Unlikely Family
Disclaimer: I don't own this if I did do you think I would be looking for a job at ihops
Warnings:slash threesome ooc
"What would Loki need iridium for."
"In order to keep the portal from collapsing in on itself like it did at S.H.I.E.L.D. and it is so good to see you again Bruce my bed is so cold when you're not at home so how are you going to find the tesseract"
"I'm working on getting the spectrometers to locate it" the two continued hashing out ideas unaware of the fact everyone on the helicarrier bridge had stopped doing what they were doing to stare at them with their jaws on the ground. When the two paused to take a breath they looked around and saw everybody staring
"Phil do you know what's wrong with all of them" Tony asked.
An unexpected voice spoke up "You have to admit Tony it's not everyday you find out the man everyone thinks is a playboy is in fact gay and has been in a serious relationship with a man who can turn into hulky-poo and an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D since they were 11 or so" at this the silence was broken and questions rang out as Coulson walked across the floor grabbed Tony's chin and looking at his self satisfied smirk and said sternly "No masks Tony."
Bruce chimes in with " Thanks love I told him the same thing but he doesn't listen to me as well as he does you."
Within seconds the smirk is replaced with a soft sweet smile and tears well up while tony throws his arm around both of his semes and sobs out "I missed you two assholes why did you leave for so long are you trying to kill me jerks and not even an 'I'm back kiss' did you guys not miss me did you cheat on me do you even still like me it's been half a year without one text, call, email, anything why did you do that"
Natasha and Clint their arms crossed and eyes narrowed said in unison "I think the two of us would like to know the same thing papa and dad. Daddy was a mess you two have a lot to account for. Daddy and us agree that we need a family meeting."
At this everyone simply faints from shock "Shall we go see Loki maybe we can finish this now"
"That's a good idea" Coulson said quietly comforting a sobbing Tony and a worried Bruce as they walked down the hall. Just as they got to the door Tony was only hiccuping a little and Bruce was calm again.
"Well look who it is the assassin though your company...I didn't expect Barton come free m-"
"Loki would you like to have a family" Tony interrupts to everyone's surprise but an even greater shock was that Loki immediately said "Yes I would give up anything to have a family why"
"I have a solution to this only it would require faking your death giving up your 'god hood' and becoming a kid again you up for it Loki"
"Yes I am good and I think I know the spell you are talking about though how you know it I don't know but I have one condition my...my children w-would you um…"
"Of course only do you know where they are or how to find them "
Loki smiles and looks like a happy toddler immediately making all the people accept him as a kid or a sibling "Yes in fact I modified the spell so I only need to use the one. And I can also make it so we are all legally adopted when its cast."
"That is great now we just need the approv-"
"YES" the rest of the family interrupted. Loki cast the spell and his children disappeared from wherever they were and ended up sitting in the cage as toddlers. The cage was quickly opened, the tapes erased, Loki's death faked, and the ship vacated by the family. Shield gave up looking for Loki and left the family alone and they lived happily ever after.
AN this was my first attempt at an avengers fic constructive reviews much accepted and appreciated while flames will be used to cook s'mores
