A/N: Yep, I'm back. And many of you may have noticed, I pulled out one of my fic and I am sorry about that. I just couldn't grab my muse back again to write it. And my opinions on some of the characters have changed after reading DC again. I hate how Ran has regressed and love how Haibara has evolved. And some of the BO situations in the manga didn't sit right for me or to be exact, how Conan reacted and how the Mouris were blindsided. And this story was born.
I'll add in more characters soon. It's not gonna be a long one though.
THIS IS AN EDITED VERSION BECAUSE SOME WORDS WERE MISSING. On the other side, I have written the next chapter and it explores Ran's past and we see Shinchi, Sonoko and Ran's friendship. Just a glimpse though. You'll see it in a few days.
Edogawa Conan was based on lies. He was the epitome of Kudo Shinichi's hypocrisy. For a man who believed in one truth, his whole existence had turned into a big lie. And there were many who were aware of this lie. His parents, Professor Agasa, a BO member turned into partner, Haibara Ai, his fellow teen aged detective, Hattori Heiji, Masumi Sera and even Hondo Eisuke.
Shinichi knew he was betraying his childhood friend, Ran. He knew that she was one of the people who deserved to know the truth. Anybody who had trusted him as Kudo Shinichi or Conan Edogawa deserved to know the truth. They deserved to know that they were being manipulated by a kid who really wasn't.
But seeing them alive and not living everyday clouded in fear and anxiety soothed his conscience a bit. That was his only salvation. Or excuse. That those who didn't know his truth were alive and getting on with their lives. Yes, Ran was the one who missed him the most but she could smile, laugh and enjoy a day out with her friends and family without any reservations. Reservations that Kudo Shinichi didn't want to impose on her. And if it was left upto him, he damn well wouldn't. Not until all of the Black Organization members were punished for their crimes.
He sometimes wondered why he hesitated on telling Ran the truth. Professor Agasa was the first person whom he had encountered after his shrinking and he was frazzled seeing himself turn into a seven year old and he desperately needed somebody to help him, even though he didn't want to admit that. And so, Professor Agasa was the first person whom he had told the truth.
Maybe it was the fact that Professor Agasa was somebody he respected and looked up to. Maybe that is why when he said to hide the truth from everybody, especially Ran, that he had agreed. After all, the old man had been with him all through his childhood and teenage years, why would he steer him wrong now? And so, when Ran came he blurted out the name that would forever haunt him. Edogawa Conan.
And when he suggested Kudo Shini-, no, Edogawa Conan, to live with Ran because her father was a detective, he wondered whether it was the right path to take. But what option did he have? Tell Ran the truth and dangle her in front of the possibility that she could be found by the Black Organization? Shinichi thrived on truth, logical reasoning and not letting his emotions interfere with the truth. But then, he was human, wasn't he? He had things he feared losing, he had people he feared losing. And Ran messed with his logical head like no one had.
But then, she had suspected him as well. She had cornered him, pleaded with him and outright demanded him to tell the truth. That Kudo Shinichi resided in Conan Edogawa. She gave him proof after proof. And he acted like she was the one losing her mind. After all, it was impossible for anybody to shrink. What was her logic behind that? Where was her undeniable proof that he was Kudo Shinichi? Then, Ran's belief and reasoning were thrown off. Because she didn't have the undeniable truth. The one that he couldn't escape out of. The guilt and shame ate at her mind and heart. After all, she had accused an innocent seven year old boy and scared him out of his mind. What was she thinking? He was just a bright, young boy. There was no way he could be Shinichi.
Then came Hattori Heiji. He had done the same thing as Ran had. Accused him. Given him proof after proof. He just had the added benefit of seeing the Voice Changing Bow-tie in action. Thinking back, Conan could have lied to get out of the mess. He could have used the tactics he had used on Ran to throw Hattori off. Maybe he would have succeeded. Maybe not. But then he threw the bombshell. That he was going to tell Ran. And that was unacceptable.
He wondered why that was unacceptable? Why could he confess the truth to a boy he had met a handful times but not his childhood friend?
