Fresh Start

Chapter 1

My hatred for shopping is immense. I swear. I hate it with a passion.

"Hello."

I hardly glanced away from spices I was staring at. "Hello."

The woman didn't walk away though, just stood there next to me, even leaving her cart behind as she came over. I looked at her now, but I didn't recognize her. Still, she was sort of creeping me out.

"You're Auden, right? Eli's…?"

"Girlfriend," I told her, glancing at her. "I'm sorry. I don't know-"

"Oh, we've never met, sweetheart," she said, smiling at me. She had such a round, jolly face that the smile on top of it made her look eerie. I just stared at her, waiting for an explanation.

"I know…the Stocks very well," she told me before glancing down at my stomach. I made a face, not yet comfortable with the fact that I was showing. "I haven't spoke with Karen in awhile, but the last time I did, she spoke highly of you."

I just looked at her, not knowing what to say. I was awkward in conversations with people I actually liked. I didn't even know this woman!

"Well…I have to get back to shopping," I said, turning my attention back to the spices before me. "Karen wanted me to get some stuff for some pie she's making or something. I just don't know-"

"What kind of pie is it?"

I looked to her again. "Uh, apple, maybe? I dunno. Cherry. Chocolate. It might have been cake…"

"Well, if it's a pie, Karen likes a lot of cinnamon and nutmeg. Not to mention allspice. And some brown sugar wouldn't hurt."

I smiled at her then, some tension subsiding. "Thank you. I didn't catch your name though."

"Lucille Jackson," she said, smiling at me again. She looked a little bit younger than Karen, but not by much. Her hair was styled better though, with highlights and such. Plus she was wearing makeup. That was probably it. "It was nice meeting you…Auden."

"You too," I said, turning to grab the spices she suggested. "And thanks again."

"No problem."

After she disappeared down another aisle, I let out a long sigh before resting my hand briefly on my stomach. I don't know why that woman made me feel so edgy, but she did. I mean, a lot of people know the Stocks, many of which I don't know. And on occasion, they do speak to me, if only because they know my affiliation with the Stocks. That's what I get for shopping in Colby, I suppose.

When I got to the Stock house sometime later, I just grabbed my few grocery bags filled with the things Karen had requested before walking up to the door. Not even thinking of knocking, I walked right in. I could see Karen and Joseph in the kitchen together and immediately headed in there.

"Joey, stop. I have to finish this."

He was standing behind her at the counter, an arm slung around her. He smiled when he saw me come in. Karen just seized the moment and escaped his grasp.

"Back so soon, Auden?"

"Yes," I said, going to set the bags down on some empty counter space. "I think I got everything."

"Hopes so," Joseph told me, still grinning. "'cause if you forgot anything, she'll make me go back to get it."

"You should have been the one to go in the first place," Karen told him, riffling through the bags.

"I was sleeping."

"Yes, I know."

"It's my birthday tomorrow, Karen," he pointed out. "So maybe you should stop being so mean to me."

"And who's the one having to make all of the desserts for this party?"

"The one who offered and also wanted a party. I didn't. I just wanted to go out to dinner with you, get rid of all the kids for the night, and then come back here. Alone."

"Well, Joseph, too bad."

He laughed at her then before winking over at me. If there was one thing that Joseph loved, it was getting under his wife's skin. Pressing a kiss against the back of her head, Joseph headed over to the kitchen table, knowing that Karen would not want his help cooking. She never did.

"I saw someone that said they knew you when I was at the store."

"Mmmm." Karen hardly looked at me, pulling the ingredients from the bags.

"I'd forgotten what spices you needed and she helped me figure it out."

"Who did you say it was again?" She glanced at me.

"Lucille Jackson."

Both she and Joseph were silent for a moment. Then, sighing, he said, "Auden-"

"That was Abe's mother, dear," Karen told me as she went back to what she had been messing with on the stove.

"O-Oh. I didn't-"

"I haven't spoken to her in… How long has it been, Joey?" She didn't look at him either.

"Maybe a year or more," he told her.

"What else did she say to you, Auden?" Karen asked me.

"Nothing really."

"It's best just to avoid her, I've found."

"Karen-"

"What, Joey? She was very rude to me that last time. And then that birthday party she has for…Abe every year." She shivered. "I told Eli not to go this year. How can you ever move on if you-"

"Karen, you know as well as I do that if things had been reversed that night-"

"They weren't, Joseph. She can't raise the dead."

"We've never lost a child though, so perhaps we shouldn't judge."

"I'm not judging," she told him.

"I know."

"You just-"

The front door opening and closing stopped the argument. We were quickly joined in the kitchen Vinny and his father.

"Granny, I- Auden! You're here." He rushed to hug me. "It's Friday."

"I know."

"We're learning our days in school. I already knew 'em all so I gotta sticker." He held out his hand to me, showing it off. "Are you here for Grandpa's birthday party tomorrow?"

Not really. I had the weekend off and planned on spending sometime with Eli. "Yeah, sure."

"My party was better," Vinny said then, glancing at his grandfather. "'member?"

"Do we remember, Karen, when we had all of Vinny's class over for a party?"

"And Ralph, dear, if I remember correctly."

"He tried to eat our cat," Joseph agreed which caused his grandson to giggle. Steven just shook his head, going over to the fridge to pull out a soda.

"Where's Jake?" Steven asked as he went to kiss his mother's cheek.

"At work. Eli too."

"Mmmm." With that, he left the room. Vinny quickly rushed over to his grandfather, taking a seat at the table as well.

"You see my sticker, Grandpa?" He held it out to him.

"I see."

"You want to hear me say the weekdays. I know 'em all, even without the song."

"N-"

"Let's hear them, boy," Joseph said, cutting off his wife. "And then you can try telling them to me backwards, huh?"

Sighing, Karen looked to me. I had come over right after I got into Colby, as Eli had been over there. He quickly left for work though, promising me that he'd be off at seven so we could go out to dinner. Then tomorrow, we got to spend the whole day with his family for his father's birthday. I swear, if I ever completely make up with my own family, I am going to make him spend this much time with them. Unlikely, but still a damn good threat.

