AN: Sadly I do not own Star Wars, i just play with its characters! ;D
I hope you will like it and please, leave a comment and tell me what you think! ^^
Italic: Qui-Gon's memories.
Death
When Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn's mind awoke from deep slumber enough to register the time, he promptly decided to turn around and to keep on sleeping. When he turned around however and came into contact with something that shouldn't have been there, the dark haired man was suddenly wide awake.
He sat up straight in his bed, arm already outstretched to call for his lightsaber - that lazily hung on the wall - when the tall man's eyes landed on the reason for his shortened sleep. The reason, or rather the person, was none other than Qui-Gon Jinn's new apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi, who laid curled up and deeply asleep on the other side of his Jedi Master's large sleep couch. The Jedi Master huffed at the sight. This boy, even though he was his apprentice for barely a few month now, had already cost him more grey hair than his former Padawan Xanatos had during his whole apprenticeship.
Qui-Gon's heart twisted in pain at the thought of his former apprentice. Xanatos had left him and the Jedi Order. He had fallen to the dark side and Qui-Gon had been too blind to see it. He still blamed himself for the fall of his second Padawan, but he was healing. Thanks to Master Yoda and the little boy right next to him. Yoda had, after he had seen enough of the depressed state Qui-Gon had been in after Xanatos' betrayal, literally dragged him to one of the gardens of the temple. The damn troll had left him there, with the excuse to help Mace Windu. He had promised to return shortly, but later on Qui-Gon had realised that this had all been a dirty trick to help him.
{Qui-Gon was sitting on a bench that was relatively hidden from view while waiting for the green troll and while letting his thoughts wander. The tall Jedi normally felt at ease when he was surrounded by nature, but like so often in the past few days, his thoughts soon turned to Xanatos, causing him to fall deep into depression again.
Close to tears he hid his face in his hands and closed off everything around him.
He hadn't even noticed the crèche Master with a bunch of children entering nor had he noticed the single child that had spotted him - even though he was hidden from sight - until it was too late. The young boy had startled him out if his thoughts when he had tugged lightly on Qui-Gon's much bigger hands. The Jedi Master had jolted up and found himself gazing into the big, blue and innocent eyes of a young human boy. Before Qui-Gon could so much as open his mouth, the child had reached up to his face to wipe away the single tear that had escaped the older man's eyes. The child had smiled sadly, almost knowingly, before he bowed with more grace than a child this young should poses and was gone the next moment.
Qui-Gon just continued to sit on that bench, gazing at the door the young boy had left with his crèche group until the sound of a stick hitting ground brought him out of his stupor.
"Thinking again, you are." The old and wise Jedi Master stated.
"No… no I was," he trailed off, not knowing what to say.
"Hmm, nice flower you have there. Know its meaning, you do?"
Irritated the taller male ran with his hand through his hair in confusion, but stopped in his movement when his finger touched a weird object at his ear. He hesitantly took the object in his hand and looked at it, only to be faces with a little, yet beautiful flower. For a moment the long haired man wondered where the flower came from, when suddenly the young boy with the ginger hair came into his mind. He must have put it there.
"A little friend you have found, hmm? My first question answered, you have not."
Qui-Gon looked back at the old Jedi Master, who almost casually leant on his stick and regarded the younger male. "I don't know it's meaning…" he answered hesitantly.
"A Gladiolus flower that is!" he motioned with the stick at the flower that rested safely in the taller man's hand. "Signifies remembrance it does, but also expresses infatuation and that the receiver's heart is likely pierced. Can also stand for strength of character, faithfulness and honor," he paused for a moment, "Astonishing it is, what a single flower can mean. Fits you, it does!"
"A boy gave it to me."
"A child, yes. Know this child, I do. Strong in the Force, he is. Further in his learning than others his age. Caring, wise and a bright light this child is. A great knight, he will become!" Yoda hummed in agreement.
"A bright light…"
"Visit him you should! Obviously drawn to each other, you are," stated the green Master and knocked his stick on the ground to emphasize his words.
Qui-Gon sighed in defeat, he knew Yoda would order him to see the boy otherwise. One problem however remained, "I don't know his name."
"Obi-Wan Kenobi…"}
Qui-Gon chuckled fondly at the memory and looked down at his young charge. He carefully brushed a few strands of hair from the young child's face. Obi-Wan didn't so much as stir and Qui-Gon wished he had the same ability to sleep everywhere and every time he so chooses.
He wouldn't exchange the boy, this bright presence in his life, for anything. Even though they had a rather rough start. Granted, it had all been Qui-Gon's fault and hadn't the Force screamed at him to do something, then this beautiful child wouldn't lay beside him, let alone be his apprentice.
{It had taken him quite some days to find the courage to visit the young Initiate who had gifted him the flower. That alone was pathetic, for he was a adult Jedi Master and therefore he shouldn't be unsure, let alone afraid, to visit a crèche child.
The crèche Master, whose name Qui-Gon had forgotten almost immediately, had been more than surprised when the tall and normally rather stoic and distant Jedi had entered and asked to see a certain young child. The crèche Master, an old woman, had looked sceptically had him and asked if she should call the healers. When he declined, the next question had been if Obi-Wan had done something wrong and once more the taller Jedi had declined. He could tell that the woman did not believe him one bit and he wondered what Obi-Wan had done to earn her mistrust.
After a moment of silence during which the woman looked him up and down once more, she finally nodded and let him to a rather secluded and small room at the back of the crèche.
"I'll send him to you."
