Standard disclaimer: The characters aren't mine. This should come as no surprise. I am simply a teller of stories that occasionally claw their way desperately out of my head.

Notes: Once upon a time, I told insidiousmisandry I would write her a 'fic for her birthday. Approximately one million years later, I actually did it. She requested Rei/Usagi cuteness, with a little added outside perspective.

(20 January 2014)


Meeting Like This

"And then …"

Manami drug out the words then paused dramatically. She sat on the desk with her feet perfectly together on the chair in front of her. The short grey skirt of her school uniform was crisp and perfectly smoothed under the neatly folded hands in her lap. She gazed down at her captive audience from her pulpit, the master storyteller at work.

Her audience did not disappoint. "And then?" they echoed back in taut anticipation, each leaning forward as though to hear her words sooner.

Manami held out for a moment longer. But just one moment. All pretense of being a detached narrator fell away as she shrieked, "SHE TALKED TO ME!"

The room erupted with a chorus of screams, sounding like fifty girls rather than five. Chiasa swooned. Amaya, without taking her eyes from Manami and without interrupting her own joyful cries, caught her by the shoulders and steadied her. Eri, on Amaya's right, was less lucky, and pitched backward completely.

Shiori had been perched closest to Manami, and upon this glorious revelation, surged to her feet. The two of them were now hopping up and down, hands clasped and squealing their delight.

"OH MY GOD WHAT DID YOU DO?!" Shiori demanded.

"I DON'T REMEMBER!" Manami replied with no diminished enthusiasm whatsoever.

"WHAT DID SHE SAY?"

"'YOU'RE LIKE A LUMP, MOVE AND STOP BLOCKING EVERYTHING'!"

Somehow, impossibly, the shrieking grew. Eri had managed to sit upright again, only to be flung to the side like she'd been punched in the jaw. The expression of pure bliss on her face said it was the most welcome punch in all of existence.

"YOU'RE SO LUCKY!"

"I KNOW!"

The celebration might have lasted long into the night, had Kamiko not entered the room. As always, she carried with her the presence of control and refinement. Kamiko took her title as president very seriously, and strove every day to be the true embodiment of the qualities they each admired and cherished so deeply. It took visible effort, but Manami and Shiori managed to calm themselves, though they still clung to each other, alternately giggling and shushing. Amaya and Chiasa righted Eri and set her securely in her seat. She didn't offer much help, locked somewhere in a world of her own. From all appearances, it was a pleasant world indeed.

"I just received word," said Kamiko in a commanding voice that demanded full attention. She received it. No one was giggling now. At Kamiko's shoulder was Yori, as always, scribbling down Kamiko's every word. Kamiko looked at her assemblage, her face grave. "It's happening again."

This bi-weekly meeting of The Rei Hino Fanclub was officially in session.

... ... ...

It didn't escape Rei that she was functionally a pack mule. She shifted the large, overstuffed bag on her shoulder, really wanting to carry it on the other side for a while, but that was difficult.

It was an Usagi-sized amount of difficult.

"You carrying this for a while wouldn't kill you, you know," Rei said, trying once again to find a comfortable position for the stupid bag. It was too bulky to properly tuck under her arm and too tall to carry without scraping the ground. After bouncing her hand from position to position, she finally settled back where she'd started, with her thumb hooked under the strap and her elbow jutted out at a weird angle.

Usagi cared for none of this. "My hands are already full!" she said, and to prove her point, she hugged Rei's other arm closer.

Rei slipped on her stern face. It was one of the many things she did best. But Usagi was so happy, and Rei felt the corners of her mouth turning up without her permission. Damn them. "You have a free—"

The large bento bag was thrust in her face.

"Nope!" Usagi insisted. "All full!"

Rei muttered that Usagi was certainly full of SOMETHING.

It only earned her an adoring smile "Be grumpy all you want, I'm not letting your Reiness get in the way." Usagi skipped and nearly threw Rei completely off-balance. "You agreed and that's all that matters."

