Broken Hearted
Author: Louise Mills
Rating: PG
Author's Notes: This is something I wrote in between my Ancients Guardians Story, which at the moment I am having problems writing one scene. But hopefully I will have the problem sorted out soon and will post the next chapter within the next couple of weeks. This story is set after the episode they find out from the copy of Elizabeth the original had died.
Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate: Atlantis and profit from this story.
"Rodney!" John shouted startling the scientist, whom was working under a big console, causing him to bump his head hard against the bottom of the console. John covered his hand over his mouth trying to stop the laughter that was threatening to burst from his lips. He quickly regained his composure before Rodney decided to greet him face to face.
"What?" Rodney said shortly at John, still rubbing his sole head.
"Nothing really…" John started to utter before Rodney interrupted.
"Nothing, you come in here shouting about the place, causing me harm for nothing." He exclaimed, frustrated with 'Captain Kirk' of the Pegasus Galaxy for interrupting his work and causing him harm.
John just stared straight into Rodney's eyes with a bemused expression on his features.
"What are you staring at?" Rodney asked after a few minutes of silence, he looked around making sure there wasn't anything in the room other them him, that John could be starring at.
"Can I finish what I was going to say now?" John asked.
"Sure!" Rodney uttered.
"So I was wondering if you wanted to get a bite to eat?" John finished his sentence that he began minutes before.
"Sorry?"
"I said…"
"I heard what you said." Rodney interrupted. "I just can't believe what I'm hearing." He continued.
"Why?" John asked.
"Why! He asks why! Maybe because in the last few weeks you have been seclude, hardly eating or sleeping and while off world you have been distracted and hardly been your usual Captain Kirk self. This is the first time you have asked for company in weeks. Actually I wouldn't be surprised you have been ordered to eat. As it does look like you have lost some weight." Rodney answered, worried for his friend and thinking about what could have happen that made John change, he hadn't realised John had been talking until he heard the closing of John sentence.
"…It's just been hard." John finished his heart-felt explanation. Rodney stared, John was confused Rodney looked blank, 'he shouldn't after what I just said' he thought.
"You didn't hear anything I just said, did you?"
"To be honest I was trying to work out what caused you to change in the last few weeks. I only caught 'It's just been hard'. Actually I think I just figured it out! When we were finally told Elizabeth had died." He said excited that he figure it out, but his joyous expression fell when he saw a flash of pain run though John's eyes. 'What the hell was that' he screamed he his mind.
"John what's going on?" Rodney asked.
"Nothing, absolutely nothing." He answered.
"I know there nothing going on now, what I meant to say was, what was going on? …Between you and. …Elizabeth?" He asked slightly hysterical.
"Rodney, just leave it alone." He voiced loudly.
"I will not, were you and Elizabeth…" He asked, not able to finish his question.
"Rodney, please." He said, his voice slightly cracking.
"Okay, Okay." Rodney stated calmly, while holding up his hands. "You need to eat!" Rodney continued.
"I'm not hungry anymore." John answered softly. Rodney had only just heard him.
"John you may not be hungry, but your body's screaming out for some food." Rodney uttered, trying to be careful about what he said to his friend that was obviously in pain. "How about I get some food and I meet you in your quarters and we can talk?" Rodney asked. John nodded to head in acceptance.
The minute John got back to his quarters, he realised he had agreed to talk to Rodney about him and Elizabeth. He didn't want to talk, but realised sometime last night he needed to talk. Also knew Elizabeth wouldn't want him to be this affected by her death.
"Hard luck there ever." He muttered to himself in the silent room.
"Am I really going to do this?" He questioned himself out loud. It was hard for him to believe he would talk, as for the pass 18 months him & Elizabeth had been really good at hiding their relationship, any a few people knew, the important people at home, like the President and General O'Neill.
His door chimed, letting him know Rodney was here, he went to the door and open it to the scene of Rodney holding so much food that you could only just see his eyes.
"How the hell did you make it back from the mess hall with that much food? Sure you go enough?" He question, slightly amused.
"Well glad to see you have got your sense of humour back." Rodney stated flatly.
"You could help you know?" He question John.
"I know!" John uttered in return. Not getting up to help.
"I'm enjoying myself watching you juggle all that food."
Rodney had finally made his way to the table and dumped the food onto to it.
"Ha, ha, ha, funny." He stated sarcastically.
The silence was awkward for a while, Rodney realised he would have to ask questions, knowing John wouldn't just come out and talk.
He went to the table looking for the sandwich that would break the silence and start the talking. He picked up the sandwich and handed it to John.