"Thank you." Qui-Gon had slightly bowed his head and the woman left.
The dark haired man looked around curiously. The room obviously belonged to a child, which made him wonder. Why would a child be secluded from his age mates? But before Qui-Gon could find a possible answer, the door to the room opened once more and the woman from before literally dragged the child into the room. It was more than obvious that she was hurting him.
"Now you better tell the truth and say what you have done, young man," the woman threatened in a cold tone.
"But I didn't do anything!" protested the boy, his manner of speech better than it should have been for a five years old.
The woman did not believe him, "A Jedi does not lie."
"I don't lie!" exclaimed the boy, clearly distressed.
The woman had opened her mouth to retort, but Qui-Gon, who had seen more than enough, interrupted, "That's enough! Obi-Wan has done nothing wrong."
"Yet you wish to speak with him," she scoffed in disbelief and folded her arms over her chest.
"I do, on a personal matter. Therefore, I want to speak with him alone!" he emphasised the last word and with that the older Master turned around and strutted out of the room.
The boy worried his lip between his teeth and shyly looked up at the taller man. Qui-Gon tried to smile encouraging at the ginger haired boy, but failed miserably.
"Well," the Jedi Master tried to find something to start the conversation, "you are a little troublemaker, eh?"
The boy looked unsure, before he shrugged and shook his head. Qui-Gon sighed mentally. This was harder than it should have been.
"The flower you gave me," immediately the nervous shuffling of small feet stopped and the boy looked up at the taller male with bright blue-green eyes, "do you know what it means?"
"Yes," the boy retorted.
"How?" Qui-Gon asked stunned.
"I read it in a book Master Yoda gave me!" explained the young Initiate and Qui-Gon could have sworn that the green in his eyes was getting more prominent.
"You know Master Yoda?"
The boy nodded eagerly, "He always visits me and brings me books when I had a vision."
Qui-Gon hesitated. A child this young shouldn't have visions, especially none that would gain Yoda's attention.
"Do you have often visions?" the long haired man asked curious.
"Almost every night…" he trailed off.
"Is this your room?"
"Yes, Master Decrux," surely this was the name of the crèche Master, "said that I am disturbing the other children. That's why I have to sleep alone!" Qui-Gon had already guessed that.
"What are the visions about?" He continued to ask, his curiosity now spiked.
The boy shrugged, his blue eyes suddenly looking older than they should, "They are about a lot of things… Master Yoda says that some of them show the future and some the past."
Qui-Gon hummed in thought. "A lot of the visions were about you," Obi-Wan hesitated, "that's why I know what happened!"
The Initiate's eyes turned to the floor again and Qui-Gon felt a ping in his heart. That was why the child had smiled so knowingly at him, but why did Obi-Wan see visions about him?
The taller male slowly kneeled on the floor to be more on eye level with the child. He still was taller though. He hesitated for a moment, before he lifted the ginger haired boy's head and was greeted with widened grey eyes. The older man startled at that. Hadn't the boy's eyes been blue a few moments ago?
"I am sorry if I have offended you! I didn't mean to do that, I swear! I only wanted to help!" the child quickly blurted out, almost panicked.
"Hey, it's alright! You didn't offend me… come here."
Qui-Gon had opened his arms in a silent invitation and Obi-Wan only hesitated for a moment before stepping forward. The older Jedi Master was surprised at himself. After Xanatos' fall, he hadn't allowed anyone near him, let alone any physical contact, yet this child had him wrapped around his little finger without trying. Later on Qui-Gon would say that he only did as the Force told him to, but he knew, deep down, that he and the child were connected and not only through a bond that had started to form then.
A few moments later, Qui-Gon gently pushed the boy, whose eyes had returned to their blue-green color, away.
"I have to thank you, little one," he stated seriously.
"Me? Why?"
"For one, for your beautiful gift and secondly for helping me. I don't know how, but you brought me out of my loneliness and depression. You showed me that the future still holds more," Qui-Gon didn't know if the young boy understood what he had been trying to say, but at the smile that greeted him, he knew that the child did. Once more the older man found himself wondering, what a special child Obi-Wan Kenobi really was.
Unfortunately Qui-Gon had to leave soon after, he had a meeting with the Council. Before he could leave however, Obi-Wan said, "I don't even know your name…"
Almost immediately the older man's eyes softened, "Qui-Gon Jinn."
Obi-Wan nodded, his green eyes sparkling.}
It had taken the older man quite some time to figure out that the boy's eyes changed colour, depending on the mood he was in. Blue usually meant that Obi-Wan was sad, green normally expressed happiness and grey meant that he was scared or in pain. Qui-Gon hated it, when his young charge's eyes became grey. They weren't supposed to be grey and scared. They child was supposed to be happy, not in pain!
The long haired Jedi Master sighed and let himself sink back into his pillows. He dreaded the memory when Obi-Wan's eyes had turned a deep and dark grey for the first - and hopefully the last - time Qui-Gon has ever seen.
It had been only moments after he had left for his Council meeting.
{He had almost reached his destination, when the Force told him that something was greatly amiss. Of course Qui-Gon tried to figure out what it was, but the Force and his mind were disturbed. The tall Jedi Master was so deep in concentration that he had stopped in his movement in the middle of the corridor. And he didn't even notice when Mace Windu, his best friend since childhood and newest Council Member, stepped up to him.
"Qui-Gon, what's the matter? Are you not feeling well? Qui-Gon?"
But the taller man didn't answer, he suddenly knew what was causing the Force to be so disturbed.
