A Streetcar Named Hinata

A/N: In case you all didn't know, this is from the Simpson's episode 'A Streetcar Named Marge' and after I watched it I thought it would make a great Naruto parody fanfic since Marge and Hinata are kinda the same; what with the whole living with someone who doesn't appresiate you. With Marge it's Homer and with Hinata it's Hiashi. Anyway enjoy!


It was a nice cool evening in Konohagakure. The sun was barley setting, the stars where about to come out, and the Hyuga family was in the middle of a friendly training session; well at least three of them.

"Come at me one more time Hanabi." said Hiashi Hyuga in a monotone voice to his youngest daughter who was panting like a dog from exhaustion.

"Yes father." she replied as she charged once again with full speed, hoping to land a hit on the elder Hyuga. She aimed a hit on his upper torso but was imidiatly swatted away by a counter hit. After a quick recovery she got down on the ground and tried to trip him only to have Hiashi back flip out of there. He aimed for a strick to her chest, but the little girl succeded in blocking his arm and 'disabling it'.

"Good, go sit down now, Neji it's your turn." said Hiashi motioning for the girl to leave and for the the boy in the corner to join in their training session. With a nod Neji charged at Hiashi, gental fist prepared. He launched several stricks at the head of the family, all of which have been blocked. Just as the Hyuga protege was about to disarm one of the elder man's stricks a meak voice rang in.

"Everyone I won't be staying for our training session, so I'll be leaving dinner on the table." said Hinata Hyuga from inside the house.

"Uh-huh," replied the three Hyugas in union as they resumed with their training. Thinking they didn't hear her, Hinata stepped outside the door a little to make herself known.

"I'm auditioning for a local play. It's a musical version of 'A Streetcar Named Desire'." she said.

"Sound's interesting." said Hiashi, not really paying attention. "Neji, Hanabi, both of you come at me this time."

The two children nodded their heads as they took their fighter's stance and charged.

"I've never been in a play before. I figured it could help me with my social skills and meet new people. Usually I spend all my time working on my medicens, training and cooking that I don't seem to exsist." stated the bluenett, hoping to strick a conversation with her neglectful family.

"Sounds interesting." repeated Hiashi while doging his attacker's stricks; only to hault them for a breif moment to look at Hinata. "I'm sorry Hinata what where you saying?" he asked while stepping away from his daughter and nephew.

"Never mind." replied Hinata miserably as she walked back inside.

"Okay, this time it's a battle royal. This is to test to see if you can handle two opponents at once." said Hiashi, addressing this more to Hanabi since Neji has plenty of experence in that catagory.

All three Hyugas charged at eachother. Hanabi was immeditaly taken out by one of Neji's strikes, only to counter by drop kicking him. Hiashi aimed for a skrike at the smallest Hyuga while she was still on the ground but she immeditaly rolled out of the way, flipped over him and aimed a kick at Neji's head. Just as she was a few centimeters from her target, the Hyuga protege grabbed hold of her ankel and threw her at her father; who in turn caught her.

--

Inside Hinata was passing the time by playing a song that was featured in the play until it was time for her to go to her audition.

"La la la la la la la!" she sang beautifully as she worked on her tone.

"Hinata, keep it down in there!" yelled her father from outside.

"Father my audition is in half an--!" Hinata tried to speak but was interupted by her sister.

"Ow! Not so hard Neji, we're just sparing!"

"Sorry..." replied Neji.

"Alright lets break." said Hiashi as the three sat down on the benches and drank some tea. As they drank Hinata passed by them with her shoes on and her hair done up a little.

"And where are you heading off to?" asked Hiashi in a not-to-caring voice to Hinata's backside.

"I'm auditioning for a play." replied Hinata in slight annoyence while rolling her eyes.

"Well this is the first time I've heard about it." replied the head of the family in shock. Hinata spun around to face him; she did not looked pleased.

"I told you several time! It's a musical version of 'A Streetcar Nam--!"

"Hinata I think if you told me I would have remembered, I'm not an idiot." replied Hiashi as if he was talking to a three-year-old.

