A/N: Why is it that Sonny is the one who moves on? That Chad is the one who broke her heart? I wrote this because I wanted to switch it up. Chad was ready to be with Sonny, but she is the one who messed up. So this is her heart break.
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.
Note: Whatever is in italic (not bold-italic), are lyrics from Demi Lovato's "Here We Go Again", "La La Land", "Don't Forget" and "Trainwreck".
~x~
I see you everyday, holding hands with her. Every time you flash that smile to her, my heart aches. Every time you give her that soft kiss, my heart breaks. Every time you look at me with those deep sad, heart-broking eyes that match mine, I have to look away. I can no longer breath.
But it's just another pretty lie cause I break down, every time you come around.
It was all my fault. I know that now. I don't know how many times I can apologize to myself to accept the fact that I no longer have you. You say you forgive me, but I knew you better than you knew yourself. I can see through you. Lies, lies, lies. You hate me, you don't forgive me.
I should of never let you go. I was stupid and naïve. I should of listened to you when you said you loved me instead of believing the lies my friends said and what the tabloids tell. I should of trusted you instead of thinking you were something you're not. You were always Chad to me, never that three-named idiot. You showed you who truly are, but I just looked away.
You opened up to and I just shut you out. How can you pretend like everything is alright, when it's not? How can act like what happened between, didn't happen. I replay what's left of our small memories together in my mind like a broken record.
It's too late. I was scared, I am scared. I see you now, happier then before. It pains me everyday to walk by you and ignore you as if we are complete strangers in the hall. It's like I don't even know you anymore.
So my hope kept growing and I never looked back.
Who are you? Where are you? I need you.
I'm sorry, forgive me.
Please don't forget, about me.
I bite my lip, curl my fingers into fists, fighting back the tears and pain. You don't know that I'm dying inside, that I cry myself to sleep every night.
Inside I was dying to give it a try and you begged me to stay.
We longer talk. No more measly arguments, no more pointless bickering. You moved on, and I haven't.
You are not the jerk anymore, I am.
I don't deserve you. You don't deserve me. You need better and that's her.
You're a train wreck but I wouldn't love you if you changed.
I can no longer look at myself the same way again, I can't smile like I use too, I can't laugh like I need too. I can no longer look at other guys the same way I look at you. I can no longer feel the same way as I feel about you.
And I know that I should say goodbye, but it's no use. Can't live with or without you.
I love you and I should of noticed that sooner.
It kills me to see you smile and laugh. Having the best time of your life with her and them. I should be happy for you, but I'm not.
It should have been me. It was suppose to be me.
And I tore you out of my heart.
We are complete opposites. But opposites attract right? Wrong. Because you are up and I am down. You are right and I am left. I was afraid and you were ready to take on responsibilities and possibilities.
Tell me you feel the way I feel, because nothing else is real.
I'm sorry for letting you go.
One more thing I thought I'd share with someone special, I'm falling like I've never fell before. You're a train wreck but with you I'm in love...
~x~
PS; I'm not to fond of the title (it's kinda my own 'untitled'), so if anyone has any ideas for a good title, please just let me know :)
Also, I'd like to congratulate Kevin Jonas on his engagement to Danielle, best of luck you two!
Thank you for reading. PLEASE review, ox
