Get the title? Bunny and Wilde! Like Bonnie and Clyde! Oh well screw you if you don't (not really, I love you plz stay). This fanfic is set a few months after the end of the movie. It's a mystery/adventure story with romance in it (of course) slow burn though. Rated T for vocabulary some violence and some eventual intimacy (ooh saucy!)
"beep! beep! beep! beep!"
"Huurrgggh!"
Nick hated that god forsaken alarm clock. Every morning it would ring marking the end of a good night's sleep and the beginning of a day of work. Make no mistake Nick loved his new legit job at the ZPD, the only thing that bothered him was the hour it required waking up at. He pressed the snooze button and looked at the time displayed on the front of the wretched object.
"It's already 6:00?" sigh
It's at times like those that Nick missed his old life. Hustling didn't require any time to get up at, but then again the ZPD offered a much more steady flow of income. The red fox sat up on his bed and with eyes still weighed by sleep he took a good look at his apartment. It was relatively small and in quite a bad shape. A few clothes were laying around here and there, the sink was full of dirty dishes and it looked like the walls were going to fall off due to the rott. He had been thinking for a few months now to move out, ever since he graduated from the police academy. He never got around to it thaugh, there was a certain … level of charm to this place which Nick had a hard time getting himself separated to.
His breakfast was quick and boring, just like every day, he ate the same god awful soggy cereals with milk that was, without doubt, close if not already past the expiration date. That was an other thing he needed to do Nick thought.
Once he finished eating, the furry predator went to his bathroom to wash the morning off his fur. Despite his general messy-ness in life which the state of his apartment was the proof of, Nick had always given particular attention to his looks. His fur was always soft and clean, his teeths always white and his claws uniform and well tended to. The shower also served to wake him up and when he got out of it, it was without all the murderous thought directed towards his clock. After he dried himself slowly as to not make his fur curl, Nick tended to his now clean fur, and brushed his teeths.
Once his whole bathroom routine done, Nick looked overall better. He was clean, more awake and aware and he looked pretty happier. What was next was his favorite moment in the morning. He put on his immaculate police uniform and the badge that came with it harboring "Nicholas P. Wilde" in golden letters. With a satisfied grin he looked himself over in the mirror.
"Hey there handsome! You look great as usual."
Once he had a good long look at his reflection, he decided it was time to go. He took his hat, put on his signature aviator glasses and went out into the corridor. After he locked the door he noticed his long time neighbor an elderly grey fox lady, although he wasn't sure if it was her natural fur color or if it was just the work of old age.
"Nicholas, my boy, come here you."
" ! How are you doing today you look so well. Tell me what is your secret?"
"Oh Nicholas you charmer! Tell me Nicholas have you found a girlfriend yet?"
The sweet old lady was like family to Nick, and like family she was always sticking her snout in area of his private life Nick would have rather not.
"No not yet."
"You're not trying hard enough. If I was younger I would be running after you, there must be others that think the same."
"Are you trying to tell me you're interested?"
"Oh Nick you chicky little fox. Just don't wait too long before finding someone or you'll be old like me. And I want to still be there when you finally find someone."
"I will try my best, gotta go now."
"Be safe!"
"Okay mom!"
Nick could hear the old lady mumble, probably something about not calling her that and it making her feel old. had always been looking after Nick and he after her.
Nick didn't own a vehicle, the con artist's life wasn't nearly lucrative enough for that. He had been saving up a bit since he was ZPD but there were more important stuff than a car. Waiting at the bus stop he profited of the time he had before the large public vehicle came, to observe the others that were waiting. The majority of the population in his neighbourhood were foxes or other small fox-like predator. All looked moderately poor in rackety clothes or badly washed. Nick, although he couldn't be considered exactly rich, stood out of the masse by is appearance. Many were actually stealing quick glance at him, probably trying to understand how someone living in this part of town could be a cop, moreover a fox cop. Nick was used to the glances by now, he knew that many of these people were making their money in chifty or all out illegal ways. After all, he was in their shoes only a year ago, but a strange little mammal had came and changed his life.
