From the private screening room in Castle Dedede, the self-proclaimed King of Dreamland and his assistant previewed content for the kingdom's upcoming television service. The king's scowl grew more pronounced with each passing ad and bumper on the reel, each of them resembling a Dadaist creation filled with loops, stutters, pitch shifts, and hue spectrum cycles. If he had clenched is fists any tighter, the gold on the arm rests of his throne would bend like clay from his grip. "WHAT'S ALL DIS SUPPOSED TA BE?" Dedede could no longer suppress his rage and yelled from the top of his lungs.
"I don't know," Escargoon said as calmly as he could to hide his fear. "But I'm sure the Waddle Dees will eventually get it together, Highness."
"We're tryin' ta brainwash the Cappies, not throw an epileptic disco rave!" Dedede grabbed Escargoon by the eye stocks and sped out of the screening room with the snail servant crying out in pain.
The King slammed a button on his armrest as his throne screeched to a halt in the middle of the throne room. The floor and ceiling in the middle of the immense room split open, and a platform rose from the floor as an array of wires and antennae descended from the ceiling. A section of the wall flipped over, revealing a giant monitor flickering on. "Hey, Triple D!" A sinister looking gentleman with green and purple hair wearing a formal suit and yellow sunglasses greeted the duo. "You're looking quite livid today!"
"Cut the smooth talk and send me a video editor!" Dedede snapped. "My TV channel launches in two days, and them Waddle Dees can't tell a chroma key from a piano key!"
"So much for pulling off this scheme without the help of that fast talking salesman," Escargoon, rubbing his eye stocks, muttered silently so the king wouldn't hear him.
"Well we specialize in demon beasts," Customer Service rubbed his chin. "But I believe we can lend you one of our technicians from our media department. For a small monthly fee of course."
"Well what're you waitin' for? Send him over!"
"I will send one of our editors over as soon as possible, your highness," Customer Service waved his hands nervously. "But unlike your typical demon beast transactions, NME employee relocation process takes some time."
"You thievin' con artist!" the king barked at Customer Service. "I need him now!"
"Are you sure this is necessary, sire?" Escargoon protested. "The Waddle Dees are fast learners." He flinched as soon as his boss raised his fist, threatening to pound him again.
"We ain't got time! They had their chance and they fluboozled it!"
"Keep your hat on, King," The salesman began to sweat profusely. "And I promise the arrangements will be made within the hour. Ta ta!" The monitor flickered off, leaving the impatient penguin fuming.
The rhythmic beeps of a cell phone filled the small dormitory aboard a space station many light years from Popstar. A long slender hand reached out for the phone that pierced her void of sleep. She stretched her limbs, groaning tiredly as she rolled out of bed and approached the small bathroom area to wash up for the day. Or maybe it was evening? In deep space, day and night all seemed the same. Once she finished dressing, she headed out the door with a breakfast bar in her hand. As she walked down the hallway, she heard someone behind her call out her name. She turned to join her co-worker and gossiped with him on their trek toward the tram that would take them to their workstations. Each day was the same routine, but she couldn't complain; the big boss would not tolerate insubordination. She was bracing herself for another normal day at the office when she received a call from a friend of hers in customer service. She dug out her cell phone from her pocket and pressed a button to take the call.
"Hey, Dan. What's new? …a favor? Sure, what do ya need? …what?! …You want me to work for him?!"
"…Okay," the disgruntled female sighed. "But I'm only doing this because I owe you one."
"I'll be there within the hour." She ended her call, groaning loudly. Out of all the video techs at NME, why did Dan choose her for this job? The likely explanation was that she was the only one he knew that would take such a gig. If there was such a thing as reverse karma, it just came and bit her in the rear. She sometimes wondered why she even bothered being nice.
"What was that about?" her co-worker asked.
"Oh, Dan just volunteered me to edit videos for his client in Dream Land."
"The bloated penguin?" The co-worker joked. "What in Nightmare's name did you do to deserve that?"
Fifty minutes later, Dedede and Escargoon were settled on the floor next to the throne, playing a game of cards. Escargoon played his hand and then Dedede proceeded to play his own, laughing heartily. "Is that all ya got, Slug?" The king held his cards out in front of his servant. "Read 'em and weep, creep!"
