Mayhem on the ML

Zechs Wars: May I have pants?!
by Akira and Jessie

Jessie sighed, drumming her fingers on the table in front of her. How boring! No one around. Not one single person. Well, other than herself, that is. No one to rant at or annoy. When had her life become so unfulfilling?
"Pare le passion," Jessie sighed, not even her tried and true joke cheered her up. "WHERE IS EVERYBODY??" she yelled, slamming her fist onto the table. All the returned her were echoes of her own voice.
"Well bloody hell. Looks like I'll have to find something to entertain me."
**
She paced around the ML, looking for something that could hold her attention for more than two seconds. **POOF** "Huh?" She coughed and squinted at the engulfing fog. "Who's there?"
"You're conscience." She slapped her forehead.
"If you come out of there wearing a halo or horns and a tail, I'm going to kill you." Lame lame lame, she thought. Her conscience chuckled back at her and stepped through the fog. Jessie's stopped mid cough and started drooling. What ever she did in her life to get Zechs, hottie bishounen who was actually taller than her, to be her conscience, she'd have to keep doing. "so, are you like that cricket from Pinocho that keeps me from doing bad things and lead a life to become a real boy or what?"
"Actually, I came to help you become unbored." Unbored? Was that even a word?
"I can think of about thirty things to do with you that would make me 'unbored' but all involve whips and bondage in one form or another." Jessie looked hopeful.
"Uh, no. What are you? Like two?" Her face fell and she whimpered pathetically.
"No, I'm like fifteen," she sniffled. Zechs coughed something into his hand sounding an awful lot like jailbait. "Oh well, it would be sort of gross to sleep with my conscience, not matter how good looking he may be!" Jessie stalked off to find something more entertaining then a goody two shoes conscience.
**
"Yo! Conscience Zechs! I need to ask you something!" Zechs got up from where he was sitting rather awkwardly on a bean bag chair and walked over to wear Jessie was standing, holding a pair of leather pants.
"What is it?"
"Well, I was wondering. Should I soak Squall's leather pants in water or not?"
"How'd you get his pants? He only has one pair, doesn't he?"
"Uh. . . that's not important!! Anyway, should I?" CZ shrugged.
"Do what you want."
"What kind of conscience are you?? You're suppose to at least tell me something!" **POOF** The air filled with bright pink hearts that blinded both CZ and Jessie. "Nani o-"
"HI!" squealed the pink hair child from the spawn of evil.
"Nononono! You can't be the other half of my conscience! NO!!! Evil! Stay away!!" Jessie screamed. ChibiUsa smiled cutely and sniggered.
"Mommy says she can't come today so I'm filling in!" she declared proudly and overly sweet, rotting one of CZ's teeth.
"no, don't say that! No, Usagi is NOT my conscience!!!!"
"I'm here to tell you what's wrong to do!" She smiled sugary. "But, mommy hasn't told me what right and wrong are yet so. . ." she trailed off hopelessly, looking as though she were about to cry. CZ mumbled something under his breath while dialing up his dentist.
"She's not here. She's not here. She's not here." Jessie repeated like a mantra, rocking back and forth with a glazed look in her eyes. Zechs clicked off his cell phone and tapped Jessie on the shoulder.
"Maybe you should ask her," he started, wincing a little from the pain of his rotted tooth.
"Ask who? I don't see anyone here," she responded with a blissful, vacant look on her face.
"Denial is very unbecoming."
"YOU THINK I'M BECOMING??" she shrieked happily. In a flash, Jessie grabbed little ChibiUsa by the collar and pulled her up to eye level. "Okay, listen, pinked hair rat, and listen good. You're job
is to stay the hell out of my way. When I ask a question, I'll tell you what to answer and then you say it, got it? Otherwise, you'll never see mommy again." ChibiUsa whimpered and CZ sighed, covering his face with his hands.
"Now, do you think I should soak Squall's one and only pair of leather pants in water? Say-"
"That sounds fun!!" Jessie dropped her from surprise.
"What did you say?" she asked, bewildered.
"I said that sounds fun! Can we? Can we?" Jessie stared at her in disbelief until a smile crept across her face.
"I think I like you kid. Come on!" She and ChibiUsa ran to the ML bathroom laughing wildly from excitement.
