Author's note: Last night, I was thinking about how sad it is that in Neverwinter Night, the PC does not get together with Aarin Gend, since she left the city while he stayed. So I suddenly had an idea to try and write a short one-shot on the two of them- their last conversation. This is one of my random pieces so there probably would be quite a lot of mistakes and inaccuracies. As for the title, I don't know what to call it but I want to put it up now, and I don't want to leave it with no title, so somehow that title just came up.
Please have a read and review it if you enjoyed it in anyway! If this is successful I might extend it a bit, but right now, it is a one-shot.
He knew fully well that once she left him, he would probably never be able to grasp her hand once more. He also knew too well, that such a miracle was not likely to happen a second time.
That was why he pulled her into his embrace without answering her.
But she gently stepped back, shaking her head.
"Give me the answer, Aarin." She repeated, her voice hardening. "I must know you answer first."
Still he said nothing, he only continued to look at her in that silence he was long used to, but silence was no longer the perfect refuge. He could not continue to take shelter in it as he once did.
She taught him how to love again, and he could not simply forget her lessons and retreat into the lonely world he had live in. No, he would miss her, he needed her now that he found her…he did not want to be lonely when he realized what it was like to experience companionship, as well as being loved in return.
Yet his duty was equally important. He loved this city that he was bound to serve, and he did not know whether he could forgive himself if he abandoned it right now, when it needed him to help it to heal.
"So you do love the city more then me." She whispered accusingly. "So I am to lose not due to another woman…not due to you dead lover, but to this city."
It was Neverwinter who gave him his purpose of living when he was on the edge of losing his identity. That was the reason of his devotion, for the city had become his reason of existence, and by serving it he as able to make peace with himself.
It was even Neverwinter who brought him to her.
He remembered how she had seemed so strong when he first met her, leaving him with no doubt that this capable women was the hero most claimed her to be.
She had been wearing her armour with her spear beside her, and the design had made him examine it closely, as it was from the Uthgard tribe- who rarely give their weapons to outsiders, and she was said to be from Amn.
Upon a closer look, he saw that it was actually a weapon of the ultimate honour. Only given to those who were regarded as a hero by the tribe.
Strangely enough he kept on recollecting how her hair had been braided and then wounded up around her forehead, with only a green ribbon as an additional ornament.
Her hair was now completely loose and decorated with flowers, while a simple dress has replaced her armour. She was showing him that they could leave all this behind and become a pair of ordinary lovers: not the duty-bound spymaster and the soon to be out of favour hero of Neverwinter, but just as a man and woman.1
"I can not do what you want." He said. "Raven, I cannot leave this city, at least not right now. Neverwinter needs me."
"Do I not need you too?" she interrupted bitterly.
"Perhaps I am like most men, for I do wonder whether the woman I love need me if she is so capable herself." He admitted sadly.
"Then know that I am like most woman. 'Capable' as I might be, I do not want to be alone. I do need you! Come with me, Aarin," she implored once more. "You have done too much for this city already. But I…I have received you love and nothing else. I need your presence too!"2
"I must see Neverwinter recover." He began , grabbing her hand. "Give me but a few years time…"
"I will not stay in this city anymore!" she retorted angrily, snatching her hand away. "Aarin, it is too late for you to heal this place! It has already died. The balance has tilted too much."
"Then I must help the city to be reborn."
"I will not stay here." She repeated. "I doubt that I can stay here even if I want to."
"Will you…will you not wait for me?"
He desperately wanted her to nod, but he was no longer so naïve as to think of love as being something that was eternal. The truth was that it was not easy to retain your love on someone when you believed them to not love you enough. Even worse, was when you loved someone who was no longer by you side.
They both knew this, but they had learnt their lessons differently.
"You are not the first man I have loved," She whispered as she reached to clench his necklace in her first tightly. "But I had hoped that you would be the last…I still hope that you would be the last man I love. I know though, that love is such a weak and fragile being. The balance of the love we bear for the ones who are no longer there is the easiest thing to be outweighed."
"I only need five years."
"That is too long a time. I can not promise you anything. Why…" much to his surprise she actually began to cry. Shocked, he could only act on his instinct. Wiping her tears with his hand before he embraced her tightly.
"Why do you love this city more then me?" her voice was muffled, and tears were actually openly streaking down from her face. He had never seen her cry before, not even when she witnessed the executions, as she knew that she, out of all people, had to act strong.
"Did you not say that you want to be with me more then anything? What about your dreams of travelling on the sea with me."
"I do want to be with you more then anything." He said firmly, "But Raven, I own Neverwinter this much. That is why, I cannot go with you right now."
"Cities are always ravaged…will you have me wait for you forever?"
Tilting her head up she gave him a brief kiss before she pushed him away. Turning around she shook her head sadly before she began to walk toward the door…
Walking away from him.
"I only ask for five years, Raven." He implored again.
"I will try." Raven said very softly, closing her eyes she let her tears slide down her face silently this time. "I will try and remember that you love me so much. Most of all, I will even tell myself that I am the one you love the most, that you do love me more then this city."
Then she left him, and he could only hope that this would not be the last time he would be able to see her.
The only hope that he could cling onto was the image of how she had been grasping the necklace which he had gave her. He was sure that she wanted to stay in love with him as well.
But it was hard for them to not abandon idealism, as too much had already happened.3
"I do love you, and I always will." He promised.
Walking to his desk, he began to scribble on the map of Neverwinter that he had been studying before she entered. After only a few moments he laid his quill down in frustration.
All he could think now, as he stared at the map, was whether she had been to these various places, and what she had done there."
"Have I made a mistake?" he asked himself as he picked up his quill once more.
"Is my duty to Neverwinter that much weaker then my love for you?"
1 This bit is referring to how the hero fall out of favour with Lord Nasher
2 What I am trying to say is that she is saying that she is an ordinary woman, an ordinary human, even though people are regarding her as a hero, and that like most people, she cannot bear to be alone.
3 I am not sure if I agree with this, as I think Aarin Gend is actually still very idealistic despite all that had happened to him. But somehow this line came out…
Author's Note: well, there it is. Finished. Once again, please review if you like it in anyway (like most authors, reviews mean a lot). One last thing: this PC is a druid.
