Hate To See You Go
"BARTENDER, can I get two Vodka Martinis and a Sex on the Beach?" a tired voice rang clear out of the humdrum of the bar. There she was, dropping in again, not even paying attention to him. Her face was glowing from the screen of her phone.
A beauty that still knocks you off your feet and takes your breath away. He smiled.
It's been years.
And it's as if the years never happened. She still had the penchant to use red for her outfit, accented by her quirky jet black knickknacks. Her hair was tied up in a ponytail. Despite the casual way she wore it, she still garnered attention. The man beside her certainly noticed. The bartender gave him a scowl. When the interested man saw him, he raised his hands up in surrender, and walked back to dance floor.
The bartender went back to observing her.
Leggy. Tanned. Dangerous.
"What's taking so lo–"
Snap out of it. You're on duty.
"The Vodka Martinis I can give you now but the sex, you have to work for it," he said as he rounded up the ingredients.
"Don't get cute," she said before glancing up. Upon doing so, her jaw slackened and her eyes narrowed, phone forgotten. "You," she held up an accusatory finger.
"Me," he said happily.
"What the hell are you doing here?" she demanded.
"I work here. I thought it would be obvious since I'm behind the bar and I'm mixing your drinks." He grabbed the shaker and gave it a go before pouring the contents into two martini glasses. "So, back in Hillwood? How's celebrity life treating you, princess?"
She faked a smile and gave him the finger. He laughed.
"It's just peachy, alright? How's the pay in this place?"
He couldn't believe it. She was actually making conversation.
"I make do. I heard that we all can't say the same about you," he said with a quick smile. He knew he hit a nerve.
"Hmph," she pretended to ignore him, letting her eyes run through the crowd.
"I mean, not all of us could be supermodels. I just never had the bone structure for it."
She scowled and pulled some money out of her purse. "Will you just make it quick?"
"You know I always do," he said with a wink.
It was quite clear that she caught the double meaning as she snorted before going back to reading whatever it was on her phone. Again, he was the less interesting one. And now, it's doubly humiliating as he was bested by technology.
He made her last drink and she took them without incident after slamming some cash on the counter. Then, she disappeared into the throng of people, hazy from the flashing lights and smoke, out of his life once more.
Curly sighed.
RHONDA weaved through the crowd, elbowed an overly enthusiastic girl, raised her arms to protect the drinks and was breathless by the time she reached her table.
"You'd never guess who I bumped into," she said as she settled down into the plush velvet booth once more. Having a booth seat was always a luxury Rhonda enjoyed.
"Curly?" Nadine said, reaching for her martini. "I don't know why you want to order directly from the bar instead of asking the waiter, we are in the VIP section."
"I just wanted to scope the place out. See what they have, besides it's no big deal."
"Yeah, no big deal, that's why you're sweating like a crack whore in a police station right now."
Lila giggled before taking a sip.
"Nadine, language!" Rhonda said. "Wait, that wasn't the point. Backtrack, you know Curly works here?"
Both nodded.
"Works here? He owns the place," Nadine said before gulping her whole drink down.
"He owns it?" Rhonda asked, wanting to make sure she heard correctly.
"Are we going to play that game where you repeat everything I say? Because that game sucks. It's boring and annoying. Yes, he own this place. As in Curly. As in Thaddeus Gammelthorpe from elementary, middle and high school. As in the boy who was obsessed with you before and after adolescence."
"Your sarcasm is not appreciated. I was only asking, no need to get huffy."
"Sorry, but it's just Curly and we're twenty seven years-old, I thought you'd be over it by now," Nadine said as she eyed her.
It made Rhonda uncomfortable, as though her best friend could uncover her secrets with a single look.
Lila, on the other hand, was completely oblivious to it all. She chipped in.
"It's ever so impressive, don't you think?"
"What is?" the two girls said in unison.
"Owning a thriving business at this age."
Rhonda smirked. "It's a club."
"It's something. And a lot of young people visit it. Every night. Even tourists go here when they come to Hillwood. Can you just imagine how much this place earns in a month?" Nadine said before giving out a low whistle. She had a strangely amused smile on her face.