The struggle was greater than she would've liked, but Rei managed to reclaim possession of part of her arm and forced Usagi to slow a bit. "Of course I agreed," she said, and sounded a little offended at the suggestion she might not have. "I promised you any kind of date you wanted if you did better on your next test."

"And I did!" Usagi crowed, thrusting the bento bag in the air. "Yay! Genius Usagi!"

Rei snorted a laugh. "It was four points, Genius, let's not get carried away."

"Better is better. If you wanted more better, you should've said before—OO, DANGO!"

A yelp of surprise escaped Rei as she was whipped around in an ungraceful 180 turn that sent her bag flying up, nearly wiping out two businessmen and a small child. She might've considered apologizing (where "apologizing" meant telling them to watch where she was going), but Usagi had already yanked her out of range in a direct path toward the food stall.

"U-sa-gi!" Rei yelled, emphasizing each syllable to better squeeze her annoyance between them. "We're going to eat RIGHT NOW, you don't need dango!"

"It's not a question of NEED, Rei-chan! Do you smell that smell? It's delicious! What am I supposed to do?"

"How about think with something besides your stomach for once?"

Their squabbling intensified. The vendor behind the counter continued to offer the steaming dumplings with a frozen smile that was slowly beginning to crack.

... ... ...

"How dare she!"

"Treating our Rei-sama like that!"

Seven sets of eyes peeked out from around and through a very thin, not especially leafy tree on the sidewalk which provided adequate stealth needs to the amount of exactly none.

"She's so familiar!"

"Who does she think she is?"

"SHE DOESN'T EVEN GO TO OUR SCHOOL."

As the others gasped their disbelief at the unmitigated gall of some people, Kamiko's eyes narrowed with intense study of the scene before her. That Girl had relinquished her grip on Rei-sama, which might prove a grave tactical error, as it enabled Rei-sama to better aim her giant bag. Kamiko waited for her to do just that, in fact, but the swing never came. Instead, That Girl had— Was Rei-sama PAYING?

Yes, that was the only possible conclusion. Rei-sama was handing bills to the vendor whose eyebrow had developed an unfortunate twitch. He thrust the containers at his customers then quickly escaped into the back of his stall. That Girl said something, prompting Rei-sama to shake her perfect head and reply. She lifted the skewer to eat her first dumpling, then paused, mouth half-open.

That Girl had already finished her food. What's more, she was looking at Rei-sama with eyes so large and imploring that from this distance they seemed to encompass nearly the entire surface area of her face.

Rei-sama was not impressed. Slowly and deliberately, she raised the skewer. As one, her poorly-hidden fanclub opened their mouths to match and lifted their chins in time with the hand. Flawless white teeth sunk into the topmost dumpling and pulled. The fanclub held its collective breath. It slid free easily and Rei-sama chewed with a smile of utter satisfaction. Only then could the fanclub exhale again.

With a toss of her mighty hair, Rei-sama set off in the direction she'd been headed, her back straight and her stride proud. The fanclub sighed in appreciation. Yori dutifully noted the sighs and the time. Kamiko was about to usher everyone onward, when she saw something that sent a jolt through her system.

Her senses suddenly heightened to superhuman levels. She had the eyes of a hawk, and time slowed to a crawl. She could see every fiber of the wooden skewer. The sun reflected from the dumplings' glazed surface. She watched, in agonizing slow-motion, as Rei-sama gave her dango to That Girl.

And then everything snapped back to normal. Rei-sama was halfway down the street, shifting her huge bag to her other arm while That Girl happily shoved all the remaining dango into her mouth at one time.

"We must follow," Kamiko proclaimed, receiving nothing but enthusiastic support. Her eyes darted to the food stall. "But first, dumplings."

This, too, was met with enthusiastic support.

... ... ...

Perfect picnic spots in the park were a valuable commodity. This wasn't prime picnic season, so less competition had helped a bit, but still, the balance of sun and shade and view made it highly-sought prize.

A prize which Rei and Usagi had unquestionably won.