"There's nothing else I need, Auden. Unless you wanted to help bake? If not, you can go if you want. Or-"

"Auden, you can stay and play with me!" Vinny was apparently done with the whole weekdays thing. "We can play with my toys. Come on."

"Vinny," Karen scolded gently. "You should ask if someone wants to play with you. Not demand they do."

Frowning at her, he jumped up and ran over to me. "Auden, do you wanna play superheroes with me? I'll let you be…mmm…maybe Batman. Not my favorite Batman though. Or maybe my Spiderman without the arm. Jordan broke it once. Yeah, you use do that one. I'll be everyone else. Okay?"

I just smiled at him. "Okay."

"See, Granny? Auden's not mean as you."

"Vinny-"

"Don't call your grandmother mean, boy," Joseph told him as his wife glared at their grandson. "Unless you really want to get her that way."

"Joseph, knock it off."

He smiled, his plan successful as Vinny made his escape, pulling me along with him. I followed him, knowing the only thing that would await me alone at Eli's apartment was sleep. I also knew though that Vinny and my play would more than likely end with him in a cranky mood. After all, most everything he did ended that way.

When we got to Eli's old bedroom, Vinny shut the door before rushing over to his toy box and starting to pull action figures out. I just took a seat on the bed, looking around. Most of the posters that Eli had up when he was a kid were still there, along with stacks of old videogames. Slowly though, Vinny had taken over along with all of his stuffed animals and other belongings.

"Look, Auden," he said, pointing at one of the stuffed animals sitting up on the bed with me. "That's the doggie you got me for my birthday."

"I know. Sparky, right?"

"Yep. That's what I named 'im. I sleep with 'im up on my bed. He ain't my favorite or nothin' though."

"I'm sure."

He bounced around, setting certain action figures in specific places. I'd played with him before. Vinny liked to reenact things more than just play. We'd get to playing eventually though. And even then, he really just dictated what I was able to say or do. I think this stemmed from the fact his older brother Jordan was in control of their play; with me though, Vinny was the one behind the wheel.

"Come on, Auden," he said once he had prepared everything. "Get down here so we can play." Then, remembering what his grandmother had said probably, he added on, "Please?"

Smiling, I got down on the ground with him. "Of course."

That was where Eli found me sometime later, down on the ground playing with his nephew. He just stood in the doorway to the room for a moment, smiling, before coming closer.

"What are you guys-"

"Shhh, Eli! Auden don't wanna play with you. She wants to play with me. Go away. Go-"

"Knock it off," he said, as he went over to me, careful not to step on any of the toys. "How you feeling, baby?"

"Alright," I said as he reached down to help me up. I just shook my head. "I'm going to finish playing with him."

"Thought you wanted to go to dinner?"

"I do. It's not like you have to make reservations at Last Chance, Eli."

"Touché," he said, nodding. "But maybe we're not going to Last Chance."

"You know we don't have money for anywhere else."

"No where special, Aud. And no reservations. Just not Last Chance."

"Can I go in this?"

"Ha. Trick question. Not falling for it." He stepped around me now, going to lay down on his old bed. Vinny glared at him, but I quickly distracted him with his toys and all was well again.

When it was time for Eli and I to go, Vinny threw a fit as expected. He wanted me to stay and play with him. I tried to calm him down, but his father heard him crying from the other room and took over. I wanted to stay and make sure that he was okay, but Eli insisted that we leave, so I went with him.

"You up for Italian?" Eli asked. "I was going to take you to a place three towns over. Brooke and her boyfriend suggested it. I didn't know though if the baby would-"

"I think that sounds fine," I said as he got into the truck with me. "Great, actually."

"Cool." He smiled at me, probably just happy that we weren't fighting for once. Because it was March now and since we found out I was pregnant, we'd had some huge ones. "I figured you just get bored of the places down here that we always eat at."

"Too much seafood."

"We live on the coast."

"I know."

He looked up at his visor. Clayton's ultrasound was still up there, but it was covered over by our new baby's one. That had been a fight too. I wanted to throw it away, but Eli refused. We compromised by covering it up with the other one. That way he knows it's still there and I don't have to have a constant reminder every time I get in the truck.

"I saw someone today when I went to the store for your mom."

"She sent you to the store?"

"Not the point."

"Sorry. Continue."

"I was trying to figure out what spices your mother wanted me to get when this woman came up to me. She was real nice."

"Uh-huh." He was pulling out of the driveway now, no longer concerned. I'm sure he thought I was about to tell him about some Colby local that he couldn't care less about.

"She just asked about your parents and stuff. And my pregnancy."

"Uh-huh."

"I didn't know her, but your mother told me she was, um, Abe's mother."

He glanced at me before shifting in his seat. "Oh."

"Yeah."

"Did she…say anything to you?"

"Not really."

"I haven't seen her in awhile," Eli told him softly.

"She seemed nice."

"She is."

"Your mother said-"

"She and Mom never got along. Not even when we were…when Abe and I were kids." He was staring out at the road now to avoid looking at me. "So I doubt she had many nice things to say."

"Your dad kind of got annoyed when she started-"

"Let's just not talk about that, okay?" He reached over and turned up the radio before laying his hand on my thigh. "I just want to listen to the radio for awhile, huh?"

"'kay."

We rode silently for a few minutes. Eli kept one hand on my thigh, but didn't pay attention to me otherwise. I just leaned against the window and shut my eyes. Three towns over meant at least an hour drive, if not more. Besides, I had just finished playing with Vinny for hours. If that didn't qualify me as deserving a nap, I would like to know what would.

"You sleeping over there?"

"Mmmm."

"Sorry in advance."

"'bout?"

"Tomorrow. Dad's party. We won't stay long."

"It's fine."

"Still."

"Your dad doesn't even want a party," I told him. "He sad he just wanted to go out to dinner and then be alone with your mother."

"Ew."

"Eli."

"Dad won't admit it, but he likes having everyone over for parties and stuff."

"Still, he probably would like to be alone in his own house sometimes."

"True enough."

"Do you think we'll be like that?" I asked finally, thoughtful.

"Like what?"

"Still in love even when we're their age?"