"By the Force Qui-Gon, you look as if you have seen a ghost!" Mace Windu suddenly exclaimed and gripped his friend's shoulder almost painfully.
It was then that Qui-Gon's gaze landed on his friend, "I have to go!"
"What, Qui-Gon-"
But the taller man had already freed himself and was running the way back, he had just came, "I am sorry, but it's urgent!"
He heard the scared and pained cries before he entered and the sight that greeted him, left Qui-Gon frozen in the doorframe.
"I don't know what you have done, but I don't care. You are a disgrace to the Jedi and I don't know what Master Yoda sees in you, but I won't tolerate your behaviour any longer! You are going to behave like a normal child, do you hear? No visions and no Jedi Master visiting you in the future, do you understand?" the old crèche Master almost quelled.
Master Decrux emphasised her words by slapping the ginger haired boy, who was bend over her lap, on his bared buttocks. The child's rear was bright red, an obvious sign that this procedure had gone on for quite some time now. He was crying, tears streamed down his face and the eyes were a deep grey. The other children as well as the other crèche Masters were looking at the scene before them in horror and just as Qui-Gon they were unable to move and do something.
A specially loud and hard slap and the heart wrenching cry that followed brought Qui-Gon out of his stupor. With confident and determined steps, he walked forward and gripped the woman's wrist tightly. At this moment he couldn't have cared less if he left bruises.
Startled the woman looked up at him an was about to scold him too, but at the hard, cold and unforgiving look she received, all words died in her throat.
"Release him!" the order was nothing more than a whisper, but the woman's eyes widened almost in fear and immediately she loosened the grip she had on the crying child. The taller Jedi Master let go of the wrist he was still holding and gathered the abused boy in his arms. He carefully pulled the Initiate's pants up and securely wrapped his arms around Obi-Wan, who hid his face in the older man's neck. Qui-Gon could feel the tears wetting his neck and his tunic, but he didn't care at all. The only thing that mattered was the boy in his arms and if he hadn't other things to worry about, Qui-Gon would have done a few things to the woman a Jedi shouldn't even think about.
Master Decrux had seemingly gathered herself again, for she stood up - tall and proud - and faced Qui-Gon.
"I demand that you hand me the child over, Qui-Gon Jinn. He is not your responsibility and it is my duty to punish misbehaving children."
Qui-Gon's voice was cold as ice when he answered, "How dare you lay hand on this boy? How dare you hurt this bright and beautiful child? I swear to you, if you ever lay a hand on him again, you will deeply regret it!"
Before either of them could add anything else, a new voice sounded behind them, "Master Jinn, Master Decrux, what is the meaning of this?"
Qui-Gon turned around to look at the approaching form of Mace Windu, whose eyes landed on the silently crying boy in Qui-Gon's arms.
Master Yoda was slowly trotting behind the dark skinned Council Member, looking satisfied at Qui-Gon.
"Masters," greeted Master Decrux and bowed, almost causing Qui-Gon to roll his eyes, "Master Jinn seemed to think that my method of punishments are too strict for a misbehaving child."
"Misbehaving child? Tell me one thing this child has done since I left mere minutes ago!" Qui-Gon retorted angrily and tightened the hold on the boy on his arms, who had also tightened his arms around the larger man's neck.
"It is none of your business, what this boy did and how I deem it fit to punish him. He is not your responsibility!"
"I'll make him my responsibility then," Qui-Gon retorted coldly.
"You of all people want to take care of him? Shall I remind you of your latest charge, Xanatos was his name I believe," the older woman looked challenging at him. Normally Qui-Gon would either be extremely depressed now or very angry, but surprisingly the child in his arms seemed to calm him down.
Out of the corners of his eyes, Qui-Gon saw that Mace had opened his mouth to stop the argument, but the taller Jedi interfered, "I gave Xanatos everything I could and guided him as well as I was able to, but in the end it was his decision. I won't deny that I was too blind to see his darker sides and maybe another Master would have been more suited to take care for him, but I cannot change that now. No one can and besides, I believe who I take as an apprentice and how I take care of him, is none of your business," he stated in a calm manner.
Mace looked stunned at his friend's changed behaviour and even the crèche Master looked surprised. Yoda however looked very pleased at the situation.
"Now Masters, if you'll excuse me, I am going to take the child to my chamber and take a look at him. I guess Master Decrux will answer all your questions on what transpired here." With that Qui-Gon bowed as good as he could with Obi-Wan in his arms and left a few stunned faces behind.
When Mace Windu came looking for his friend and the small boy, he was greeted by the sight of Qui-Gon sitting cross-legged on his couch, reading and a sleeping child in his lap.
Mace had informed the taller man that Master Decrux would be degraded from her post as crèche Master and would be given another, more suitable task. He then had offered to bring the boy back to his own bed, but Qui-Gon had promptly declined and told Mace that he would look after Obi-Wan. The dark skinned Council member had smiled knowingly and eventually left.
Not long after, another crèche Master came and brought Obi-Wan's belongings and since that fateful day, Qui-Gon Jinn had a new roommate.}
Obi-Wan had moved into Xanatos' old room. The young boy had been extremely shy and almost scared the first few days, but got accustomed to the new changes in his life pretty well.
Qui-Gon remembered that he had been very nervous as well. He had never been good with children so young, but he soon found out that he shouldn't have worried, for Obi-Wan was not like other children.