Rhonda let her eyes linger on her best friend's face. It was as if she knew something.
"I'd hate to say it but our Curly is on a fast track to becoming one of the most eligible bachelors in this town."
Rhonda frowned. She didn't want to discuss Curly and his personal life, she came out to have fun. She rarely gets the chance to be back in her hometown to see her friends. She didn't want to hear anymore. It always made her feel uneasy. The guilt…
"If he's so eligible, why is he still single?"
"He wasn't until recently," Nadine said, fixing her gaze on a gorgeous man that walked past them.
"What happened?"
Why'd you have to be so curious? Can't you just leave well enough alone, Rhonda?
Lila answered for her, Nadine was still focused on the man. "He broke up with her."
"Why?"
Lila shrugged. "He always does that when they hit the three-month period."
"Really? Why? What was she like?" Rhonda asked, cursing herself once again for continuing with the questions.
Tired of ogling, Nadine gave them back her attention. "Hot. Actually, she kind of looked like someone we knew."
Lila elbowed Nadine and she shut up. What was going on?
"They all do…"
Rhonda wasn't sure if it was her imagination or she heard Lila whispering to herself.
SHE was dancing on the podium.
He knew he was supposed to be working. The club was packed, it was definitely not the time to be distracted but he was. He so was. He kept getting drinks mixed up, spilling some of his expensive liquor, dropping shakers… It had to stop. Curly cannot keep watching her.
Just focus on your work. Idiot.
She swayed her hips. He almost chopped off his fingers instead of the lemon.
Goddamn it. Enough.
"Jim, Jim! I need Reggie to take over," he yelled over the loud thumping bass. He was relieved when Jim gave him the thumbs up without even looking at his direction.
"I'll get Andie to call him," Jim said as he passed by.
"Thanks, buddy."
He disappeared behind the backdoor. He let out a breath he didn't realised he had been holding. His head hit the door while he calmed down. The volume of the cacophony significantly died down as though he was somewhere far away. He could still feel the thump of the music. He savoured the rhythm, taking deep breaths.
Curly needed to get away from her. Just like old times, whenever she's around he gets sensory overload. It felt good to see her so happy though. That was always the goal, wasn't it? He knew that when he let her into his house during a torrential downpour in the middle of eighth grade.
I didn't know who to call. I didn't want to tell Nadine… I'm so embarrassed.
What is it?
My parents are getting a divorce.
No hesitation. Armed with a blanket, a cup of hot chocolate and a set of pyjamas his mother didn't wear anymore, he welcomed her. They talked a lot after that. On the phone, the internet, during class, after class… He didn't expect anything in return but it still hurt when she was fully healed from the scars of her parents' separation, she dated the guy he hated the most.
Chuck was a bully. He liked to pick on a lot of kids but Curly was his favourite.
He rubbed it in Curly's face that he was dating Rhonda. The whole school knew of his crush on her. Chuck tormented him with details of their sex life. It should have felt good that when Rhonda found out what her boyfriend had been doing, she dumped him. It didn't.
Rhonda had a thing for alpha males. So she moved on to another jerk. And another. And another. Before he knew it, graduation day had arrived. All that while Curly stood on the sidelines. Constant admirer and confidant. The laughingstock of Hillwood Prep.
The last day they saw each other was the worst. They sometimes fought, mostly about her choice in men, but it never escalated so quickly.
"What do you mean you're not going to California with me? You got accepted, didn't you?"
He had never seen her so livid. She was breathing heavily pressing a finger on his chest.
"Yeah, but… Brown's offering a scholarship. I can't turn them down."
The scholarship was great but it wasn't the reason he wasn't going to California with her. He didn't want to. He didn't want his whole life to be wasted wanting her. He decided it was best to put some distance between them. To forget about her and focus on the future. He didn't want to repeat his high school experience.
"So, you're going to Rhode Island? You're going to leave me on my own?" she yelled. Not only was she clearly angry, she was also near tears.