**
"Now, let's see, what else?" Jessie and ChibiUsa looked upon their handy work with utmost respect. Squall's pants were properly soaking in the bathroom, clogging up one of the toilets, Zell's hotdogs were hidden in the bean bag chair and the stuffing from the bean bag chair was shaped like hot dogs and cooking on the barbecue. Jessie sprayed some of her Essence of Hotdog on them to make them at least smell real not that Zell would notice either way. Rinoa's clothes had been switched with Quistis'', Cloud's was now snuggling with a Sephiroth doll instead of the Tifa one which was now hanging up in the bathroom with the message "aren't you glad you didn't flush the toilet?" scribbled on it in red lipstick. They made a few things in the kitchen which resulted in a toxic gas floating around and a charred ceiling. Other than that, everything was pretty much the same except Yapi's whip was replaced by links of sausages, SK's Squall she was sleeping next to was a blow up sex toy of Seifer (thanks to the idea that was given to Jessie) and the spork and llamas had all mysteriously disappeared.
"I don't think there's anything," ChibiUsa said. "Zechs is all tied up, right?" Jessie nodded, wiping the sweat from her brow.
"Next time he won't try to stop us, will he? mYAHAHAHA! Just wait until I get enough time to go visit him. hehehe." ChibiUsa missed all indication of what Jessie was talking about, still being around six.
"Yep, will, mommy's calling! Bye!" **POOF** The room erupted into a swirl of pink hearts.
"I'm going to talk to her about that stupid exit and entrance thing." Jessie muttered. "Oh Zechs!" she called, skipping off to
where he was tied up.

Akira's bloodshot eyes from too much writing and webpage worked shot open as the gentle thudding of her godly llamas stopped from her backyard. Leaping to her feet, Akira ran outside and...
GASP! Her llamas were gone! Shrieking, Akira was transformed into her 5-year-old SD form of AoD- chin length silver hair, electric blue eyes, 6 crystal shard wings, and toooooo overly cute self. Whistling, a 10 foot ebony scythe flew over to the kawaii girl, who hopped on it and rode on it like a broom.
"I will find my llamas and sporks!"


"Come on CZ, you look good in tight leather!" Jessie was holding a black leather leash in her hands and was pulling on it with all her might.
"I don't know how you got me into this but you aren't getting me out there. Not with all those - those -" Zechs shuddered on the other end of the leash where he was well concealed by the hallway.
"If they close their eyes, will you come out?" Now everyone present was looking towards Jessie and the leash and watching her tug on it to no avail.
"NO!" he growled menacingly. Jessie stopped pulling on the leash and let tears well up in her eyes.
"But CZ, I dressed you up all pretty and now you won't come out." A lone tear slid down her cheek. Zechs sighed and relented.
"If they close their eyes. . ." he grumbled. Jessie grinned and whirled around to the group.
"Close your eyes!" she yelled, winking.
"I saw that! No way!" he screamed, pulling backwards and towards the back room. Jessie growled and yanked on the leash suddenly. She smiled when a loud crash was heard and pulled on the leash, dragging out a confused and angry Zechs.
"Doesn't he look pretty??" Jessie beamed, pulling CZ to his feet. He glared viscously at anyone willing to look him in the eye. She had some how managed to get him in an outfit consisting of three strips of leather and four brass rings holding those three pieces together. The girls in the room were in between laughing hysterically and drooling while Macro couldn't bare to look at him. "Doesn't he????"she demanded.
Squally barely managed to nod before having to excuse herself to the bathroom for puking privileges.
"And I shaved his legs and everything!" Anna gawked at her.
"You shaved his legs?"
"You shaved my legs??!"
"Well, gees, you're like a chia pet or something! The back hair was disgusting." Yapi groaned from somewhere in the room.
"I'll never be able to look at him the same," she mumbled under her breath, getting up and going to throw up in the bathroom with Squally.
"I do not have back hair!!" Zechs roared at Jessie.
"Well not anymore." she replied nonchalantly. "We're going out!! Bye guys!" Jessie waved and tugged on the leash.
"What? No way! I'm not going outside wearing this!" Jessie smiled secretly and pulled him out the door.
**

A wolf howled in the distance as Jessie and CZ wandered down a dark street. Zechs was relieved because they had only happened upon a mother and baby since this outing started and all that happened was the mother tried to jump into his arms. Jessie had knocked the woman on the head with her own baby and pulled him quickly down the street. He was thankful to her for that but he was still mad at that crack about him having back hair.
"I do not have back hair," he grumbled again. Jessie sighed.
