A.N. this is my first fanfic so please be gentle ... and please review. Thanks
Disclaimer : I do not own Gravitation or the characters.
Winter Love
She was trying to resist the urge of rushing in the room and showering the man with kisses, but she knew that would not be a very good thing to do. That was why she was leaving him. She has endured too many things from him, so now that she has found her inner strength to finally leave, she was determined not to change her mind. Before leaving the apartment, she left the key on the coffee table. She knew this was the only way she could do it. If he was to wake up, she could never manage leaving him. She loved him too much.
Alice was now standing in the dark street, with her luggage in one hand and a small jewellery box in another. The previous night he has proposed her, but she knew he wasn't really in love with her. That famous, gorgeous, romance novelist was only playing with her feelings. She could see it in those yellow eyes of his, although his face was expressionless. Even though he wrote love stories, he never was romantic towards her. Come to think of it, he never was romantic to anybody, but she knew that one day someone will break through that cold heart of his. And until recently she thought that she did it.
She was so happy when he asked: "Will you marry me, Alice?" but before she answered she knew that he didn't truly love her. 'Your heart is as cold as the snow' she thought. 'You deserve your nickname. Even the sound of it sends me chills on my back. Yuki …' Alice didn't give an answer to his question. She said she needed some time to think about it and he agreed.
Now she was looking at the little jewellery box she held in her hand. It was heart-shaped and had a very beautiful design on it, with Chinese motifs. 'Should I dare open it?' she asked herself. Alice didn't see the ring last night because she was afraid that it might change her mind. 'But now I can open the box.' And as the thought occurred, she opened the little black-and-yellow jewellery box. Inside it was the most wonderful thing she ever laid eyes upon. Although the ring was quite simple, she couldn't resist staring at it. It was the shape of a wedding ring, only with one small stone that looked like a diamond. Again, memories and thoughts invaded her mind, but she snapped out of it and closed the box.
'I can't go back now. I will only suffer more and he will too. He doesn't love me and he will never do.' She took her luggage and left for her little apartment she managed to buy without him knowing it. 'Not that he would find out. Lately he was so cold and he spent so much time in his study that I don't think he ever suspected I left the house so many times.'
'Home.' she sighed after closing the door behind her. She made it towards the bed, got under the covers and started crying. Her beautiful aquamarine eyes looked like a ravished ocean after a huge storm. When she finally managed to fall asleep, she was feeling better, or at least she thought she was.
When Yuki woke up he needed some long, disturbing minutes to realize where he was. He had been dreaming about his past and now he was staring at the white ceiling, thinking at the future. But something was wrong. And then he noticed. Alice was no longer next to him and the sheets where she was supposed to have slept were cold. He slowly climbed down the bed and listened. There was no noise in the house. He walked to the kitchen and after that to the living-room. She was nowhere to be found. The house was so silent. No shower running, no dish been washed or no Alice preparing breakfast or his mug of coffee. And then he noticed the coffee table. On it, instead of the usual mug of coffee, there was Alice's key. He walked to the table and took it calmly thinking where she could be. He knew that she never left her key home when she left for work or for groceries. She never forgot it. Only then he realized. Alice has left him. She has left his apartment and his life. Realizing this, he felt a little chill on his back. He always thought she loved him and never occurred to him she'd leave. But she did. And she was never to return; after all, she did leave her key behind. That meant only one thing: she was determined to move forward with her life and he wasn't a part of it. She had set herself free, as well as she had set him free. She stopped him from doing the biggest mistake of his life. He was not mad, not upset. In a strange way, he felt better now and he was thanking her for this.
These were his thoughts when he suddenly heard his phone ringing. He recognized the tune and number.
"What do you want? I thought I told you I don't want you calling me." Yuki yelled in his cell phone.
"Good morning to you, too, Yuki. Actually I wanted to talk to Alice because I have a contract for her. I know she quit modelling so she could just be with you, but she said she would still work from time to time. And I tried calling her on her cell phone, but it's off. So can you please put her on so I could –?
"I can't put her on since I don't know where she is" Yuki broke of suddenly, annoyed because of the other's calmness.
"You don't know where she is? What happened? Did you have another fight? Because only when you have a huge fight she runs away for a couple of days."