"I-I could have sworn I told you..." replied Hinata shyly, who was begining to doubt her own accuracy.

"Kids back me up." replied Hiashi while continuing to sip his tea.

"He's right Hinata." seconded Neji as he too sipped his tea.

"Sorry Hinata..." said Hanabi, who actually seemed genuian.

"Gee, I thought I told you...I'm sorry." she apologized.

"Well don't let it happen again. You're a ninja Hinata you can't afford to misplace information, especially if your on a mission." stated Hiashi coldly as he went back to his tea drinking.

"Hmmm..." groaned Hinata sadly as she turned and headed for her audition.


At the Konoha Community Center the prospective performers for 'Oh Streetcar!' were warming up until the director comes. Hinata was in the center of the stage looking at all the people who were auditioning. She immeditaly recognized Ino, Shikamaru, Choji, Lee, Tenten, Kiba, and Shino.

Funny, she didn't remember Kiba and Shino telling her they were gonna audition.

"Hey Hinata!" came a happy cry. The Hyuga heiress turned to her left and saw non other then her life long crush, Naruto Uzumaki.

"N-Naruto!" cried Hinata, who's face was turning red. "I-I didn'nt know you were trying out..." she said while twiddling her fingures.

"We all are!" came a female voice from behind Naruto. Hinata tilted her head to the side and spotted Sakura Haruno, in her hands was a script. "Actually Kakashi-sensei wanted us all to audition, thinking it would help our social skills, mainly Sasuke."

"Yeah, but Sasuke didn't want to so sensei promised Sasuke he'd teach him a secret technique if he went along with it." replied Naruto smuggly, tilting his head towards the back of the auditiorium where the Uchiha avenger was standing.

Hinata looked on and saw Sasuke looking through the script with an intent look on his face. On closer inspection Hinata could see the Uchiha heir's sharingan activated; no doubt trying to memorize the script faster. Hinata frowned a little at the fact that the stoic boy was doing this for a chance to learn a new ninjutsu instead of for the cultural enrichment.

Just then the doors to the auditiorium burst opened and in came a young middle aged man wearing a blue yukata and white sandles. His black hair was short and combed to the side and his face was pale and sturn looking. He marched up to all the performers and stared down at all of them as if he were a sargent trying to intimidate new recrutes.

"Hello, I am Akira Yagami. I have directed three plays in my career, and I have had three heart attacks. That's how much I care, I'm planning for a fourth." he said rather proudly. Hinata began twiddling her fingures.

"M-maybe I should have taken a nice calligraphy class..." she said out loud unintentially.

"Oh, forget it. That Mr. Toda is a lunatic!" replied Choji, who was standing next to her the whole time.

"Quit over there!" cried Akira.

"Sorry..." replied Choji quitely as Akira continued.

"I am not an easy man to work for. While directing 'The King and I', I reduced more than one cast member to tears. Did I expect too much from nine-year-olds?" he asked. The rest of the performers stared at him wide eyed.

"The review," he continued as he pulled out a piece of paper from his shirt and showed it to the rest. "'Play enjoyed by all' speaks for itself." he said with much pride.

"All right, lets get down to bussiness. Those of you auditioning for the role of Stanley, take off you're shirts." he said simply while walking up and down the line of people. Everyone, mostly the boys, just stared at each other in confusion.

Sasuke sneered at this. Turning to his left he could see the majority of his fan girls (two being Sakura and Ino, and even Tenten was blushing and giggling) staring at him with big stars in their eyes and drool coming out of their mouth, no doubt they'd take a good eyeful of him.

'There's no way a new technique is worth this.'

Hinata blused perfusly.

'If all the boys are gonna take off their shirts then that means...Naruto...' Hinata felt faint, but tried her best to keep her balance.

Akira turned around sharply and looked frustrated seeing as the boys haven't done what he told them yet.

"Take off you're shirts!" he yelled. "We're auditioning for a play, move it! Move it!"