{Obi-Wan was further than his age mates in almost everything he did. He actually was able to manipulate the Force enough to levitate different objects simultaneously and very precisely. A feet Qui-Gon had only mastered when he was ten and Obi-Wan was barely five years old. Needless to say, Obi-Wan behaved differently than others his age, he was way more mature and knew things not even Qui-Gon knew. On top of that, Obi-Wan desired only two things, except the obvious needs of living beings like food and sleep. He wanted knowledge and the boy didn't care in the slightest what he was taught, he took everything he got and the second thing he wanted or rather needed, was love, preferably in form of physical contact. The older Jedi Master had been reserved and hesitant at first, but Obi-Wan soon melted the last ice around his heart and Qui-Gon soon enjoyed the physical contact as well.}
He looked at his still sleeping apprentice. Obi-Wan was nine years old now, but would soon turn ten. He had surpassed his age mates a long time ago and would even give some of the older Padawans a run for their money.
One thing however, hadn't changed. He still needed lots of love and he still wanted to gain more and more knowledge. Obi-Wan simply soaked up everything Qui-Gon would teach him, like a dry sponge lying in a puddle. And against all the expectations of the Jedi Masters that Qui-Gon would call friends and close comrades, Obi-Wan has never been a demanding child. Quite the opposite in fact and Qui-Gon wouldn't miss the time he had with the bright light next to him, for anything in the whole universe.
A few mumbled and slurred words brought the Jedi Master out if his musing. He immediately looked to his little companion, whose face was twisted in an almost pained expression, a clear sign that Obi-Wan most likely had another vision. Visions were also a part of their daily life. Almost every night, the poor boy would be haunted by visions, either of the future or the past. Most of them showed gruel possibilities, rare were the occasions when the visions were pleasant. The worst part however was that almost every single one of Obi-Wan's visions of the future actually took place. It was troublesome, scary and almost disturbing.
Master Yoda had said that Obi-Wan's connection to the Force was even greater than his own and that the Force had planned great things for and with him. Qui-Gon didn't doubt the older Jedi Master's words, but he still found it highly unfair that such a sweet, innocent and bright child had to suffer like this.
The older man quickly pushed himself up on his elbow and shakes the boy next to him.
"Obi-Wan! Wake up, little one," he spoke aloud and at the same time he reached out through the bond they shared.
Almost immediately the boy's eyes snapped open and he was pushing himself into a sitting position.
"Another vision?" Qui-Gon asked worried, while Obi-Wan rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.
"Yes Master," he replied still sleepy.
Qui-Gon sighed, "why haven't you woken me up?"
"I tried, but you wouldn't wake…" he trailed off.
"So you just crawled in next to me?" Obi-Wan nodded, his eyes were blue-grey. "What was the vision about?"
Obi-Wan looked away and didn't speak. Qui-Gon was about to repeat the question, when Obi-Wan suddenly answered, "I don't know… there was a man, clad in black. He looked more robot than human and he felt… dark. There was also another man I didn't know, he was fighting the darker being."
Qui-Gon hummed in thought. Probably another vision of the future, something they shouldn't dwell on too much.
"I tried to meditate after the vision, but I wasn't able to do so," Obi-Wan suddenly continued, "the Force is restless…"
"And you are restless too," Qui-Gon finished the sentence for his apprentice.
Obi-Wan nodded. "Well, my very young apprentice-"
"I know, I know!" interrupted the ginger haired boy his Master, "Concentrate on the here and now. Live in the moment. The future is always in motion."
"Since you know everything so well, my insolent brat, you know what I am going to have to do now!"
The young boy gave him a confused glance, but before he could retort or so much as react, the older Jedi lunged forward and pinned the smaller and weaker male on the bed.
"Master?" Obi-Wan asked nervous.
The long haired Jedi only smiled cruel and freed one of his hands before attacking his young charge.
Obi-Wan laughed loudly and tried to squirm free, but Qui-Gon had a hard grip on the boy's wrist and continued his tickling attack without mercy.
"No, no Master! Please… please stop!" he managed to wheeze out between laughter, "No, not there! Master!"
The older man just chuckled and continued his assault, until tears escaped the younger males eyes. He eventually stopped however and Obi-Wan just laid on his back, trying to catch his breath. His eyes shone brightly and the green sparkled with hidden mischief. Not a moment later, a pillow hit the back of Qui-Gon's head.
"That, my dear Padawan, was a great mistake," he said in mock sternness. Obi-Wan's eyes widened and he quickly scrambled away and out of his Master's room.
The young Padawan was quick and agile, but Qui-Gon was not a Jedi Master for nothing. When he finally caught his little prey in the living room, he wrapped his arms around the younger man's middle and pulled the screaming and laughing child against his chest. The long haired Jedi chuckled before he gently nuzzled the younger male's neck with his nose, earning a few more giggles. He eventually lowered himself and Obi-Wan on the couch and the Padawan wriggled until he was laying with his form on Qui-Gon's chest.
"Comfortable?" Qui-Gon asked with one eyebrow raised when Obi-Wan rested his head in the crook of the taller man's neck.
Obi-Wan hummed in agreement and closed his eyes, content to stay exactly where he was.
"Love you, Master," he mumbled.
The older man just kissed the top of his Padawan's head and rolled his eyes in amusement, but eventually leaned back and closed his eyes as well. Life was good and if this was what fatherhood felt like, then Qui-Gon was more than contend to continue just like this. No matter what the Council or the Code said!
"Master?"
The older man looked over his shoulder at the young child that was obediently trotting behind him.
"Hm?" he acknowledged that he heard the young male.
"Are you alright?" came the mumbled reply.
