Title: Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows (Part One)
Pairing:
Naomi/Emily
Rating:
T, I guess
Words:
2,212 and more to come
Summary:
Erm, AU? Naomi wants Emily, but Emily likes men boys.

A/N: This is my first proper fic, I still don't know all the little ways of describing fics so bare with me but I'm guessing this is AU. Feel free to criticise or give me any tips :)

It's odd. The way your relationship came out of nowhere. You'd been at school together for five years; barely uttered two words to each other over all that time. She was part of the 'popular gang', her and her sister; they were like the ring leaders.

Untouchable.

It didn't bother you though. You had your own friendship group, content enough with your life.

As soon as college started something changed. You found that you had half your classes with her. You started talking (you can't remember how or why) and friendship blossomed. She was completely different to how you'd perceived her. From afar last year she'd seemed like a complete bitch; but now you realise she's caring, vulnerable and incredibly fun to be around. Part of you thinks she's only made the effort to talk to you because half of her old friends were too brainless to get into college (even on a hair and beauty course, which is a shame really, because they really needed to learn to apply foundation without looking like they'd been tangoed).

Pretty soon you become inseparable, your other friends find it strange, like you're betraying them, but you can't seem to help it, you just can't get enough of her. You'd spend time together doing completely pointless stuff, send each other close to fifty texts a day and take ridiculous photos together on your phones, usually when drunk or stoned, or both. When you look over the photos the morning after you notice how close you are to her and you feel your heart flutter (just for a moment, you think nothing of it, push it to the back of your mind).

You find yourself leaving your old friends behind, and you feel bad, but you still can't help it. You make friends with her friends and find yourself at random parties, watching Cook make a complete tit of himself, while Panda's practically bouncing off the walls after discovering the joy of class A drugs. You find yourself getting closer to Katie and Effy too, and pretty soon the four of you are doing everything together. You don't feel as close to them as you do to Emily though.

Suddenly, everything changes, and you know it's because of him. Apparently Emily's found true love, with some brainless footy player Katie's flung in her direction. You can tell he's only in it for one thing and the thought of him touching her sickens you (but you assure yourself that you're only looking out for your best friend, because you can see that he's only using her, that he doesn't love her, even if she can't). You know that she'll regret giving him her virginity; Effy knows it too. She can see that things aren't right between you and Emily, because Effy's the type to observe. She can see that it's crushing you (even though you won't even admit that to yourself).

"She'll come back to you, y'know. Eventually." She tells you one day when a bunch of you are sitting in the park, getting pissed. You went to sit by yourself on the swing, bottle of vodka in hand, planning to get so monumentally fucked up that you can forget the hurt you're feeling for a moment (even if that moment's only fleeting). You laugh bitterly at Effy's words, taking another swig from the vodka and barely flinching as it burns you throat. You see Emily and him, practically eating each others faces as they lay on the grass a few metres away. It wouldn't be so bad if you got to see her without him always being there, his hands permanently glued to her arse. But it's like you don't exist anymore, he's replaced you. Effy realises you're not really in the mood to talk and goes to leave, but before she does she puts her hand on your shoulder reassuringly.

"If you ever want someone to listen, I'm here." You give her a grateful half-smile and she's happy with that. She leaves you alone to think (and you're even more grateful because that's all you really want to do right now)

A few days later you find yourself sitting with Effy in her car, smoking together, in comfortable silence; and that's when you decide to bare your soul.

"I miss her so fucking much," you say, and appreciate how Effy just nods, understands exactly who you're talking about, and silently wills you to go on while taking another drag of her cigarette. "I know I see her everyday but it's like it's not her anymore. It's like she's changed, and she has, and it's all to please him. And I don't understand how she can't see how much of a complete fucking tosser he is. I know she will eventually, at least I hope she will, and I know she'll come crawling back to me because she knows I'll never leave her, because she always gets her own way with me; even when she treats me like shit. And I know I shouldn't let her but I do, and I'll be there when she needs me, even though I know there's a good chance she'll start treating me like shit again. But I can't help it because I love her. So. Fucking. Much."

You realise you've said too much, that that was something you've been refusing to admit even to yourself, and now you've gone and blurted it out to Effy. You notice the tears that are streaking down your face and the overwhelming feeling of relief that you finally have someone to talk to about the thoughts and feelings that have been whizzing round your head for weeks, months even. You feel Effy pull you into a hug, it's so uncharacteristic of her, and it's awkward because you're in a car so there's this massive space between your seats.

"I know," Effy says, "And it's okay."

A few more weeks pass and you appreciate how Effy's managed to keep her knowing looks to a minimum when Emily's around.

One day Emily comes up to you when you're at your locker, stands there awkwardly for a minute while you busy yourself with your books (because you're trying desperately to detach yourself from her, that way it might stop hurting so much, but every time you look at her you feel yourself falling for her all over again).

"I miss you Nai," she blurts out, and you try to act nonchalant, slipping a couple of books into your bag. You fight the urge to reply with 'well whose fault is that?' and instead tell her "I miss you too," because it's the truth.

