Jay heard the knock on his door. He muted the TV, and pulled up his aching body and slowly moved towards the door. Pain radiated down his body with each laborious step. Right as his hand touched the knob, his visitor knocked again. More firmly this time.
"Jay!" He heard Erin call out. A slight edge in her voice. He paused, with his hand still on the knob. A thousand different scenarios about why Erin was there and what exactly she might be here to say flew through his mind. He opened the door.
"Jay-"He interrupted her mid knock, her hand raised against the now empty space. "You're home." She stated quietly. He could see a look of relief cross her concerned face. Jay nodded in response, not quite sure what he wanted to say to her. Last he had seen her, she had been swept into Voight's car to be taken to the precinct while he had been coerced into the back of the ambulance and taken to Chicago Med. The image of her covered with blood still stained his mind. She had changed and cleaned up, but the anguish was still evident in her face.
He had never been more grateful to see her as the two thugs had dragged him into Keyes' study. He had accepted the fact that he was probably going to die. As he had been pummeled and beaten, her face had been what kept him from passing out. Remembering the past. Memories of lazy Sunday mornings, dinners in obscure restaurants, and stolen moments in the locker room. If he was going to die, he was going to die thinking of her. Then, as if his mind had conjured her, there Erin was. The quick minutes in which they both fought for their lives had replayed themselves over and over in his mind the last few hours. One misstep any way, and one or both of them might not have survived the ordeal.
Despite this, he couldn't help but also remember his conversation with her just yesterday. Was it really just yesterday morning? She'd quit. Walked away. Given up their partnership so she could wallow in misery with drugs, alcohol, and losers. Who knows what she had been up to over the last three weeks? He couldn't just forget that.
Erin shoved her hands into her pockets and awkwardly looked around the apartment hallway. "I just… I wanted to see…" She cautiously looked up into his eyes. "I needed to see that you were okay." Still not speaking, Jay opened the door fully, and stepped to the side in a silent invitation to enter.
Erin moved forward into the darkened apartment. The only light from the muted television replaying one of those old action movies that Jay loved. Her eyes surveyed the room. It had been over a month, or maybe longer, since she had been here. Her eyes searched for any changes to the small room. A sign that Jay had changed, moved on, wasn't the same man she had left behind. But there wasn't anything. Everything looked as it always looked. As if it was just this morning that she had last been here bickering over what channel morning news to watch and teasing him about his miniscule kitchen.
She turned to watch as Jay followed her into the living area. She noted the way he gingerly walked. Arm held at an unnatural angle. "You know…" she started, "this wasn't my first stop of the night." She walked to the back of his couch, her fingers fiddling with the top of the couch cushion. She met his eyes, "imagine my surprise when I arrived at the hospital to check up on you, only to find out you had discharged yourself against doctor's orders."
Jay rolled his eyes, "Save it. I've already heard it all from Will." He grimaced as he lowered himself to the couch. "I just wanted to be home. After today, I…" he broke off as a quick memory of earlier flashed into his mind. He could feel their fists pounding into him as he swayed from the ceiling hook. The metallic taste of blood in his mouth as the Taser burned into his skin. "I just wanted to be home," he finished. He reclined back onto the couch. His eyes closing as he rested his head against the back cushion.
Erin walked around to the front of Jay's couch and gently sat down on the opposite side of him. She faced him tucking her leg up under her. She bit her lip as she survey the damage she could see. The bruising under his left eye had colored even more in the hours since she had last seen him. The gashes on his forehead and cheek had been expertly stitched but swelling, bruising, and fresh scabs marred his always handsome face. Erin fought the urge to reach out and touch him, just to feel his warm skin under her fingers tips. She need confirmation that he was here: flesh and blood. Alive. As if under a spell, her hand reached out and her fingertips gently stroked a spot on his cheek that was free from abuse. His breath caught as he felt her touch and his eyes popped open. Clear blue met stormy hazel eyes. Her hands stilled, but didn't drop from his face.
"I'm sorry," she murmured quietly. Her hand gently cupping his cheek. Her eyes glassy, as tears that she had held in all day, maybe all month, threatened to fall once again. Guilt overwhelming her. Was Voight right? If she had been there in Midway, would any of this had happened? It was hard to see her normally strong partner looking so vulnerable and broken.
"For what?" He questioned softly. He needed to know. Did she regret quitting the team? Quitting him? His eyes searched hers looking answers.