Qui-Gon blinked a few times before he was able to form a reply, "I will be!"
Obi-Wan figured that it was better then nothing and stayed silent. Qui-Gon sighed mentally, he hated to lie to his apprentice, but he just did not want to talk about it.
He and Obi-Wan were currently returning from their unofficial mission to Telos. He had found information that Xanatos had been seen on his old home planet and he had immediately decided to investigate. Obi-Wan, the ever loyal Padawan that he was, had joined him in his hunt without hesitation.
But now that Xanatos was dead, killed by jumping in acrid water, Qui-Gon felt hollow, alone and depressed. He knew he shouldn't feel this way, especially when his reason for living was walking a few steps behind him, but the older Jedi Master couldn't help himself.
The Jedi Master half expected Obi-Wan to retort and to bring him to talk like countless other Jedi had tried before him, but to his surprise, the thirteen year old remained silent. Instead Qui-Gon felt a small hand sliding into his own and startled he looked down right into the serene face of his protégé. Qui-Gon was about to pull away, but hesitated when he recognised the look in Obi-Wan's eyes as understanding and sadness, not as pity. Immediately his grip tightened and he was even to gave his Padawan a sad smile.
"Everything is going be alright again, you'll see," Obi-Wan stated confident.
"Yes Padawan, it will," and for the first time since they started their journey, Qui-Gon actually believed that.
Qui-Gon groaned as he tried to sit up and not a moment later, a shadow moved to stand beside him. The Jedi Master blinked a few times until he could make out the identity of the shadow, who was fussing around him.
"Little one," he groaned, "stop the fussing, my head is getting dizzy."
Immediately the form of his apprentice stopped in his movement and gave his Master an irritated look, "With all due respect Master, I do not think my movement is the only thing causing you discomfort."
The older Jedi Master groaned in acknowledgement.
"Are you hungry?"
Qui-Gon hesitated before he answered. He knew he should eat something, since his body had been greatly weakened due to Jenna Zan Arbor's experiments, but the Jedi Master wasn't sure if his stomach could take it yet.
"I can make you a light soup, so not to upset your stomach... You have to get your strength back," Obi-Wan said knowingly and once more Qui-Gon wondered if he really was such an open book to the boy. "I just know you, Master," Obi-Wan laughed.
And with that he motioned Qui-Gon sternly to remain where he was, in the uncomfortable and warm bed on the shuttle he, Obi-Wan, Adi Gallia and Siri Tachi were currently travelling on and vanished probably into the kitchen.
A few minutes later, in which Qui-Gon forced his head to stop spinning, Obi-Wan returned with a steaming bowl in his hand. With more effort than he would admit, the older Jedi sat up and Obi-Wan immediately pushed a few pillows behind him.
The long haired man reached for the bowl, bit his apprentice moved it our of his reach.
He was about to protest, but Obi-Wan interfered, "Your hands are shaking Master. Let me help you."
Qui-Gon gruffly accepted his Padawan's help, who feed him spoon for spoon and partly Qui-Gon was highly embarrassed that he needed assistance in this.
"I am gladly doing this for you Master, there is nothing to be ashamed about. It's like all the time you cared for me when I was ill," Obi-Wan smiled, "Besides, I feel like I can repay you for all the things you have taught me."
Qui-Gon swallowed, "You don't have to repay me for anything. It was and still is my pleasure."
The smile he received could have melted all the ice on Illum.
Eventually Obi-Wan put the half eaten bowl away, Qui-Gon hadn't trust his stomach to hold more, and pushed away the pillows behind his Master's back, to take the spot himself. He manoeuvred the older so, that he was comfortingly leaning on him and began threading the long hair with his hands. Qui-Gon closed his eyes at the ministrations. Obi-Wan had always loved to brush or braid his Master's hair even though Qui-Gon had no idea why. He just let the boy do as he pleased and he would always wear proudly, what the boy had done. To Obi-Wan's credit, not once had it looked absurd or horrendous. But even if it had, Qui-Gon would have walked with the whole day.
Gentle and talented finger moved from the long strands to the older man's temples and started massaging them, causing Qui-Gon to moan in bliss. He could already feel the pain and dizziness fade and once more he wondered why his apprentice was so damn talented in everything he did. With that in mind, Qui-Gon let the darkness swallow him and he fell into a dreamless sleep.
"Master, it's alright!" mumbled Obi-Wan.
Qui-Gon just shook his head. How could his apprentice say that everything was alright when it clearly wasn't?
"Master, it is the will of the Force…"
"Damn the Force and damn the universe, it should be me instead!" Obi-Wan just smiled sadly at him.
How could the Force be so cruel? How could he loose yet another Padawan, his light, his son? Parents were supposed to outlive their children, not the other way around! But here they were now. Obi-Wan, his twenty-five year old apprentice laid wounded and bleeding in his Master's arms, his eyes turning duller and darker with each passing second.
His wonderful child was dying in his arms and Qui-Gon could do absolutely nothing about it!
"You can keep me company," Obi-Wan said. He had always had a talent for reading Qui-Gon's thoughts.
"You know I will, as long as you need me."
Obi-Wan hummed in agreement and Qui-Gon found himself once more cursing the Force, the whole universe and the Sith who laid slain a few feet away.
Obi-Wan had given his life in order to save that of his Master and the older man finally understood why attachment was forbidden. It just causes you too much pain.
"Don't let this cloud your judgement, father!" Qui-Gon opened his eyes again; he hadn't even noticed that he had closed them in the first place. "Attachment can cause you pain, I won't deny that, but it also brings joy, wouldn't you agree?"