"So we should do something, yeah? Have a movie night or something."

"Yeah," you agree, but notice from that one sentence how much she's changed. It's almost like she's turning into Katie, what with the footballer boyfriend, the way she dresses and now even the way she talks. Still, you can't stop the huge grin that creeps onto your face at the thought of finally having some time alone with your best mate, without him there.

"Friday night?" she suggests.

"Sounds like a plan." You smile. Genuinely.

Friday night comes and Emily arrives at your baring gifts of popcorn and peach schnapps (your favourite). She microwaves the popcorn while you find some lemonade to mix with the schnapps and then you both run up to your room. She lies on the bed while you grab your DVD collection. You sit on the bed with her to show her the movies you've got. She instantly grabs Pretty Woman and hands it to you expectantly.

"What am I your slave? You know where the DVD player is," you laugh and nod your head over to the TV set.

"But you're the host," she grins. "Pleeeease," she begs while giving you her puppy-dog eyes. You roll your eyes at her and snatch the DVD from her hands. You're not surprised, she always gets her way.

By the time you've set the TV up and turn around to sit back on the bed Emily's already crawled under the covers and stolen all the pillows. She smiles her best innocent smile at you and pats the bed to tell you to sit next to her. You whack her on the leg to tell her to budge over and as she's doing so you steal the pillows out from under her head. She looks at you in mock anger and you just give her an innocent smile back. She laughs at you and grabs your arm, wrapping it round her shoulders so that she can use you as a pillow. You watch her as you feel your heartbeat quicken considerably, she places the popcorn in between you both and starts to watch the film. You try desperately to concentrate on the film too, but you just can't. Having her this close to you is too distracting. You can feel your heartbeat in your ears, you're sure she's bound to hear how fast it's beating sooner or later. You keep nervously glancing down at her, waiting for her to notice the effect she's clearly having on you but she doesn't. She just stares at the screen, absentmindedly shovelling popcorn into her mouth, a small smile playing on her lips. You finish your drink quickly and start to relax a little and have some popcorn, still trying to concentrate on the movie but being very conscious of every tiny movement you make, and every movement she makes for that matter.

The end credits start to roll just as you're polishing off your fourth drink, which you've probably been making stronger each time. Emily stretches out and yawns before grabbing the pile of DVDs that are still lying at the bottom of the bed and places them in her lap, looking through them quickly until she finds the one she's looking for. She holds up The Notebook and throws it onto your stomach for you to go put in the DVD player again. You sigh and get up, stumbling a bit as the alcohol hits you.

"Jesus Ems, could you have picked a soppier film?" You ask, placing it in the player and making your way back over to the bed.

"If you think it's so soppy then why do you own it?" she asks then smiles triumphantly as you fail to come up with an answer. She grabs the bottle of schnapps from your side of the bed to pour herself another drink but stops when she feels how light it is. "Christ Nai, slow down, it's not water y'know," she says seriously as you take another large gulp from your glass. You smile slightly as you recognize the motherly side of the Emily you used to know.

"Sorry," you mutter, "popcorn makes me thirsty."

She smiles at you, letting it go and continues to pour her drink. You hit play when she's done and lift your arm up voluntarily as she resumes her place next to you. You think she's snuggling closer, but put it down to wishful thinking.

By the time the second film finishes you're drinking the schnapps straight from the bottle, and even though you see Emily giving you a reproachful look she doesn't say anything so you carry on.

"I think it's time for me to go home," Emily says, yawning.

"If you think I'm letting you walk home alone at this time you've got another thing coming," you try to say it seriously but you're slurring and it just sounds ridiculous.

"Well you're not walking me, you'd have to walk back here after and you'd probably fall into a bush or something on the way," Emily laughed.

"So sleep here you moron, just don't hog the covers yeah?"

"I can't make any promises," she laughs and pretty soon you've changed into an oversized t-shirt and given her one too. You jump into bed but misjudge it and smack your head on the headboard.

"Smooth," she says through her hysterical laughter.

"Shut up," you grumble and get under the covers quickly. She's fast asleep in no time but you're far too alert for someone who's drunk almost an entire bottle of schnapps. You keep your eyes carefully trained to the ceiling while all your other senses seem to have heightened dramatically. You hear her soft breathing and occasionally she mumbles something incoherent which, strangely, makes you want to laugh. You can smell her shampoo, something fruity, or maybe that's just the smell of schnapps, you ponder it for far longer than is necessary. You can feel every movement she makes and every time she turns in her sleep you tense up slightly and hope she's moving closer to you, because you yearn to just hold her but you know you can't. You sigh loudly and glance over at the alarm clock. The luminous red numbers are too bright for your eyes to handle after staring into darkness for so long and you have to squint to make out the time properly. It's 3AM and you groan slightly at the lack of sleep you've gotten before turning onto your side facing away from Emily and eventually drift off to sleep.