The bus came to a stop in front of the small crowd and they started boarding. Nick sat at the back so he could be in peace without other people disturbing him. As he passed the rows of seated passenger he received a few more glances from the people already seated. His stop was one of the last one so he did not needed nor wanted the constant scrutiny of the new passengers, hence why he took a seat at the back. The ride was a long one, as usual, and when he finally arrived at his stop he was all too happy to exit this tin can that smelled the closed-in wet dog. No offense meant to any dogs. The precinct was still a good walk away. It was normal that the bus line passing through one of the "less respectable" part of town did not stop at the front door of the police station. After a twenty minute walk, Nick had finally arrived at the main entrance of the district one police station in the very heart of the city. Already the scene was busy with action as two officers escorted a drunk zebra that had clearly too much fun last night.
"Hey Nick how are you?"
"Good thanks, Clawhauser and you?"
"Oh fine you know another day of work as usual, waiting for new posts from gazel. Everybody is already there for the morning roll call, only missing you."
"Ok just let me punch in and i'll be on my way, thanks."
Nick clocked in, took off his glasses and went straight for the briefing room. When he got in he saw everyone seated speaking to each other, waiting for the chief to come out with the assignments. Nick beelined for the chair which he was sharing with the only other small mammal in the force.
"Hey there partner!" He said with a very forced southern accent.
"Hey." Was the only response the usually cheerful bunny gave back. Judy had heavy pouches under her eyes, unmistakable sign of fatigue.
"Well, who is the lucky bunny who kept you up all night?"
"A, shut up. B, my neighbors were up all night screaming at each other and the walls are very thin, so I am not in the mood for your jokes."
Nick knew that was a lie. Even Though Judy might have got a bad night sleep she always was up for a bit of teasing.
"Wow carrots, why so rude? You're hurting my feelings over here."
"I didn't know you had any of those."
"Ah common. You know you love me." Nick said his new catch phrase.
"Do I?"
"ATTENTION!"
The chief stepped in the room and everybody went quiet.
"Alright, my wife as gotten into her head to organize a party with her friends on sunday at the same time of the big game. So let's get this over with so I can go back to trying to convince her not to do so."
The comment inspired a few laughter and cheers from the group of policemammal.
"So first things first, I have a few announcement to make, most of them coming from either the PR team or mammal ressources, all of which are frankly unimportant. However I must tell you this."
The chief looked down to his sheet to quote the message from the department.
"Be advised that all mammals in the force are responsible for the sanitation of their work environment and that all should follow a strict code of hygiene as to make their workplace all the more enjoyable to themselves and their colleagues."
The officer closed the sheet and looked up at a rhino with a serious face.
"That by the way, means we know when you fart Joey, everyone can smell it a mile away, please use the bathrooms for crying out loud."
Another wave of roars and other animal sound came as the group laugh at the poor rhino. It wasn't really a big deal in two days everybody would have forgotten the joke at his expense.
"Here is the assignments. Officer , Rhinowits, Wolfard, you guys are on survey duty of a leopard gang in the rain forest district. Officer Sniggens, Snarlow, Tunkerbee, there as been witness report of shady looking wolfs making transaction in the tundra district's park, possibly drug deals. Cover the area and bring back the culprits, you are to remain hidden so to not frighten the dealers. Finally Officer Hopps and Wilde. Sigh"
The duo waited for the assignments as the other teams took their files and left for their respective assigned areas. Finally chief Bogo said in a slow and demoralised tone.
"Hopps and Wilde, I have no new assignment for you today and you already finished all your other assignments for the weak… And it's only Wednesday. What am I to do with you?"
"Sir." Said Judy, "I think I understand that officer Porkins and Coon have been having trouble with the murder case for some weeks now."
"You do understand that even if you did solve the nighthowler mysterie you're not actually detectives."
"Yes sir, I am simply saying that we could be useful if they ever needed more hands or make a search of a location. Besides, what else could you use us for?"
"I could assign you to parking duty." Jokingly said Bogo.
"And waste such talent?" The response came from Nick this time. He was all too happy to retort with a big grin stretched across his face.
"Shut up Wilde." That answer had became a kind of running gag between the officers and the chief. Every time Nick would comment on what Bogo said he would ask him to shut up.
"Sigh. Okay I am going to ask them if they would like more people on their team, otherwise I'll have to put you on patrol until something new comes up."
