Here Without You
It had been a rough day and he was exhausted. He didn't even know what time it was but he was sure it was almost midnight. He pulled his phone out of his pocket to check the time and the notification on the screen caught his attention. One unread message. He unlocked the phone and hit the message icon. The message, only two words, was from her.
Call us.
For a few seconds he panicked and wondered if something was wrong but he knew she would have tried to called him if it was urgent and needed him.
He checked the time, it was past midnight and she'd sent the message a few hours earlier. The last thing he wanted to do was wake her, she'd be waking up soon enough anyway and he knew how precious sleep was to her these days.
He didn't want her to think he was avoiding her. He called her at least once a day but he hadn't been able to speak to her for a few days now because of his busy schedule and other responsibilities, so he replied with a message.
Sorry hon, just saw your message. Don't wanna wake you so I'll call in the morning. Promise.
A few seconds later his phone vibrated.
Still awake. Can you talk?
He tip-toed out of the bedroom and headed towards his 'man cave' where he knew he wouldn't be interrupted or heard. He'd already hit dial before the door was locked.
She answered the video call right away with a huge smile, "Hey babe. Wow, you look like hell. Long day?"
He leaned back into his chair with a sigh and nodded, "Hey yourself. What are you doing up so late?" He replied with a smile. As tired as he was, it was hard not to smile whenever he heard her voice, or saw her in person or on his screen. She looked so beautiful. Even more beautiful than the last time he'd seen her, which had been quite a while. He'd been away for weeks which was a first, and he missed them both terribly.
"Devan doesn't feel like sleeping, he's wide awake and wants to play." She yawned. "Looks like we're both going to be pulling an all nighter. But I think he just misses his daddy."
"I miss you both too." He sighed, looking around for any sign that the infant was nearby, "where is he?"
"I fed him a while ago and since he wasn't fussing, I left him to play in his crib while I put a load of laundry on. Might as well get something done if I'm going to be staying up all night." She stated before changing the subject, "I didn't expect you to call tonight."
"I wasn't going to, but when I got your reply, I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep without talking to you first."
"I'm gonna go get Devan," she said, suddenly excited, "we have something we've been dying to show you."
She threw her tablet onto the couch and headed towards the bedroom. Her tablet landed face down so he couldn't see anything but he could hear her feet padding on the floor as she rushed into her bedroom to bring their five month old son back into the living room.
He was the spitting image of his mother. They were lucky enough to have dodged that bullet. Ever since the rumors, then news of her pregnancy was out, the press had been trying to guess who the father was. His name had come up in several articles but without any proof or confirmation from either of them, it was only speculation which had died down eventually until Devan was born. There were only a few people who knew he was the father, and they were very close and trusted friends.
He heard their voices as she came back into the living room with their son. She was mumbling something to their son and he was cooing in response. When she was closer to the tablet he could hear her asking Devan if he wanted to talk to daddy, and then he heard his son's giggles as she put him down. "We have something to show daddy, haven't we sweetie?"
She picked the tablet back up and grinned at him. "Are you ready?"
"As ready as I'll ever be."
She plopped down on the couch next to their baby boy who was sitting upright in the corner wearing a furry grey robe with a bunny face on the hood. "So what do you think?"
Of course she'd go off and buy something ridiculously cute for their son. And he couldn't deny that he looked adorable in it. And suddenly, he wished more than anything that he was there with the love of his life and his baby boy. "I love it." He replied. "You will be sending me a photo of him in that outfit? Better still, make it a photo of the both of together."
"Anything for you, my love." She winked.
He turned his attention back to his son who was trying to grab at the tablet. "Hey buddy," he said in a soft voice he only used for him, "daddy's missed you so much."
She picked him up with her free arm and sat Devan in her lap so he could get a better view of them both together. "And he's missed his daddy too, haven't you baby? We both have."
Watching them both right now on his screen, he wished he was there with them. He wanted to hold them both in his arms, wanted to put his son to bed and kiss him goodnight. He wished he wa there so she could get some much needed rest while he stayed up with their son all night. He missed changing his dirty diapers and giving him his daily bath. He knew, out of experience, how hard it was raising a child, and here she was doing it all on her own without him by her side.
The pang of guilt he was feeling earlier was back. Even though he tried his best to talk to them every day, it wasn't the same as being there with them. He knew she understood, because she never pressured him or complained about his extended absences, but he was missing out on so much. His son was growing fast and he wasn't there to enjoy the small moments with her. She made sure to record everything for him, but watching the videos wasn't the same as being there with them and that made his heart ache.
"Hey babe, what's wrong?" The sound of her voice brought him back to reality.
"I just… I wish I could be there with the both of you." He faltered, "You know I would if I could."
"I know hon. Don't worry about us, we're keeping each other company until we get to see you again. Aren't we my angel?"
"One more week and I'll be holding you both in my arms." He reminded her before Devan started to fuss rubbing his eyes. "Looks like someone's finally ready to sleep."
"Finally!" She adjusted their baby in her lap to a more comfortable position and kissed his cheek, "Say night night to daddy."
"Goodnight buddy, I love you more than you'll ever know." He said blowing them both a kiss.
She kissed their son a second time, "This kiss is from daddy." She turned her attention back to the tablet. "Night babe. I love you."
"I love you too. Sweet dreams." She blew him a kiss before ending the call.
He sat there staring at the blank screen. Suddenly a week felt like an eternity.
Fin