Without a second thought all the guys removed their shirts and tossed them to the floor. Immediatly a squeal of pre-pubesent girls occupied the ears of all the performers at seeing the Uchiha heart throb slowly taking off his shirt.

"Quite all of you this is an audition not a Calvin Klein modeling studio! We are here to put on a play and if that's the way you all are going to behave then leave!" yelled Akira at the squealing pigs called girls.

The broken hearted fans lowered their heads in shame for their behavior and Sasuke silently thanked God for Akira's stern autority.

'I might get through this after all.'

With the atmosphere calming down Akira began to march up and down the line of performers eyeing their physiques, and one by one turning them down.

"Nope, no, no, try joining a gym..." just as he approuched Naruto to take a look at him, his eyes bugged out of their sockets.

"Oh my God!" he cried while staring at his abdomen.

"What?" asked the blond genuinly confused until he looked down at his stomach and noticed that his seal was showing for all to see.

"Eeep--!" he yelped while covering his stomach and running to the back of the auditorium. Akira turned to look at Sasuke, studying his physique, then he looked up at his face and noticed his stoic face which clearly said 'I wish I wasn't here'. Immidiatly Akira made up his mind.

"You-you're my Stanley." he said while walking away.

"Congradulasions Sasuke!" cheered Sakura and Ino as they made their way to their crush.

"Hn," grunted Sasuke as he picked up his shirt and walked to the back of the stage.

"Well if Sasuke is playing Stanley, then that means someone has to play Blanche, his object of interest. I wonder who..." said Ino in a teasing sort of way to Sakura.

"I don't know..." replied Sakura, though Inner Sakura had a different opinion.

'DUH! I'M GONNA PLAY BLANCHE, SO STAY AWAY FROM HIM YOU HAG!!'

"Alright, everyone auditioning for Blanche please form one line." said Akira as he sat down in his chair as he listened to all the girls numbers.

"Hey look me over--!" Sakura began to sing but was turned down.

"Next!" cried Akira irritated. The pink haired girl walked to the back of the line with her head down. Ino walked up next with a sneer on her face as she began to sing her number.

"Won't you come home Bill Baily--!"

"Next!" yelled Akira.

"What?!" yelled Ino in outrage.

"You heard me Marilyn--Back of the line!"

Ino growled as she stomped off to the back of the line, while listening to the other girls giggle at her tantrum.

"Aww did poor Ino-pig not get the part?" said Sakura in tone a mom would use when talking to a baby.

"You didn't either!" yelled the angry blond.

"Quite back there!" yelled Akira as he listened to the next auditioner, Tenten.

"There's got to be a--!"

"Next!" yelled Akira, obviously losing his pationts. Finally Hinata made her way up.

"La--!"

"Thank you--For nothing!" said Akira aggetated.

Hinata hung her head in sorrow. She didn't even get past the first silable and she was already turned down.

'I-I guess I'm not ment to do this...' she thought sadly as she walked to the nearest pay phone.

"You're all terrible!" yelled Akira as he got up and faced the girls. "What you ladies don't understand is that Blanche is delicate flower being trampled by an uncouth lout." finding it hopless Akira just brushed off the other girls and began walking away.

"Forget it, just strick the sets, and clear the stage, we're done here!" but as he was about to head for the back door a tiny voice caught his attention.

"Father...I didn't get the part. You were right, outside interests are stupid..."

Akira turned around only to spot the blue haired girl he had just turned down. She was talking into a pay phone with her head bowed down, and her face looked...rather sad.

"Wait a minute..." he said to himself as he continued to listen to her 'private' conversation.

"Alright I'll come home right away. Alright I'll pick up some suchi...extra sause...rice...fortune cookies..." Making up his mind immediatly, Akira marched up to Hinata and snatched the phone away from her. Hinata stummbled back in shock at the gesture as Akira put the reciver up to his mouth.

"Stop--Bothering--My--BLANCHE!!" he yelled as he slammed the phone down on it's original place and walked off without another word.

Hinata just stood were she was, mouth agaped with her hand over her heart.

She couldn't belive her ears...

She had gotten the part!