"I dunno," Eli sighed. "Are we in love right now? 'cause we're not like that now."

"Karen told me that she and Joseph grew to be that way."

"Maybe. Or maybe we're just completely different from them and show love differently."

"Are you in love with me, Eli?"

"More than I've ever been with anyone else."

"We can only live in the now," I reminded him. "Whatever that entails."


"Can you feel it? The baby?"

"Can I feel it what?"

"I dunno." Thisbe climbed onto the couch next to me. "Crawling around?"

"The baby doesn't crawl inside me, silly." I patted her head gently. "Why?"

"I's just wonderin'." She patted my stomach gently before looking up into my eyes. "Tomorrow is Mr. Joseph's birthday. Mommy and I bought him a watch."

"A new watch?"

"Uh-huh. Vinny bought him a new car."

"A car?"

"A toy one. With his money from working at the taco place." She giggled then. "He said that Mr. Joseph won't like it much and just give it to him. Vinny's smart."

"I know," I sighed as Eli came into the room wearing only his jeans. "Eli, when are you picking him up anyways? Vinny? Or is it just going to be us tonight?"

"Jake said he'll come over with him later," he told me as he went to turn on his game system. It was the one that that Karen had given Jake for Christmas. In return for allowing it in the house, Eli was now letting Jake sleep on the couch most nights. Only after I agreed of course. Since his Christmas Eve revelation, Jake had been much kinder to me. So much so that we hardly ever spoke. I couldn't tell if it was from remorse, fear, or just respect for the fact I was pregnant. No matter what it was though, I was glad about it.

"I like spending the night with Eli," Thisbe told me as she snuggled into my side. "I love Eli."

"I know you do."

"So do you, huh?"

"Very much."

"I love hotdogs a lot."

"More than hamburgers?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

"I like hamburgers more," I told her.

"Then you're stupid."

"Thisbe."

She just jumped down before going to sit next to Eli. "Can we eat candy tonight?"

"What kinda candy?" he asked, not looking away from his videogame.

"Chocolate candy."

"Ain't got none."

"Oh."

"Sometimes, Eli, Vinny's grammar doesn't shock me," I told him as I pushed off the couch. "Are you thirsty, Thisbe?"

"For chocolate bars."

"You're silly," I told her, going to get a glass of water. "How was school today?"

"Good," she told me. "Vinny got a sticker."

"I've seen it."

"Oh."

"It was nice."

"Yeah."

"The in-depth conversations," Eli muttered. "They slay me. Really."

"Shut up." I pushed his head gently as I came back into the room. "What did we get your dad anyways? For his birthday?"

"Was I supposed to get a present?"

"I told you to."

"Oh. Huh."

"Eli-"

"I'm kidding. God. I got him some alcohol."

"You mean you got yourself some alcohol."

"No, that's not what I mean. I've been sober for three days now, Auden. Only been drinking beer for two weeks before that. I told you. Changed man."

"Sure," I said, rolling my eyes.

"You have to start somewhere."

"I know."

"Eli, play with me!" Thisbe nuzzled into his side. "Please?"

"No. Go away."

"I wish Vinny was here."

"Yeah," Eli sighed. "Me too."

I left out adding in a 'Me three' only because I knew that soon, Vinny would show up. And as always, it would end badly. Everything with Vinny ended badly. Everything.

"My stomach hurts," I announced then. "I'm going to go lay down. Okay, El?"

"Sure," he mumbled, staring at his game.

"You can watch the kids alone? When Vinny gets here?"

"Yeah."

"Okay." I smiled at my sister then. "Do you want to go lay down with me?"

"Ew, gross. Sleep is for babies."

Alright then. Shaking my head, I headed to Eli's bedroom. I wasn't in bed long before I fell asleep. I hadn't felt well since we got back into Colby and really just wanted to sleep it off. I was sure Vinny and Thisbe would go to bed not soon after the little boy arrived and then Eli could just play his game the whole night and leave me alone. It was a win-win for everyone.

Or so I thought.

I felt it hit the side of my face. Then I felt another. Turns out I opened my eyes at just the right moment to see another one coming at me, swiftly moving out of the way.

"Vinny!"

He just shot another toy dart at my face. "Daddy got me a Nerf gun."

"You almost hit me in the eye," I hissed at him in the dark. He was standing at my bedside, his gun pointed right at me. "What are you doing in here?"

"Uncle Eli and Jake bought pizza. And candy. And ice cream. Are you hungry?"

I looked passed his head, shocked to find that it was now well passed midnight. Where had the time gone? I'd been asleep for hours now.

"Don't you and Thisbe need to go to bed soon?"

He frowned at me, the moonlight highlighting his features as it shone through the window. "We're not babies. Eli and Jake said we could stay up all night. We ain't gots anything to do tomorrow 'cept for Grandpa's birthday party."

"Ice cream though? And pizza?" Eli was drunk. There was no way he'd decided this sober. And more than likely, Jake was drunk too. That meant I had to be up, considering we had two small children with us. Sober for three days my ass.

"What's going on in here?" I asked as I marched Vinny back to the living room, shocked to find that it wasn't just Jake and Eli, but rather Wallace, Clyde, and two other young guys from the shop that I didn't know well. Oh, and Brooke. Yeah. "Eli-"

"Vinny," he complained when he turned to look at us. "I told you not to wake her up."

"That's 'cause you're a bad person," the little boy told him as he went over to the box of pizza and pulled out another slice. The guys were all on the ground, staring at the television as Jake played some intense looking war game, a controller also in Wallace's hand. Brooke was just seat on the couch, braiding Thisbe's hair. My sister waved at me, but I just shook my head.

"Eli-"

"Auden-"

"Three days?"

He groaned, getting up to come over to me. He didn't' stumble or anything like that, but it was obvious that he was drunk. I just knew. David, a guy hardly older than Jake, was most drunk. He was passed out on the floor, a beer bottle in his hand. He was still conscious enough to make a noise though, knowing Eli was in trouble. Brooke was looking at us, but I ignored her as Eli made it over to me, laying a hand on my arm.

"Come here."

"I'm going to kill you."

