The Fire Within
by Scarlet Eve
A/N: I broke character and canon, but I got carried away. Enjoy.
A.C. 196
Late Summer
The abandoned hangar where Heero Yuy was currently storing Wing Zero wasn't air conditioned. Most of the hangars on the colonies were being converted into large storage areas and shuttle repair bays, but Heero had managed to find one that was still empty. He hadn't bothered to find the environment controls for the area, but he was starting to regret that decision.
Wiping the back of his hand across his brow, he sighed. Perched on Wing Zero, his feet dangling in the cockpit, Heero continued to make minute adjustments to the Gundam, though it was clear that the adjustments were unnecessary. There hadn't been a legitimate need for the Gundams in months. But, Heero just couldn't let go yet. Something nagged at him, telling him that now wasn't the right time to destroy his Gundam, despite Relena's ban on mobile suits.
Heero shook his head, clearing his thoughts of the young woman. Their paths had crossed not too long ago, and though several weeks had passed, Heero still hadn't stopped thinking about his impulsive actions. In fact, it was causing his normal sleep patterns to be disrupted. His mind insisted on replying the scenes over and over again.
Perhaps that's why Heero was so focused on his Gundam. It distracted him from incessant thoughts.
He exhaled a long breath and wiped another sheen of sweat from his forehead. He should head back to his apartment soon - before his body became completely dehydrated.
As he was shutting down Zero's OS on his laptop, the Gundam's interior monitors began to glow, and three quick beeps alerted Heero to a message. "What is it, Zero?" Heero asked, slipping into the cockpit, expecting an intrusion alert or signs of trouble. Instead, the monitor showed a newsfeed from the colony, the camera focused on an incoming shuttle.
"Vice Foreign Minister Relena Darlian arrived on L4 this morning, to continue the discussions of the trade agreements between the colonies and Earth. She is also expected to speak on the continuing disarmament of large scale weapons of war sometime this week. Many colonies have shown solidarity to Darlian's ideals by converting old mobile suit hangars for other uses-"
Heero turned off the monitor, his eyes narrow. "Thanks for that, Zero," he mumbled. So Relena was currently on the same colony cluster as himself. That wasn't any of his concern. Heero finished shutting down Wing Zero, collected his things, and hopped off the Gundam onto the metal floor, his impact sending a ringing sound wave through the cavernous hangar. Heero flipped his bag over his shoulder and headed towards the door.
How did she get saddled with forming trade agreements, Heero wondered to himself as he walked. He flinched when he realized his thoughts had once again strayed to the blonde politician. Annoyed with himself, Heero conjured up the lines of code that made up Zero's operating system and mentally scrolled through, to keep his mind thoroughly occupied.
I wonder where she's staying. The thought pushed through his mind just as he was unlocking the door to his apartment. He shook his head once more and kicked the door closed behind him.
Heero's nearly bare apartment contained just enough to survive. A bed, a desk and chair, a couple of barstools, and a few kitchen items. It was easier to stay on the move without being encumbered by a lot of stuff. Although, as Duo frequently pointed out, there was really no need for Heero to be on the move. Unfortunately, it was a habit that was hard to break.
For dinner, Heero sat on one of the barstools and ate leftover Japanese take out. His phone, which had been resting silently on the counter, began to buzz erratically, indicating text messages. The cell phone service in the hangar wasn't great, so it usually took a while for any communications to catch up once he left. Heero tapped the screen and saw that Duo had sent him multiple text messages, all with the same general statement: Did you see that Relena is on L4?!
Rolling his eyes, he turned off the screen of his phone and returned to his meal. Without anything else to distract him, his thoughts turned once again to Relena.
After the stunt Heero had pulled on that abandoned colony, Relena hadn't attempted to contact him, which was a surprise. After a few weeks had gone by, Heero convinced himself that Relena had different feelings from his own, even if he didn't fully understand what he felt. What he did know, however, was that the moment their lips touched, a fire had ignited in his chest. Even after he hurried away, leaving her to take a shuttle with the others, the fire had only dimmed, and refused to extinguish. It was always with him now, smoldering in his chest. And every time he caught a glimpse of her, usually on the internet or on the news, the fire would flare up again.