"This time is final. She has left her key here, on the coffee table. I think … "
"Yes Yuki? What do you think?"
"I think the thought was in her mind for some time now, since I have proposed her and she only said she will think about it. One would expect she agreed."
Tohma was startled. 'Alice has left Yuki? Is it possible that she has found her inner strength and left? Come to think of it, that would explain why her phone was off.'
"Tohma, I have to go. I have a novel to write and the deadline is approaching."
"But what about Alice?"
"What about Alice? She left and let her key behind. That means only one thing: she doesn't want me in her life. She is in the past now. So I'll leave her there!" with these words, Yuki broke the conversation.
Tohma was amazed by both Yuki and Alice. 'What did he think of asking Alice's hand in marriage? After all, he said he didn't love her. And the way he acted when he found out she left for good proves it. And Alice. She found her inner strength and ran away from him. I thought she would never do it, since she loved him that much.'
As he was deep in these thoughts, his cell rang and he immediately recognized the tune.
"Alice! Thank God you called! How are you? Where are you?" he said in a breath.
At the beginning, he heard no voice at the other end, just someone sniffing, and he knew she was crying. But after he insisted on her giving him the address, he managed to comfort her a little. Alice needed a friend to cry on his shoulder, both literary and metaphorically, and he wanted to be there for her.
She gave him the address and then hung up. She was so upset that she couldn't even talk. He exited his office and the building, took a cab and left for her apartment. When he arrived, he gave a gentle knock on the door and waited for her to open it. He was expecting to find her in a mess, but what he saw when she opened the door just sent him chills down his back.
Her aquamarine eyes were ravished because of the tears and had the deeper shade of blue he ever saw. Her beautiful, pale face once, had now a slight reddish shade on. Her long, golden hair had been caught in a ponytail that looked so good on her.
When she saw him, she broke off and started crying even more than before. Tohma couldn't endure this. He walked towards her and embraced her with his strong arms. They stayed like that for as long as Alice couldn't stop crying, Tohma holding her tight and comforting her. When she finally stopped crying she released herself from the man's embrace and stared at him. He explained with a soft voice that he had spoken with Yuki earlier in the morning because he had a contract for her and that was how he found out about Alice leaving Yuki.
"What kind of contract do you have for me?" she asked. "You know that since I quit modelling I didn't even once have a contract and I don't know if I can handle it."
"Well I had a small one for you. Just some pictures for a magazine. But I have another one that is bigger and since you can take big contracts now I think I should tell you about the latter one. I was thinking of giving it to Mika but I trust you will do just fine. It is a contract in Germany and since you know German … I think it will do you good. You will leave New York for three months."
"Why all the way in Germany?"
"It is the well-known 'Winter Love Show'. All the important fashion people and designers are there. You will be the one representing me and my company. You will wear my dresses, go to interviews, shows and photo shoots. It is important to have a good model there and I think you will do just fine."
Alice's eyes opened wide in astonishment. She couldn't believe that Tohma was offering her that important contract. She didn't work for a year now and she never was as successful as Mika is but Tohma chose her over Mika.
"That means I will leave in a couple of days, will I not?"
"Yes. Everything is settled. You only have to sign the contract and I will take care of the rest. You will have an assistant and I will come along too. I will be there for you, help you with everything. But you have to do what I tell you. Can you handle it?"
"Yes."
He looked at those incredibly beautiful eyes. The tears she had shed a while ago gave them a distinctive light and he couldn't notice the expression in them. Her voice sounded a little happier because she was leaving New York for three months, but her eyes … he could see in her eyes that her soul was torn between the wish of running away from Yuki and the wish of running back to Yuki. That realisation made Tohma's heart stop.
"Tohma," Alice said quietly "please don't tell him where I am! He doesn't read the fashion magazines, nor does he watches TV, so he will not know where I am unless someone tells him."
"Are you sure about that?" He was still under the spell of her eyes, but he knew he had to snap out of it.
"Yes. After all that is why I agreed on this contract. I want to find some peace somewhere else and I don't want him to know where I am." At these words, Alice couldn't keep her tears any longer, so she let them loose. She was crying now like she never did in her life.
