DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN GUNDAM
Warning: Disturbing and offensive humor
SUPER SKITTLE SQUAD SPECIAL
"A WORLD CREATED BY GUNMA KISARAGI IS AN UNFAIR WORLD. EVERYTHING MAY LOOK PRETTY BUT THE BULLSHIT SCENARIO WILL DRIVE YOU INSANE. OH SINCE WE'RE BEING ALL NON SEQUITUR HERE, I WOULD LIKE TO TELL EVERYONE THAT I HAVE FINALLY SUBJECTED MYSELF TO THE HORROR KNOWN AS…BOKU NO PICO. MASTER OF AMBIGUITY INDEED, YOU LITTLE BASTARD. OH AND THIS IS PROBABLY THE LONGEST CHAPTER TITLE I MADE"
CELESTIAL BEING MOTHERSHIP
LIVING ROOM
4:45 P.M.
Ribbons Almark, the green-haired Innovade or Innovado or whatever they're called, is sitting on his favorite couch and watching television. His cat, a fat two year old male Birman, is lazily lying on his lap. With a bored look on his face, Ribbons flipped through the channels, looking for something interesting to watch but it seems the idiot box is not showing anything worthy to spend his whole afternoon with. He was about to give up when he came across a shoujo anime and his eyes lit up with interest.
"Ishikawa-senpai!" The heroine of the show, who is disguised as a boy in order to attend a prestigious all-boys school for rich people, entered a small garden and saw the love of her life: a beautiful young man with long blonde hair. His name was Renzou Ishikawa and of course, in shoujo anime fashion, he was the most popular boy in school. Students and teachers alike worshipped him. He was an idol and everyday he receives a ton of love letters. Oh and let me remind everyone that this is an all-boys school. Rich boys with sparkling feminine features that will make all the girls squeal like raving idiots.
"Ah Kuroda-kun…" Renzou smiled at the girl while holding a rose. "So you finally found my secret garden. Goodness, you're such a naughty boy." He giggled and it's quite obvious here that he doesn't know her true gender thanks to her not so convincing disguise. I mean this chick has a huge rack and they're sticking out like a sore thumb. Heck, a five year old kid would easily notice that this love struck girl is pretending to be a boy and…uh…never mind! Maybe Ishikawa is that stupid but that's okay, he's rich and beautiful. We silly commoners should just shut the BLEEP up and move on with our stinking lives.
"Ishikawa-senpai!" Kuroda knelt before him. "I have something to tell you." She blushed. "I know we've been room mates for only six months but-
"Hush, my adorable Kuroda-kun." He said playfully and touched her cheek. "Don't say a word. I know all about your feelings so don't say a word. I know everything. I know about your undying love for me. I mean I'm beautiful and rich so I know all about these things." The narcissistic bastard said.
"Ishikawa-senpai!" She hugged him tightly. "I love you! I love you so much!"
"Kuroda-kun!" He hugged her back. "Pour out your feelings for me, Kuroda-kun! Pour them all out! Your feelings and mine are…uh…what the fudge!?" He suddenly felt something soft pressing to his chest and he realized Kuroda has boobies. "Are these breasts?" He asked her, completely horrified.
"Yes…" She nodded. "I'm actually a girl. I pretended to be a boy so I can enroll here. I did it so I can get close to you, Ishikawa-senpai. Now that you have accepted my feelings, senpai, I can finally show my true self to you. I'm so happy! Oh my beloved Ishikawa-senpai, you have-
"Bitch, get the hell away from me!" He pushed her away. "I thought you were a guy. A really cute guy. I mean the reason you look feminine because you're actually a girl! So, Shiro Kuroda isn't your name then?"
"No…it's Shinobu Kuroda." She answered and lowered her head.
"Oh this is so humiliating!" He gasped. "Deke! Jerry! Come to me, my faithful bodyguards!"
"Renzou-sama!" Two large muscular men suddenly appeared behind the girl. Both of them are completely naked and their private parts are thankfully covered by a mosaic.
"Take this wench away and sell her to those girls at Maria-sama ga Miteru."
"As you command, Renzou-sama!" They both saluted.
"Iyaaaaaaaaah!!!" She cried out as they drag her away.
