Chapter 1.
My mind starts to drift into the hazy land of my dreams, well more like nightmares ever since The Star fell from the sky. I'm taken to a giant maze where an evil space hound is waiting for me again with his giant teeth that are made of dark-matter that is found in space which is dangerous. He snarls at me with his giant maw and snaps at me with his dark-matter teeth causing me to jump backwards but I forgot that I was in space so it was zero gravity and I started flying into the space. Then I froze in the deep cold darkness of space. My vision began to become as the darkness of space as I wondered if this is how I will die.
"YOU IDIOT WAKE UP WE'RE LEAVING!" Gwen shouted from the van. Gwen then threw up because she was pregnant with an alien baby. Our parents disowned us after they found out Swampfire and her had a babe. Suddenly, as I was walking toward the van, anti-spiderman flew from the sky and landed on the tree that I was just sleeping under. The tree then burst into flames and the black figure (him having a black costume isn't the thing making him evil because that would be a racist, that just happened to be the color of his costume [Marvel ® all rights reserved.]) jumped on top of the van as Gwen screamed then threw up on his face.
"ARG gross!" he shouted, "now I will destroy you Rekap!" I looked at the omnitrix on my wrist. The omitrix is the weird contraption that Gwen and I found in The Star when it fell. It has the power to turn me into whatever alien I want but only ten at a time or else the show would not be called Ben 10 but not in this universe because in this universe my name is Retep Rekap.
Five year later
"WAHHH" the crying of the swampfire baby cried out in the night. The baby swampfire spit fire everywhere causing smoke to turn out the smoke detectors and having water rain everywhere in the apartment. If the baby was a normal human like me and Gwen it would 4 year old making it a toddler but swampfire age slowly so it's still a bab.
"SHUT UP!" yelled swampfire baby abusive father, myself.
I picked up the stupid helpless innocent creature and hurled it into a wall, killing it. Then it died.
"Retep!" yelled Gwen "Why did you do that to our baby!"
"Fuck you bich!" Then i ran into the forest where i saw a big spider.
"Whoa! What is that spider!" Then the spider snarled with its big hairy spider mouth and shoot at me its acid spidey venom at my face but I dodgd out of its way and hit my onmitrix but it didnt work because the acid spidey vemon hit it then the huge spider jumpt so far that it leaped onto my neck and biting me. Suddednyl I was no longer retep rekrap i was a codename for PERET ER PAREEKR! Then I realized that that was a really stupid name, so i became Peter Parker.
Suddenly a wild black spiderman appeared!
"PETER!"
"BLACKMAN! HOW DID YOU KNOW MY SECRET NAME!?" asked I, shockingly?
"HOW DID YOU KNOW MY LAST NAME?!" asked blackman.
"WHAT"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT YOU SAID MY LAST NAME, BARNES"
"NO I DIDN'T"
"YES YOU DID"
"WHAT? WAIT ARE YOU CHRISTIPHOR DANIEL BARNES? MY SCHOOL BULLY?!" I asked?
"WAIT WHAT NO WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT?! Yes peter i have a confession to make i have always loved you. But you have to die. You are the lifeline of something bigger than you. If i kill you, then the beast dies. You are its only life force. I might destroy everything I've ever known along with you, but it'll be worth it to save the world from this atrocity. "
"... WHAT!?" tl;dr
Suddenly after blackmans monologue Gwen ran out of the apartment and fell out of the window then came into the woods that we were in.
"I just got a call that grandpa died now we can finally get his inheritance
and married because he wouldnt let us."
"SORRY CHRISTOPHOR GOTTA BLAST" and then i was jimmy neutron and i ran away on my rocket boots that i built in my garage with my big head. But I wasn't jimmy neutron or ben 10 i was still peter parker i just had all theyre stuff.
But as i was blasting through the air and flying i noticed that the spider that bite me was still on my neck hitting on one of my moles.
"Thats gross!" I told it. Then it made an angry hissing noise and transformed into a really fat old man dressed like blackman.
"BLACKMAN ! YOU NEED TO- WHERES blackman!" said the fat old man
"I'm ben 10 i mean jimmy neutron i mean retep rekrap i mean peter parker. blackman's back that way" i said
"OH SHUCKS I BETTER GO" and then he ran but he couldn't he was to fat.
"Wow that was very strange" i said as i realized i had to go to school because i had a test that day about sex in health class but i already know everything about sex because i had a baby but then i killed it. And that's when it hit me maybe i should go to health class so i dont kill another baby but then i was like, what's this watch do that i put on 5 years ago and i slapped it for some reason and then i was an OUTER SPACE ALIOEAN!
"WOAH IS THAT NEPTUNE!" i said as i blasted onto the planets surface. Then the surface of the planet neptune turned into that one dream I had 5 years ago with the space hound with dark matter teeth. Then i was like "spider web go" and i covered up is mouth with gross spidey web. Then old fat man showed up with gwen and she was tied up!
"I should have done with 70 years ago!" Blackman said as he took his man boobs and shoved them in her face until she died of suffocation. Young blackman said "NOOOOOOOO" and he shot his fat old man self with an ak-47 rifle 67 times in the right shoulder blade. Then he died of age.
But his last words were "Listen to me young blackman you have to marry the one you love. You have to right now or else you'll be like me and die and you'll live a lonely life in the universe where The Hound is released."
Then blackman grunted and said, "I don't want to live in this universe. I don't care what's in it."
Then blackman used his superpowers to use a gun to shoot me and I DIED! Then he took Gwen back to life from no air and brought her to earth. THE END!