"As always you are right, little one… still, it wasn't supposed to end like this!" he cradled the head of his young charge closer to his chest. The long Padawan braid rested between them. "You would have been a great knight, I know it. Sithspit, you have been so close!" Qui-Gon wasn't able to stop the first tears that escaped his eyes.
"Don't cry… I wouldn't have made it this far, without your guidance."
"I only showed you the path, you did the rest yourself."
A moment of silence passed between them.
"I am so sorry Padawan, for everything I said and did during this mission! I-"
He was interrupted by the ginger haired man, "You just did what you thought the Force has told you and what you thought was right… the boy is special, but I am not sure that he is really the chosen one," Obi-Wan's eyes had now a hint of blue in them and they looked as if Obi-Wan knew something that Qui-Gon didn't.
"He is, Obi-Wan, how can you explain our meeting and the medichlorian rate otherwise?"
The older wasn't sure they should discuss such things, when their time might be limited. The young man closed his eyes for a moment and took a few deep breathes. Qui-Gon could tell that breathing became more and more difficult for the younger male.
"That's… that's the man I got to know as my father! Stubborn… determined… until the end! But I won't… deny that his… and your future… are connected!" his smile looked strained.
"Open your eyes, little one."
Of course Obi-Wan obeyed, like the loyal and great Padawan he was, even though it took him a lot of strength.
"I will wait for you on the other side…"
Qui-Gon shook his head furiously and his free hand wiped away the tears that escaped stormy grey eyes.
"Just hold on a little longer, help is on the way!" he knew he sounded desperate.
"It's… too late… father."
"No, Obi-Wan! Just hold on, everything is going to be alright!" Qui-Gon started to sob in earnest now.
Obi-Wan looked up sadly at the man he saw as his father and with all his remaining strength, he lifted his arm and laid his hand on the older male's cheek, wiping away the tears that spilled free.
"Don't leave me," he sounded so broken and the ginger haired man had to swallow a big lump in his throat at that.
"I will… will never leave you! Even… even when I am not there… in body, I will… I will always be here…" he rested his hand on the older man's chest, right above his heart.
The long haired Jedi responded in clutching the smaller hand in his and holding it tight against his chest. He then leaned forward carefully and planted a small kiss between the younger man's brows, "I love you, little one. You are the son I never had."
The smile that greeted him, could have melted suns.
"Be careful, father... I know you'll do great… I believe in you and the Force does as well… I love you, father!"
With that the young man took his least breath, closed his eyes and became one with the Force.
Qui-Gon just continued to kneel there, holding the limp form of his fallen son to his chest and wept his loss. Not even the arriving healers could bring him to move, for he knew that it was already too late.
Obi-Wan was at a better place now, no doubt waiting for his Master and also looking out for him. At least that is what Qui-Gon wanted to believe.
"Wake up father!" sounded a strangely familiar voice above him.
Qui-Gon groaned and tried to swat away the hand that was shaking him.
"Come on father! Open your eyes… do it for me."
Qui-Gon knew this voice, but through the fog in his mind, he couldn't place it. He took a deep breath and eventually did as the voice told him to and the sight that greeted him, let his heart skipped a beat.
The most beautiful green-blue eyes in the universe greeted him, upon opening his own, as well as the most heart melting smile. He blinked a few times.
"Hello father."
"Obi-Wan!" he said breathless and reached up with a shaking hand.
Obi-Wan allowed the larger hand to cup his face, he even leaned into the touch. The young man, who still looked like the last time Qui-Gon had seen him, closed his eyes and smiled, before laying his own hands on the older Jedi's face.
"I have missed you!"
"I was never far away… don't tell me you didn't feel my presence every now and then."
Of course Qui-Gon had felt his son's bright presence. It had always appeared when a situation had looked utterly hopeless. Obi-Wan had been his light in the darkness then.
The young man smiled knowingly down at his Master and rested his forehead against the older man's, just like Qui-Gon had done so many years ago. The two of them just stayed like this for a few moments, in complete silence. Simply enjoying each other's touch, closeness and company, but eventually Qui-Gon had to ask, "I am dead then?"
"No, you are not," at the older man's questioning glance, he continued, "Your body still functions, but your soul is trapped in between the worlds."
"In between the worlds?" Qui-Gon asked confused.
"Your soul has still a rather strong connection with your body and that is why you are still connected to the world of the living. But you are so determined to die and to be with me again that a part of you has left your body to step into the world of the dead."
"You mean to step into the Force?"
Obi-Wan's smile looked forced, "Not quite, but I am not here to explain that to you… no, I am here to guide you back into your body, back where you belong!"
"But I belong here, with you. I have no right to go back."
"Why not?"
"I failed… I failed again! I failed you, the Jedi Order and the whole universe!"
"You did not fail, you-"
"How can you say that?" interrupted Qui-Gon harshly.
Startled Obi-Wan sat back on his heels and Qui-Gon slowly sat up, hiding his face and the few tears in his hands, "After all I've done… Anakin has fallen to the dark side, just like Xanatos did and you… I couldn't protect you, just as I couldn't protect my first Padawan! I am a failure, just a worthless and pathetic failure! I have done more harm than good, I-"
"Enough!" Qui-Gon was startled by the harsh exclamation and when he looked up, Obi-Wan had stood up and taken a step back. He continued with a calmer voice, "Now you are a worthless and pathetic failure, because you say those things."