Usagi had found the spot she liked best, only to be nearly overrun by a couple of guys playing frisbee. They got as far as one foot on one corner of Usagi's carefully laid out blanket before they had two very angry Senshi to contend with. Between Usagi's tirade and Rei's glares, they were soon playing frisbee somewhere else. Possibly the surface of the sun. It wasn't here, and that was all Rei cared about.

Now they sat facing each other on the picnic blanket. The large bag lay folded to one side along with their shoes and the now empty bento pouch. Between them, lunch was served, a surprisingly elaborate spread of different containers.

All of which might kill Rei within seconds.

She held up some kind of rice dish covered with a thick brownish sauce. There were CHUNKS in it. What those chunks were, Rei doubted even Ami's visor could tell. She eyed it skeptically, her lip threatening to curl into a sneer, and then peered at Usagi.

Usagi was watching her with rapt attention. Her hands were clenched into excited balls that made little bounces up and down on her thighs. Her eyes had once again done that really distressing thing where they became abnormally huge. They announced hope and joy.

They announced doom.

Rei was a seasoned veteran of battle. Thousands of years in the past, she was the proud Senshi of Mars, feared across the Silver Millennium for her fire and fury. Today, in her red high heels, she fought nightmare monsters and unparalleled evil. To protect her princess, her friends, and her world, Rei had looked death itself in the face and refused to blink.

She saw Usagi's eyes again, those expectant, trusting eyes, and knew there was no way she was getting out of this alive.

Like the fierce soldier she was, Rei took a deep, steeling breath, heaped her spoon full of whatever the hell gunk this was, and shoved it in her mouth.

It was …

It was …

Good?

Pretty sure she'd managed to accidentally stumble on the lone mouthful that didn't bring instant death, she tentatively tried again.

No, it was actually good!

Usagi watched this with all the concentrated attention of a new episode of her favourite anime. When Rei made a noise of appreciation, Usagi's face exploded into a smile so bright and heart-warming that Rei couldn't help but match it.

"I'm impressed!" Rei said, and she truly was.

It was impossible for Usagi to sit still, and she wriggled happily. "I thought you'd like it!" she said, pride bursting from every word. She grabbed her own container and popped the lid to reveal identical contents. "Mako-chan came over last night to help and was trying to convince me to change some things, but when I told her it was for you, she said it was fine." Still grinning from ear to ear, Usagi shoveled in a mouthful.

Her face instantly became a shade of green Rei didn't know was possible in human beings. "Usagi?" she asked, a note of alarm in her voice.

Veins began to pop out in Usagi's neck, and she all but doubled over.

Rei was convinced for a second that Usagi was choking and was scrambling to remember everything Ami had taught them about the Heimlich maneuver, when she heard Usagi take a heaving breath.

"…m'fine…" Usagi gasped out, and she gratefully accepted the can of tea Rei put in her hand. She guzzled nearly half of it, and it seemed to help stop her swaying. "I'm fine," she repeated. Her gaze swept the spread of food on the blanket. Distrust flared in her expression. Gingerly, like it might explode at any moment and somehow force her to eat it, Usagi placed the container she'd sampled at Rei's feet. "You can have seconds."

The whole scenario was approximately eleven thousand times cuter than it had any right to be, especially with Usagi pouting with open resentment, but Rei did her best to keep her expression neutral. "I made you something too," she said, tossing it out there like it was nothing.

"You did?"

Usagi glanced up, and she was so cute, just so hopeful and adorable, that Rei actually felt her arms tense with the urge to hug her and never let go. Instead, she replied, "I did," and reached into the giant bag she'd been carrying. "In that I made a trip to McDonalds."

Out came a large, familiar sack, and Usagi's face lit up like she'd just seen the entrance to heaven itself and it had golden arches out front.

"You're the best, Rei-chan!" Usagi said around a mouthful of fries.

Rei agreed that this was true.

... ... ...

Nearby, the fanclub had become a human pyramid, like a small but very devoted group of cheerleaders. Those on the bottom struggled under the weight, but never took their gaze from the hole in the bush allowing them to behold the grace of Rei-sama elegantly inhaling her entirely unrecognizable lunch.