Tohma's heart couldn't stand it anymore. He went to her and wrapped his arms around her in a comforting embrace. He hold her at his chest as a best friend would do. When Alice realized that he had embraced her, she immediately blushed and buried her face in his chest in an attempt of hiding it. Despite her slight effort, Tohma saw it and it filled his heart with a warm sensation that made him kiss the girl's forehead, just as a father would do. At this point, Alice blushed even more, but now there was hope in her heart. She knew that leaving for Germany was the best thing to do and she also knew that 'Winter Love Show' was very important, so she said to Tohma:
"Thank you for trusting and helping me. I will not disappoint you." The expression in her eyes was all Tohma needed to be sure the girl was going to be alright, so he stayed a little longer and then left, saying he had to check the last improvements for their journey.
Two days have passed now. Alice was sitting next to Tohma in his private jet. They were heading to Berlin, the first of 10 cities that held this show. She was content with her decision of leaving New York. Only a small regret could be seen in her eyes and Tohma noticed it, although Alice did what she could to sound happy. She had called Yuki the day before their departure. When he answered, she told him only this: "I'm going to disappear from your life, so don't go looking for me." His answer hurt her more than she endured the last couple of days. "Why would I go looking for you?" he said before cutting the conversation.
"Alice, once we land I'll call for Mika. I thought you can handle this, but now I can see that I made a mistake. This is important for me, as well as it is for you and I can't let your feelings destroy this show." was what Tohma said.
"W-w-what?" Alice managed to say after a while. "Don't do this to me Tohma. I promised I will not disappoint you and that is what I will do. So don't do this to me, please!"
"I don't want to, but you give me no choice. For us to succeed you will have to listen to me and do exactly what I tell you to. Do you understand? Look at me please. Look into my eyes and tell me you can handle this and I won't call Mika if I see you are right."
Alice slowly turned her face towards Tohma's and gazed into his deep green eyes. "I will do it and you will be proud of me, Tohma."
His eyes lightened up with content. His face showed how happy he was.
She smiled at him and couldn't stop thinking how beautiful his golden hair framed his face, how his green eyes were smiling with joy. She only whispered: "Thank you, Tohma, for believing in me."
The drive to the hotel managed to catch her eye. The town was beautiful, the buildings were old but very well-kept, the statues were magnificent and the cathedrals breath-taking. But once she was alone in her 5 Stars Hotel's room, her thoughts returned.
'Why, Yuki? Why did you ask me to marry you if you didn't love me? How can I understand you? Because I know for sure that it wasn't love what you felt for me.'
"Because he got tired of playing and wanted to settle down in order for his fans to be satisfied." came the answer to her unasked question.
"What?" Alice was astonished. It was Tohma who has spoken. He was looking at her with a worried look on his face. He didn't know if it was good for her to find out now, but she had to know in order for her to go on with her life.
"Weren't you just thinking at the reason why he asked your hand in marriage, although he didn't love you?" At her shy nod, he kept on going: "Well, I gave you the answer. He did it both for his fans and for him. I think he got tired of playing around. Or maybe he did it because he didn't think you'll accept it. Kind of selfish, don't you think?"
"I-I-I-I don't know what –"
"You told him that you want some time to think about it, didn't you?"
"Yes, but –"
"And what did he do?"
"He said: 'Take your time.' "
"That shows he didn't expect an affirmative answer from you." Tohma added. "Wasn't he surprised by your answer? Or maybe puzzled? Did he have any expression on his face?"
"Come to think of it … No! His face was expressionless. So this was only a game? Was I just a toy for him?" As this thought occurred to her, she broke into tears. She couldn't keep them any longer, but at that instant moment she made a vow to herself. 'Never again am I going to cry because of Yuki!'
From that day on she channelled all her strength, will and love towards her career. She knew she had to be a professional and even more than that: she had to be the best.
Tohma saw the difference between the powerful Alice, who was now a well-known model thanks to the first show that took place in Berlin, and the girl that used to love Yuki.
Days were passing by and she was working hard. She knew this was her life now and she was pleased. She even became closer to Tohma, who for some reason wasn't the mysterious and closed person he was before they came to Germany anymore.
