Author's Note: I recently bought The Phantom of the Oprea on DVD. It has inspired me to write this one shot. I hope you enjoy. It is a cross over between 300 and Phantom of the Opera. Well, sort of a cross over. Hope you enjoy anyway. ALSO, in case you didn't know; Gerard Butler plays both the Phantom in Phantom of the Opera and Leonidos (sp?) in 300.

I Want To Be A Spartan

"You know, Madame Giry, I think I could pass as a Spartan." The Phantom said as he turned in circles in front of one of the many mirrors in his liar. "Do you not think so?"

Madame Giry glanced up slowly. "Is that why you called me down here? Come now. You know I do not have time to lolly-gag around. Those fools who run your opera are visiting today, remember?"

Turning sharply, the Phantom faced Madame Giry wearing an evil grin on his face. "Why is it you always use my own words against me?"

Laughing, Madame Giry stood. As she stepped forward, she found herself not approaching the Phantom as she had planned, but approaching the ground at a rapid speed. Suddenly, she was back on her feet looking the Phantom straight in the face. "You should really fix that."

"Hm. Well, since I caught you before you fell into the abyss of my.. horrid house keeping, don't you think you should reward me with a 'thank you' or perhaps a complement?"

The two began to walk hand in hand down the corridor. "Well," Madame Giry replied, "I suppose helping a damsel in distress is an honorable thing to do. Not taking advantage of the said damsel would be considered respectable. Spartans prided themselves on those two traits."

"Ha! Taking advantage?"

"I believe thats the proper way to say it."

The Phantom stepped in front of Madame Giry and bowed deeply, "I would never do such a dis-honorable thing."

"Oh, and lets not forget that you will need a pair of man-panties and a red cape."

The Phantom stopped. Madame Giry turned, "What is it? Are you sick?"

"Madame.. I fear that perhaps I am a Spartan already."

"You fear?"

Taking a deep breath, the Phantom replied, "I already have a pair of man-panties and a red cape."

A deafening silence rang through out the corridor. The candles flickered, making it seem even more dreary than it already appeared. Shadows slowly became larger and longer until it seemed as if they would consume the couple.

"Oh my."

And that was the end of that.