That door left ajar

A GMW fanfic

Summary: Maya ponders about what transpired between her and Lucas down in Texas while wondering how things got to the way they were.

Bitterness is, in itself, not only a sense of taste, but also a feeling not to be taken for granted, Maya thought as she was painting her new masterpiece in the art room.

Having the room to herself meant having to collect her chaotic thoughts and turbulent heart. With no one else bothering her, she was left alone in peace.

A rift had already developed between her and her best friend Riley over one of their friends, the good-looking, good-natured Texan boy named Lucas Friar. It hurts Maya to know that her long-built friendship should become shaky over some crush on a guy.

Maya didn't even know when it all started. She knew that when she first saw Lucas on the train that she found him cute. Strutting over to him, she speed-dated him, their relationship ending in just a minute. Little did Maya know that the said new guy would become her classmate, best friend, and cause for her heartache. Fate was just cruel.

Maya has a small thing for Lucas, yet she decided not to delve on it and decided to step back for Riley. In her heart, the blonde girl felt that anything she'd feel was worthless. Heck, her emotions had never been considered, even by the people she loved the most. She was always left behind, and so, she decided that being the second best was always her spot, even among her circle of friends.

She knew that Farkle loved them both girls, but that the nerd guy had always loved Riley. And Zay, Lucas' childhood friend from Texas, would always choose Riley over Maya. And as the cliché, Maya is still second best.

Calling Lucas names was one of the things Maya didn't know why she bothered to start. It probably was because she hated how a boy from a rural place would come to fit in in New York City. Maya always had to categorize people, and Lucas was no exception. She calls him Hop Along, Sundance, Ranger Rick, Huckleberry and Bucky McBoing Boing, amongst a string of other cowboy references. She did a cowboy dance for him once in the school hall just to irritate him. But Lucas was just cool with that, and he decided to play along with their little games. In the long run, he even gave Maya a few monikers: Short Stack of Pancakes, The Other One and Blonde Beauty.

The last moniker elicited a feeling of importance to Maya. For once, a guy had called her beautiful. It contrasted with Riley being called just pretty. Maya liked it. Beautiful is much more meaningful and deep than pretty.

When Josh Matthews appeared, Maya's life was a bit in a wreck. But Riley's uncle questioned her infatuation for him. He was a little older than her, he said. And as much as Maya would like for her feelings for Josh to continue, things just didn't work out well for her.

Her mom, though, had it better. After having a very bad start with Maya's dad, Kermit, Katy finally found happiness in Shawn Hunter, Cory Matthew's best friend. This was one thing Maya was very happy about. But she also wished the same happiness would be bestowed on her.

The Yearbook changed everything. When Farkle decided to become Donnie Barnes and Riley decided to become Morotia M. Black, Maya decided to become Riley to get her friends back to earth. As Riley, Maya was saying her stupid speech about "him and her being alike, coming from the same sunshiney families", and a realization suddenly dawned on her. From her point of view, Riley had loved Lucas all along like a brother, not as a boyfriend. And as the blonde was stuttering her dialogue, Lucas raised his brows because he didn't seem to get the gist. But it was different with Riley. That afternoon, when Riley asked Maya what the latter had found out about the former, Maya said she didn't find anything.

And that "anything" was what Riley had discovered after Lucas' stint riding on the fearsome bull. Seeing Maya from afar, looking perplexed and pale and relieved made Riley conclude that Maya did have feelings for Lucas after all.

When Riley confronted Maya with the truth, the brunette felt hurt. As sisters, they were supposed to share their secrets. And that secret had been hidden from Riley way before the Yearbook fiasco began. She deduced that Maya teased Lucas because her blonde friend liked the Texan guy.

Things went downhill when Farkle had also guessed that Maya liked Lucas. And when Maddie and Tae sang a love song, things were awkward.

Then, the inevitable came. Riley, over at the campfire, revealed to Lucas what Maya had been hiding all along. Maya knew that it was Riley's specialty to try to fix things, but this time, it was making things worse. Riley and Farkle left, leaving Maya and Lucas to talk things out.

"You like me?" Lucas asked.