CLICK! Ribbons quickly changed the channel. "Holy fudge almighty!" He said in disgust. "What the hell was that? Is this what pass for shoujo anime nowadays? I gotta find something interesting to watch or else the boredom will kill me for sure."
"Meow." His cat purred.
"That's right, Nibbles. This is a fight against boredom so we better get our butts on gear."
"Meow."
"Here we go." He twirled the remote and proceeded to channel surf.
"Welcome to Celestial Bingo!" The announcer of the show…uh…announced. "Now before we start the game, let us all welcome our special guest: Echo Calore! He is a member of Fereshte and he's probably the only Gundam Meister that doesn't have any balls! Wait, are you even a Meister? I think Fon Sparks is Fereshte's only active Meister and you're only the errand boy who do the groceries and shit. I read the manga and you're like really…uh…worthless. I mean you suck! You really, really, really suck. Go eat shit, you worthless prick."
"H-H-Hey!"
"Oh shut up, you little shit. You want me to give you a bitch slap, bitch? I bet you touch yourself every night while thinking of Chall. Wait, I mean you touch yourself while thinking of Sherilyn Hyde, you dirty bastard. You're a freaking lolicon! You're no Ped Comet so go rape a monkey!"
CLICK!
"…suspect is believed to be a hater of Allenby Beardsley." The news reporter…uh…reported. A murder has taken place inside a diner. A man was shot death while eating his lunch. Behind the reporter are several police officers eating donuts and drinking coffee. Somehow the cops aren't so enthusiastic about doing their job so they just decided to goof off at the crime scene. "Because when the victim said that he loved the manga adaptation of G Gundam, the suspect went nuts and repeatedly shot him in the chest. I, for one, think this is appalling. I mean how could you hate Allenby? She is so-
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! The killer returned and shot the reporter three times. "Rain Mikamura forever!" He shouted and ran away. The cops just paused for a moment and then continued what they were doing, as if nothing happened.
"Oh crap!" The reporter lies dying on the floor. "Hey Rick!" He called out for the cameraman. "Cut the feed dammit! I'm dying here and I'm bleeding like a broken bottle of ketchup. Look if I die here while you continue running the camera then you officially created a snuff film! Why are you laughing, you bastard? What? You also like Rain Mikamura? Oh BLEEP you, Rick! BLEEP you! I hope you get raped by a-
"Hey I'd like to order a cheeseburger and a glass of milkshake please." A customer entered the diner and stepped on the dying reporter. "Oh and maybe a slice of pecan pie for dessert…uh…wait…hmm…maybe I'll go for some apple pie instead."
CLICK!
"Welcome to Neo America's favorite music talent show! Our next contestant is ZAFT's very own pink princess, Lacus Clyne, and she's accompanied by two Soul thingies or Reapers or something from Soul Society."
"Just say Shinigami, you dumb fudge!" One of the judges cried out. "Oh and not all Shinigamis came from Soul Society! Also, what the hell is this? Another episode of Full Moon o Sagashite?"
"Hey take a chill pill, jackass." The announcer shot back.
"No, you're the one who needs to take a chill pill, you asshole."
"Up yours!" He gave him the finger. "I'm the one who's running this show, not you."
CLICK!
"Pizza Hut! Pizza Hut! Pizza Hut!" It was a commercial for Pizza Hut. "If you love Code Geass then you better love Pizza Hut. Don't be like those silly Britannians and join the rebellion. Also, don't make Zero use the Geass on you, buddy! So you better jack that ass up and go to your nearest Pizza Hut establishment and enjoy our very yummy products. Also, if you buy ten pizzas, you'll get the new Kallen plushie doll."
CLICK!
"This is a special public service announcement from the Principality of Zeon. Gihren-
CLICK!
"Welcome to another episode of Kappa Mikey!"
CLICK! CLICK! CLICK! CLICK!
"The Bright slap! Turning emo girly boys into manly pilots since 1979!"
CLICK!
"Athrun!" Cagalli entered the room and was shocked to see her husband, Athrun Zala, in bed with Meyrin Hawke and Kisato Yamabuki from Gundam SEED Astray. "How could you?"
"I can explain, Cagalli!"
"I understand Meyrin but Kisato? I thought Morosawa and Fukuda didn't know the existence of the SEED Astray side stories. Oh Athrun, you're such a bastard!" She sobbed and ran out of the room.
CLICK!