"I know," he told me, pulling me further down the hall to our bedroom. "Jake showed up with Wallace and-"

"The kids are here, Eli."

"I know. We're just drinking. And Clyde's not, if it makes you feel better."

"It doesn't."

He closed our bedroom door behind me. "It just happened. You were sleeping. I didn't think Vinny would wake you up. Besides, Auden, it's not like we're smoking or something. Just beer. Only beer. The kids are fine."

"You said-"

"What do you want me to do? Make them all go home?"

I just stared at him.

"Oh, God, you do, don't you?"

"Yes, Eli, I do."

"Well, I'm not going to," he said, glaring at me now. "Go back to bed. We were fine without you."

"Forget it, Eli." I went to slip on my shoes before heading out of the room. When I made it to the living room, I went and grabbed Vinny's hand before telling Thisbe to come on. "Come put on your shoes, Thisbe. And take your Nerf gun, Vinny. We're leaving."

"Auden, don't be like that," Jake said, glancing at me now. "Have a be…oh yeah. Never mind."

"Seriously, you're overreacting," Brooke told me as she moved to fish a ciggeratte out of her pocket. "You-"

"No smoking in the apartment," I told her simply as Thisbe and Vinny rushed the door, clearly thinking I was taking them on some kind of adventure. "And the day my life becomes your business is the day I'll commit suicide."

"I'll keep my fingers crossed."

It wasn't until we were in my car that the two kids asked me where we were going. I told them that it was a surprise, mainly because I wasn't sure. I knew Heidi would be up, as it wasn't that late yet, but I didn't really feel like going to her house. I was hoping the Stocks would be up. It wasn't until I was driving passed their house that I found out they were. Or at least one of them was.

"Hey. What's going on?"

I sighed as I got out of the car, Steven just having pulled up in his truck. "Your brothers decided to bring their drunk friends over and play videogames. Take Vinny back."

He got out of his own truck as his son rushed out of the car. "What were they doing, Auden?"

"Just drinking. Being stupid. And the kids had nowhere to sleep."

Thisbe waved at Steven through the car window, but I wouldn't let her get out, knowing that she'd want to stay at the Stocks if she did.

"Auden wouldn't let us party, Daddy," Vinny told him. "I sniped her with my Nerf gun though."

Steven just lifted his son up with one arm before waving at Thisbe. Then, glancing at me, he said, "Knew sober stuff wouldn't last."

"Yeah," I sighed as I got back into the car. "So did I."

Knowing that Karen and Joseph were probably in bed, I went ahead and took Thisbe home, back to her mother's. She was up like I figured, but with a guest. I had sent her a text though and she was waiting for us when I knocked on the door.

"Hi, Mommy." Thisbe bounced slightly as she came into the house. "Hi, Heath."

The man was sitting on the couch, giving the girl a slight wave. I looked at Heidi, but she just shook her head at me, not wanting me to say anything.

"Come in, Auden. Are you staying too?" she asked as Thisbe rushed over to the couch, climbing up on it to sit next to the man. Heath smiled at her, but she just giggled.

"No. I just needed to drop them off. Eli…"

"Yeah, I know." She smiled at me. "Go to bed. Or stay here and go to bed."

"I'm fine, really. I'll see you tomorrow, I guess, at Joseph's party."

"Ugh," she groaned. "I forgot about that. Until then."

When I left Heidi's, I really had nowhere to go. The only people in Colby I knew were the Stocks and her. So I had no choice, but to go back home. No, not home. Eli's apartment. At the moment, they were not synonymous.

"Auden's back," Jake announced enthusiastically when I arrived. When he saw the look on my face, he elbowed Wallace. "Why did you do that?"

"Don't hit me."

Ignoring all of them, I quickly moved through the living room and back to the bedroom. Eli didn't even look at me. He was the one playing the game now and clearly didn't care about me. At the moment, I mean. Sort of.

When I got into the bedroom, I immediately got into bed, cuddling under the blankets. Some of Vinny's darts were in bed with me, but I just ignored them as I shut my eyes tightly, wishing I could just fall asleep and never wake up.

"Aud?"

I had accomplished my goal for the most part at that point. And by that I meant I had fallen asleep. The never wake up didn't go as planned though.

"Mmmm?"

"I brought you some pizza," he mumbled as he climbed into bed with me. "And a candy bar. Snickers. You like those, huh?"

"Fuck off."

"Aud," he groaned as he settled on the bed. "Everyone went home."

"Yeah, hours after I told you to send them home. What is it? Four in the morning?"

"Little later."

I shook my head as I opened my eyes. "I'm so mad at you right now."

"But I love you." He held out the plate with the pizza on it. "Here. Let me feed you."

"Eli-"

"What do you want me to do? Huh?"

"I wanted-"

"Not what you wanted. What you want now."

"I want you to leave me alone."

"Fine. I'll eat alone."

I turned on my other side then, facing away from him. Eli just laid there in bed, eating the pizza and the candy bar before passing out, snoring loudly. I just sighed, lying next to him, finding sleep hard then.

"Love you, Eli," I whispered into the darkness, stroking my stomach softly. I knew he was asleep and didn't hear me, but it helped me drift off, if only a little.


"I feel fat."

Eli just downed his glass of water with his aspirin. "Knock it off."

"You shut up. If you're not agreeing with exactly what I'm saying today, don't speak to me."

"You just spoke to me."

"Shut up, Eli. I mean it."

"Whatever."

We were standing in the kitchen, me trying to find something to eat for breakfast, him still waking up. Coffee didn't seem to be helping him much this morning.

"That's your mother," I said when his phone vibrated in his pocket. "She called you while you were in the shower. I answered, but she specifically wanted to talk you."

He just grunted, pulling the cell out before heading out of the kitchen and back to the bedroom. Rolling my eyes, I went back to trying to decide on my breakfast. I settled on just eating some toast, as part of the problem of figuring out what I was going to eat relied on what the baby wouldn't throw up. The first time I was pregnant, I hardly ever got sick. This time around, it felt like everything set this baby off. I was taking every difference from last time as a good sign.

"Mom wants us over there in an hour or so," Eli told me as he came back into the kitchen. "So did you decide what we're eating or-"

"I'm just eating toast," I told him, staring at the toaster while waiting.