"Eat!" He ordered.
A little Anxious John took the sandwich and realised it was Turkey.
"Turkey, wow thanks McKay didn't know you cared."
"Too much" Rodney stated. John just stared at him and after a while nodded his head in thanks and opened the sandwich and started eating. John made himself comfortable on his bed and Rodney on the chair by the table full of food.
"So I think the easiest way I see this going is do something like 20 questions, but with more questions hopefully." Rodney stated.
"I suppose." John answered hesitant. "Okay I can do that." John stated realising Rodney was right it was the easiest way and if you didn't want to answer he wouldn't.
"Okay so, were you and Elizabeth in a relationship?"
"Yes." He simply answered.
"Right okay, for how long?"
"18 months." John answered shocked Rodney. He couldn't believe he didn't notice before.
"18 months! And you kept that from us." Rodney uttered loudly.
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Come on Rodney, that's obvious we didn't want people to believe our relationship would some how effect how we ran Atlantis."
"Meaning IOA?" Rodney asked.
"Yes and a few people here."
"Did anyone know?" Rodney questioned. Suspecting someone did.
"Yes." He answered, not willing at the moment to say whom, I case it angered Rodney more.
"Who?"
"It doesn't matter McKay next question."
"Okay, don't tell me, but I will get back to that question. Was your relationship serious?"
"Yes."
"Oh come off it with the one word answers."
"Well ask a more depth question." He said, while getting up, going to the table and picked up a can of coke and some chocolate.
Rodney was glad to see his friend eating again. Once John had sat back down again he asked his next question.
"How serious were you? Were you sometime in the future going to take it to the next step?"
"If you mean by next step as in marriage. Then the answer would be, no, as it wasn't necessary."
"Wasn't necessary, how could you treat your relationship like one of your off world conquests. She wasn't some floozy you could throw to one side once you had all your fun." Rodney spoke loudly, defending Elizabeth's honour. Missing the point John was trying to get across. John couldn't believe he thought he could do that to Elizabeth.
"How could you think of me that way? Just so you know I haven't had a relationship off world since Elizabeth and me started out relationship. What I meant by wasn't necessary was because Elizabeth and me were already Married McKay." John erupted in angry. McKay stops still, not even breathing then he heard John's confession. Married was the only word vibrated disbelieving inside his head.
"Right, you were married!" He exclaimed. "There is no way you could keep that little detail from the IOA, with how we keep records back on Earth. Pull the other one John." He uttered, he couldn't believe John was trying to tell him that Elizabeth had married him. Seeing McKay reaction John became dishearten, knowing his best friend didn't believe him. He couldn't stand by and let McKay discredit his and Elizabeth relationship like that.
"Get out!" The uttered the silent anger.
"What?" Rodney asked in shock.
"I say get out, if you think you can continue to mock mine and Elizabeth relationship you can get out." He answered Rodney. Rodney couldn't remember John ever being so angry and serious at the same time.
"Your telling the truth, you were married?"
"Yes."
"Meaning you didn't just lose a friend or your boss. You lost your wife."
"Yes." His answered he voice starting the crack under his emotions.
"How did you keep that from the IOA? With the marriage certificates and records at home it should have been impossible."
"We know. But we had help from the right people."
"Like?" Rodney pressed. Glad John wasn't insisting he should still leave.
"The president and General O'Neill. Meaning Sam probably knows as well, even if she hasn't out right said she knows. But with the hints see been giving recently I think she knows. Sorry we didn't tell you Rodney, but we were told we couldn't tell anyone for a few years. Actually we were going to tell you and the team on our second anniversary. I suppose that will never happen now. I just can't believe I won't see her again. The last few weeks I think I have been trying to process that fact, it took a lot."
Silence fell across the room; it wasn't awkward this time. Rodney was glad John had told him, before the rest of the team. He knew Teyla would probably be more understanding, but he was still glad he was the first to know. It told him a lot about the friendship he had with John.
"So you want to watch a movie?" Rodney asked. Realising John wouldn't be talking about Elizabeth or their marriage again today. He looked towards the table with all the food and looked back at John.
"We can't let all this food go to waste." Rodney exclaimed. John laughed whole heartily.
"No we could never do that McKay, so SAW II?"
"Are you crazy? You just want me to have nightmare's don't you!" John laughed some more.
"Relax McKay I was joking."
John picked up half of the food and while McKay got the other half and they both walked out towards the recreation room discussing the movie they were going to watch. As they walked pass people they didn't noticed they smiles. They were happy that it seemed their Military Commander was starting to feel better.
End of story.