"Now once more with feelings." Setsuna F. Seiei squeezed Feldt Grace's boobies.
"Kyaaaaah!!!" She moaned. "Don't squeeze too hard, you idiot! Stop it! Please stop this at once!"
"Shipping, shipping, shipping, shipping!"
"Setsuna, what are you doing!?" Saji Crossroad appeared and tried to pull him away from the girl. "Knock it off! Get a grip on yourself, Setsuna! If you don't stop this then-
"Set-chan! How could you betray me!?" Nena Trinity also appeared and zapped Saji's ass with a taser.
"Man, this is such a drag." Ribbons finally turned off the television. "Nibbles, how am I gonna spend the afternoon now? There's nothing good on TV anymore and I'm too cheap to get cable."
"Meow."
"Egads! You're right, Nibbles. You truly are my pet. Okay, let's start the-
"Ribbons Almark." Regene Regetta came out from the kitchen. "If you're bored then how about you help me prepare supper. It's supposed to be your turn today and-
"Oh put a sock in it, Regene."
"Meow."
"Yeah, you tell him, Nibbles."
"…"
"Like I said before, Regene. I'm the only one Aeolia created. The rest of you were then created by me afterwards so that means I'm your master and you are my bitch. Now that we're clear, I suggest you go back to the kitchen and make me some supper, bitch."
"RIBBONS ALMARK!!!" Regene slapped him on the face.
"You hit me!?" Ribbons was surprised. "Even Papa Aeolia never hit me!"
"You've become a lazy slob after the anime ended. Just sitting on your ass all day, watching TV and groping your cat or something. Oh and I thought you hate Amuro Ray jokes?"
"I hate it when other people do it but if I'm the only one who's cracking the jokes then why the hell not?"
"You're an idiot."
"Yeah? Well your whole grand plan of backstabbing the big daddy villain was nothing but anticlimactic bullshit." He shot back. "Victim of bad writing? Character derailment perhaps?"
"…"
"Meow."
"Yeah, you tell him, Nibbles."
"I see…" Regene adjusted his glasses. He then took out a pistol and shot Nibbles in the head.
"NIBBLES!!!" Ribbons screamed in anguish. "Why? How could you do such a thing, Regene?"
"I…I…I dunno! I guess something came over me and…oh God. Wait, I'm just following the Gundam 00 tradition of head shots! Yeah, that's right! The Gundam 00 head shot tradition! I mean Hong Long got shot in the head. Ali-Al Saachez got shot in head. Tieria Erde got shot in the head. YOU got shot in the head…well…uh…I mean a clone of you got shot in the head. So now, Nibbles got shot in the head. The Gundam franchise has a long line of traditions and Nibbles is now a part of it. You should be proud! It's kinda like the never-ending Zaku makeovers or the old meme of red things moving three times faster than other regular…uh…things or the gazillion Char Aznable clones out there."
"What the hell are you babbling about? You shot my cat in the head! You blew his freaking brains out, you numb nuts. Don't give me that crap about tradition."
"Just clone another cat! I mean this is like the fifth Nibbles clone or something."
"The sixth one actually." He corrected. "Remember the blender incident? Man, that was quite a mess. There was cat fur all over the kitchen and Hilling was so traumatized that she cried for two days."
"I remember." He said. "I don't wanna experience that nightmare again."
"Oh Nibbles…" Ribbons sobbed. "You furry little bastard. Such a tragic life you led."
"Well you can ease the pain by doing some menial house work." Regene handed him a pink apron. "I'll just head to the lab and clone you another cat. A brand new Nibbles to cuddle and molest. Now go to the kitchen and prepare some dinner before I Bright slap you back to the Stone Age, bitch. Oh and clean this mess up while you're at it. There's cat brains all over the couch and it's really grossing me out."
"I hate you, Regene."
"Oh and another thing, Ribbons."
"Yeah?"
"Why is he still here?" He pointed to Hixar Fermi. The white-haired Innovade is sitting on the floor and playing a Nintendo DS. Hayana, his faithful loli, is dancing behind him. "Didn't we all agree not to hang out with this freak anymore?"
"Hi guys." Hixar waved at them. "Boy, video games sure are fun."
"And why the hell did he bring Gundam Meister 887? Those cat ears pisses me off."
"Oh just ignore him. Well I'm off to scoop some cat brains."