It took awhile for Curly to get it. Once he did, it made sense why she was reacting that way. She saw him going to Brown as a form of betrayal.
Just rip it like a bandaid, the voice in his head said.
"You're not the only one who can be selfish, Rhonda. I have a chance to pursue my dreams. You seriously think that I should go to Cali with you? How deluded is that?"
"You made plans with me!" She was already crying and it broke his heart but he turned to walk away. "We're not finished discussing this. Don't turn your back on me! Curly…"
She gripped his shirt and then tugged on his wrist. He had no choice but to respond.
"You. You made plans. I never said anything."
She let go of him. Stunned.
"You went along with those plans, you loved those plans," her voice broke.
He shook his head. "I never said I wanted to go to California with you. That was your dream. And you shared it with whoever was in between your legs."
She slapped him. He knew he deserved it. It didn't stop him. It wasn't enough, he had to push her away. Make her think this was her idea.
"First, you were going to bring Chuck. Then it was Michael, Ben… The list continues. You only want me to come along because it's convenient and you ran out of boyfriends."
The way she stood after he said that stuck with him. If he closed his eyes, he could still see her. Rhonda Lloyd in her most defeated form, head down, shoulders slumped, and her hands shaking by her sides.
"Go. I want you to get out of my sight," she whispered harshly.
"Gladly."
He left her finally realising something. He mattered to her greatly. However, it was never in the way that he wanted. Curly was lying to himself all along. He still expected her to love him.
RHONDA was on a great high.
The alcohol had certainly done the job. Everything was so beautiful. The colours flashed and the light whizzed all around. She put up her hands and wrapped her arms around a guy she'd never met before. She was the queen of the night, waving the complimentary glowsticks and showing off her dance moves.
He was a looker. Great smile, tall, jet-black hair and a crooked nose that could only have come from a fist fight. They swayed to the music. Two lost souls in a sea of dancers.
She didn't want to think about how her popularity was waning in the fashion world, how hard it has been to book a show or how it was a sucker punch seeing Curly again after all these years. And her selfishness. And her dependency on him during their teenage years. And her guilt.
Most of all, her secret love.
That was the hardest pill to swallow. She thought she had come to terms with it a long time ago. When she was starting out with her modelling career, she thought being in exotic places like Paris, London, Milan, Prague would do her good. She revelled in the free Givenchy. Drank the expensive wine that was available, always surrounded by creative and beautiful people, dancing her heart out with anyone she chose.
But when the parties were over and all the champagne was drank and it was time to slip off her designer dress, her mind would wander off to a fantasy of a dingy apartment in California, eating ramen noodles with a boy she'd known her whole life while they laughed at nothing in particular.
They would share the only mattress in the flat and tell each other secrets just like they used to. They would finish their degrees at the same time. Maybe move back home, find normal jobs.
Fall in love. Get engaged. Get married. Have children…
It was in the middle of that dream that Rhonda would find peaceful sleep.
She never said it to anyone. Especially not when she heard he enlisted in the army after college or that he got wounded during combat and sent home. Especially not when she visited him in the hospital while he was asleep. No one had to know. Sometimes Rhonda wondered if she even knew herself. She only felt a wrenching heartache after he had gone to Brown after all.
She thought at first maybe she was just missing him. However, the days turned to weeks which turned to months which turned to years and the yearning never faded. She booked one runway after another. One fashion show done, another in the horizon. Different fashion weeks, different cities.
On and on and on her life went and so did his and she never got the chance to apologise for stringing him along back then. For making him wait for such a goddamned long time, thinking he would always be there. Yearning for him when she needed him the most.
Seeing him is bringing back so many memories she never want to relive.
For now she would ride the ecstasy of moving to the music hoping the high never ends.
CURLY put away his toothbrush before he went to check on his phone.
3 missed calls. It was on silent, no wonder he didn't hear anything.
NADINE | 2:38 AM
Strange. Why did Nadine call him? He decided to call back.
"Hey, what's up? You called?"