"That's the for tenth time you've said that since we left the Mailing List. Could you just relax and have fun? yeesh! You'd
think I dressed you up in leather and made you go for a walk!"
Zechs stopped long enough to ram his head into the nearest tree. Jessie glared at him and pulled him along after her.
"Stop! In the name of the moon, I will punish you!!" Sailormoon aka Usagi aka Jessie's good side of her conscience jumped down from the trees, tripping on a branch and falling face first into the pavement.
"Oh goody, sailor moron's here," Jessie sighed. "Where's your daughter?"
"That's why I'm here!" Sailormoon picked herself up from the ground and narrowed her eyes, hands on her hips. "You've corrupted her!" Without missing a beat, Jessie rounded on CZ.
"And you were complaining about me being fifteen!! She's only six!!"
"Wha??" Zechs gaped at her. "But I didn't!"
"Uh huh, that's what they all say!" Jessie fell to the pavement, crying.
"Actually, I was talking to you," Sailormoon announced. Jessie looked up.
"But I didn't!"
"I wasn't talking about that kind of corrupting!" CZ and Jessie sighed with relief then glared at the other for suspecting
themselves. "You made her a bad child! All she does all day is play pranks on all the senshi and my poor Mamoru!"
Jessie beamed with pride. "I taught her the difference between
boring and fun!" Sailormoon growled. "Hey, CS (conscience Sailormoon), meet CZ (conscience Zechs)! You both own part of my mind. . . him more than you though." CS looked CZ up and down then wrinkled her nose in disgust. Zechs noticed.
"Listen, Sailor Trash-"
"That's MISS Sailor Trash- I mean Moon, to you!" she corrected.
"Whatever. At least I didn't dress like this by choose. What's your excuse?" CS looked highly affronted but ignored him.
"We need to lay down some ground rules, Nekio (that's what my mind calls me, don't ask). First off-"
"Hey, what's that??" Jessie was staring up into the moonlight sky. CS started to talk again but stopped when she realized no one was listening to her. Grudgingly, she looked up into the sky.
"What's that little girl doing?" It was true. A little girl of maybe six was riding around on a ten foot, black scythe.
"She's flying. Duh." As if she was signaled by something, the little girl spotted the three onlookers and flew down to greet
them. Or, at least they thought it was a greeting.
"Where are my llamas and sporks?!?" she demanded. Jessie jumped. Sporks? Llamas. . .? Uh oh, she was in trouble.
"Uh uh uh."
"nice cover," Zechs muttered sarcastically.
"I'm trying okay??" The little girl, that Jessie now figured to be the SD form of Akira, glared coldly at her, waiting for an answer. "Uuh . . . take her! I can live without a good conscience!" She threw CS at SD Akira and ran down the street, Zechs leash grasped tightly in her hand.
"Remind me never to ask you to come up with a valid excuse for me!"
"Shut up and run!!"
Grabbing CS by the hair, she took off after the two running figures on her Scythe at full speed- only to have to dodge several old ladies, a dog, a car, a tree, and many other things... Including Cloud's hair and Riona's annoying wings.
"That's it! I'm cheating!" Akira yelled, pulling Anna from spandex space and threw her into CZ. "Go Annamon! Use Bishonen-lover hug!"
Nekio, aka Jessies, was perplexed. She happened to like her evil side... but with insane Pretty Sailor Soldier, she did not know if she should chance it. So, like Akira, she played dirty...
"Look! POCKY!" Jessie bellowed and pointed in some random direction.
"OH!? WHERE?" The two bishoujo-lovin-fangirls inquired, while looking like complete idiots for something that wasn't there.
Jessie made her move. She took CZ and ran.
"Where the hell are we going?" CZ demanded after running fifty miles through trees, backyards, police stations (which did not bod well, they tried to arrest him for public nudity. Jessie talked them out of it saying that he wasn't entirely naked.) and a few old folks homes.
"To where the llamas and sporks live. I can either release them into the wild or hid in-between all the llamas! She'll never find them! Never, I say!!" Jessie pulled out her cassette player and pushed play, listening to a long winded, evil, recorded laugh.
"What is that?" CZ asked, try desperately to hook two of the cut straps back together. The police, in an attempt to bring him in, cut two of the leather pieces. It took a mad dash to the bathroom and a lot of coaxing from Jessie to get him out of the station and back on the street. She promised they would go shopping.