The words hurt. "I do not deserve to live! Can't you see?" he asked, desperately hoping Obi-Wan would realise the truth.
Obi-Wan's eyes narrowed in anger and only now did Qui-Gon see that they had turned slightly yellow. He was turning and walking away from the older man.
"Obi-Wan, wait!" Qui-Gon shouted and struggled to get up as well, trying to follow the younger man, but he found himself unable to do so.
"You do not belong here, that's why you can't follow me," Obi-Wan replied coldly.
"I don't deserve to live… because of me, there is no hope left," he repeated weakly.
Obi-Wan abruptly stopped in his movement. He just stood there frozen for a moment, before he suddenly whirled around and threw something at Qui-Gon's feet. Startled the older Jedi Master looked down at the object. It was a small dagger. Quizzically Qui-Gon looked at his former apprentice.
"What are you waiting for then? End it right here and now! End it… and let my death be for nothing!" the coldness in the young man's voice caused a shiver to run down Qui-Gon's spine.
"Obi-Wan-" before he could say anymore, the young man had turned around again and suddenly vanished.
The tall Jedi looked down once more at the dagger, before he picked it up. It looked sharp and Qui-Gon carefully ran his thumb over the blade. He hesitated for a moment, but then let the dagger drop to the floor again.
"I can't…", he lowered his head in shame, causing his long hair to fall down in cascades and hide his face.
"Then there is still hope," the voice was undeniable Obi-Wan's, but it suddenly sounded older, deeper and very sad.
The tall and long haired Jedi Master whirled around when the voice sounded behind him, but against all expectations, he did not look at his twenty-five year old apprentice, but at a man in his mid thirties. He looked as if he had seen far too much for his age. He looked a lot like an older version of Obi-Wan and the eyes, the ocean blue eyes definitely belonged to the dead Padawan.
"Obi-Wan…" Qui-Gon stepped closer to the man before him, not yet daring to reach out.
The man looked up, "There is still hope!"
"The chosen one has fallen."
"Yes… and no!"
"What is that supposed to mean?" Obi gave him a mildly annoyed and partly amused look. Suddenly it hit him, "Anakin is not the chosen one!"
"He is only a part in a bigger scheme!"
"You are…"
"Yes… and no!" Obi-Wan shrugged.
Qui-Gon huffed in annoyance, "Could you please answer me without these ridiculous riddles?"
Obi-Wan's eyes sparkled in mischief. "I was the chosen one!" he eventually said, "But now there are others!"
"I don't understand," Qui-Gon admitted.
The ginger haired man suddenly stepped forward and gripped his arm, "The prophesy spoke of somebody who will bring balance to the Force, but it didn't say that it has to be just one person."
"You mean-" Qui-Gon's eyes lit up in realisation.
"Anakin and I WERE the chosen ones, you ARE the chosen one and Luke WILL BE the chosen one!" Obi-Wan nodded.
"Luke… Anakin's son!"
"Yes," confirmed the younger male.
"But the prophecy said that the chosen one would be born of the Force and without a biological father!"
"We are all born of the Force and the deliverer of the prophecy did not catch everything the Force told him."
"The older Jedi looked amazed and ran a hand through his hair, "So it is false?"
"Partly," he hesitated, "and therefore Anakin was only partly the chosen one, as is Luke… Luke has to be guided. He and his sister have a great future before them… they need you, or at least Luke needs you."
"Obi," he sighed, "little one, I can't!"
Obi-Wan's eyes narrowed again, but this time he reached out and gripped a few strands of the older man's hair and tugged hard on it.
"Ow, Obi-Wan, that hurts!"
"Good! Now you know how I felt when you tugged at my braid!" he scoffed and continued with a more serious tone, "Qui-Gon Jinn, you are seventy years old-"
"Sixty-nine!" Qui-Gon protested with earned him another hard tug, "Ow!"
"Start behaving like the wise man you are supposed to be!"
"I still have enough years to gain wisdom and-" too late did he realise that he had said exactly that, what Obi-Wan had wanted to hear.
"You have indeed and that's why you are going back now!" the ginger haired man let go of the long hair, which was starting to turn white. Instead he pulled the other male down so that their foreheads met. "You have done very well, you big and dumb oaf." Qui-Gon huffed at that, "I am very proud of you."
"When did the student become the teacher?" the older male asked fondly.
"Since the teacher behaves like he is in his midlife crisis."
Qui-Gon pouted and the younger man couldn't help himself, but to laugh out loud at the comical sight.
"I don't want to leave you, not again," the taller man suddenly said, his eyes downcast.
"Actually, the first time I left you so…" he paused and shook his head in amusement, "we will see each other again and I am always keeping an eye on you. The Force knows you will need it."
Qui-Gon smiled fondly at the older version of his former apprentice, before taking a hold of his head and planting a kiss between the younger man's brow, just like he did when Obi-Wan had laid dying in his arms.
"I love you, little one."
"And I you, father." Obi-Wan grinned.
Qui-Gon felt how he was being pulled back by an invisible force.
"Oh and Obi-Wan…"
"Yes?"
"The beard suits you."
The younger male rolled his eyes and grinned and his emerald green eyes were the last thing Qui-Gon saw, before he found himself back in his body on the temple floor, with a very worried Master Yoda kneeling over him.
"I told you everything would be fine!"
Qui-Gon Jinn former member of the Jedi Order turned around abruptly at the familiar voice.
