. She seemed so helpless…No, you're not going to die like this, he thought. You deserve the honor of a warrior's death. He went to a wardrobe cabinet and pulled several woven throws and blankets. He covered her body with them until it looked like a heap of blankets.
He continued to undress, keeping an eye on her. He slipped into his sleep pants and shirt. Then he checked on her again, touching her cheek. She was warmer but not quite enough. He knew nothing would provide as much consistent warmth as the heat of another body. Sighing, he crawled into bed beside her, burying himself beneath the blankets he'd lain on her. He spooned his body around hers, instinctively putting his arm around her waist and holding her against him. He could smell her hair, hear her breathing, and feel her slowed heartbeat. "Hold on, Rey," he whispered to her. And please don't disconnect me, he silently prayed to the Force.
Aboard the Falcon, Chewbacca growled with concern when the wrist beacon sitting on the dejarik table blinked and beeped. This was an emergency frequency; it wasn't because Rey had finished her mission. He howled to get Finn's attention. "What is it? Is it Rey?" he asked worriedly.
The Wookiee nodded and grunted, holding up the beacon. Finn bit out a curse. They'd tried to dissuade Rey from going alone on Ilum but in her usual stubborn way, she'd insisted she would be all right on her own and that the Resistance couldn't spare them on a side quest.
What she did not know was that he, Rose, and Chewbacca had decided to wait in the Falcon the next system over in case she needed help.
"Let's get to Ilum right now," Finn told the Wookiee. His mind played every bad scenario. She was sick or injured. She'd been attacked by someone or something on the planet. The First Order. Whatever was happening, they were going to help her.
Kylo felt Rey's body warming, relief washing over him. He couldn't sleep because he was so concentrated on keeping her safe. And this was confusing to him. Yet, he could not help himself. All he truly wanted in this moment was for her to survive.
He lay there staring at her in the dim light. Impulsively, he lightly ran his fingers on her cheek. He was pleased to find it was warm. Then he smoothed her hair. His lips burned to touch her freckled skin but given her state, it was too much of an intrusion. Ugh, she'd kill me.
"Keep fighting, brave one," he whispered. "You didn't come all of this way just to freeze to death alone." He felt tears pool in his eyes. No matter what, he'd never not see a lot of himself in her. Which is why it pained him that she so stubbornly clung to her pitiful Resistance or the old ways of the Jedi.
"We were so good together," he said. "All of this time, in spite of all of my anger at you, I've missed you so much. Like a part of me has been missing. Do you feel the same way? Somehow, I believe you do."
In response, she stirred and moved against him. Oh to have her by his side like this every night…
"I think all of the time how we'd parted. I think about the throne room. There's a lot I wish I'd said differently," he continued, stroking her hair. "I care about you. I wish I could be with you. I don't know if it's possible. Maybe it's foolish. Maybe it's insane. But it's what I desire."
Tears fell, knowing what he wanted more than anything couldn't be his. It tore at his heart that she couldn't respond to him, either with her own need for him or even with rejection. He'd accept anything from her now. Just as long as she felt something for him.
Unfamiliar voices broke the chamber's silence. They seemed to be calling out, "Rey! Rey, are you all right?!" Kylo pulled his arms around her even tighter, then he realized he was hearing those voices through the Force. He heard footsteps crunching in the snow and Rey started to stir, as though she was awakening. Kylo loosened his embrace, releasing her from his arms just before she bolted upright, facing away from him. She looked up at the ceiling and shouted, "Finn! Rose!" Then she vanished, the connection in the Force broken.
Kylo stared at the pile of empty blankets. She'd been found and she was going to be safe. He was grateful for that. Yet sadness tugged at him. She was gone again and she would never know he'd kept her alive.
Rey was back aboard the Falcon, feeling much better after a sonic shower, a change in clothing, some caf, and hot food in her stomach. She sat staring at the mug on the galley table. She'd failed in her mission to Ilum. She could've been killed and the galaxy's hope would die with her. Already she dreaded the dressing down she was going to get from Poe. As it was, the very first thing Rose told her was, "You're never going on these things alone again."
She'd thought Finn would be upset with her but he was simply relieved she was alive and well. "No frost bite, no hypothermia…wow, how'd you do it?" he'd asked.
Smiling secretively, she'd said, "The Force helped me. But you were waiting close by and for that, I am so grateful."
"That's what friends do," he'd said. "We're here for each other. What else are we fighting for?"
Her gaze turned to the dark liquid languishing in the mug. There was more, of course, but she didn't think she could tell anyone. As she was in her hibernation trance, she had dreamt that Ben Solo—Kylo Ren—lay beside her, whispered to her, and kept her warm throughout the night.