"Rei-sama likes McDonald's!" Shiori ground out from her spot at the bottom center of the pyramid.

"We should go there!" declared Chiasa. She leaned forward for a slightly better view and nearly toppled the whole thing.

Yori noted the suggestion in her book, then turned to Kamiko with rapt attention.

Atop the pyramid, Kamiko's eyes flashed. Her attention remained locked on the scene playing out across the bright, green field.

She nodded once.

Yori's pencil flew across the page.

Yes. To better walk in the infallible footsteps of their Rei-sama, they would go to McDonald's.

... ... ...

"—leep?"

Rei rolled her head in the direction of the voice. "Hm?"

"Yeah, you were totally asleep."

Rei didn't open her eyes. She didn't need to see to know how smug Usagi looked, she could hear it just fine.

"I was not," Rei replied in a lazy voice. "Anyway, you fell asleep first."

Her head jostled as Usagi nudged it with her own. "At least I don't snore."

NOW Rei opened her eyes, and she pushed back against Usagi's head. "I don't snore!"

"You snore so loud you woke me up!" Usagi protested, pulling away just to bonk their heads together again. She ground it in for extra measure.

"That was you, you idiot! You woke YOURSELF up!"

"I did not!"

"I was HERE. You did too!"

"You were too busy ASLEEP AND SNORING, how would you know!"

"I DON'T SNORE, YOU SNORE!"

And then the tongues started, as they always did. Flat on her back, still staring up at the sky, Rei blew her raspberry with all her considerable might and long years of extensive practice. Effortlessly, she overrode Usagi's feeble effort. Why Usagi always brought it to this impossibly childish level, she would never understand, especially when Rei won every single time.

Before long, they both made their customary "Hrmph!" to indicate the battle was at an end. Buoyed by the usual elation of victory, Rei took a deep breath and watched the clouds drifting overhead. At some point while she was resting her eyes (and absolutely not asleep or snoring, as her tongue war victory proved), the bright sunny day had given way to heavy grey clouds. Usagi's head still pressed against hers as they lay on the picnic blanket at an angle, staring up at the sky together. Her stomach was full, her mind was calm, and her blood still hummed from the argument.

Rei felt content. She felt ALIVE.

Her hand reached out, and as expected, Usagi's was already there, waiting.

As they laced their fingers together, Usagi squeezed and Rei squeezed back.

"What do you see?" Rei asked. She didn't offer any more clarification than that.

"A pork bun," replied Usagi.

Well that was no surprise.

"Riding a tricycle," Usagi added.

Rei spluttered a laugh. "What?"

"See?" In her peripheral vision, Rei could vaguely make out Usagi's free hand pointing in the sky. "There's the pork bun." Her finger circled at what was presumably one of the dozen clouds directly overhead. "There's the handlebars." She traced out a general shape. "The front wheel, and the two back wheels."

Rei felt Usagi's head turn toward her as she peered intently at the clouds. After several moments of searching, Rei came to a conclusion. "You're making that up, there's nothing like that up there at all."

Usagi just laughed and squeezed her hand again. "You're too much fun, Rei-chan."

"And you're impossible," Rei said.

"That's why you love me."

"That's why you love ME."

... ... ...

"I can't hear ANYTHING!" Manami managed somehow to pack all her anguish into a hushed whisper.

Her torment was shared by the others as they clustered behind the ice cream cart they'd claimed as their cover. Stoically, the cart's owner continued to stand at attention, hoping someone would buy. Or just leave. Leaving would also be fine.

"I bet it's amazing," Amaya sighed wistfully as they watched Rei-sama point at the sky and swirl her finger.

"'This cloud clearly resembles my magnificence'," said Shiori from where she was wedged part way under the cart. Her voice did not in any way even remotely sound like their goddess and precisely no one cared.