He was greeted by the sight of a slightly transparent version of Obi-Wan. The man looked older than the last time they saw each other, but then again, Qui-Gon did too. Obi-Wan's hair was starting to turn grey and more wrinkles had appeared on his face, but the eyes, the steely blue-grey eyes were still the same and Qui-Gon immediately felt drawn to them.
"Obi-Wan!" Qui-Gon greeted his friend and son.
Obi-Wan chuckled and joined the taller Jedi on the balcony, "Naboo is still as beautiful as I remembered it!"
The older man nodded in agreement. He wanted to reach out to his former apprentice, yet he didn't dare, to afraid what would happen.
"Luke has grown, he will be a fine Master!" he turned his head to his former mentor, "But then again, he had one of the best examples."
"I wish it was so," mumbled the old Jedi, but Obi-Wan caught it nonetheless.
"I could not have wished for a better Master and neither could have Anakin, he told me so himself." Qui-Gon looked surprised at the man beside him. "He was destined to turn, even if Master Yoda had trained him, he would have turned. It needed to be done so that a better future might arise."
"You have spoken to Anakin?" Qui-Gon asked after a while.
"Yes, he greets you and he deeply regrets what he has done. He already went on, he is now reunited with his wife. Before I forget, Master Yoda delivers his blessing as well."
Qui-Gon nodded slowly and then turned from the view to walk back into the apartment he owned. He slowly sat down on the couch, Obi-Wan trailing closely behind him.
"You look tired," observed the ginger haired man.
"I feel tired… I fear I have grown old."
"And sentiment…" Obi-Wan chuckled at the pointed look he received, "But I fear I have to tell you that your time has not come yet." He stopped a short distance away from Qui-Gon's hunched position.
Qui-Gon sighed, "What else does the Force want me to do, before I can rest?"
"It wants you to see the great future you helped to create and it wants you to show the beauty of nature." Qui-Gon looked quizzically at his former apprentice, "In eight month, you will become the step-grandfather of a sweet little boy."
The older man immediately straightened up, eyes wide. "Don't tell that Leia…"
Obi-Wan's eyes shone green when he smiled and nodded. "Who would have thought, eh?"
"I am going to kill that damn smuggler!"
The ginger haired man looked stunned for a moment, before he broke into a fit of laughter.
Silence settled between them again and Qui-Gon was tiredly rubbing his eyes. "Can I touch you?" he asked hesitantly.
"Just one way to find out." And not a moment later, the old Jedi Master found himself with a lap full of a fifteen year old ginger haired boy, who sheepishly looked up at him. Immediately Qui-Gon enveloped him in his arms and the boy snuggled even closer.
"You should sleep," Obi-Wan gently pushed his Master back, until the man laid on his back on the couch, with his apprentice laying on his chest.
Obi-Wan began to slowly brush the long strand of hair with his fingers, like he used to do and Qui-Gon felt sleep claim him.
The next morning he was woken by an enthusiastic Leia, who told him about her visit with the healer…
With a pained grunt, Qui-Gon turned around on his comfortable bed. His body ached after an eventful day with the youngest member of the Skywalker and Solo family. Ben Solo was a little devil and apparently inherited his mother's Force sensitivity. Luke would start training his nephew soon, he had asked Qui-Gon for tips.
He groaned again and turned on his side, closing his eyes and silently cursing his old bones, when suddenly something soothing, warm and familiar wrapped around him from behind. Qui-Gon not even had to look to know who the visitor was.
"It's been a while," he said instead.
"Indeed father and I am glad to see you happy."
Qui-Gon was aware of the lessening pain in his bones and his body began to relax.
"Obi-Wan, you are a live-saver, son."
The man behind him chuckled, "I am glad to hear that."
Comfortable silence hang between them, but eventually Obi-Wan shifted and sat up, while grabbing the other man's hand.
"Obi?"
"It's time…" he trailed off, his blue eyes shining with unshed tears.
Qui-Gon nodded and sat up as well, feeling suddenly light and much younger again. Confused he looked at the man sitting next to him, but Obi-Wan was looking past him and when Qui-Gon turned to look, he was greeted by the sight of his own body.
"It's strange to look from this angle, isn't it?" Obi-Wan murmured quietly.
Qui-Gon nodded slightly, before he was pulled by his hand to stand up. The room around them began to vanish and was replaced by a bright light and Qui-Gon had to close his eyes for a moment. When he reopened them, he stood hand in hand with his thirty-five year old Padawan, whose green eyes looked fondly at him.
"I always preferred the natural colour of your hair."
Confused Qui-Gon took a few strands of hair into his hand and was surprised to see brown instead of white. "How?"
"The Force works in mysterious ways… that and this is how I like to remember you."
Qui-Gon nodded and decided to look around. His breath caught in his lungs – he wondered that he was breathing at all, since he was dead – when his eyes landed on the proud form of the Jedi temple, which was way bigger than its original had been.
"Since the beginning of time, every Jedi who died eventually found refugee here. To live and to be with those he lost and those who will come. I think you will like it here, I took the privilege to move you into my quarters."
Qui-Gon was speechless. Was this really what awaited everybody after death?
"Almost everybody, yes. Sidious for an instant is not here, but Dooku is, as are Anakin and Yoda and Thal and so much more."
"Obi, I am a little overwhelmed," the older man confessed.
Obi-Wan chuckled, "You will get used to it… now come, let's meet the others."
Qui-Gon could only nod and allowed the other man to pull him up the familiar stairs. His life had not turned out how he had wanted it, but Qui-Gon was confident that it could be now, especially since he and his son were finally united again and this time no one could separate them.