"No." Maya retorted.

Maya went to say that she didn't want him to win the rodeo because he might get too conceited. Lucas wasn't buying any of that, and he prodded on. Yet Maya dodged his questions like bullets. When Lucas kept looking at her, Maya felt like everything that she had bottled up for the longest time decided to burst and spill. She confessed that she thought Riley and Lucas were like brother and sister. And for the life of her, she decided not to tell her best friend for fear of breaking Riley's delicate heart. Maya scoffed in her mind. It was always Riley's delicate heart that had to be protected, while her, Maya Hart's, will always be shattered.

"Why do you make fun of me?" Lucas asked again. He was not satisfied with how Maya and Riley had been treating him.

"Because you're easy to make fun of!"

"Okay, then stop."

"Because you're a Huckleberry, because you're a Ranger Rick-"

"Would you stop?"

"Look, if I had feelings for you, don't you think I'd just come out and say it? Well, I don't, so what I do say is ha-hurr-"

And just like that, everything changed. Lucas instinctively held Maya's face, and he almost kissed her.

Maya shuddered at that memory.

Yes, the boy still liked Riley, but what was he doing with her? Was that just a "heat of the moment thing", or was there something else. Lucas confessed he didn't know what he was doing, and he probably was mentally kicking himself for doing something stupid. And that little stupid thing shattered Maya's heart. She then confessed that she does like Lucas, and that she wouldn't have known what she'd do if the boy she liked got hurt riding on a bull.

XXX

The sun was starting to hurt Maya's eyes. Sighing, she put her brush down as she stood up and drew the drape halfway over the window to shield her eyes. Eying her masterpiece, she picked up her brush and continued painting.

The Texas fiasco had been the turning point of the group's friendship. In came Charlie Gardner, and all reasons were thrown out the window. Farkle had to point it out to Riley that she still was in love with Lucas. But the brunette wanted her blonde friend to be happy by letting the latter date with the guy in question. You stepped back, was what Riley had told her in Texas. It turned out, Maya and Lucas' relationship was just as awkward as what Riley and Lucas' once had been.

Two days after the second date, Maya had a real talk with Lucas. She found him in the library, looking for a history book that was a requirement for Mr. Matthew's current assignment.

"I needed to talk to you, Lucas." Maya was pensive and she was nervously toying the ring on her finger.

"Is something wrong, Maya?" Lucas looked at his friend. He noticed that Maya's head had been bowed, and so, tipping her chin up, looked at her, searching her blue eyes for answers. All he saw was a flood of tears threatening to fall.

"I'm so sorry, Huckleberry, I placed us at a very bad situation. It was never my intention for things to be this way," Maya said as she tried to contain her emotions and her tears. "But I never wanted things to change the way they had always been."

"Oh, Maya," Lucas sighed as he held Maya's hands.

"I think we should break up."

That sudden statement caught Lucas by surprise. It felt like a strong jab coming unknowingly at him.

"Is this a version of another bad joke, Maya?"

Maya sighed as a tear finally fell from her face.

"I'm sorry, Lucas. I didn't want to do this. But I think I just forced you into a relationship I knew you didn't even want to have. I knew we were doomed from the start. And I knew that, in your heart, you still loved Riley."

"Maya-"

"When you told Riley what she thought about your relationship was not what you thought it was, I already knew the answer. You didn't want to be with me. And I'm cool with that. I just wished you had been honest with me and told me you didn't want even want to have a date with me. I can understand that. I love you, Lucas, and I wanted you to be happy. I just wanted us to go back to getting on each other's nerves like we used to. I don't like things to change and be awkward between us."

And with that, Maya scurried out of the library, leaving Lucas baffled and unable to retort.

A knock at the door cut off her stream of thoughts and her hand with the brush was suspended in the air.

"Maya?"

God, that familiar voice was a torture to her now. But Maya didn't want to show that she was still bitter over not being chosen.

Turning to the door, she smiled as she greeted Lucas.

The guy stood in awe looking at her. While the drape was partly covering the window, a stray bit of sunshine hit Maya's hair and face, giving her a heavenly glow that Lucas swore he thought was beautiful.