They were now in Hanover, the 5th city of the tour, and they had to attend a black-and-white party. She chose a dress created by Tohma. It was made from silk. It was tight on the waist and large from the hips to the ground. The material was so delicate that it fluttered with every step she took giving the impression that she was floating and not walking. To deepen this impression she wore a pair of big white wings, specially attached to the dress at her requirement. She had had the idea and Tohma let her do as she pleased, but he never thought she will look that ravishing. She looked like an angel from Heaven. Her golden long hair was cascading over her naked shoulders in big curls and her aquamarine eyes were lighted with happiness. Her skin was as white as the snow, but her hart was warm and filled with content. She was holding Tohma's arm when they entered the doors to the party. In her spare hand a red beautiful rose. Everybody turned to see them when they entered the room.
After mingling with the other guests and talking with them for a while, Tohma went to Alice and invited her to dance. The invitation startled her, since she knew Tohma didn't dance, but she accepted.
He took her by her hand and led her to the dancing floor. They were dancing waltz. Tohma was dancing so gracious and they looked so beautiful together. He was wearing a black tuxedo, with a white shirt and black tie. The tuxedo was showing the well-built complexion Tohma had. His blond hair had been cut a little and arranged by his personal hair stylist in a very elegant mode. His green eyes were now bright and he was smiling and complimenting her for her enchanting everyone.
"You are so beautiful tonight, Alice. I like the dress." He said slowly.
"Well it was designed and created by you, so you should like it."
"I only created it for you."
Alice was amazed. She didn't know what to say so she decided not to answer. Soon she noticed that they were the only ones dancing. Everyone else stopped in order for them to watch the beautiful match. She immediately blushed and rested her head on Tohma's shoulder.
"It's alright. I'll always be here for you." Tohma said gently.
They continued dancing. They were so gracious together and so beautiful. Tohma's deep green eyes exclaimed how happy he was in that instant and the blush on Alice's face said she was content, but more importantly, she felt safe in his arms.
When the dance was over they both locked their eyes, one desire in them. Tohma leaned and placed a soft kiss on Alice's lips. She responded by putting her arms around his neck and while they deepened the kiss Tohma slowly put his hands around her slim waist. They were so happy. But the event didn't escape the journalists.
The photos hit the first pages of all the fashion magazines. While some said about Alice's career, others said about the party and the evening she and Tohma spent together. "An angel among us. The new discovery of Mr. Tohma Seguchi, Alice Kathaima, was the revelation of the 'Winter Love Show' " said some of the titles, while others wrote: "Mr. Tohma Seguchi and Alice Kathaima found love."
Alice bought a magazine the next morning with pictures of her at the shows and parties and put it in an envelope, along with the small jewellery box and a letter, that said:
'Dear Yuki,
I am sorry for leaving in the middle of the night but I want you to understand that was the only way I could leave you. I barely resisted not rushing back in and kissing you. I knew that if you woke up I could never leave and would accept your proposal.
The night you asked me to marry you was the happiest night in my life but also the saddest one. Something broke inside me and made me take a decision upon my future. All I wanted was to marry you but I understood that night that you didn't love me so I left.
As you see from the article I'm sending you, I am in Germany. I left for the 'Winter Love Show' with Tohma. He has been kind enough to help me these months and he stood by my side as no one ever did.
I'm sending you back the ring. I don't know why I took it with me. Maybe to feel that there still is a connection between us. But now I am powerful enough to give it up and stand on my one feet.
I wish you all the happiness in the world. Hope you will find someone to love you as much as I did.
Alice'
With that she closed the envelope and mailed it. She was happy now, but she didn't know what life had in store for her.
On their last evening in Germany, Tohma and Alice were supposed to go at an official dinner with some German fashion men. Only that she didn't know what Tohma was planning.
She put on a very beautiful blue dress that complimented her eyes and let the professionals put make-up and do her hair. When Tohma saw her in the hotel's lobby he couldn't take his eyes away. She took his arm and he gave her a small and gentle kiss on her lips. They went to their limousine and left for the restaurant. They kept making out all the way there, until Alice reminded him of the dinner and told that they have to look presentable in front of all those fashion men. Only if she knew … The smile on Tohma's face grew larger while thinking at the surprise he had prepared for her.