Erin pulled her hand back and broke eye contact. "Can I get some water?" She stood quickly and walked to the kitchen without waiting for a response. "Want some?" She called back over her shoulder. Her body acted on autopilot as she got two glasses down from the familiar cabinet and filled them from the filtered jug in his fridge. Her eyes surveying the usual beer and takeout containers that usually filled his refrigerator. Nothing's changed, she thought quietly.
She sucked in her breath as she spun around and realized Jay was standing right behind her. She hadn't heard him get up from the couch and follow her into the kitchen. He took a glass from her hand, took a sip, and then reached around her to place it on the counter behind her. She felt trapped as he leaned in even closer to her. The only light in the room came from an outside light reflecting in the darkened room. She couldn't see his eyes clearly, but his nearness was overwhelming. She felt like he was sucking the air out of the room. She couldn't breathe as she felt his breath against her cheek. The glass in her hand the only thing keeping her from overheating. She nervously brought it to her lips, grateful for the distraction. The cool liquid calmed her slightly, but she couldn't help her eyes from darting towards the door. She wanted to escape, but that has been what she had been doing for weeks. She had come here for a reason.
Jay lifted his hand to her hip and gently brushed the shield on her hip with his thumb. His eyes dropping quickly to the star before meeting hers again. This time a different question in them.
Erin gave a slight nod at the unasked question. "I'm back," she stated quietly. She couldn't help her heart from swelling slightly when his lips turned up slightly in a grin.
"Okay." He spoke simply, retrieved the glass again from behind her, and turned and walked back towards the living room. He stopped at the end table and grabbed a bottle of pills, untwisted the top, and spilled a few into his hand.
"Okay?" Erin followed him questioning his simple acceptance of her return. "I abandon you, the team. I treat you like shit for weeks. Then I say 'I'm back,' and you are okay with it?" She couldn't help the anger from creeping into her voice. Anger at herself for all that she had done.
Jay swallowed his pills, praying for them to work quickly. The aching in his ribs and head had gotten progressively worse, and his body craved rest. He met Erin's eyes, noting the fiery spark in them. Maybe he should be mad at her. Maybe he should question if she should be back at work. But right now, he was just happy she was back. His Erin. Even the spark of irritation at him that he could see in her eyes right now was a welcome sight to the emptiness he had gotten used to seeing over the last month.
"You're back. That's all I wanted." He set his glass down, grabbed the remote, flipped the television off, and gingerly walked towards his bedroom. Switching on the bedside light as he entered. The pounding in his head too much. Now that he knew Erin was back and he had his answers, the pain that he had pushed aside had stormed in. He needed to lay down or he might pass out.
Still not accepting of his declaration, Erin followed him into his bedroom. "Do you still trust me?"
"Yes." Jay answered without hesitation. He pulled the blanket on top of his bed back and slowly rolled into the bed. "I feel like my head is going to explode." He murmured as he closed his eyes as if to ward off the pain. He sighed as his head was cushioned by the pillow.
Erin sat on the edge of the bed. Her eyes tracing his face. Looking for signs of doubt in him. That maybe he didn't trust her, didn't want her back. She shook her head slightly even though he couldn't see it. That was Jay for you. Open and honest. She's his partner, and he wants her back. She's back. Case closed.
"You should be in the hospital. You shouldn't be alone."
His eyes fluttered open. "I'm not alone. You're here." He stated simply. He yawned, but grimaced as the yawn stretched the stitches on his cheek. "Will said he'd check on me in the morning." Erin nodded at him, but noted that Jay had already closed his eyes and settled more firmly into the pillow. Even as she watched she could sense his breathing steady as he fell into a much needed slumber. Slowly she eased off the bed, and pulled the blanket up over his body. Her hand ghosted down the side of face as she turned to leave. Suddenly, he reached up grabbed her wrist. "Stay."
Cloudy blue eyes, already feeling the effects of the painkillers, met her. "Jay, I can't-"
"Stay," he repeated. "I need my partner." He shuffled over in the bed slightly, and gave a gentle tug on her arm.
Deciding not to deny what her heart and body both wanted, unable to refuse his request, she toed off her shoes and crawled into the bed. Leaning over to flip off the light as she pulled the blanket up over them both. Her body instantly curled into his, as if it hadn't been months since she had found herself here. Their bodies fit together, always had. As she lay pressed against his side, she could feel his breathing even out again. She tried to tell her mind that she was just being a friend, a partner, but she knew there was nobody else in the world that she could open herself up to like she could with Jay. Maybe now wasn't the right time for them. She had to figure quite a few things out first. After all, she was going to be bunking down with Voight for a few weeks, but she still thought that they might have a someday…one day.