Escargoon eyed the cards skeptically. His boss' hand consisted of a bunch of random cards that would mean nothing in any card game. The truth of the matter was that it didn't matter what game they played because the only rule was that the king always wins. "I still say you're cheating," the unamused snail murmured regardless.
The monitor turned itself back on and Customer Service reappeared, grinning smugly. "Sorry to keep you waiting, Highness. Your editor is on the way."
"Took ya long enough!" the king crossed his arms with a huff.
A surge of electricity burst from the teleportation device, briefly blinding Dedede and Escargoon. Once their eyes readjusted as the flash dimmed, they made out the figure of a young woman with lavender skin and pointed ears, holding a couple handbags strapped over her shoulders. Her long, wavy hair was tied back in a ponytail, and was a very light blue that appeared almost white. She jumped off the teleportation platform and turned to the monitor. "Promise me you'll hold your end of our agreement?"
"Of course, but first, I believe some formalities are in order. Allow me to introduce you to his highness, King Dedede and his assistant, Escargoon. Your highness, meet your new editor!"
"It's a pleasure to meet you, your majesty." the girl bowed. "I'm Avina, and I'm here to help get your TV service up and running."
"It's not polite to stare, Highness." Escargoon elbowed the king.
"It's the legs, right?" Avina placed a hand on her hip. Her legs were medium in length, and slender with little curveage. "Not very many life forms on this side of the galaxy evolved them for some reason."
"Avina is one of our top media technicians." Customer Service spoke while holograms showcasing various video clips appeared behind him. "You may recognize her work from various promotional items like these on our galactic satellite services." Dedede and Escargoon watched the clipshow in the background looking fairly impressed. "And since she is not a monster, no charge will be made to your account, with the exception of a small monthly fee, of course."
"Oh, I'm a monster alright," Avina grinned playfully. "Just not the demon beast variety that you sell!"
"Well now," the towering king approached the editor with a sinister grin. "Y'all think you're up for this colossomal task, girleh?"
"Bring it on, Highness," Avina returned the gesture with a confident smirk.
Dedede laughed. "The gal's got spunk!"
"Alright, missy, we got a schedule to keep," Escargoon snapped. "So keep the wise cracks to yourself and follow me!" Dedede and Escargoon led Avina out of the throne room as a caped figure watched behind a column from the shadows.
Customer Service bade the editor good bye with a smirk. "Go easy on D-Man and Escargoon, Avina!"
After a long descent to the studio in the dungeon, with the king outlining some rules around the castle and briefing the video editor on her task in his own self-absorbed fashion, Escargoon gestured to what appeared to be a rather dated PC in the corner. "All the footage is in that computer other there. If you need any assistance, some Waddle Dees will be standing by."
Avina scanned the studio, examining the monitors and switchboards, and eventually approached the old computer, staring at it skeptically. "That thing?"
Escargoon spoke quietly to the editor out of Dedede's earshot. "His highness is a tight wad when he's not splurging on monsters. Take it or leave it!"
'Good thing I brought my laptop,' Avina thought to herself as she laid her computer case on the desk next to the computer. "So, where will I be staying?"
"Say what?" The king raised an eyebrow.
"You did review the contract, right?" Avina sighed. She took out a print out of the form from her bag and read. "It states that the client must provide room and board for the Nightmare Enterprises employee for the duration that he or she serves the client on-site."
"Let me look at that!" Escargoon snatched the sheet of paper from Avina's hands to inspect the contract. "She's right, your majesty."
"WHAT KIND OF SHAMBOOZLE ARE YOU SWINDLIFIERS TRYIN TO PULL?" The king yelled.
"I don't make the rules, your majesty," Avina struggled to stifle a giggle. Dan mentioned the king's fiery temper, and she found the penguin's malapropisms, for lack of a better term, very amusing.
The king glared daggers. "Just for that wise remark, you can sleep on the studio floor for all I care!"
"Sire, I don't think—" Escargoon sighed as the king marched out. "I'll dispatch some Waddle Dees to prepare a room for you."
"You're a miracle worker, Escargoon," Avina plopped into the swivel chair at the computer. "How do you put up with that guy on a daily basis?"
"Samo makes a really good lemon drop in town."
"YA COMIN, ESCARGOON?" Dedede's booming voice echoed down the corridors.
"Coming, Sire!" the snail rushed out of the studio.