"Babe, you've got to-"

"Stop calling me that."

"You need to eat something, Auden."

"Toast."

"You hardly ate at dinner, then you wouldn't eat that pizza-"

"I'll eat today, Eli, over at your parents. Cake and stuff." When my toast popped up, I said, "We can go now. To your parents. What are we doing over there so early anyways?"

"I gotta help Dad with some stuff. Vinny and Thisbe are both already over there though and want you."

"Of course they do."

"You feeling okay this morning?"

"Considering I'm still extremely angry with you?"

"Anger's not good for the baby."

"You're not good for the baby."

Cutting his eyes at me, he said, "You wanna go now? Fine. Let's go. Hurry up."

It was a silent ride over to his parents' house. Whatever chemistry we had going before dinner the night before was beyond dead. And something told me it wouldn't be resurrected anytime soon.

"Hi, Auden."

I smiled at the kids as Eli and I came into the house. Isby and Vinny had some of his Hot Wheels out, playing with them all over the living room floor. Usually they would play with them in the kitchen, but I could see Karen cooking something in there and knew she no doubt had told them to stay out.

"Hi," I greeted, going over to Vinny. "You left these over at Eli's last night."

"Thanks." He took the darts from me, smiling. "All of Grandpa and Grandma's friends are coming over. We have to behave or stay inside all day. I think I'mma go ahead and stay inside."

"No," I said slowly, smiling at him as his hair fell into his eyes. "You're going to go out there and behave. And when you feel like acting bad, you're going to come tell me, and I'm going to make sure you don't."

"How are ya gonna do that?" he asked, frowning at me slightly.

"Well, what would you hate for me to do in front of everyone at the party?"

"Mmmm…I dunno."

"Kiss him," Thisbe said, glaring at me. "Give him cooties. Then no one will play with him."

"Shut up, Thisbe!" He moved to throw a dart at her, but I grabbed his hand, stopping him.

"Do you want me to kiss you?"

"No!" He jerked away from me, frowning.

"Then you better behave."

Grumbling, he turned back to his toys. "Fine."

Eli, who had gone off to find his father, came out of the hallway with the man. Joseph greeted me, but Eli just continued into the kitchen to tell his mother hello.

"Happy birthday," Thisbe told him.

"You already told me that, silly," Joseph told her, smiling.

"I know," she said. "I'mma tell you every time I see you. Duh."

"Duh," he repeated back to her, giving both her and Vinny a pat on the head before going into the kitchen as well.

"Are you gonna play with us, Auden?" Thisbe asked as I sat down.

"If you want."

"We're playing cars," Vinny told me though he still wouldn't look at me. "My cars are the fastest ever."

"Ever?"

"Ever."

"Mmmm."

Thisbe rolled her eyes, but didn't get a chance to correct him as Karen stuck her head into the living room.

"Auden? Can I see you for a moment?"

"No, Granny. She's playing with us," Vinny challenged. "Huh, Auden?"

"Vinny," she hissed at him, frowning. "You knock if off before I send you away right now. Huh? You want to go to work?"

"Yes," he said, nodding. "I don't want to be here for the party. I-"

"Behave." I gave him a very pointed look. "Unless you want me to-"

"Fine!" He went back to his cars, shaking his head. "Fine."

After patting him on the head, I got up to find out what it was Karen wanted. She was back over at the counter when I came into the room, frosting a cake.

"I wanted to apologize for Jake last night," Karen told me, focused on the cake. "I was told that it was him who decided to-"

"It really wasn't that big of a deal," I told her. "I just wanted to take the kids home. I didn't think they should-"

"Jake needs to come back home. Staying Eli will not work out and it's more obvious now than ever. I was told that Eli hadn't been drinking recently-"

"Three days," I said dryly. "He had only gone three days."

"Four days, had Jake not shown up."

I shrugged. "I don't have much faith in him anyways."

"And that, my dear, will be the excuse he uses every time he fails." She smiled at me then. "Don't let on, even if it's true. Do you really think I believed in everything Joseph did? Because I didn't. But I told him I did. Because that gave him a boost."

"Where are they anyways? I thought they were in the kitchen."

She shook her head before nodding at the backdoor. "Out there. Setting up, I would assume. Putting up tables and chairs."

"You guys sure like parties."

Karen shrugged. "It gives you something to do, in a small town. A chance to see everyone."

"Great."

"Oh, Auden, you'll have t get used to it eventually."

"Get used to what?"

"To the fact that when you're here, in Colby, everyone's going to know you. Even when you don't know them." She smiled then. "I supposed that's how Joey and I were so lucky. We'd both grown up here. We weren't expecting any different."

I looked at the cake for a moment before back up at her. "Did your parents sill live here when you two came back?"

"Oh, yes. Of course. Joseph's mother and stepfather didn't leave until they retired. And mine stayed longer. Until they couldn't...care for themselves anymore. Then they went to live with my older brother until Mom died. Then Dad went to the home." She shook her head. "It would have been easier had they come to stay with Joey and I, of course, but it just wasn't…convenient. Joseph and my father didn't…and we still had the kids then. Jake and Eli."

I didn't know what to say then, so I just stood there, waiting for her to speak again.

"It was hard though, having them both in town with us. My mother especially." She shook her head slightly. "Mom would come over constantly. And if Joseph's mother was over at the same time, there was sure to be a fight. I don't know who she hates more, Joey's mother, my mom or me."

"I've never really been around her. Just that party last summer and that wedding that once. I think."

Karen nodded. "Consider yourself lucky. Koda's first wife was a horrible woman. Cheated on him, killed his bank account, never was very nice to any of us. Still, she was on a pedestal compared to me."

"I don't get it."

"I'm sure I've told you before that Joey's brothers and mine never got along."

"Yeah, but wouldn't you get over that eventually?"

"Some would. Others wouldn't. You've never met Joey's half-brothers. I don't mind Koda, but them? Them I don't like. Or his step brother. And all of his sisters are just-" She shivered. "He doesn't care much for my two brothers either, so I suppose we're even."