Several times, Heero had considered asking Duo for advice, but the rational part of his mind, which he thankfully still possessed, reminded him that asking Duo for anything was a terrible idea. Especially when it came to Relena. Somehow, those two had gotten close since the end of the war, and the idiot would feed little bits of information about her to Heero, which he did not ask for. In spite of this, he didn't want to admit it to himself that something in him longed for her.
Heero found that feeling very uncomfortable.
And confusing.
Heero had never longed for anything in his life, except perhaps solitude and silence.
"Screw it." Heero finished his meal quickly, tossed the remnants in the trash and left his apartment.
It was a short walk to the main city center of the colony. The colony government building was the tallest that was structurally available inside of a colony, and it was surrounded by hotels, restaurants, high end shopping centers, and a movie theater. Several technology companies had their HQs on the colony as well, and their gleaming buildings somehow outshined the government building. In the middle of the buildings was a square area of space, in the middle of which stood a large fountain. Benches and tables filled the area, most of which were occupied by young people, likely just having left work at their companies. The government provided free Wi-Fi in the area, which was always an attractive feature.
Heero walked through the square, his hand gripping his phone. During his walk, he had worked up the courage to send a text message to Relena. He'd written "I heard you are on L4." So far, he hadn't received a response, and every minute that passed by made him more agitated.
A couple of young women stood up from a bench, leaving it open. Heero hurried his pace and sat down, claiming it as his own. He would wait until he (hopefully) heard back from Relena. No matter where she was, the walk there would only be a few minutes.
Heero looked around the square, his eyes landing on a large group of young women, including the ones that had just vacated Heero's bench. There were several men in the group, too, and they seemed to be pushing forward, trying to see something. Heero rose and followed a group of people towards the crowd. Circling around, he peered through the gaps between heads and shoulders. The crowd shifted and a part broke away, speaking excitedly to each other. Heero was able to move forward, closer to the center.
There she was.
Relena Darlian stood in the center of the crowd, signing books and notebooks that were thrust at her. Her shoulder length hair hung down, framing her smiling face. She wore one of her trademark suits, this one in a deep purple color.
"Queen Relena! Can I have your autograph, too?" someone nearby shouted. Relena looked up and smiled, reaching a hand out for whatever they wanted signed. When she did, her eyes met Heero's. The fire in his chest rose up to his throat, and for a moment, he doubted that she saw him. At least until she touched her fingers to her lips, only for a moment, then looked back down at what she was signing. When she handed back the notebook, she looked up at the crowd and pressed a hand to her chest.
"Thank you all so much! I appreciate your support. My escort has just arrived to take me to my next meeting, so I must be going. I apologize if I did not get a chance to meet you!"
Her eyes met his once more, and the look she gave him was significant. He understood immediately. Straightening his shoulders, he pushed gently through the crowd until he was at her side. Relena waved once more, and allowed him to take her elbow and lead her away. She leaned close and whispered, "I'm at the Hamilton, just up the road here." Heero nodded and kept his hand on her elbow until they were a fair distance from the crowd, which had begun to disperse. As they passed into shadows cast by the tall buildings, Relena exhaled, almost like she was deflating. Heero released his grip on her. They continued walking towards her hotel.
"You always manage to come to my rescue, just at the right time," she said with a smirk. She drew her phone from a bag hanging over her shoulder. "I was about to reply to you when I was mobbed by that crowd. But we found each other anyway."
"Is that a regular occurrence?" Heero asked. To his surprise, she blushed.
"It is," she answered. "Seems I'm something of a role model to young women."
"That's not a surprise," Heero replied. The blush on her cheeks deepened.
"I suppose…" Silence fell for a moment, until they reached the front door of the hotel. "I'm starved. Care to join me?"
"I ate." Relena stared at him for a moment, an eyebrow lifted. "But... I can keep you company…" he finished. Her deadpan expression changed into a smile, and she led the way into the hotel.