"I have to keep my laughing on tape since it's such a bother to do every time I plan something evil. Otherwise, I'd just be laughing all the time and that never helps when you're trying to be inconspicuous." Jessie hit the stop button and then rewind, slowing herself to a walk. Zechs, grateful, slowed next to her and continued to try and hold the "evil conscience" outfit together. Stupid excuses.
"I want pants."
"We can shave a few llamas and make you pants." Jessie grunted, sticking the player back into her pocket.
"Why did I have to wear this again?" CZ just liked annoying her with the question. He had asked it about fifty times before. Like always, she turned angry eyes on his and frowned.
"I've already told you."
"Tell me again. I like hearing about how stupid you are." Jessie smacked him on the back of his head.
"Shut up. It's a cute outfit."
"If by cute, you mean utterly embarrassing and horrible uncomfortable, then yes, it's cute. Now tell me."
"No. You already know. The next time you ask, it's going to cost you a leather strap." She looked at him sideways. "Ask again."
"that's okay. I think I get the point." He clung protectively to his three straps and four brass rings. "I want pants."
"I told you, we'll shave some lla-" Jessie stopped.
"Wha-"
"SHH!" She hissed, putting her finger to her lips. Then she stood up on her tip toes and looked around behind them. Not only was it now the middle of the night and a full moon (when all the crazies came out), she was sure she kept hearing someone or thing behind her. First a whoosh of air. Then a snapped twig. Something was following them. Jessie prayed it wasn't Akira and Sailor Insanity. She almost lost her CZ last time they saw each other.
As if the thought horrified her, Jessie threw her arms around Zechs protectively and started walking faster, changing direction from the llama and spork hiding place.
"Uh, you're not helping here," Zechs commented, juggling the straps between his fingers.
"Do you want pants or not?" His eyebrow rose.
"We're not going to shave llamas?"
"No, we will but llama hair might give you a rash or something and pants really aren't the best thing to make with llama fur." CZ sighed happily.
"Pants. Wow. My own pair of pants!" he wondered dreamily. "I wonder what I should get. Cargo? Maybe a pair of Khakis. Oh, I know! I've always envied those people with Wranglers." Jessie looked at him sideways.
"You've been without pants for maybe a day. What IS your problem?? It couldn't have been that bad!" Zechs jerked the two short straps closer to her face. "Okay okay! Point taken!" she screamed, waving her hands in front of her.
"I've found you!!" Jessie and CZ whirled around. Akira grinned down at them from her ebony scythe. Sailor Insanity can running up after them, panting and clutching her side.
"Just got- a little- lil- stitch," she gasped, falling against a tree closest to her.
"And the two of you couldn't rid on that thing why?" Jessie asked in disbelief.
"Nevermind that! You lied! Pokey wasn't there!!" SD Akira pouted momentarily. "Anyway! I want my llamas!! And my sporks!"
"Y-y-ya-h," Insanity managed to chorus. "Give- em-" she fell over out the ground. "Just- give- me- a- a- min-ute." Zechs rolled his eyes.
"Doesn't look like she'll be trying to attack me/love me anytime soon." Jessie elbowed him in the ribs.
"Don't provoke," she whispered harshly from the corner of her mouth.
"WHERE ARE MY LLAMAS???" SD Akira demanded loudly.
"Uh uh uh-"
"Don't you dare start that again," Zechs criticized harshly.
"You're just mad because you aren't wearing any pants!" Jessie screamed back, pulling a leather strap from his outfit. Zechs scrambled to keep himself covered.
"Hey! I don't have time for this! My llamas! I miss them so," Akira wore a look of forlonging.
"Don't bitch to me about it," Jessie muttered sulkily, glaring evilly at Zechs who was returning her look with just as much loathing.
"Okay, that's it! If you aren't going to cooperate, I'm taking your evil conscience." Akira grabbed Zechs in one swoop and speed off towards the sky with him.
"No wait!" Jessie screamed, reaching out to stop her with the leather strap still in hand. Sailor Insanity got up, swaying a little, and started back the way she came slowly jogging. "Okay that's it! no more Ms. Nice Girl!" Jessie reached into her pocket and pulled out an old watch she kept after her and her friend went their separate ways. "DARK SKY TRANSFORM!" she screamed, slipping the watch on to her wrist. In a flash of black light (yep, it's possible and it's really coolies too! ^^), Jessie was transformed into Dark Sky, DS for short, and all her glory. DS adjusted her short black leather skirt, zipped up the sides of her knee high, black leather, high hell boots and swished back her trademark trenchcoat. "It's certainly been awhile," she muttered. She checked to make sure the plain old looking watch had changed into a butterfly bracelet, like she had programmed it to do.