"Does he have that many siblings?"

"His father and mother only have him and his brother Koda together, but then his real father went on to have a few other children. Two daughters. His mother and stepfather have three boys together, two girls. Then his stepfather had a son from his first marriage as well as a daughter from his second. Joey's mother was his last marriage."

"And they're all…close in age?"

"No." Karen shook her head. "And I've never been a big fan of having kids with multiple…partners anyways."

I was pretty sure Karen wasn't even comfortable with the idea of having multiple partners. Still, I didn't voice this, not wanting to make her angry with me. Or finding out that information. Ever. Because the idea of Joseph and Karen together to begin with was…so yeah, wasn't volleying up my interest in that.

"Don't tell Joey we spoke about this," she told me then as she finished icing the cake. "He's still torn up about his father. His mother called him this morning to wish him a happy birthday."

"That's weird to me," I said. "We're not birthday people."

"No offence, dear, but your mother doesn't even call you on national holidays."

I blinked, but knew she had a point. "We just aren't as…close as you guys, I guess."

"No, Joey's family is weird," she told me. "Loving, I guess. You'd think with him having so many siblings it would be a constant battle between different people. And maybe its that way for some of them, but Joseph loves all of his brothers and sisters. His father's children, his mother's, his stepfather's. He's just loveable." She giggled, a capability that always shocked me. Karen giggling disturbed me every time it happened. It only ever happened when she was talking about her husband though. "That's one thing that got to his mother. She told me so. That he was so kind and I was so…cold. Especially to him."

I looked at he. "You were mean to him?"

"Distant at times. Especially in the beginning." She shrugged. "You know Joseph. He needs to please. The more displeased I seemed, the more he wanted to please me. The more elaborate the plans he created to please me. And then when he finally did begin to please me, he realized that I would eventually get complacent and began to try even harder to keep me pleased."

"He loves you," I told her.

"Mmmm," she agreed. "We love each other."


"I'm feeling like being bad."

I just stared at Vinny as he stood in front of me. 'You want a kiss?"

"No."

"Then can you hold off on being bad without it?"

"I think so."

"Good. Because I'm starting to get afraid that you just might give me cooties."

"No," Vinny insisted, shaking his head.

"I think so."

"No, I wouldn't."

"Hmmm."

I was sitting down on the font porch steps, watching the children play in the front yard. They had been sent out there to play while the adults conversed in the backyard. Most of the kids in the neighborhood were over, riding bikes and skateboards or playing with the basketball goal across the street. I knew I should really be back in the backyard with the adults, but I found I liked children more. Sue me.

"Thisbe don't wanna play with me right now," Vinny told me as he sat down next to me. "She's playin' with her other friends. But I don't care. 'cause I don't need nobody."

"What about me?"

"I don't need you, Auden. I want you."

I smiled, reaching over to ruffle his hair. "You want me?"

He nodded before straightening his hair. "To be my friend."

"We'll always be friends, Vinny."

"Promise?"

"To the moon and back."

"To the moon and back," he repeated slowly before giggling. "You say funny stuff, Auden."

"Do I?"

"Mmmhmm."

I paused for a moment before asking, "Vinny, why don't you go play with some of your friends?"

"I don't like none of 'em. They're stupid."

"Why don't you go play basketball with those boys? Or tag? Something?"

"I don't like them. I wanna sit with you. …Or play with Thisbe. But she's playing with the girls. When she's with other girls, she pretends like we're not friends."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"That's not nice."

"I know."

"Don't you have any other friends?"

"'course I do!" He nodded. "I'm pop'lar."

"I'm sure."

"But ain't none of my friends here. Only Thisbe. And she ain't no fun right now. All her friends call her Caroline and she gets made when I call her Thisbe. It's her name!"

"Vincent is your name, but I call you Vinny."

"That's different."

"Why?"

"'cause it's me."

Of course.

"How come you ain't playin' in the backyard with your friends?"

"Those aren't my friends."

"They're Granny and Grandpa's friends."

"Exactly."

"You're old. Don't old people gots all the same friends?"

"No."

"Oh."

"And I'm not old."

"You are old." He patted my stomach. "Now that you're gonna have a baby."

"I am," I told him. "Are you happy for me?"

"I guess so." He looked up at me, staring at me from under his too long hair. "Can I ask you somethin'? And not get in trouble?"

I knew what was next. "Of course, Vinny."

"Is the baby gonna be the other baby? From 'fore?"

"No," I told him simply, staring him in the eyes to let him know it was okay. "It won't be."

"I'm sorry."

I smiled morosely as he leaned his head against my side. "Me too."

Vinny stayed with me awhile before getting up to go find someone to actually play with him. It was about that time that Eli came and got me, claiming it would look bad if we weren't seen together. When I asked by who he simply told me his parents. I was pretty sure they both knew I was pissed at him though.

"You hungry, baby?" Eli asked me as we walked into the backyard. When I shook my head no, he frowned. "You told me you'd eat something."

"Maybe just a cupcake," I said, snagging one off a table as we passed it. "You wanna bite?"

He shook his head before glancing around at the people milling around his parents backyard. My eyes immediately fell on his mother, who was in her element with her own friends, no doubt gossiping. It was evident from the way they were laughing and smiling, as devious as high school girls. At least it meant she wouldn't hang around me though, I suppose. I feel like the two of us spend too much time together.

"Dad grilled burgers if you want some," Eli told me.

"Just this cupcake is fine."

"Aud, you're killing me."

"I've been eating, Eli. Honest. Just not today." I took a bite of my cupcake. "This is really good."

He nodded. "The Norwoods brought them."

"…I don't know-"

"Belissa's parents."

"Oh."

"She's not here though, so you don't have to worry."

"Like I was worried."

"You should be. I'm in high demand."

"High demand or just high?"

My neck got a kiss as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "What were you doing out front anyways?"

"I was talking to Vinny. He doesn't get along well with the other kids or so he was telling me."

"He doesn't," Eli agreed.

"Apparently, Thisbe's not too nice to him when they're with other people."

"It happens."

"If the roles were reversed, would you be saying that?"

"They're not, so it doesn't matter."