Heero felt that in that moment, a blow from his Gundam's buster rifle would have been welcome, to ease him from his embarrassment.
Inside the hotel, Relena led the way to the elevator, which took them to the ninth floor. Stepping into the hallway, she threw a look at him over her shoulder. "I just want to change. There's a restaurant on the top floor that I enjoy." Heero nodded and followed her down the hall. He was hesitant to open his mouth again, lest he say something else stupid.
Relena stopped at a door, swiped her key card, and pushed the door open. Heero wasn't sure if he was supposed to follow, but she held the door open for him to enter. He crossed the threshold and Relena let the door close automatically behind her. "Just a moment." She hurried to an open suitcase and retrieved a few articles of clothing, then dashed into the bathroom. Heero took a moment to glance around the hotel room. It was oddly neat, though Heero wasn't sure what he was expecting. Her laptop and a large stack of folders sat on the desk. Her clothing was neatly folded, though still sitting inside her suitcase. An unbidden thought passed through his mind, picturing himself traveling with her, his own suitcase beside hers. Heero closed his eyes and willed the image away.
Relena emerged from the bathroom, dressed in a black, ruffled skirt and a white blouse. It was oddly reminiscent of her uniform at the school in the Sanq Kingdom. With a quick twist, Relena put her hair up into a ponytail, then met Heero's eyes.
"Let's go." Heero followed her back into the hallway, into the elevator, and up to the top floor of the hotel. When the doors opened, they stepped into the restaurant lobby. A hostess stood at a podium a few feet away. Upon seeing Relena, the woman smiled.
"Welcome, Miss Darlian." Relena nodded in greeting. "I can take you to your table." Heero raised an eyebrow. She has a specific table?
The hostess led the pair to a table that was set up against the glass wall, which looked out over the city center. Relena thanked the hostess and sat down in one of the chairs. Heero placed himself opposite her. She was blushing again.
"I only asked for a table beside the windows once. Now they always seat me here," Relena explained, toying with the cloth napkin in front of her. "I just don't argue." Heero chuckled, and Relena looked surprised at the sound.
"You can't hide from your heritage," Heero said. "I imagine you'll receive special treatment your whole life." Relena grimaced.
"I think you're right, unfortunately." Her cheeks pinked again. Heero tilted his head to the side, waiting for her to speak. "I'm told that the numbers of young women enrolling in law degrees, political science degrees, and economics degrees has skyrocketed since my short time as queen."
"You inspired many people," Heero replied. "And continue to do so." Relena opened her mouth to protest, but Heero shook his head. Instead, she asked,
"What have you been doing on this colony?" Heero shrugged his shoulders. "Hiding Wing Zero?" His gaze snapped to hers. She was smiling. "I'm not going to tell you to get rid of Zero. I know you'll do it when you're ready." Heero felt relieved. He had often wondered what she'd think if she knew he still had Zero.
"The time isn't right," he said.
"I know. I feel that way, too."
"You do?"
"It wasn't easy, struggling for peace until Christmas last year. And the few issues we've had this year have proven that unrest is still prevalent among some people. I don't think we've seen the last resistance to peace," Relena said. Heero's chest burned, and his admiration for her increased. Unlike some politicians, Relena wasn't going to stick her head in the sand, and ignore the possibilities of another struggle for peace. Heero committed himself, in that moment, to be there to help whenever that threat should rise.
"You have many people to call on for help, should that happen," Heero said, knowingly diminishing his own dedication. Relena's smile shined.
"Thank you, Heero."
The waiter came and went, bringing a variety of small plates of food to the table, which Relena explained were meant to share. Heero, finding himself unsatisfied by his leftovers, ate some of the food placed before him. It was different, but he enjoyed the various dishes. When it came time for dessert, Relena ordered a few items, along with coffee.
