There was so much in that moment that I wanted to tell you. I wanted to tell you I didn't care whether you had magic or not, that I didn't think of you as a traitor. How could I? You were always the most loyal, always there for me even when the rest of the world wasn't.
I wanted to tell you I didn't hate you, and that I still believed you to be the bravest man I ever met. So many times I should have praised you more; I should have made you feel appreciated. I wasn't a good enough King because I didn't treat you the way you deserve. I wanted to tell you I didn't want to abandon you, I didn't want to die, that I wanted to stay with you and have more time to embrace who you really are. I wanted to tell you that I finally understood everything you did for me all those years, all those moments I was saved mysteriously, it was you.
I wanted to tell you that I never could have asked for a better manservant, that I was eternally indebted to you – not that it would change much, you would never ask for anything in return. You were always so selfless, hiding the biggest, most special part of you to stay by my side. You put duty before your own desires, and I wanted to tell you that I'd never forget that.
I wanted to tell you that you were my better half… You were my conscience, my guide and my best friend all in one. No one changed me more than you did. You were the image of innocence and kindness when I met you yet you had the firm defiance and determination to stand up to me when I was wrong. I found myself wanting to change so that I may be worthy in your eyes. I believe I may have failed in that (especially regarding my initial reaction to your magic), and that breaks my heart because you were the most important person in my life and I valued your opinion over even my knights.
There was just too much to say, and too little time left for me to say it. And so, with my dying breath as I reached my hand to the back of your head, I said the one thing I regret never truly telling you…
"Thank you."
For you are my saviour, my best and most loyal servant, the one who made my life so much brighter. You helped me most to grow and be wise.
I only wish my eyes – as the light slowly faded out of them – conveyed what I could not say.