"I'll get you back CZ," she promised, charging a whip into her hands. "Right after I get some info." Uncoiling the whip, DS looked over to where Insanity had fallen over breathless. "Insanity! Doll! I need some information!!" DS waved and ran over in her direction.


CZ clung to Akira desperately as they speed down the highway at high and dangerous speeds. But Akira was oblivious to that for the simple fact she was singing a song about trains.
"Um, excuse me, Miss Akira, but... ah, where are we going?" CZ whined for the 7 time in the last 5 mins.
"To get you some pants! I'm loyal to my Vincent!" Akira giggled and added softly, "and Sephiroth and Quistis..."
"REALLY? You're giving me PANTS!?" CZ asked excitedly as he thought of finally wearing real clothes.
Akira nodded, landing her Scythe in front of the mall and hopped off. Walking into the mall, she saw the weird looks as they saw a SD girl with 6 wings, a 10 foot scythe, and an almost naked Bishonen. The last one, the half naked Bishonen, got a lot of whistles from the ladies, though.
"Where are going to get my pants?" CZ sang.
Thinking for a moment, she replied, "Hot Topic. They got the niftiest pants there! Leather, vinyl, over-sized skater pants... You name it!"
Uncharacteristically, CZ almost facefaulted. Though remaining silent, he followed the 5 year old into the store and went through the rescue- in a twisted way- of being fitted into vinyl pants.


Anna stared numbly up at the sky. She was tired, but the Insane Pretty Sailor Soldier refused to ride on that Scythe. That just wasn't right... So she had to run; run because the Moo Mecha was in the shop.
"This sucks," Anna wailed as DS came over to her. Meeting the evil version of Jessie, Anna gave her finger, pulled out a pair of Matt's lacy underwear and took a deep breath of them.
"MmmmmMmmm! Heavenly!" The insane Selphie clone purred.
DS stopped mid step. "Please tell me you did not just smell those panties." Insanity nodded vigorously and inhaled their smell again. DS gagged then snapped her whip, catching the underwear with the end of it and ripping them out of
Anna's reach.
"Hey!" she yelled, scrambling up to retrieve the lost undergarment. DS yawned, stretched and with one flick of her wrist, sent the whip whirling towards Insanity, wrapping itself around her ankles and causing her to trip. It didn't help matters when DS yanked hard on her end and drug Insanity farther and farther away from her beloved's underwear. "No! NO!!"
"I'll let you have your precious, lacy treasure back if you tell me where Akira is going," DS informed her sweetly. "If not, I can destroy them in the blink of an eye." Anna glared at her, debating weather she should betray Akira for a
pair of underwear. But then again, they WERE very special underwear. . . Thankfully, she didn't have to decide right away. DS was watching her coldly when her stomach began to growl. "Oh damn, I haven't eaten all day. " she grumbled, "what a
bloody nescience." Complaining to herself, DS walked over to a nearby tree and knocked two times, paused, then knocked four more times. Out of the trees ran a little squirrel holding up, amazingly, a bag of Cooler Rancher chips and 16 oz. water bottle.
"here Ms. Sky, Dark ma'am." DS smiled approvingly and took the snacks from the furry woodland creature.
"Very good Skip. Back into the tree now." Skip run back up the tree and disappeared into the leaves. DS sat resentfully at the trees base and started eating, glaring evilly at nothing in particular.
Anna realized this was her chance to get away. Or at least get the panties back. With the wisdom of a three year old, Anna climbed to her feet and started hopping over to wear the underwear flew. Had she untied her feet, maybe DS
wouldn't have noticed her. "Ah, don't do that! I don't wanna have to hurt you or anything. I just want my Zechs back. Much like you want those panties." Insanity ignored her, sure that she had succeeded and grabbed the underwear off the ground.
"Well, I did warn you, I suppose." Anna whirled around just as DS screamed out, "Lightening Bolt". The air charged with electricity and suddenly, a crash of lightening rippled through the air, directly at Anna. She screamed but stopped when she realized she wasn't dead . . . but the panties were. A small pile of ashes lay at her feet and, as she checked, her eyebrows were gone.