"Thanks Boss."
"Don't."
Bogo left the room to make a call to the investigating team's office, leaving only Nick and Judy in the room.
"So who do you think is going to win the tuskball game this weekend?" Nick asked.
"Clearly the Snow Warriors. They have had a perfect season from the beginning."
"What! I never pitched you for a Snow fan."
"Well obviously they're the best team."
"Excuse me! The Sand Boogies are going to make them bite the dust this Sunday, you'll see."
"No way, they had such a shitty season they were almost knocked out on their last match."
"That's because they were pitched against all the best teams of the league. Now that they have dealt with the Jungle Savages it's only fame and glory onward to the cup. The only reason the Snows have made it this far is because they had easy match against all the worst teams."
"Hell no, the Snows are so going to beat the Boogies. You are just saying bullshit to get to me."
"Are you serious? You really think the Snows have anything on the Boogies. Have you lost your mind? Hello is there someone in there?" Nick asked while gently knocking on Judy's skull as if to check if there was anything inside.
The annoyed rabbit responded as she moved away from the fox harassing her. "I am ready to make a bet on it any time."
"Fine what's the stake?"
A noise came from the chief's office signaling that he had finished his call to the investigating team.
"We'll talk about it later." Whispered Judy.
The door to the office opened and their superior came out of the room.
"Alright, Porkins and Coon have agreed to take you in. BUT, remember that you are not investigators. You are to follow every instruction they give you and help them as they ask you to. If anything new comes up in the meantime you will be recalled and assigned to new duties. Dismissed officers."
"Thanks sir."
"The only reason I am allowing this is because you two are my most efficient officers."
They both looked at eachother surprised of the compliment.
"And if you tell anyone I said that we are going to have serious problem."
"Yes Sir. Thank you Sir."
They took their stuff and went back to the lobby where they took the corner that was leading to the investigation office.
The office was one of the largest in the precinct, larger than that of the chief or any lieutenant. It needed the space because there was a multitude of boards destined to have picture pinned on them as well as many cabinet that housed a large number of files on suspects or crime scenes or any clues realy. There were also some equipment like small non powerful microscope and scanners that digitalized images, but the majority of the big equipment was in the lab in the basement. In the office there were two desks for the investigators. One had written Porkins on it the other one Coon. Coon was technically the investigator in charge of the two but everybody knew that was a formality. The pig and the raccoon were good friends and they considered themselves equals. Both animals were seated behind their respective desk looking at their computer. The accounts of the investigators were directly connected to the ZPD data bank as too make it easier for them to identify recidivating criminals. None of them looked up when the two friends walked in. They were way too busy looking in the archives for something. Both were dressed in a similar way. They had white shirts with their leather shoulder holster on. Their weapons however, were not in them but sitting on their desk next to their badge.
"Hey guys how is it going?" Said Nick but no one responded.
"Hum... Bogo sent us he said you could use some help."
A "hmm" was the only response that came from the raccoon.
"Care to walk us through the case?" asked Judy.
"Sigh. Fine starting from the beginning could help us move forward."
"Yeah, like the three other times we did just that." It was the first time the pig spoke up.
"Shut up Porkins. Okay listen up I don't what to have to do this three more times." The raccoon spoke as he got up from his chair. At the same time officer Porkins diverted his attention from his computer to his colleague.
Coon walked to a big board where there were many photos pinned. He took one of them and handed it to the duo.
"This is our victim. James H. Po, a panda in his mid thirties, average height, average mass average everything. He has no family that we know off, and nobody reported him missing. Officers on patrol found him in downton away from his house in chinatown. The body was found in an old warehouse after people passing by complained of the smell. The autopsy estimated that he had already been dead for a week prior to his discovery."
Coon showed Nick and Judy photos of the crime scene which frankly turned their stomachs upside down. The corpse of the large panda had visibly started decaying. The photos were so repulsive, it was almost as if they could smell the body just by looking at it.
Porkins took over for his colleague. "He had in his possession his car keys and his wallet which was still full, nothing seemed to be missing."
"Nothing apart from the blood." Retorted the raccoon.
"Yes indeed, the cause of death seems to be due to bleed out from the wounds that you can see here."
