A/N: Hi everybody. I already said in "When life gives you lemons, deal with it" that I'm going to camp. Tomorrow. So, my friend begged and begged for me to type up this story I wrote in Science class the other day. I finally remembered to type it up, so here it is!

BEWARE: This is an AizenxOC TOTAL CRACK FIC! YAAAAY! Another thing, if you don't understand some of it, it's probably an inside joke between me and my friends. One more thing, my friend was originally the OC in this story, but I changed her name for personal purposes.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of it's characters. They all belong to Tite Kubo.

How to defeat Aizen 101

A lone girl stood in front of a pair of giant white doors in a giant white hallway. This girl's name was Melissa, Missy for short. And she needed to defeat the man sitting beyond the double doors. She needed to defeat Aizen Sousuke.

Taking in one last breath, Missy walked towards the doors. She pushed on them with all her might. They slowly opened to reveal a large room with Aizen on a large throne in the middle.

"Aizen," the man's name hissed out of Missy's mouth.

"My, my, you got here faster than I had expected. You truly must be powerful. Hehe, come Melissa Katen. Come and help me take down Soul Society."

"Why the hell would I do that!?" Missy bursted out.

"Oh, how I do hate profanities…" Aizen said. Missy started to growl and a deep purple aura surrounded her.

"Summoning Art #92: Joel the Mighty!!" Missy screamed out. The room flashed purple and a man stood before Missy.

The man known as Joel the Mighty began to charge at Aizen,"Oooolololololo!!!"

Aizen was barely able to jump to the side as his throne was cut in half by Joel's sword.

Aizen was shocked,"H-how did you do that? It was completely unorganized! Don't tell me you just came here without some sort of plan…?"

Missy just smirked,"You hit it right on the spot. I'm not one to plan ahead."

"How absurd! It's obvious that everything requires very careful and precise 157 year long plans!"

Missy's smirk grew,"Think again!"

Missy charged at Aizen, sword in hand,"How do you think I beat Ulquiorra?"

She let out a chuckle and snaped her fingers. The first espada, Stark, appeared before Missy.

"Stark…!!"

"Sorry, Aizen-sama, but Missy's just so much more fn to hang around"

Missy held out her hand and Stark made some sort of jabbing motion right above it. A blue orb of energy formed in her hand.

"Rasangan!" Missy helled out, jabbing Aizen in the stomach.

"That's completely illogical! That attack isn't even from this show!"

"You're confused, Aizen. Do you want to know why I can do all of this? It is becaue I," Missy whispered into Aizen's ear with a deathly voice,"am Kira."

Aizen let out a scream and feinted in shock. He woke up in his abnormally large bed.

"So it was all just a dream," Aizen said to himself, sweat dripping from his face. At that moment, he hear the words,"Think again."

Aizen's face went deathly pale.

A/N: Soooo…… yeah…… that's my story. I remember my friend asked me to write that about two weeks ago because she said I was good at writing. So, I wrote this for her and she cracked up. I also showed it to my other friends, and they all loved it. I hope you all liked it!