"Hi," he greeted her back.

Seconds of awkward silence ensues before Lucas finally strode over to the other side of the room to grab a chair. He headed to were Maya was and sat a few inches near her.

"So, uhm, the group decided to watch a movie tomorrow at Farkle's house at two in the afternoon. Do you want to come?"

The phrase with me was suspended somewhere between the lines, and Maya blinked as she looked at her painting, her mouth agape and at a loss for words. In the normal scheme of things, Lucas would always ask Riley out first before he'd even bother to ask Maya. And as the cliché goes, she's still the second best.

"Well, I, uh…" Maya started to, but she stopped. She couldn't even look at Lucas the way she used to. Her hand was cold and she gripped on her paintbrush nervously than what she'd like.

"Well?"

"Huckleberry…"

The moniker left a bitter taste to her mouth. It was kind of ironic that the classical fictional character alongside Tom Sawyer, both characters well-loved by many, should be the moniker Maya would give to the guy that she loved.

"Hey, I can tell them we can't, and the two of us can do something else. What do you say?"

Lucas was hopeful that Maya would finally open up after shutting herself from her friends for a few days. He wanted to give Maya the time of the day and just let them mend their friendship like the way they used to. He also wanted to explain.

"You can go with them, Huckleberry. I'll be fine …" The voice sounded defeated and tired.

And suddenly, Lucas stood up and hugged Maya.

"What have I done for you to deserve this?" A muffled whisper, almost to the brink of crying, was heard.

Maya held Lucas' arm as she inhaled the scent that enticed her. It was also one of the reasons she loved the guy. His presence was just as repulsive and just as comforting, his chest rock and pillow to her head.

"You don't have to be sorry. It was all my fault."

Lucas retracted from the embrace and looked down at his petite friend.

"No. I'm very sorry for unknowingly hurting your feeling. Honestly, I don't even know what wrong I have done, but it hurts me to see you like this, Maya. I care for you, deeply…more than you'll ever know. I have to be honest, and you know I'm an honest guy. I knew you liked me, and I think it was not mere infatuation. You did love me, Maya. How could you explain your outrage over me ridding that bull and you trying to stop me from doing so? I knew Riley did it for me because she trusted me and knew that I can do it. But you feared for my life. I have never felt anything like that before. I never even expected that from you, considering all the mockery you always give me.

But Maya, I…I just don't know how I really feel for you. It doesn't mean I don't like you. I like you, Maya, but not the 'like' you showed me. Forgive me; I'm just as confused as you are. I'm really sorry…"

Lucas looked at his friend again as Maya unabashedly shed streams of tears down her beautiful face. Another door was closed. But in reality, that door was left ajar.

"I knew it," she muttered softly as she closed her eyes and wept bitterly. It felt like knives kept stabbing her heart, yet she was bleeding dry.

"Hey, I just said I'm confused. I have to admit, yes, I still love Riley, but with this happening, I was even more confused." Lucas said as he wiped the tears off Maya's eyes. "It doesn't mean I don't love you. You are a dear friend of mine, Maya, and I'm your friend. I'm sorry if things had been rushed between us. I'm sorry if we broke up. But I'm still here for you, and you can always have me. It breaks my heart seeing you like this. We never know. One day, I can finally hold your hands without us feeling ill with each other."

"Don't set my hopes high, Ranger Rick, or I will kill you." Maya muttered as she gave a weak smile.

Lucas chuckled even with tears in his eyes. "There you go, my Little Stack of Pancakes…my Blonde Beauty. You managed to threaten me now. Welcome back. I missed you so much."

"And I missed you too, Cowboy," Maya answered.

For she was Maya Hart, a strong girl with a fragile heart. People always took her for granted. But now, she knows that Lucas Friar was just as trustworthy as he is honest. Maya knew she'll never get what she wanted from Lucas, yet she decided to just settle for what she had right now. After all, bitterness is still a feeling, and setting her hopes high would hurt her even more. She decided to keep her feeling at bay even though she unknowingly placed her heart on her sleeve for Lucas to see. Someday might or might not come. Who knows…