There was many large open wounds covering the death body that could be seen on the photos Porkins was talking about. Coon continued with the exposee.
"The size and depths of these wounds suggest that they were inflicted by a large predator, however there is no trace of bites taken making it impossible to run a dental search."
Silence fell in the room as Nick and Judy were waiting for more details. None came however and they quickly realised that this was just as far as they went. So Judy then spoke up.
"There was no fur, marks or anything that could go through the data base on the crime scene?"
"No." Responded the detectives in unison.
"And since there was no sign of blood or violence there I assume the body was moved."
"Exactly."
"So the killer or killers…"
"Killer." interrupted Coon. "All the cuts were of same size, depth and shape. Even for two individuals of the same species claws this similar would be way to big of a coincidence to be from two different persson."
"OK, so the killer attacks our victim, but without using his mouth which would have allowed us to track him."
Nick took the lead, seeing where Judy was going. "Then he gets in some kind of suit or something which prevents him to shed on the victim or the crime scene and moves the body from it's original location."
"This was a premeditated crime!" Said Judy.
"That's what we're thinking." Responded Porkins.
Coon then followed. "We went to his apartment and talked to people but nobody there seems to know him. The only reason we know that it truly is his apartement is that his name is on the rent. Right now we have exhausted all our options and we are looking for large predator living in the same area than our victim that could hold a grudge against pandas. If we don't find anything we are going to have to close the case and put it with the rest of the unsolved ones."
"What about this tattoo?"
The voice came from Nick who had separated himself from the group to examine some photos. The one that he was holding documented a tattoo situated a bit lower than the panda's armpit. The tattoo was a diamond shape black figure with a circle inside.
"We searched for it in the database to see if it matched to any gang sign but nothing came out."
"We also went to every nearby tattoo parlor but none of them want to talk with cops." Followed Porkins.
"I know a friend who is a tattoo artist. He may not be in the same area of town but at least I could show him the picture, maybe he can recognize who is the artist or at least tell me what it means."
"Thats a great idea. Me and Nick will go see his friend while you two continue looking in the database."
"Goodluck. I don't have much hope for this case anymore." Said the raccoon as he went back on his computer visibly bored and annoyed.
Judy and Nick walked out of the office side by side. They advised Clawhauser they were going out and taking a SUV. Then they headed for the garage.
"So where is this friend of yours?"
"He works not far away from where I live, I'll drive there."
Judy had wondered for a long time now what the place Nick lived in might look like. She didn't want it to be known but she was quite excited.
"So where were we?" Asked Nick interrupting her thoughts.
"What?"
"Ah common carrots have you already forgotten or are you simply too afraid and want to back down?"
"What are you talking about?"
"The bet."
"Oh I am all in, the Snows will beat the shit out off the boogies."
"Yhea in your dreams. So what do you propose as reward for the winner. Aka me."
"Take that grin off your face you sly fox. You have no chance to win."
"Is that so? Then you won't have a problem with high stakes."
"Listen, you have the choice between losing a little or losing a lot, you decide."
"A lot. So do you have something in mind?"
"No not yet."
"Well we still have about half an hour drive to until we get there so you have time to think about it."
"And you do you have an idea?"
"Humm let's see…"
Nick thought about it for a long time. He didn't really need or want a thing in particular, he knew that Judy didn't have much either anyway. Therefore, if he was going to get something out of her it would be an action, something that she wouldn't do if it wasn't for a lost bet.
"If I win, you will have to dress up as a fox and be my little fox for one day."
"What do you mean be 'your' fox?"
"You'll have to do everything I say."
"Is that how it is? Fine then! WHEN I win you will have to… humm…"
"Want more time to think it through carrots?"
"Shut up and yes please."
"Alright, just don't be too slow we wouldn't want the game to be over before you make a choice. Dumb bunny."
"Dumb fox."
They both laugh at their nickname and continued their travel in a relative silence. It wasn't an awkward silence taugh. It was more of a comfortable one, Nick was smiling to himself at the prospect of seeing his partner dressed up and being "his little fox". On her side, Judy was busy trying to come up with a way to get at Nick. It wasn't every day she had the option to make him do what she wanted and she needed to be sure she would get the most out of it. But unfortunately inspiration did not come to here then and before long they had arrived in the street where the tattoo parlor was.