"Curly! Thank god! Rhonda is extremely hammered, she's passed out at our table. I was wondering whether she can stay at your apartment? She is in no condition to go back to her hotel on her own."
"Why not just get a cab?"
"Lila is pretty gone as well and I promised to bring her home to her fiancé before 3 am. I can't handle them both, Curly. You live just across the street. Please, just help me. I'll buy you lunch or something."
Curly wanted to throw something fragile at the wall.
"I'm on my way."
SHE felt like absolute shit. It's like repeatedly being hit in the head. She swore she could feel her brain bouncing up and down her skull. She blocked the sunlight that wanted to get into her eyes.
"Urgh," she groaned. "Never again."
It took her a few moments to fully opened her eyes and when she did, her heart stopped. This was not her hotel room.
Shit! Did I sleep with someone?
The decor of the room was certainly masculine. Nautical theme with deep blues and striking whites. She glanced at the time on the desk clock. Huge glowing green numbers blinked at her.
11:36 AM
She needed to check out at this time. Goddamn it.
At that epiphany, she smelled the scent of bacon coming from somewhere in the house. The guy was still in his home. Standing up she noticed another chilling fact, she is only in her underwear. She definitely banged someone.
It's been awhile. Who could blame her? A girl could only take so much loneliness before she explodes. He better be good-looking.
What a shallow thought. Shame on you, Rhonda. But seriously, please let it be that handsome man at the club.
She gripped the white sheet and made a make-shift toga before stepping onto the hardwood floors to explore the rest of the house. As she stepped out of the bedroom door, the smell of bacon became stronger. Her tummy rumbled, it had been awhile since she had eaten anything.
It turned out, she was on the second floor. There were narrow wooden steps that lead down. She followed them and ended up in a small kitchen. All-white with chrome touches, very modern. In front of a stove, there was a man cooking breakfast.
He didn't have to face her. She could already tell from the height, the ebony hair, and width of the shoulders who it was. Her stomach rumbled once again, this time, not from hunger.
"You should know that escape is futile."
He didn't even turn away from his cooking. He must have heard her come down the stairs.
"I wasn't trying to," her voice was croaky from last night's drinking.
"Good," he faced her with a plateful of appetising morning food. He set it down on his island countertop and motioned for her to sit down. She didn't see the harm. Actually, she was so hungry she didn't care anymore. Rhonda sat down and started to eat.
"Coffee?"
She nodded, her face stuffed with bacon and scrambled eggs. He poured her a cup and placed it beside her plate. She took a big gulp out of it as soon as he put it down.
The questions she had for him could come later. For now, food is the only thing that is important.
"I'm glad to know you still have the appetite of a platoon."
She ignored him.
"I called the hotel this morning. I told them you couldn't check out. I asked them to hold onto your luggage, that you'll pick them up later. You need to give them the card key. They told me they won't charge you. The receptionist said they usually don't do that but they'll make an exception since you always stay there when you go back home."
That got her attention. "Thank you."
"No problem, also, your dress is in the dryer. It should be done by now. It's just through that door," he pointed at a door beside his high-tech fridge.
She was going to have to bring it up.
"So, that means nothing happened between us, right?"
There was a pause. Rhonda felt her stomach dip. Uh oh.
He laughed and everything fell back into its right place. "I don't sleep with drunks. Plus, you puked all over your dress. Hardly attractive."
She glared at him and then figured he didn't deserve her anger. She brought this upon herself. He had already gone above and beyond by helping her. But, why would he help her?
"Did Nadine call you?" she asked. Rhonda took another delicious bite.
"Yeah, I was about to go to sleep when I got a hysterical phone call from your best friend. At least now, I have a free lunch." He started to cleaning up the dishes and wiping the counters.
She picked on her sliced tomato, "I'm sorry."
He froze, mid-wipe. "For what?" Then, he continued like nothing happened.
"For the inconvenience." For everything. Everything that happened in high school. Not showing up for your college graduation.
He flashed her a smile. She hated the fact that her insides reacted.
"I kind of owed her anyway."