Heero hadn't kept track of time, but he estimated that they'd been in the restaurant for about two hours. And to his immense surprise, he was able to fall into fairly easy conversation with Relena - although they stuck to topics he had an interest in, such as the movement towards peace, the weapons de-armament, mobile suits in general - and Heero found Relena very receptive to his opinions and ideas about the work she was trying to complete. She even took notes on her phone at one point. The fire in his chest touched his ego, inflating it a bit.
He knew he had a reputation of not talking very much, and being one of those strong, silent types, but the truth was - most of the time, he had no interest in the conversations happening around him. Not to mention his extreme dislike for small talk. He wasn't going to have a lengthy discussion about topics in which he had no interest. Heero wondered if Relena had figured that out about him, or if she was just doing what came naturally to her.
Over coffee and small, delicious cakes, Relena began to drop little hints about a project she was working on that concerned Mars. As she spoke, she began to twirls strands of hair around her fingers, and Heero found himself mesmerized by the movement.
"Now that space technology engineers aren't focused on building a better and faster mobile suit, they've been able to implement newer engines to shuttles, drastically decreasing the amount of time it takes to reach Mars," Relena was saying. Heero forced himself to draw his gaze from her fingers and back to her eyes. "Are you alright?" she asked.
"I'm fine," Heero answered quickly. Relena arched an eyebrow and took a sip of her coffee. "Who would you send to Mars to work on this project?" he asked, trying to prove that he had been paying attention.
"As sad as it sounds, there are many former soldiers who haven't been able to move on from the war. I've spoken with some of them who are supported by a foundation I run, and they've expressed interest in helping with that project," Relena answered. Heero thought this made sense. Why would anyone with connections to the Earth or Colonies choose to travel millions of miles away to another planet? And it would keep them occupied and working towards a good cause.
"It's an interesting project," Heero said. "How will you possibly fund it?" Relena grinned, and it was mischievous.
"There are a lot of people from the former Romefeller Foundation that owe me favors. Plus, I have Dorothy out there demanding they make up for treating me the way they did," Relena said. "But, the ESUN and Colony Foundations are donating as well, since the whole point is to have another place to live. While the colonies are great now, it's unlikely that they're a viable long-term option."
"You have a point," he agreed. "You've put a lot of thought into this." At that statement, Relena's eyes cast down towards the table, and a sad expression formed on her face. Heero frowned. He wasn't sure what he said wrong. "Relena?"
"My father had begun to outline this project before he was killed. I found his files at my childhood home, hidden away in his office. At that time, he didn't think the project would ever get funding. But I took it and have been researching and forming a plan. If I can complete this, I will…" She paused, and Heero could see the formation of tears in her eyes. "I will feel as if I repaid him, for all he did for me, and for his death."
Heero's mouth opened slightly, ready to reject the idea that she had a hand in his death. He'd seen the news footage after it happened - and heard the story from Relena herself. Une had been the one to kill her father, a repentance Heero knew Une felt determined to repay. Swallowing hard, Heero reached across the table and laid a hand over one of Relena's. She looked up at him, eyes shining.
"I believe your father was already proud of you," he said, his heart hammering in his chest. It was taking a toll on him, to speak so openly to her. But he saw the effect it had on her, as the sadness slowly ebbed away. "But do this in his memory, to honor his legacy."
Relena ducked her head, but he saw a smile touch her lips. With her free hand, she wiped at her eyes, then looked back up at him. "Thank you, Heero."
Artificial night had fallen by the time Heero and Relena left the restaurant. But Relena wasn't ready to turn in, citing the time changes from Earth to the Colony cluster. Heero racked his brain, trying to figure out what he could do with the Foreign Minister that wouldn't get him into big trouble, when Relena made a suggestion.
"Can I see Wing Zero?"
They were in the elevator, traveling down to the lobby. Heero stared at her for a moment. She was smiling shyly.
"Sure," he answered. "We'll have to walk."
"That's perfectly fine," Relena said.
