Okay so I know this is starting to get really overdone, but I couldn't stop myself! I am in love with Sugar Motta, and I'm not ashamed of it. I have also been a Rory-stan since his first appearance, so I thought this might be really fun! Flanamotta, anyone? ;)
What is the deal with Lima, Ohio anyway?
I mean, first thing I do when I get to this insignificant part of the world is try out for a glee club and get instantly rejected! Do the people here, like, have no souls or something? In comes an adorable and honest (traits I get from my parents, no doubt) little freshman girl and they have the nerve to tell me not to consider singing again - ever. What the hell, bro?
Okay, so I know I'm not the best singer in the entire world and, yeah, okay, I might've come off as a little "rude" to the current members, but they couldn't at least let me sway in the background and raise group moral? I've decided that, besides its record-breaking 7-11 that sells more slushies annually than any in the world, Lima, OH sucks pretty badly.
But there's not much I can do. I came here on a mission. Because if I don't stop that damn Irish kid from pursuing Mom, or encourage Finn to help Mama come out of the closet, or find a way to stop the school jocks from torturing the glee club, or make sure that Mom finds the "I'm Sorry" cupcake that Mama makes for her on Valentine's Day, or, okay, a lot of other stuff, then there's a very high chance that I will not be born, and that is not a road I would like to go down. Also, I know how much my mothers love each other, and it would absolutely break my heart to find out that they didn't end up together. They are soul mates; there's no way around it.
Except there is one way around it... And he goes by the name of Rory Hummel. Let me tell you a little story about Rory Hummel:
First thing you need to know is that we absolutely detest each other. In sixth grade, a rumor went around that we were dating. Silly, right? We're practically cousins, and the only reason I hung out with him so much is because our parents have been friends forever, and I grew up around him. But Rory made it his life mission to dispel these rumors. Because the idea of dating me seemed oh, so terrible that he had to go in front of the entire student body during an assembly and claim I was the last person on Earth he would ever, ever date. Ever since then, we've been... not the best of friends.
So anyway, this year Rory gets into a fight with some kid named Sebastian about who knows what, and Sebastian goes back in time to make sure Rory never gets adopted from Ireland or something so he'll never have to deal with him. I don't know all the details, but I do know that Rory somehow manages to get his hands on his own time machine and follows Sebastian back to make sure his parents doget together and adopt him and yada yada.
Okay, but here's the part where I come in. When Rory gets back to when his dads were in high school, he has time to spare. Sebastian is no where in sight. His parents are together and in love, and he's bored. So what does he do? He goes over to myMom! Who does that?
I can't stand the idea, so I go back to try and make sure that my parents do get together (and I'm the smart one here because I go back to before Rory even shows up - I'm a genius, what can I say?). But once I change one thing, everything else changes with it. Now I'm stuck here until I can make sure that Brittany Pierce and Santana Lopez get together and stay that way. And I physically can not go home until I am 100% sure, because I might not even exist.
That is just the thing with time - it messes everything up.
"So guess who did herself a little research?" I say, sitting down next to Rory at lunch in the cafeteria. I still can't believe schools used to actually look like this... It's disgusting.
"Did you find yourself a new set of adopting lesbos to call Mummy?" Rory asks, rolling his eyes and biting down into his roast beef sandwich. I can smell the calories wafting from its excessive mayonnaise. "'Cause I'm debating having sex with your Mum. Possibly knocking her up in the meantime, yeah?"
"That is a horrid image, and I would drink bleach if it would get it out of my mind," I pretend to gag, but really... ew! "You do realize that'll be like sleeping with your Godmother, right?"
Rory nods, pausing with his sandwich halfway in his mouth. "It will be sleeping with my Godmother. My very attractive and sexually experienced Godmother."
And then I get the worst thought ever, and that is picturing Rory anywhere near the vagina I was birthed from. I practically do gag this time.
"Listen Sugar," he says, turning to me. "I really can't be seen with you. I mean, you're in the Troubletones and my best buddy, Finn's in the NewDirections.That's kind of a taboo here, I get."
"Your accent is weird," I say, because the Rory I know only lived in Ireland for three years, but coming back in time means temporarily erasing your own future, and he therefore would've lived in Ireland his whole life, picking up a very strong accent.
He takes a bite of his roast beef and shrugs. While chewing his food, he begins again. "You gonna tell me what your research was or let me eat my 2011 Lunch in peace?"
I had almost forgot about my research until he'd mentioned it, but now I am once again thrilled because this is sure to remind Rory why he'd come back to this time period in the first place. "Right! So I looked around for a Sebastian Smyth, and while none is enrolled in this school, there is a 'transfer' that is going to Dalton Academy in Westerville, Ohio. I'm sure you've heard of it." I try not to smile, because I want to feel badass and slick and stuff, but I can't help it. Rory's face is priceless.
"Dad's old school," he says, half of the chewed up food in his mouth falling onto his lap.
I nod with a slight shrug. "And I mean, no big deal or anything, but I talked to Uncle Blaine today... Well, actually, I more or less forced it out of him in our AP US History class where we were quite strategically paired up in a group assignment. But anyway, he says that he's going to take a trip there next week to invite them to the school play. Do you think he'll meet Sebastian?"
Rory sets his sandwich down and raises his palms to place them over his face. He shakes his head and takes a deep breath. "I'm so sorry, Sugar." He sets his hands down, and I can see the anxious feeling on his face. "I'll leave Aunt Brittany alone, I swear. Do you think you can help me out with keeping my dads together?"
I stand up, but place one hand on Rory's shoulder. "I'd love to help you, kid. But I really need to focus on bigger, and more important things. You know, like, creating the best all-female glee club ever."
Rory sighs, and for a minute, I feel bad for the guy. I really do love my uncles, but I had things to get done!
"How about this?" I say. "If you can get my moms to join the Troubletones, I'll consider helping you out with Sebastian. Deal?"
It takes a moment, but he eventually nods. "Actually," he states, kind of solemnly. "Auntie Tana already kind of made the same request. I'm sure they'll be joining in no time."
I grin widely and excitedly. "Yes!"
"She's even more scary here than she is at home, by the way," Rory adds, and I laugh when I think about how Mama is always very determined to get her point across.
"Thanks, Rory Flanagan. See ya!" I say, using his fake last name, and then I turn around, place my textbook on my head and start walking to class. I should really just go home now, but I do want to help Rory out. Even if I do hate him with everything in me, he deserves to be happy as well. Not as happy as me, of course, because I do love watching him struggle, but happy enough. And able to go home, of course. Even though his life doesn't depend on it, something can always go terribly wrong, causing him to be stuck in this era forever. I shudder at the thought.
A/N: Thanks for reading! Sorry for any mistakes; I wrote this so fast and didn't have a beta. (It's also really weird to write in first person AND present tense - two things I hardly ever do.) Reviews are lovely, as always!