"Hmmm." I looked around again, frowning. "Where are your brothers?"

"Steven's at work and Jake is…" Eli frowned, looking around as well. "I dunno. He was- Oof."

Eli suddenly lurched forward, pulling me along with him. He wasn't able to help but to fall forwards, me hitting the ground right along with him.

"What the hell?"

Jake, who had tackled him, just stared down at us. "That's what you guys get for-"

"No."

I turned my head to see Karen making her way over. She just stood there for a moment, glaring at all three of us before saying, "No, not here. I've put up with it at the last, what, five parties? Not this one. I am not having the three of you-"

"I didn't even do anything," Eli grumbled as he looked at me. "I'm sober. Jake's the one who-"

"That hurt, Jake," I complained as I started to stand up. Karen was quickly to grasp one of my hands and help me. I wasn't that pregnant by any account, but I think she was just being nice. "You do realize that I'm pregnant, right?"

Eli glared his brother. "I should fucking-"

"Did you not hear me just say no?" Karen looked at both her sons for a long moment before saying, "Jake, go away."

"What?"

"Leave. Take whatever you want and then leave."

"I want Eli's life!"

Groaning, Karen let go of my hand as she turned to walk away. She stopped though when she saw her husband coming to join us.

"What's wrong?" he asked as Jake glowered down at Eli who still hadn't stood. "Karen?"

"Make Jake leave. He's not welcome. Don't make a scene of it, but-"

"That's not fair, Mom! You don't even know what Eli and Auden did."

"I don't even know what we did," Eli mumbled.

"When you kicked me out yesterday, Eli, I-"

"I really don't care," Joseph said bluntly, not amused with his youngest son. I swear, it's like he hates Jake. He's never particularly kind to him. "Leave, Jake. Now."

"Dad-"

"Do I need to escort you? Or better yet, walk him out, Eli."

"Me? He just attacked me and Auden." Eli stood finally, still glaring at his brother. "And by the way, Jake, if you knock my pregnant girlfriend to the ground again, it won't be nice for you."

"I wasn't trying to attack Auden," Jake defended. "She wasn't the one-"

"Both of you. Go. Eli, drive him home. You can come back if you want."

"Whatever," Eli said, moving to grab my hand. "Come on, A-"

"Auden stays," Karen told him. "You and Jake need to work this one out on your own."

"Fine, but when he tries to murder me-"

"And I will. Because I hate him."

"-then my blood will be on your hands," Eli warned before looking at his brother. "Come on, idiot."

"I'm not an idiot."

Joseph walked with the out to the front yard, no doubt making sure they didn't go fight in front of the children. Karen just stood there watching them for a moment, before looking at me.

"I feel like I haven't seen you all afternoon, Auden," she said, leading me back over to her friends. I was running through my mind all of the plausible ways for me to get away, but none seemed to form completely. "Where were you?"

"In the front yard with-"

"The kids," she finished, shaking her head at me. "You know, Auden, eventually you're going to have to get used to adults."

"Yeah," I sighed as we made it back to her group of friends. "I know."

"Are you alright?"

That was the first thing anyone said and it was directed at me. I just stared at the woman who said it, trying to remember her name. She was a heavyset woman with a really bad highlight job. I just nodded, knowing I'd never come up with a name no matter how hard I tried.

"She's fine. The boys were just playing a tad too rough," Karen said, rolling her eyes. "You know how Jake is."

The only woman I recognized enough to know her name in Karen's group of friends was Janice. She was sipping a diet soda while eying me. I just looked back at her, more shocked at the fact Karen had invited her. This was Joseph's birthday. I doubt he was happy about it.

"You getting far along now, dear?" Janice asked me. The woman next to her made a face, but she just stare at me.

"Not that far," I said, self-consciously as I wrapped my arms around myself. See? This is why I'd rather be around the children. "I'm only-"

"And you're still doing the college thing?" the woman went on. "My, my."

"Help you to reminisce, Karen? About medical school and having Steven?" The shortest of all the women, even shorter than Karen, giggled. I'd never seen her before, but she seemed to be Karen's age. And she knew enough about her. "Only you were married."

"Not all of us can be as holy as Mrs. Stock," one of her other friends mocked, only to get elbowed by Janice. "What?"

"That would imply that the girl isn't holy."

"'Well, she's not," she said before looking at me. "I'm sorry, sweetie, just telling the truth."

"Knock it off," Karen told her simply before glancing back at the open gate, no doubt wishing Eli would come back. Me meeting her friends was clearly not turning out so well.

"Well, it is unholy, Karen," the woman insisted. "And you're the one that told me she wasn't religious anyways. You aren't, are you, sweetie?"

I hated that she was calling me sweetie, but I couldn't get on her for not knowing my name as I didn't know hers. "No, but-"

"Then you're having a bastard," she laughed. I could tell that she'd probably had a little too much to drink just from the way she was acting. Or so I assumed. Still, Karen narrowed her eyes at her, just staring for a moment before speaking.

"You know, Wendy," she began as she lifted a soda off the table behind us and took a sip. "For someone whose son is a homosexual, you sure are pretty judgmental."

I've heard a lot of things before. A lot. But I cannot be the only one who never really heard a gay person referred to as a homosexual. At least not the way Karen said it. She said it like a filthy word and I could tell from the way the other women in her circle acted that they felt the same way. Especially that Wendy woman began to glare right back at Karen.

Typically, this would be the part where I piped up with my highly lax and liberal opinion that would piss Karen off. She had only insulted gays once in front of me, when Eli and I first got together. Even then, I had just informed her that I didn't appreciate what she had said and that was the end of it. Had she not been defending my honor, maybe I would have said something now. But since she was…

"He's young," Wendy defended, frowning. "He's just confused-"

"Young. Thirty's young now?"

"Your son is in his thirties and he'd getting a divorce," she argued.

"From a woman."

Wendy was clearly out on her own on this as none of her friends spoke up to save her. Karen just held her gaze for a long moment, waiting for her to make a comeback. If I was out of place when women my age fought, I was completely out of my element currently.

"Oh, I was joking, Karen," the woman hissed then before heading off, going across the yard to another group of women. Karen just watched her walk away before looking back at the rest of her friends.

