In San Diego
After the lock down and everyone went home, Jude at in his room. Jude was still thinking about what Taylor had said to him. She was right, he though, Jude had just made a poor decision. He knew all along that he was Gay, but he was scared. Based on his experience with guys, he was scared of where he would wind up going after he died, if he stayed gay. He wanted to go somewhere nice, so he had thought that he couldn't be gay. When he and Taylor were talking During the lockdown, this all became clear to him.
Taylor also had another point. While explaining why he thought he needed to be straight, Jude mentioned that "every boy i've ever kissed has been taken away from me"
"Yeah, kind of."
"What does that mean?"
"Well, yes, Jack counts, but…"
"But what?"
"Connor wasn't really taken away from you, you pushed him away"
Jude was really affected by this. He sat there quiet for a while, contemplating. However, as he was about to respond, the police came in and ushered everyone out, stopping his train of thought.
But now that Jude was back at home, he was able to think again. Taylor was right, even more so since she didn't know what Callie had told him. He thought about it more, deeper. In his thoughts he replayed Connor and his friendship turn into a relationship. He remembered the nail polish, the camping trip, the movies. He recalled the beach, the prom, but then his grandparents anniversary. He thought of Connor's last day in San Diego, and then the last day he saw Connor's face; sad and hurt. He remembered how Connor looked broken from what Jude had said. Jude began to cry as he remembered what he'd done. He truly realised how right Taylor was. As he wanted to talk to someone, he hurriedly opened his phone and typed a text to Taylor.
I'm not over him. Help
Just as Jude sent the text his heart sank. While crying, he had text Connor instead of Taylor. Shit . Jude didn't know what to do. So he sent another, trying to fix what he'd done
Shit. Wrong person
Sorry
Jude looked up. Crisis averted . Now, he started to text the correct person, Taylor.
Shit
Jude looked at his phone for Taylor's response
What?
What did u do?
I accidentally text Connor.
Did he say anything?
No.
What did you say?
Jude didn't answer, fearing the ramifications of what he had just done.
Jude?
I meant to text you but...
But what? What did you say?
I was gonna tell you that i don't think that i'm over Connor, and that i need your help
Jude was terrified of what Taylor would tell him he needed to do, not because he didn't mean it, because he meant it. He meant it very much, and he was terrified of the negative outcome.
We will talk about this tomorrow, this is too important for text
K?
K
Jude's head was reeling. He had royally screwed up.
In L A
Since Connor had Joined the soccer team, he had practices after school every now and then. Soccer was good for Connor. Since the break up, Connor had gotten better as Soccer, mainly because he would get his frustration out through the sport. Connor had made new friends in LA. They were very open towards him. He felt happy and free. Everyone at school knew that he was gay because he felt safe there. His friends were devastated when Connor informed them about the break up, some were even mad at Jude, but Connor had asked them to not do so because he didn't think Jude had done anything wrong. Connor blamed himself for the break up, for not being present as much. I was true that he had joined may sports teams, and that Connor had not gone back down to San Diego like he had promised. His friends, on the other hand, did not agree. They were able to see how much Connor loved Jude, and seeing Connor as sad as he was made them angry.
During the team's practice Connor was out on the field while some of his friends watched from the stands. While he was playing, his friend Ian had been watching Connor's things. During the practice Connor got a text from Jude. Ian saw and decided to take matters into his own hands. Ian was one of the one who felt like Jude was in the wrong, so he had some things to say to Jude. While Connor wasn't looking, Ian took his phone and responded for him.
Who is him?
Ian waited a bit, but Jude didn't answer.
If it's me, i hope you don't think you'll ever see me again.
Because i hate you.
Leave me alone.
Thinking it was in Connor's best interest, ian waited, then deleted the text thread. Ian put Connor's phone back quickly as he saw Connor heading his way.
"Good Job man"
"Thanks" Connor still sounded depressed as he looked in his phone, not knowing what he was really hoping to see.
In San Diego
I don't think it can wait
Jude panicked as he saw three dreaded dots pop up on his conversation with Connor. He still had no idea what to say, so he frantically text Taylor again. But before she could respond, the texts came through. He was the first text but didn't respond, hoping that Connor would just leave it. But he didn't, more texts came in after a few seconds. Jude looked at his screen, in shock. His eyes filling with tears once again. How could Connor have said those things. Jude had understood that he was to blame for the break up. Jude knew that Connor had every right to be upset at him. But never this, Jude never expected this. Jude buried himself into his hands and sobbed.