"AKIRA'S AT THE MALL BUYING ZECHS PANTS! CHECK HOT TOPIC!" she screamed just before passing out next to the pile. DS nodded grimily.
"Good thing I didn't tell her my aim was off. I was trying for the tree a few meters behind her." DS got up and knocked on the tree once, paused then once more. Skip scudded back down and sat, waiting for her orders. "Skip, I need you
to watch out for Insanity here. When she wakes up, call Squally or SK and they'll come and pick her up. At
least, I think they will." DS handed Skip the number to the ML phone and pulled out a lone pokéball from under her trenchcoat. "GO!" she screamed, throwing the pokéball onto the ground. Out popped a five ton, sunset orange lizard with wings and a fire on it's tail. "Flashlight!" Flashlight cooed happily. "Come on, we have to go to the mall!"
"char char char zar?"
"Okay, we'll pick you up some red pumps while we're there," DS sighed, clamoring on to her pet's back. Flashlight gave one last roar and leaped into the air, headed straight for the mall.
**
Zechs pulled on his new pants, trying to get them sit right. "This isn't working." Akira threw a dangerous look over her shoulder.
"Stop complaining. It's better than what you had." CZ nodded in agreement but continued to pull them down then up then adjusting the crotch.
"It's still not working. Are they suppose to be - you know- so- so-"
"YES!" she yelled, handing the money over to the cashier. "Now knock it off!" The buffy blond man behind the counter handed her the receipt and winked at her. Akira was appalled that he would hit on her when she looked like she was
five. That and he wasn't at all a bishounen. "Bite me," she growled back at the cashier, sticking the receipt
in her pocket and pulling Zechs out of the store.
"Where now? Can I have more pants?? Oh oh! How about-"
"QUIET!! How does she put up with you?" Akira wondered aloud, walking ahead of Zechs.
After a long, ackward silence, Zechs started talking again. "Well, where are we going?"
"To find my llamas and sporks!" she growled, unwittingly.
"What is so damned special about llamas and sporks??" Zechs asked impatiently, having heard quiet enough of the Godly llamas and Holy Sporks. If she started crying again, he was going to strangle her with his old outfit.
"How dare you say 'damned' when referring to my llamas!!" she screamed, spinning to face him. "Why I ought-"
"What's going on over there?" CZ started walking towards where a big crowd was gathering.
"No! Flashlight! Let go of the shoe! Let go! It's not yours!! Ugh-" a blue high heel flew out from the center of the crowd and something hit the floor inside. "I'm really sorry about that ma'am. Sometimes he just can't help himself. Ow! Hey! There's no need for violence! No, Flashlight! Don't bite her!!" The crowd reared back in horror and the girl in the middle of the fray was apologizing profusely, trying to pull something away from the woman she was apologizing to. Zechs started fighting his way up to the front of the crowed, Akira following closely.
DS was tugging on Flashlight's tail with all her might, yelling at him to stop scaring the nice lady. The Nice Lady was shrieking and crying while Flashlight sniffed her shoe then tried to pull it off. "No, really! He just likes your shoes! He
won't eat you! He's a vegan!" DS protested, now in front of Flashlight, trying to push him away. CZ realized who
it was in an instant and tried to back pedal, running into Akira.
"Hey! Watch it" Akira yelled, pushing herself forward. DS stopped trying to hold Flashlight back.
"That voice could only belong to. . ." DS looked up and over. "AKIRA!! And with Akira is . . ." DS looked around at the faces in the crowd, not finding the one she so desperately wanted to see. "Zechs?" she asked the six year old
depressedly.
"Yes! Take him away! He's such a WHINER!" DS glared at her.
"He's not a whiner. He just likes to whine, that's all." She started through the crowd of people, looking at everyone, trying to find his. "Where is he?"
"he was right in front of me," Akira mumbled as she crawled between
a pair of legs.
"How can you loss someone right in front of you!!" DS demanded, pulling herself out the back of the crowd. The people were still watching Flashlight harass the poor woman who dared to wear high heeled shoes. "OH! ZECHS!!" DS caught
sight of him running for the exit. Within seconds, DS had somehow managed to catch up with him and attach herself to his back, making it impossible for him to run without tripping over her dangling feet.
"No! I'm not going back!! I love Akira! AKIRA! LET GO!!!!" Tears welled up in DS's eyes as she whimpered piteously. "That's not going to work this time," he warned. DS ignored him and nuzzled the small of the back with her nose.