"Is this the street you live in?"
Judy was surprised at the level of apparent poverty. She knew Nick had a hard life as a con artist trying to survive every day off of shady deals and tricking people. But seeing this now like that made her feel sad for him and she realized how lucky she was to be born in a respected family in bunny's burrow.
"No not the exact same street but a similar one only two blocks away. There we are, this is the place."
Across the street stood a very dirty building that made judy doubt the sanitation requirement for this kind of establishment were met.
"So you're coming or are you just going to stare?"
Nick was already outside looking at her through his sunglasses. When they entered the shop it seemed to be empty. No one was at the front desk and they couldn't hear any sound from the back store. Nick screamed.
"Dave are you there?"
"Nick! Nick is that you?"
Sounds could now be heard from the back store coming to the front of the shop.
"Have you finally changed your mind and decided to get a ta…"
The fat fox stopped in his track when he saw Nick wearing his ZPD uniform. He looked a bit older than his law enforcement homologue and time had clearly not been on his side. He looked in poor health, he was fat and covered with tattoos.
"You're…"
Nick took of his glasses and smiled, finding obviously funny the reaction of his old friend.
"Suprise! Long time no see Dave!"
"You're a cop?"
"Yep."
The expression of surprise on the face of the fox called Dave quickly changed to one of worry. Seeing this Nick chuckled to himself and reassured his friend.
"Don't worry I wasn't some kind of undercover cop or anything. I just graduated from police academy a few months ago."
"Why are you here?" The answer came quickly and quit dryly, it was obvious that Dave didn't fully trust police officers even if one of them used to be his friend.
"Dave calm down it's me, the same old Nick only wearing different clothes."
"And a badge!" retorted the fat fox.
"Sigh. We are looking into a murder case and our victim had a strange tattoo under his left armpit. I thought you could take a look at it and tell us what it means or if you know from which artist it is."
"No can do."
"What? Why not?"
"Are you kidding me Nick? You know what my clientele is like. Most of them don't really get along too well with the cops let's say and you, you come in here in police uniform. What do you think they are going to say if someone finds out I have been talking to the cops?"
"You can just say the big bad copers were harassing you and you told them to go screw themselves. Common buddy it's me!"
"And what about her, I don't know her."
Dave looked at Judy, acknowledging her existence for the first time since they entered the shop.
"Ha yes, I didn't do the presentation. Judy, this is Dave an old friend of mine and associate at times. Dave, this is Judy my partner and trustworthy friend."
"Hi." Said timidly Judy.
"Mmgh! I am sorry Nick but I really can't help you."
Dave was turning his back and prepared to leave the front of the shop when Nick called him.
"Wait! Dave do you remember… the thing?"
Dave stopped in his track and turned to face them. He looked quite annoyed with the whole situation.
"Yes I remember the thing."
"So will you help us?"
"Fine I will talk, but only to you."
"No every thing you can say to me, you can say to her. She is trustworthy I promise you."
Dave looked at her for a while like he was silently judging her.
"If I help you we are equal."
"Promise."
"Sigh. Okay but we'll talk in the back store I don't want anyone passing by seeing us talk."
Dave went to his front door, locked it and turned the sign that said open so that it could display closed. Then he went with the two officers in the back store.
"Okay, show me what you got."
Nick handed him the picture.
"It was under a panda's left armpit. Do you know who made it?"
"No the symbol is to simple, anyone with a calque can make that."
"Then do you know what it means?"
"I have never seen this symbol before. I don't think it means anything really it might just be… Wait no that doesn't make sense."
"What is it?"
"Well, the symbol doesn't represent anything that I know off, but it is too simple to be a meaningless drawing. Your panda got this tattoo for a reason, it has a story behind it but…"
"But… What?" Asked Judy now getting impatient.
"Normally if a simple tattoo like that has no apparent meaning I would suggest it's a sign. Probably some sort of gang sign/identification."
"But the guys at the office already looked into that. There is no matching gang sign anywhere in the ZPD database." Added Judy.
