Title: Kind of Pregnant
Author: GageWhitney
Rating: T
Pairing: Nick/Jess
Disclaimer: Very much not mine.
Summary: "You kind of are, or you are?"
Note: I don't really know where this came from, but I thought it would be better if it finally got off my hard drive. Set, obviously, at some point in the future.
Jess waits until Schmidt and Winston go to the gym before standing on shaky legs in the doorway of Nick's bedroom. "We need to talk," she says quietly.
"Words no man wants to hear, ever," he sighs, distracted by his video game.
"No, I mean we really, really have to talk."
He glances up and can see that she's being serious for once, so he puts the game on pause and faces her fully. "What's up?"
"I'm… kind of pregnant." She grimaces and waits for his reaction.
He stares, dumbfounded, for a moment. "You kind of are, or you are?"
"Are. Pregnant," she says, and shakes her head, rolling her eyes at herself. "Am. I am pregnant."
He opens and closes his mouth, but all he can do is look at her, wide-eyed.
"I know!" she cries.
"I mean… Wow, Jess."
"Yeah. This is, like… whoa! Dude," she says. She fans her face with both hands. "I mean, right? We only just started doing… stuff… like, barely two months ago! Did it happen the first time or something? How could that have even happened? We used things!"
"Did you not take sex ed class in high school?"
"You know what I mean. I just… I was not expecting this." She breathes deeply in and out. "This is intense. And I'm kind of freaking out over here, and you're way too calm."
"I think I'm in shock," he says, a hand going to his chest. "I'm sure I'll freak out later."
"Promise?"
"Sure, Jess." He blows out a breath. "You're sure?"
"Well…" She crosses her arms over her chest and taps her foot on the floor. "Not for sure, for sure. But I know."
He narrows his eyes. "Did you take a test?"
"Not yet. But I'm, like, really late. And I'm never late," she assures him.
"Okay, Jess, you know what?" He's already on his feet and reaching for his keys. "I'm going to run down to the drugstore and get a pregnancy test, and you can take it, and then we'll know for sure. Okay?"
"Yeah. Okay," she nods.
He stops on his way past her and kisses her forehead. "Don't worry. It'll be okay."
The test is supposed to take three minutes, but it's been seven and she's still in there.
"Jess!" He raps on the door lightly. "Come on, what's it say?"
The door slowly opens and she looks out at him, eyes big and blue and freaked the hell out. She's holding the pregnancy test and waggling it between two fingers.
"There's a plus sign," she says quietly.
"So you're pregnant?"
"Looks like it's official. See?" She waves the stick at him. "Plus sign. Holy crap, there's, like, really a plus sign on here."
"I see it." He ducks away from her hand when she gets too close. "Um, that's a stick you just peed on?"
"Yeah? So?"
"So, can you just throw it away and stop waving it around?"
"Yeah," she huffs. She tosses it in the trashcan.
"And wash your hands?"
"Yeah." She turns on the faucet and pumps soap into her hands.
He watches her go through the motions of washing up, her mind clearly elsewhere. "Jess, are you okay?"
"Yeah," she says again. She splashes cold water on her face and presses her fingers to her eyes. "I just feel like I might throw up. And I don't know if it's because I'm really scared and nervous or if it's because I'm a pregnant lady now."
He watches her reflection in the mirror. "It's going to be all right, you know," he tells her. He puts his hands on her shoulders and squeezes, trying to reassure her. "I mean, yeah, it's a shock, and we weren't planning on this, but you know what?"
"What?" She turns to face him, tears forming in the corners of her eyes.
"We're going to have a kid," he says. He smiles about the situation for the first time, and he looks so pleased and hopeful that she smiles back.
"What are we going to tell Schmidt and Winston?" she says later, lying next to him on her bed.
He shrugs. "The truth. They're going to find out eventually anyway, you know?"
"Are we going to keep living here with them?"
"Yeah, why not? We can move into one room and put the kid in the empty room." He plays with her hair, running his fingers mindlessly through the thick strands.
"What if we're terrible parents?" she says quietly.
"Are you kidding? We're going to be awesome parents."
"Everyone says that!" she cries, sitting up. "But what if we really are terrible parents? And we mess the kid up and they hate us and, like, join a gang and steal cars and get arrested? And we're at the trial and they're, you know, pointing, and saying, 'It's your fault, mom and dad!'"
He raises an eyebrow. "Jess. Do you really think that's something that's actually going to happen? Seriously?"
"It could!" She flops back onto the bed with a huff.
"Relax," he says, rubbing her arm. "We'll be great."
"How do you know?"
"Because… look at the great job we did raising Schmidt. He's almost normal now."
She snorts and giggles. "That's true, we haven't had to use the Douchebag Jar in months."
"See? That's what I'm talking about." He crooks an arm around her neck and draws her closer, hugging her to his body. "This is going to be great," he says, pressing a kiss into her hair.
"Yeah," she smiles. "I think it will."