"What for?" Rhonda asked, taking a bite out of the fluffy eggs.
Curly put down the rag. "Well, she's one of the investors of the club."
Rhonda's eyes widened. "She has a share on that place? Why didn't she tell me anything? No wonder it looked like she knew how much the club earned last night. That girl…"
"I'm surprised she didn't tell you. That's why she's always at the VIP section."
Her head hurt, she didn't want to figure out why her friends hid that fact from her anymore. "Really though, I'm sorry for the trouble."
"It's not a problem. Listen, make yourself at home. I have a few errands to run so I have to get going. You can prepare for your flight and then we'll swing by the hotel to get your luggage. Take full use of the shower upstairs, there are fresh towels in there. Call me once you're done, I left my number by the phone. I'll send you to the airport."
She wanted to cry. All these years and he has not changed a bit, still a good host. Still dependable, compassionate, and caring.
"Okay," was all she could manage to say. Here she was, sitting in his kitchen, eating his food and feeling pathetic.
"I'll see you later," he picked up a set of keys from a bowl and disappeared through the backdoor.
She still had half her breakfast left but had lost her appetite.
Bored, she stood up to explore the rest of the ground floor. In the living room there were bookcases filled with encyclopaedias, fiction, and surprisingly, fashion magazines. Vogue, Bazaar, Marie Claire… the list continued.
She pulled one out. She nearly dropped it when she saw who was in the cover. It was her for a cover sheet from years back. She checked all the others, her hands maddeningly taking the magazines off the shelf. It was all the covers that she had booked.
No…
Surrounded by photos of herself, she took a deep breath. With shaking hands, she put them neatly back on the shelf. She left the living room afterwards, not sure what to think of her discovery. On her way to kitchen, Rhonda came across something she missed out before. There was a post-it note on the sticky board that said her lunch was on the fridge, she checked and it was there. She shook her head and promised herself not to cry.
HE didn't really have any errands to run. He just wanted to give her privacy. He also wanted to get away and think. Walking through the neighbourhood usually does the trick. It was hard to escape when he just wanted to be in her presence.
His feet lead him to Slausen's out of habit. Stopping in front of it, he took in the changes that had happened to his hometown. Not a lot, just a few touches such as that the electric posts were gone, all the wires were underground already. The new houses and apartments have been built, brand spankin' new and recently occupied. The roads were a flat black that was only laid down several months ago.
A mix of old and new. Just like his jumbled up life.
His phone rang. "Hello."
"Hey, I'm ready. You said to let you know, so–"
"Yeah. I'll be right back."
"Are you finish with your errands?"
"Yup. I'll pick you up."
"Okay."
She hung up.
WHEN he reached his house, she was ready to go. Wearing her dress from the night before and carrying her tiny purse.
"So, I'll wait for you at the hotel parking lot while you get your things," he said while opening his car. He noticed her staring across the street, the club.
"Sure, it'll only take awhile. I'm sure," she said without looking at him.
They got in the car and put on their seat belts. He turned up the stereo to some 80s pop song. The ride through Hillwood was silent except for the music but Rhonda had been meaning to ask him since noon.
"Thank you for lunch. I didn't know you can cook," she joked.
"When you live alone, you learn things. Did you see the others while you're here?"
"I saw Helga and Arnold. I had dinner with them the second night I was here. They're expecting a baby. Can you believe it?" she said with a wistful smile.
Curly only nodded.
"I saw the magazines, Curly."
They stopped at a red light. She focused on the colourful reflections the light had on his glasses. He gave a painful smile. "I was hoping you wouldn't. I forgot that they were even there."
He turned to face her. "Everybody's really proud of you."
"I see."
Was that all? She wanted to ask but it seemed as if he didn't want to talk about it anymore. The rest of the ride was uneventful. She collected her luggage from the hotel and gave back her key. When they reached the airport, they were calling for boarding on her flight. Before she disappeared behind the glass doors, she thanked him, grabbed the sides of his face and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips.
She didn't want to turn around to see his reaction.
