It would never last.

But it was never meant to.

They weren't in love; it was never about that. It was about understanding, and the undeniable connection between them.

The sex was usually unapologetically violent. Sollux was happy to throw the clown about and hit him when the mood struck, and Gamzee had a tendency to leave his friend covered in blood. It made the secret hard to keep, but they dealt. The euphoria of clashing together, the emotional release that came with the sexual one, was all they had to soothe themselves with when the voices grew and the urges took over.

Tonight it was Sollux who initiated it, as it was the first time. A pounding sound compelled Gamzee to leave his room and drift to the door, joint still hanging from the corner of his mouth. When he opened it, he was greeted with a fist, sent directly into his stomach, so thin that it would be concave if not for the muscles. The jay dropped from his lips, tapping softly as it hit the wooden floor, as Gam stumbled back, reaction slightly delayed. Sollux ground it beneath his black sneaker as he stepped inside, shutting the door and backing the taller man up against a wall. Gamzee grinned, rubbing his tummy, "Hey Sol. What did you up and motherfucking hit me for?"

The beekeeper bared his teeth in return, grabbing a fistful of Gamzee's wild, dark hair and yanking so that he could look into his eyes. "You already know." Sol growled quietly before closing the short distance between their lips. The druggie attempted to remember if this was manic or depressive, but his fogged brain had never fully grasped the concepts. He couldn't even understand his own malfunction, how could he possibly comprehend that of someone else? He didn't worry about it too much though, because he knew that they were alike. That was all that mattered.

Sollux brought him back out of his head by pulling his hair so hard that he was forced to break their kiss. Gamzee opened his eyes to find Sollux staring at him with a funny look in his eyes. His mood had already swung and he sunk down to his knees, whispering, "I'm thorry Gamthee."

The Capricorn patted his head, making soothing noises. For a few moments, the bipolar boy was still and silent. Then he knocked his companion's hand away, rolling up Gam's faded purple shirt to confront the bruise beneath it. It was just beneath the clown's ribcage on the left side. Guilt flashed in his dichromatic eyes before he closed them, leaning in, and kissing the mark. Gamzee giggled at first, amused, but he quickly grew uncomfortable as the kisses kept coming, not used to affectionate displays from the hacker. He coughed to let him know that he should stop. The kneeling man glared up at him. "Fuck you."

"Isn't that what you motherfucking came here for?"

"Oh that'th it!" Sollux stood and grabbed Gamzee, shoving him into the back of the couch. The ever-graceful Capricorn landed face first, smearing his grease paint across a cushion, his long legs dangling off the back. The Gemini leaned over him, wrapping his arms around him and digging his nails into the bruise, causing the druggie to wince and clench his jaw. The bee lover only grinned, pulling away just to slam his elbow into his friend's spine. Gamzee could not hold back the grunt of pain as his back arched under the force. Desire grew in lisping boy's abdomen. He pressed himself against Gamzee, dragging his forked tongue down his spine, making the tall boy shiver. Then he stepped away. The clown stood and turned to face him, asking "What the motherfuck did you all and stop for, bro? That felt g—"

Sollux cut him off with a kiss, growling softly and grinding into him. The wild-haired boy wrapped his arms around the computer whiz, opening his mouth with his strong tongue to slide it lazily through the split in his partner's. The Gemini groaned and pressed harder, clacking their teeth together, asserting dominance. Gamzee bit his tongue defiantly and was pushed down. The clown only smiled up at his abuser, earning himself a kick in the shoulder. The beekeeper removed his shirt, smirking at the way the rich boy watched him out of both fear and desire.

Gamzee would never admit it, but Sollux knew that the pain turned him on, the little masochist. He saw the way his pants grew tight when he beat on him. Even when he was sober and sadistic, he wanted to feel the pain. It was a part of who he was, and no part of him was ever truly gone.

Sollux removed his belt, undid his pants, and sat on the couch, waiting. The addict came over and kneeled before him, leaning in and kissing down his chest, making him chuckle softly as he closed his eyes. Long, slender fingers slid into his waistband, the unkempt nails scratching him softly, making him shiver as his pants and boxers were slid down. He felt the warm wetness of Gamzee's mouth as the Capricorn dipped his head down and wrapped his lips around the head. He felt the gentle scraping of those sharp teeth as Gamzee took him in, all the way. He didn't even gag on it as it slid into his throat like he did in the beginning. Sollux smiled his approval as the wild-haired young man bobbed his head and sucked, his long tongue caressing in a strange and wonderful dance.

It wasn't long before Sollux growled and pulled Gamzee back by his hair, flipping him around and bending him over the glass coffee table. He wanted more. He wanted to see the rich bitch artist crying and moaning and arching, thrusting on him desperately. He yanked those god-awful polka dot pajama pants down off of his skinny clown ass, kicking his legs apart and kneeling between them. He pushed himself inside, making the tall boy groan and whimper. He thrusted slowly until he found a good rhythm then sped up, unconcerned for the Capricorn's comfort. Soon he was ramming into him forcefully, wildly, making him go crazy. The druggie was moving against him, arching and panting until he grabbed his hips and held them still, making the grown man whine. The bee lover chuckled low in his throat as he pounded into him.

The table cracked, but Sollux took no notice. Gamzee tried to say something, but he could only moan the shorter man's name, over and over. Nothing else would come out. It only urged the Gemini on, and the table shattered. The Capricorn caught himself, but his arms gave out after only a few seconds. Sollux readjusted himself, but then kept going. This wasn't the first time they ever broke something. It wouldn't be the last. After Sollux came, Gam fell on his side in the shards: arms, face, neck, chest, and now side and left leg covered in nicks and cuts. The hacker leaned back against the couch, panting, eyes closed.

After a few minutes, he opened them and smiled at Gamzee, pulling his limp form up out of the glass and into his arms. He was still hard. The gemini rested his head in the crook of his friend's neck, wrapping his fingers around his bulge. He bit and sucked on his shoulder gently as he brought him to climax, leaving a dark hickey, complete with teeth marks. The clown papped him and shooshed softly, "You feelin' better, bro?"

"Yeth."