When they arrived at the restaurant they were told that none of their guests have come. The waiters informed them that their table was prepared. They were showed to a comfortable booth and on their way there Alice couldn't notice there were no other people inside besides them. So she asked and they told her that the restaurant wasn't open yet, but they did an exception for them. 'That is Tohma. Always gets what he wants. He has that power.' she thought. In the booth they saw a table for two persons, with candles all around them, as the only source of light in the room.
"Tohma? What is going on?"
"I arranged a romantic dinner for us. We will be the only ones in the restaurant tonight. It was a surprise for you, to thank you for everything you did these few past months. I wanted us to have a special last night in Germany."
"Thank you, Tohma." said Alice after she snapped out of her dreamy mood. "So you did all this for me?"
"Of course I did. You deserve everything in the world."
Alice was breathless. They sat down at the table and started talking and enjoying themselves. They had a very pleasurable dinner, with everything that was the best in the matter of food and wine. Tohma made sure of that. After they finished eating they stood up and started dancing. Slowly their lips locked into a deep kiss. Tohma met Alice's half opened lips that seemed to ask to be kissed. They were still dancing and Tohma's fingers were running across the girl's naked back sending her chills in the entire body. She moaned slowly, just for his ears and invited him with her body language to touch her soft, white skin. Now the kiss deepened and Tohma's tongue slipped into Alice's half opened mouth and started tasting her. Tongues met in a twisting game and pleasure made them moan. All this time Tohma's fingers kept playing on her skin. She put one hand on the man's head playing with his locks and the other one on his neck, touching the so delightful skin, sending chills of pleasure down the man's spine. Tohma picked her up and they got outside to the limousine and left for the hotel.
When Tohma woke up, Alice's head was resting on his chest. They were covered with the satin bed sheets and she was sleeping. He looked outside and he smiled. The sun was coming up. He was happy. He loved the woman that was sleeping next to him and he knew she cared about him too. He wasn't sure if she loved him back for he didn't think she was over the love she had for Yuki. After all she had loved him very much and she still might, but he was decided to take a chance.
Lost in his thoughts, Tohma didn't see that Alice wasn't sleeping either. She was thinking at the exact thing he was, although none of them knew. 'I don't know why I did this. Maybe because I miss Yuki. I know I don't love him. I don't love Tohma. It is true I care about him, but I can't love him. Not after all that happened to me. I can't fall in love once more only to have my heart broken into millions of pieces again. Not after I barely managed to survive the last time. What he did last night for me amazed me. Yuki never did something that romantic. The atmosphere was serene. If Yuki would have done this the night he proposed I would have accepted in an instant. If he would have been as loving as Tohma is … but Yuki isn't like that. He is as cold as ice. And now I am treating Tohma the same way Yuki treated me so many times. I don't deserve his love.'
After a while they both moved and woke up. That was their last day in Germany. The 'Winter Love Show' was over and she had managed to gain a reputation and a name in the modelling. They were the most popular and celebrated and they were a couple.
In the jet, on their way back to New York, Tohma kept her in his arms. They didn't speak, just hold each other in the arms. At a point, Tohma captured Alice's eyes and looked at her. She stared in his deep green eyes but didn't say anything.
"I love you, Alice." Tohma said out of nowhere.
She didn't say anything. Big tears were forming in her eyes. She released them and they kept dropping until she was at peace once again. 'What do I feel for him? Do I love him? Am I behaving as Yuki did?' thought Alice.
"I know you can't say it. I know you don't even know if you feel the same way for me. I don't think that your heart healed after the love you had for Yuki. I just wanted you to know how I feel."
Alice didn't say anything. She knew Tohma was right. She hold him tighter and placed a kiss on his lips.
Several months have passed now and Tohma and Alice were on the front pages of the magazines. But they weren't the only ones. Yuki was also on the front pages. Since Alice had left him he has released several books which were very successful.
When he got the letter from Alice he felt happy for her. From what he could have seen she was happy with her new life. He knew that Tohma was the man who will love her and that he will do anything for her.
One day he received a phone call. He recognized the tune; it was Alice calling him so he answered.
"Hello, Yuki!"
"Hy, Alice! How are you?"
"I am fine, thank you. And you?"
"Just fine. Waiting for my book to be released on Saturday."