"That's the problem, the location. Normally you would wear a gang sign in a place other people can see. This way your fellow gang members can identify you as a brother easily. It also acts as a deterrent. People are less likely to attack you if they know you belong in a gang. But your panda has his tattoo under his armpit where it is almost impossible to see."
"So what are you suggesting?" Said Nick. He already had an idea of where this was going.
"Well my best guess is that the gang to which your victim was a part of are keen on keeping a low profile. They obviously don't want people to know their existence."
"Dave are you saying you believe this is some kind of secret society nonsense?"
"Secret society might be a bit over dramatic. But I am saying that you are dealing with a group of people that want to keep a low profile. So yeah basically."
"Okay." Said Nick. "Can you tell us anything more?"
"I'm sorry, this is the best I can do."
"Fine, thanks for helping us."
"Yeah, just don't ever walk in here wearing police uniform ever again."
The cop duo went for the exit when they got called out.
"Oh and Nick! I will still give you that tattoo if you ever change your mind."
"Not going to happen. Bye Dave."
"So…" Judy asked as they were heading for the police SUV. "How do you know Dave?"
"He and I were con partners way back when. He saved up the money and bought this tattoo parlor to get a legit job. I much preferred the hustling life."
It made Judy laugh internally. She remembered the Nick he was when they first met. It got here wondering, what made him want to have a legit job this time taugh? Her thoughts were interrupted when Nick stepped in a dirty puddle.
"No! Damn it my shoes! They are ruined now."
This made the wheels inside her head turn and she was struck with an idea as they entered the police car.
"I KNOW!"
"What, you got an idea for the case?"
"No, for the bet."
Nick laughed.
"Okay spit it out."
"So WHEN I do win, you'll have to abstain washing for a week."
Nick was taken aback by her proposal. He didn't expect her to say that nor did he knew why would she even want that.
"Fine, you got yourself a deal."
They shook paws and drove off to the police station. Judy knew that the simple fact of him not washing wouldn't give her much fun directly. However, she also knew that after a few days it would drive Nick mad. He was always making sure he was perfectly clean and she was sure that he would not be able to stand feeling dirty. That was what she was waiting for. Watching him go nuts about hygiene would probably be the funniest thing she ever saw.
"So what was the 'thing' you were talking about."
"When Dave and I were hustling on the streets I may or may not have saved his sorry ass from a gang beatdown. He owed me one and I never asked for anything from him until now."
The arrived at the police station with less information than they would have hoped, but at least they had something. When they entered the investigation office both Coon and Porkins looked up from their computer rapidly. They were eager for any kind of change in the case that became cold for a week now. Judy and Nick began to tell them what they learned. The information was disappointing even though it was surprising. Knowing that the victim was part of a gang they couldn't trace didn't really help further the case.
"Well, I think we are going to have to close this one." Said Coon. "thanks again for the help guys. At least you made it a little bit less boring."
"We are going to have to start filling the paperworks Coon."
"Yeah it's going to be a long night."
…
"Attention all ZPD officers in the area of Ivy avenue." Came the voice of Clawhauser over the dispatch radio. "There has been sighting of trespassing in an abandoned factory."
"Central this is officer Honey and Stripe, we are in the area." Said the bear.
"Roger Honey and Stripe, please investigate the following location."
The bear and the zebra drove their police patrol car to the abandoned factory. It was still dark outside but if you looked closely to the horizon you could see the first dim lights of the rising sun. Their night shift was soon going to be over and they could go home. First taugh they had to handle what was probably drunk teenagers trespassing. Hopefully they wouldn't put too much of a resistance and would be able to go with a simple warning. Otherwise they would have to be escorted to the station and that meant more paperwork for them before leaving.
It was so dark when they entered the building they had to guide themselves with their flashlights.
"Hey Honey, you see anything?"
"No, just some dust and a pile of… hold on a second."
The bear went closer to what seemed to be a random pile on the floor. When he was close enough to fully see what it was he took a few step back.
"Shit! Stripe call central NOW!"
Oooh, cliffhanger! What did those two totally random police characters found? Will our favorite cop duo find who is the murderer? Will the Snows or the Boogies win the game. And more importantly will the writer be able to find more lazy animal pun names? Find out next time. (Not really, the next chapter won't answer all these questions. For that you will have to read even more. Muhahahaha!)