Chiasa did no better. "'My finely-chiseled profile is here if you tilt your head'." All the girls looked up hopefully to catch a glimpse of said profile. Shiori was stuck under the cart, but she gave it her best effort.

"'I bet Eri is a great person and I should ask her out'," said Eri in the nearest imitation yet. This did not save her.

"Eri-chan!" cried the other girls, aghast at this brazen self-insertion.

"It's not about YOU!" Manami chastised.

"It's not about any of us," agreed Kamiko. Yori shoved her ice cream cone into the vendor's hand so she could write this down. 'This is about Rei-sama. All else is dust before her."

The fanclub ooo'd their appreciation for this wisdom.

Kamiko didn't acknowledge it. She adjusted the paper hat she'd put on to help her blend in with their hiding place and watched Rei-sama and That Girl. They couldn't make out words, but the tone of them was easy enough. Despite the earlier squabbling, Rei-sama sounded … happy.

It was very confusing.

Clearly more information was needed. Kamiko considered their next move when thunder rolled overhead and a heavy raindrop splashed on her nose.

... ... ...

It had taken a bit of scrabbling, but they'd managed to get under the blanket before being too drenched by the sudden rainstorm.

Rei and Usagi huddled together in their impromptu cave, each clutching a fistful of blanket to keep it overhead.

"So much for the picnic," Rei grumbled, peering up at the sky. There was no sign that the rain was going away any time soon.

Usagi's spirits remained unquenchable. "We'd finished the picnic anyway," she said cheerfully. "We were on to the you-sleeping-it-off part."

She grinned at the sharp look Rei threw her. "Don't you start," she cautioned, then shifted her glare to the rain. Visibility was poor, but she could still make out those idiots who'd been following them all day. She wasn't getting any malicious feelings or premonitions so she hadn't done anything about them. Plus her ofuda were always at the ready, so she wasn't concerned. Still, seeing them cold, wet, and miserable pressed the need to get out of this weather. "We should probably head home."

Their cover shifted, and Rei readjusted to compensate for the slack. "Usagi, what-?"

Her question died as Usagi was right there. Rei could make out every eyelash, every drop of water, every ounce of love. No respect for personal space whatsoever. So aggravating.

"I like it here," Usagi said, and Rei saw herself smile in Usagi's eyes.

There wasn't much closer they could possibly get, but Rei never knew when to quit, and somehow she managed it. Their lips brushed. "It does have its advantages," she agreed.

... ... ...

Heartbreak.

The Rei Hino Fanclub, now without even an ice cream cart to hide behind, stood exposed, soaked, and heartbroken. Manami and Shiori clung to each other for support, their tears mingling with the rain.

"We've lost!" cried Shiori.

"Did you see how Rei-sama looked?" Manami sobbed.

They clutched their hands tighter together and wailed to the unfeeling heavens.

Amaya slumped as all the fight left her. "We can't compete with that."

"We don't have That Girl's spirit," said Chiasa with a mixture of longing and admiration. "We don't have her heart!"

Eri dabbed at her tears with a rain-soaked handkerchief. "She must be very special for Rei-sama to love her so."

Just ahead of them stood Kamiko. Her head was bowed, unable to bear the sight, the undeniable proof of their defeat. Despair threatened to wash her away. She had no choice but to give up.

But Rei-sama wouldn't give up.

Rei-sama would NEVER give up.

"We don't have …"

At the sound of Kamiko's voice, the fanclub stopped everything and turned to her. Was there yet hope? Yori adjusted the little umbrella she was holding over her notepad and waited, pencil at the ready.

"We don't have blonde hair."

For a moment, nothing, then the fanclub broke into cheers. As though they'd never stopped, Manami and Shiori resumed bouncing up and down, splashing everywhere in the sodden ground.

"That's it!" Amaya punched her fist into her open palm. "We need to be blonde!"

A conveniently dramatic flash of lightning appeared behind Kamiko, and the wind whipped at her school uniform as she stood with her hands on her hips. "To the drugstore!" she declared.

They would have much to discuss at the next meeting of The Rei Hino Fanclub.