"So I've heard. Congratulations!"
"Thanks." And how is Tohma?"
"He is fine. He works a lot but I don't complain because so do I. Yuki, can we meet today? I have some spare time and I can come there, you don't have to leave the apartment. I know you don't like it."
"Sure Alice. Come when you can."
"OK, bye!"
"Bye!" 'I wonder why she wants to come and visit me.'
'He seemed so nice, like he has changed. Could it be? Could it be that someone managed to reach his heart ant melt the ice that was keeping it trapped inside of it?' Alice was feeling a little sad as she thought of this, although she didn't know why.
A few hours later she found herself standing in front of the door that she used to have a key for. That is right. That used to be her home some time ago, but not anymore. She left it. She gave a little knock on the door and she waited.
"Yuki!" she exclaimed when he opened the door.
"Hello, Alice!" he gave her a little smile. "So what's up?"
"You really did change. That means someone has to be responsible for the change. Who managed to break the ice shield you built around your heart, Yuki?"
"You'll find out if you read my next book, Alice. I'm dedicating it."
"You dedicated your book? You never did it before in your life."
"I guess that I really changed a lot. So how is everything going? Did something happen between Tohma and you?"
At this question she got a little upset. Yes, something did happen. She didn't know if she loved him or not. She felt she was acting like Yuki did when they were together. And she didn't want this.
"Yuki, how did you manage to change?"
Yuki didn't miss the change in her mood and eyes and when he heard her question he felt sad. So that was the problem. She had turned herself in a cold person because of him.
"Alice –
"YUUUKIII!" a loud voice screamed from the front door. "Yuki, I'm home!" A young boy burst in the living-room and jumped over to Yuki. He put a soft kiss on his lips and then he sat next to him. The little pink-haired boy had beautiful violet eyes. Yuki had a large happy smile on his face. Alice couldn't believe it. She just stayed there watching the two of them talking, the boy sitting in Yuki's lap now.
"Shuichi, this is Alice, a very good friend of mine."
"Hello. I am sorry if I interrupted your conversation." Shuichi's face was red. And then Alice saw him since he was facing her now. He looked at her with gorgeous violet eyes and she knew, she understood, how he reached Yuki's heart while she couldn't. The boy was cute and full of life.
"It's no problem. I was leaving anyway. Thank you for your time, Yuki. Nice to meet you Shuichi."
Before she left the apartment, the boy waved at her and it was then when she saw it. The ring she was proposed with was now on Shuichi's finger.
"Shuichi, promise me one thing, please. Promise me you will take care of Yuki and you will always love him as you do now."
"I promise."
"I wish both of you all the happiness in the world." she said leaving the apartment.
A few days later, she got a package from Yuki. It was his latest book. She took it and opened it to the first page. There was a dedication, just as he said it would be.
'To Shuichi, the one that melted the ice that trapped my heart and managed to reach it. I love you with all my heart and always will. Thank you for daring to love me.'
'Thank you, Yuki. I finally realised what is it with me and what I feel for Tohma.' Alice thought after reading the small note.
She went in her bedroom and put on the blue dress she wore during her last night in Germany and left for her lover's work. When she arrived, she was immediately led in Tohma's office. She rushed over to him and showered him with small, light kisses. Not knowing the reason she acted like that, he looked at her in astonishment.
"Tohma … I love you." Alice said softly. "I love you." she repeated as an astonished Tohma couldn't say anything.
"Alice … I love you so much." Tohma said when he was able to speak again. He placed her in his lap and reached for the desk. He took something out from one drawer and placed it in her hand before saying:
"I was planning to give it to you this afternoon, but I think it is better now. Alice, will you marry me?"
"Yes" came the answer from Alice, tears of joy in her eyes.
She opened the little black box and she took the ring out. Slowly she asked Tohma to slip it on her finger and after he did it, she looked at it. It was a beautiful wedding ring with a stone in the shape of the heart and the colour of her eyes. The stone was held by two strings of gold that formed around it two wings. It was marvellous and delicate. She looked at it in astonishment. And only when Tohma told her that it is engraved she took it off her finger and looked at it. And there they were, the most beautiful words anyone could tell her:
'To my Angel.'
"I love it." She leaned and kissed him.