The circle of people who knew kept on expanding. Some stumbled on it. Some suspected him. Sometimes he confirmed their suspicion. That he was Kudo Shinichi. Sometimes he led them to believe that he was just an extraordinarily brilliant young boy. But the desperation of hiding the truth never hit him as strong as when Ran was the one suspecting.
The people around him agreed with not telling the truth to the Mouris.
There was no need for them to be in added danger.
If, by mistake, the secret was leaked, then those who knew about his identity, would be killed.
And on and on, it went. Why were the people who knew his identity different than the Mouris? The Mouri family was proficient in martial arts. They could protect themselves to a certain degree. That was more than what could be said about other people. His parents were flighty. They were rarely home. And they loved to prank him to make him realize how adverse his situation was. They didn't have any formal self defense training. They just had connections. And connections took time to arrive in an immediate get the hell out of this place right now situation. They were hardly the kind of people who could protect themselves. Same with Professor Agasa and Haibara Ai. One was an old man and one was a seven year old girl though not actually seven year old girl. Highly intelligent and very technology savvy. Still, how could they manage to protect themselves from a man coming to kill them?
Hattori was different. He was intelligent. He had kendo for protection. He could be stealthy. But then, he was a bad liar. The amount of 'Kudos' and several variations that came out of his mouth to give an excuse for that 'Kudo' were numerous.
The FBI was his friend. They may not know his real identity but they suspected him. Sera Masumi seemed to be a hundred percent sure that Conan was actually Shinichi. And he didn't seem that afraid by that prospect.
Most of the people who knew his identity had at least one thing in common. Intelligence. They all were highly intellectual and efficient in what they did. So was that it? Was the criteria for becoming one of the 'Those Who Know My Identity' intelligence? Did he believe on the brain over brawn thing? Was he that shallow? Did he not trust Kogoro or Ran to keep quiet if they knew?
Kogoro may be a drunk, perverted old man but when it counted, he had proven himself to be a good detective. And the old man must have had something in him that led him to become a good police officer. Conan knew he was being unfair to the old man. He was leading him to believe that he was a great detective when he wasn't. He was capable of performing a perfectly good deduction but that was when he was highly motivated or when the clues were laid perfectly bare before him and in an arranged manner. Kogoro needed to be led by the nose. Ran didn't even need that.
Sometimes, she was a better detective than Kogoro. Conan had to spend much less time explaining things to Ran than he had with Kogoro. Shinichi recognized a natural hidden talent in Ran that even she didn't know. After all, he had called him 'Miss Detective.' She was capable of joining clues and coming up with the conclusion on her own. She was the only person who had come close to knowing his identity time and again. And she was really close to the truth on how he shrunk too.
There was no reason as to why he should be hiding the truth from them. Except for the fact that he lied to them and made them believe that he was an innocent seven year old. He knew that Kogoro's pride would take a hit if he knew who the real brain behind 'Sleeping Kogoro' was. He knew that Kogoro would be furious with him for the fact that Shinichi had lied and lied through his teeth. That he had made Ran cry. That had broken their trust.
There was a small speck of hope that he could have been forgiven if he had told them the truth and had asked them to play along with him. After all, they had been willing to lie on his behalf when he was suspected of being a murderer.
But now, there was none. He hadn't even told Kogoro or Ran about the fact that the Black Organization had come so close to actually killing Kogoro. Was the theory that if they didn't know they were safe actually true? Was he really saving their lives by not telling them that he was in fact, Kudo Shinichi? Wouldn't it have been better for them to know and be on guard for their safety? Ran could use her karate and Kogoro could use his judo for self protection. Combined with the fact that the FBI would also protect them, weren't they the safest of them all?
He wondered what was stopping him from taking the plunge.
But what Kudo Shinichi didn't know was how all of his musings were for nothing. Because, in a few hours, he would be relieved of the burden he was carrying. At least regarding the Mouris. And in the most painful way possible for Mouri Ran.
A/N: Man, all of this killed me. Ugh. But yeah, these are some of my thoughts on what could have or should have happened. Let me know how it was. I would try to update as fast as I can with my upcoming exam as my priority. So review, please?