"So anyways," Janice began again.

"So anyways," Karen agreed.

I stayed over there with them, just as awkward as before, until I saw Eli come back into the gate. I quickly excused myself before heading over to him.

"Apparently we're having a bastard."

He was at one of the tables, getting a plate of food. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Life goes on."

"It does."

"I love my bastard to bits and pieces."

"I'm sure."

"Who said it anyways?" He looked at me then, his face showing that he didn't find it as hilarious as his voice made it sound. "Tell me."

"One of your mom's friends." I shrugged. "I didn't know she was so bad ass."

"Who? Mom?"

"Mmmhmm."

"What'd she do?"

"That woman called our kid a bastard and then Karen brought up her gay son or something."

"Oh. Ms. Brindwell," Eli said, nodding. "Her and Mom get along well. Can't believe Mom said that. Sore spot, her son is."

"Only if you're a bigot."

"Not today, alright?" Eli nodded at his plate. "Want part of my burger, babe?"

"Not really, no."

"You gotta feed the bastard."

"Eli-"

"I'm kidding. My kid ain't a bastard." He looked me in the eyes then. "My kid is my world." When I didn't speak, he added on, "Well, part of it."

"What would be the other part?"

"I'm looking at her."


"No. You both had a good amount of dessert already."

"One more piece, Grandma?"

"Please, Mrs. Karen?"

"No."

"Grandpa!"

"Mr. Joseph!"

"One more piece of cake," I heard him declare to the kids from the kitchen. "For my birthday."

"That's how come we like Grandpa better," Vinny told her. I looked into the kitchen to see Joseph getting the kids more sweets. They quickly ran into the living room once they had their plates, giggling at the sound of Karen scolding her husband. She came into the living room soon too, though she just had a cup of coffee.

"You kids will thank me one day and curse Joseph," Karen told them as she sat down in her husband's chair. "When you start to get too big for your britches."

"What are bitches?" Thisbe whispered to Vinny.

"Britches, sweetheart," Joseph corrected as he came back into the room. "Don't say that other word anymore. Alright?"

She nodded quickly while Vinny just giggled. Smiling, Karen stood to let her husband sit down in his chair before taking a seat in his lap like usual.

"So was it a good birthday, Joey?" she asked him as he wrapped his arms around her, smiling.

"I've had worse."

"Which would have been?"

"All the ones without you."

Rolling her eyes, she said, "You must really want something tonight."

"I do."

Okay… Looking down now, I smiled at the little black kitten curled up in my lap. I stroked behind the cat's ears, smiling as he meowed sleepily.

"Gambit likes you, Auden," Vinny told me. "Just like me."

Gambit. Vinny had fought tooth and nail with Thisbe to name the damn cat that. In the end, he only won because he had taken to scratching Thisbe whenever she called the cat by another name. Karen immediately told Thisbe that she could name the kitten then, if Vinny was going to act like that, but it was too late. She'd already thrown in the towel.

"I like him too," I assured the little boy even though that wasn't entirely true. The one thing I'd always liked about cats was that they stayed away. Not this kitten. I'm sure when it got older it would become more reclusive, but so far, every time I was over it wanted to sit in my lap. Ugh.

"He's a good kitty," Vinny agreed, going back to his cake. It was then that Eli came into the room. He had been in the bathroom, though I didn't really care to know what. Smiling, he came to sit down next to me on the couch.

"You about ready to go, Aud?" he asked, reaching out to stroke the cat's back.

"Y-"

"You should spend the night too, Auden," Vinny said. "With Thisbe and me."

"What if the two of you come home with us?" I asked then. "And leave your grandparents alone?"

"It's quite alright, Auden. They can stay if they want," Karen told me. Joseph didn't agree though and I could see it from the slight frown on his face. He'd never send his grandchildren away though, as not to hurt their feelings.

"No, we owe them a night, since they had to come back home last night," Eli said, catching on to my endgame. "And no parties this time, guys. Just me, you two, and Auden. Huh?"

"What about Jake?" Thisbe asked.

"No Jake," Eli and I both told her at the same time.

"Besides, I think Jake went over to one of his friends house," Karen said as Joseph kissed her neck, probably excited by the thought of them getting to be alone. "If you two go home with Eli and Auden though you won't get to go to church in the morning."

"Actually, Karebear, I don't really feel like going to church in the morning anyways," Joseph spoke up.

"God just gave you another year of your life and you can't sacrifice a part of your week to him?"

Joseph just groaned, kissing her neck again. "No Sunday school though. Just church."

"Just church," she agreed, smiling at him. "I think you left some clothes over at Eli's from last night, Vinny, so just bring your bag of toys if you'd like."

"Okay, Granny," he said, going back to his cake. "Can we watch TV?"

"Sure," Joseph said, shifting to grab the remote. "I hope you all know what's starting up soon."

"Baseball," Karen said, sighing. "And there goes my husband."

"I've balanced you and baseball for years. Do you get the short end of the stick sometimes? Of course. But you get used to it."

She just took a long sip of her coffee, though I could tell how happy she was from the look on her face. I knew the sooner we all got out of there, the better so they could get on with their night. I knew what I did for Eli's birthday every year and though the thought disgusted me, I was pretty sure Karen and Joseph did something along the same lines. Not exactly, I'd hope, but close enough. At the very least, they'd wish to be alone.

"And we all know who's birthday is after yours," Karen was telling her husband then.

"Uh…Thisbe's."

She elbowed him again. "Jake's dear. It's at the end of March."

"Right," he said slowly. "And then Jordan's in May. Then Thisbe's."

"Then Thisbe's," Karen agreed.

"None of those matter though, Granny, 'cause they ain't my birthday," Vinny told her.

"You're going to have to lose this self importance trait soon, boy," Joseph told him. "It's really annoying."

Vinny just stuck his tongue out at the man while I smiled.

"Good weekend?" Eli mumbled in my ear.

"Good weekend."


Ugh. You guys have no idea how hard it is to come up with story titles for these things. So I'll go ahead and admit that yeah, they're getting dumber as we go along, but at least the contents good still, right?