The elevator hit the lobby floor, and the doors slid open. The lobby was busy with returning guests, all dressed in fine clothes. Heero wondered just how expensive one night in this hotel cost, and assumed that the ESUN was footing Relena's bill. Several people turned to stare at Relena as they walked by, and without hesitation, Heero slipped an arm around her shoulders and guided her close to him. He heard a giggle escape from her, and together, they quickened their pace out the lobby doors and into the colony night. For just a moment, Heero felt the rush of what it must be like to be a normal teenager.
The street lights were lit up, along with faux-neon signs. The nightlife of the colony was just beginning, as Heero had observed during his erratic nighttime walks. Once outside, Heero loosened his arm around her shoulders, though he felt reluctant to really let her go. His arm dropped to his side, and perhaps she didn't notice, because Relena walked ahead, hands clasped behind her back, eyes lifted to the buildings and the colony's curve above. Heero smiled to himself, stuck his hands in his pockets and followed her.
"I know there are people who love the colonies, but nothing can really replace the sight of the stars," Relena said.
"I don't think Colonists appreciate the stars like Earthlings do," Heero replied. Relena looked at him over her shoulder, her ponytail swinging against her back.
"What about you?" she asked.
"I enjoy the view of space from Earth," Heero said, only half answering her question. She shook her head and turned to face front once more. "Turn left up here." At the intersection, Relena slowed to a stop and waited for him to join her. Emissionless cars drove around the colony, their speeds not exceeding forty miles per hour. Only the emergency vehicles could drive faster than that. When the light at the intersection changed, Relena led the way across the street to the other side.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure," Heero said. Relena slowed her walk until he was beside her.
"What do you think my brother thought he was dying for?" she asked. "I never understood."
"I think that your brother and Treize are the only ones who knew the extent of their plan," Heero said.
"Plan?"
"What better way to destroy the largest amount of mobile suits and dolls than a large scale battle in space?"
"So they planned that from the beginning," Relena breathed. "Then the White Fang…"
"Many in the White Fang believed they were fighting against Earth for the sake of the Colonies. And of course, they were willing to put a well-known face as their leader. But they didn't know that Zechs had other plans," Heero explained.
"I see."
"But… I don't think Zechs is dead," Heero said. Relena glanced at him.
"No?"
"He was a strong soldier and an excellent mobile suit pilot. I find it hard to believe that our battle, and whatever happened afterwards, would have killed him," Heero said. He'd been harboring these thoughts for a while, and he felt a measure of relief actually speaking them, and to her, of all people.
"But why would he go into hiding?" Relena asked, but before Heero could answer, she laughed. "I do not know him well, but I suppose he did have a flair for the dramatic." Heero grinned. "That makes all the tears that Noin has shed for him pointless." Heero grunted in response. He was not one to comment on the actions of women. And anyway, they were almost to the hangar.
"This way," Heero said, absently grabbing her hand and pulling her down an alley.
"Where are we going?" she called out to him as he increased his pace.
"The main entrance is too obvious," he said, turning a sharp corner. He heard her let out a laugh as she jogged to keep up with him. Another turn, and they emerged from the alleys of the buildings, near an abandoned looking area. Heero released Relena's hand and walked towards a pile of junk. He carefully shifted away a few items, revealing a door. He motioned to Relena to join him, and with a quick swipe of a keycard, he unlocked the door.
Heero pulled Relena into the darkness.
"It's hot in here," she commented.
"I know." Heero removed a small flashlight from his pocket and turned it on. There was an auxiliary electrical panel nearby. "Stay here." He left her in the darkness while he made his way to the panel. Using the flashlight to guide him, he found the panel, swung open the door, and flipped the breakers. Instantly, the hangar was flooded with light. He turned to see Relena shielding her eyes for a moment.
Wing Zero lay before them, prone, just as Heero had left it. Relena began to walk towards the Gundam, her eyes lighting up. Heero watched her, confused and amazed. She approached Zero's torso.
"I always forget how huge they are up close," she commented. Heero joined her.
"Come on," he said, holding out a hand to her. She stared at him a moment, then grasped his hand. The feeling of her hand in his ignited the fire once again. He climbed up the side of Zero's torso, pulling Relena along behind him, though she seemed to manage fine on her own. They reached the top, and Heero pulled Relena up beside him. "Watch your step." He led her towards the cockpit.