"Please?" she asked quietly.
"No means no Nekio!" he declared, trying to shed her like a snake sheds it's dead skin. "Now let go!!!" DS dropped to the floor and stared quietly at the ground.
"It couldn't have been that bad."
"How about I dress you up like that sometime and make you walk down the street!" he yelled, distancing himself from her quickly.
She brightened. "YOU'LL COME BACK WITH ME THEN??"
"NO!! Leave me alone!!" Zechs stalked off towards the door.
"Okay. That was harsh." DS said to no one. Finally, she got up and turned around, seeing Akira trying to look inconspicuous by looking at the mall directory. As DS got closer, Akira mumbled "hmm, food court, maybe I should go visit. D-6."
"That says F-12." Akira laughed nervously.
"Oh yah, huh. Okay! Where are my llamas!??" DS rolled her eyes and handed her a piece of paper.
"That tells you how to find them. Just make sure Flashlight gets to the ML okay. I want to get him back in his pokéball but I think he should be out a little longer."
Akira took the piece of paper, eyes glistening with unshed tears, "My llamas."
"See ya back at ML!" DS called, powering down into Jessie as she ran off.
**
Back at the mailing list, Jessie lounged in the main room, reading her latest issue of Newsweek, grinning happily to herself. A giggle escaped her. Squally looked up from her chair, staring at Jessie. "What's so funny?"
Jessie shook her head. "Nothing. No one thing." Squally looked back down at her magazine until Jessie giggled again.
"Okay, what is it?"
"Okay, I'll tell you but promise to keep it a secret?" Squally rose her eyebrow but nodded. "The direction I gave Akira, they aren't real."
"She's going to kill you."
"Yep, I know."
"What about Zechs?" Squally inquired, putting her magazine down on the table in front of them.
"what about him?"
"Has he forgiven you yet?"
"Oh no. But he will."
"How do you know?"
"He's part of my mind. He can't help himself. He's just too proud to admit he misses me." Jessie looked over her shoulder, catching Zechs looking their way. He quickly busied himself. "hehehe." Squally just rolled her eyes and got up to
go get something to eat.
**
Somewhere in the Middle East. . .
"I don't see any llamas, Akira," Yapi announced. "Let me see the directions." Akira handed over the direction and continued down the dark desert cave. "Uh, did you even read these?"
"Yes, how do you think we got here?" she answered irritably.
"All the way through?"
"Well, no," she admitted. Yapi shoved the paper under her nose.
"Read the last line."

Somewhere on Pluto . . .
A faint scream is heard.

Akira looked up, blankly, cupped her ear, and listened. Listening for something that was not there. Scratching her head, she looked at Yapi for a moment.
"I don't get it. I'm not hearing anything from Pluto that sounds like a faint scream!" Akira whined for the first time.
Smacking Akira up side her little SD head, the Whip Mistress shook her head sadly. Taking the piece of paper from the poor confused natural blonde, Yapi enlightened her, "meaning, she tricked you! She set you up!"
"Oh... Well, that sucks! Time to play dirty now!" SD girl shouted angrily. "CSe come out here!"
A beautiful silver hair bishonen in a pink mini skirt and white baby tee ran out. His beautiful green eyes sparkled in the admist of all his Bishonen, but he looked annoyed. Glaring at Akira, he hissed, "what do you want?! Aeris and I were having such a LOVELY tea party! I mean, you should see the gorgeous baby pin-"
His eyes fell upon Yapi, then turned bright red in embarrassment. Snapping his delicate fingers, he was in usual black SOLDIER General Uniform. Continuing, he spoke in a not-so valley girl tone, "I mean, we were discussing, um, evil stuff! So, eh, what do you want?"
"I need to be evil Conscious Sephiroth!" Akira whined to her Conscious.
"Well, first stop whining. Second, you need to get the black Materia and-"
"That didn't work for you, so why would it work for me?" The SD girl announced, glaring slightly at CSe for such a stupid suggestion.
"Well, ah, get CZ to join you and show you where the llamas are or whatever. Or make Jessie do it, I don't know!" CSe retorted and he started working on his nails.
"HmmMmm, now that could work!" Yapi added encouragingly.
Thinking of what she could do, she called for her Good Conscious.... "HEY CN!"
Conscious Noin appeared in nothing more then a tight White Toga and looking rather pleased for once. "Yes?"
"I need your help..."