OK, this is probably the worst thing ever, but it was clogging up my hard drive, so what the hell. It's going up. Wrote it quite a while ago, I THINK it's my first ever piece of fanfiction, so it's at least a year old.
I own nothing but the idea
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'Ow,
ow, OUCH! Jesus fuck that hurts!'
'Stop it Owen, I have to get
these out quickly.'
Owen flinched again, overdramatically in
Tosh's opinion.
'Bloody alien cactus.' he grumbled, and then swore
again as Tosh yanked out another particularly big spiky lump of
plant.
'Oestrolepitha.' exclaimed Jack from the doorway.
'And
what the hell is that supposed to mean?' snapped Owen.
'It's
Costnian for exploding plant. The official Torchwood name for it is
'dynamite flower', for obvious reasons.' Now stop being a baby and
let Toshiko take those thorns out. They're mildly poisonous.'
Ianto
looked at Owen's screwed up face, and allowed himself a secret smile.
Owen was such a prat sometimes, but this one really took the biscuit.
The team
had been going about their usual business, Ianto was making coffee,
Tosh was doing her computer stuff, Gwen and Jack were in Jack's
office doing whatever they did while they were in there, and Owen was
cleaning up a young lad who had got on the wrong side of a weevil.
Nothing too serious, mainly because Owen had shot it before it could
do any real damage. As they couldn't send him to the hospital because
they'd ask too many questions about what happened, they decided to
take him back to base and treat him there and then retcon the hell
out him.
When Owen had finished he sent him up out the tourist
info centre way with a can of coke with added retcon.
Owen was
just mopping up the blood when Ianto and Tosh heard a bang, and smoke
started billowing out of the medical bay doors.
'Holy shit!' Jack
and Gwen had heard it too and were legging it towards the smoke, Gwen
swearing like a trooper.
A shape appeared in the smoke. It was
Owen, dubious brown spikes lodged in his arm and shoulder.
'Bloody
thing exploded!' he yelled, staggering into the main Hub.
Seeing
the brown spikes, Jack leapt into action.
'Gwen, get the big
tweezers, Tosh, you're the gentlest, you'll have to take them out,
and Owen, you're gonna want to sit down. This is gonna hurt. Quite a
lot.' Jack tried not to look pleased, and actually managed, for a few
seconds anyway.
'Ow!' Owen's yelp shocked Ianto back to the
present.
Jack shook his head wearily. 'There are two major rules
you learnt when you joined Torchwood. One, don't mess with the rift,
and two, don't with what comes out of the rift. Have you leant your
lesson yet?'
'Yes.' muttered Owen sulkily.
And all was calm.
Until a few days later, when Owen bit into a blue apple...
--
Yeah, it was terrible. Review if ya want lol