Zero began to glow, indicating that it knew they had arrived. Heero touched the button by the cockpit, and with a woosh of pneumatic mechanisms, the cockpit opened. Inside, the lights glowed brightly.
"Can I sit inside?" she asked tentatively. Heero nodded. He watched as Relena grabbed her skirt at her knee and bunched it to the side, then held a hand out for him. Heero grasped her hand and carefully helped lower her into the cockpit. He only released her once she was settled in the pilot chair. Heero dropped down to sit on the edge, his feet dangling. He watched as her hands skimmed over the controls, her curious eyes taking in all the details. Heero had never liked anyone touching his Gundam, but he found he was comfortable sharing his Gundam with Relena. At the very least, he assumed it was because he knew she didn't know how to pilot it. Heero definitely didn't trust any other pilots with his Gundam.
"This is amazing," Relena said, taking it all in. "In another life, I think I could have been a pilot." An unexpected laugh burst out from Heero, and Relena looked up at him, scowling slightly. "You don't think so?"
"Well, I suppose you are stubborn, strong-willed, and a natural born leader. You probably could have made a decent pilot," Heero said, still trying to control the smile that refused to leave his face. Relena gave him a mock pout, but followed it with a smile. She pushed herself up, somewhat awkwardly, and held up her hands. Heero stood, grasped her wrists, and easily hoisted her out of the cockpit. When he set her down, his hands lingered on her forearms. Relena's face lifted towards him, her normal bright blue eyes darkening. Fire licked at Heero's heart and throat, willing him forward, to taste her lips again. A craving burned inside of him, like an extreme thirst for water.
"Relena."
Heero leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. His chest erupted in flames, consuming his every thought, every hesitation. He felt Relena yield, her body relaxing, leaning closer to him. Her hands lifted to his chest, pressing against the fabric, the heat of her own hands adding to the flames he already felt. One of his hands snaked around to her back, laying a palm flat to keep her in place, while the other hand cupped her neck, tilting her chin higher. Relena's lips parted slightly, and Heero followed suit, deepening the kiss. His head began to feel light, like any moment he'd just drift off into space.
It was a completely different rush than piloting Wing Zero into battle. And - Heero slowly realized - he liked it a lot more.
And that was a strange and unfamiliar feeling.
Relena was the first to pull away. Her cheeks were bright pink and her eyes were shining. Her eyes drifted away, but her hands remained planted on his chest.
"Heero- I-" Her hands strayed to her breast, where she clutched them together, a familiar nervous habit. "I don't really understand what this means coming from you." Heero understood, and though he wished to voice his feelings, he found that the words would not come easily. He closed his eyes and lowered his head until his forehead pressed against hers.
"I just need more time," he said.
"Then what?"
"I don't know. That depends on you, I suppose," Heero answered.
"What do you mean?"
His eyes opened. "Whether this is something you want. Someone less broken might come along and sweep you off your feet," he uttered the words, and felt the stab of pain in his own chest. Relena jerked away suddenly. Her eyes flashed with anger. Rage appeared to be rising up within her, but after a moment, it dissipated. She deflated, her shoulders hunched.
When she looked up again, her eyes were full of determination and strength. "I don't believe that you are broken, but even if you feel that way about yourself, be assured that I am here to repair you." Heero tilted his head in a single nod.
"I understand." Relena stepped forward and threw her arms around his neck and pressed her face into his shoulder. Heero returned the hug, allowing his cheek to drop to the top of her head. He wondered when he had gotten so much taller than she. Their heights used to be similar. "I'll walk you back to your hotel," Heero said, lifting and pulling away slightly. Relena nodded, and surreptitiously wiped a tear from her cheek.
They left the hangar together, stepping back into the temperature regulated colony. As they walked, Relena slipped her hand around his bicep, holding lightly. Heero smiled to himself, leading her along the sidewalks back to the Hamilton Hotel.
End
-SE
