Surprises and Tears

I looked into the mirror and sighed. It was my birthday and I was turning 15. I didn't feel 15, though. My breasts were still small, my voice shrieked a lot, and my period still wasn't on a set schedule.

In fact, it had been three months since my last period. The last time had been two weeks before…Oh my God! The last time had been before James and I had sex! Even though…even though…James had used a condom…

I took a deep breath. I couldn't be pregnant. I couldn't…But, just in case, I had to go buy a pregnancy test. To soothe my nerves and to prove to myself that I wasn't pregnant.

I walked out of my room and got to the door. I yelled that I was going to go buy a pack of charcoal pencils. "Alright, be back in time for your party, Ellen," my mom yelled back. I went out of my family's apartment and went down to the lobby in the elevator.

Holding the bag with the pregnancy test, I walked back to the apartment building.

"Hey, Ellen!" I turned around, with a look of terror on my face. I was so afraid of getting caught. Then my face relaxed.

"James! What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in Germany!"

He chuckled as I tried to shift my bag from view. "I'm here for your birthday, silly! Because I love you!"

Then he saw the bag. "Hey, Ellen, what've you got there?"

I froze. My heart was pounding so loudly that I'm sure James could hear it. "I-it's…female things."

A look of understanding came upon his face, "Ah, gotcha," and he winked. "Well, let's walk back to your apartment together, Ellen." He took my hand and we walked all the way to the building and then got into the elevator.

"So…" I said, strained. "Find any new girls in Germany? Any that you really like?"

Yeah, I was really jealous. But I had told him to forget about me. So, yeah.

He stared at me long and hard. Then, he finally spoke after what seemed like forever.

"Ellen, after living in Germany for these long three months, I've realized something. Something really important. I know it's going to sound cliché, but…Ellen, you're the only girl for me. I will love you always and forever. And I…I want to marry you someday."

For a minute, I was stone still. Then, with renewed energy, I dived into him, tears in my eyes. "Oh, James! I love you too!"

He smiled. "I know. And like I've always said, 'When you grow out of it, you'll break my heart'.

We got into my family's apartment and I went into the bathroom. I told James I'd be right out, but I don't think he heard me. He was already catching up with my older brother, Link.

When I stepped inside the bathroom, I locked the door and did the pregnancy test. When I was done, I silently moved into my bedroom and slipped the test onto my desk. That way no one would see it but me.

After dinner, James made me play a board game with everyone. The pregnancy test was always in the forefront of my mind. I don't even remember what game we played or even who won. All I remember is the shocking news that came next.

"Come on, Ellen, show me your current drawings in your room."

My head snapped up. "No! You can't go in there!" I tried to block him, but he was too strong. He was, after all, a freshman in college and I was only a sophomore in high school.

"What, do you have nude drawings of me or something?" he joked.

When he got into the room, he looked all about for the secret item I did not want him to see. Then, finally, he saw the pregnancy test on my desk. His face told me that he knew what it was at once.

"Ellen…" He picked it up, and he almost dropped it after seeing it up close. "Ellen, you're…" I looked at it and almost passed out.

It was positive.