"RIBBONS ALMARK!!!"
"Oh shut up."
"Hey Regene, wanna go shopping? Hayana wants to buy new clothes." Hixar said.
"Uh…no…I'm busy. I need to clone a cat."
"Ooooooh!" Hixar clapped his hands like a little kid. "Can I clone a cat too?"
"Get away from me." He hissed.
"Oh Hayana has cat ears and a tail. Does that make her a cat?"
"Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!" He covered his ears and bolted away.
"Regene, wait for me!" Both Hixar and Hayana followed him.
THE NEXT DAY…
7:15 A.M.
Once again, Ribbons Almark is sitting on his favorite couch, watching the morning news while eating a bowl of cereals. His cat, Nibbles or the seventh clone of Nibbles to be exact, is on the floor and playing with a ball of yarn. Ribbons burped after finishing his breakfast and continued watching the show. "Around three this morning, Johnny Ridden also known as the famous Crimson Lightning of Zeon, crashed his mobile suit into Lockon's Bar and completely destroyed the establishment." The news presenter reported. "The authorities have confirmed that Mr. Ridden was drunk after a night of partying with other Zeon soldiers and was already on the way home when he lost control of his Gelgoog. Fortunately, nobody was hurt. The owner of the bar, Lockon Stratos, was out buying cigarettes for his little brother during the time of the accident. Mr. Ridden himself has already promised to take responsibility for the damages he had done. Lockon's Bar opened for business last year and quickly became the favorite hangout of various grunt pilots. Pathetic cannon fodders inhabit this bar to enjoy a cold glass of beer after a day of getting down by angsty bishounen Gundam pilots."
"RIBBONS ALMARK!!!" Regene shouted angrily and turned off the television.
"Hey! I was watching that!" He protested.
"Didn't you promise Anew to help her buy new clothes today? She's going to have a date with Lyle tonight and she wants to look good."
"It's seven in the freaking morning, Regene! The mall is not even open yet."
"It's 2312! Mankind has already invented twenty four hour malls, Ribbons Almark!"
"They did? Huh? What? When?"
"Just help Anew!"
"Fine, fine, fine!" He stood up. "I'm also gonna buy something anyway." He reached into his pockets to check his wallet and realized it's missing. "Oh crappity craptastic craptico! My wallet is gone!"
"You left it inside VEDA's chamber, dumbass."
"Oh right…" He remembered.
"Now move your butt!" Regene bonked him on the head.
"You're such a slave driver, Regene." Ribbons grumbled. "I mean-
KEE-RING! A white bolt flashed across Ribbon's forehead, signalling a Newtype flash. Immense mental pressure suddenly swirled inside his head and he paused for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts. Regene noticed his expression changing. "Is something the matter?" He asked him.
"I sense someone is coming." He answered softly.
"Who? Who's coming?"
DING-DONG! Someone rang the doorbell. "I'll get it." Ribbons said cheerfully and opened the front door. It was one of Char Aznable's Puru clones and the young girl was cosplaying as Garma Zabi from the original series. "Yes, can I help you, little one?"
"Puru, puru, puru!" She handed him a small envelope.
"What's this?" He took the envelope and opened it. "An invitation? Char Aznable is inviting us to one of his parties! That's awesome! Count me in, little Puru clone!"
"Puru, puru!" She gave him a thumbs-up. "Puruuuuuu!"
"Wow. You are such a trooper, little Puru clone. Working hard and handing out these invitations."
"Puru, puru, puru!"
"Of course! I can't say no to you, little Puru clone. I'm so touched." Ribbons sobbed.
"Puruuuuuu!"
"I know what you mean, you cute little angel. Keep up the good work. I'll be cheering for you."
"What the hell…" Regene was dumbfounded.
"Regene!" Ribbons pointed at him. "Give this adorable girl a hug! Give her a hug now!"
"What?"
"Hug the Puru clone!"
"Uh…"
"HUG. HER. NOW."
"Puru, puru, puru, puru!!!" She squealed. "Puruuuuuu!"
"RIBBONS ALMARK!!!" Regene kicked him right in the balls. "Don't mess around."
"Ouchies!!!"
"Puru, puru, puru!!!" The Puru clone ran away.
"Oh shit in a shingle!" Ribbons groaned. "I didn't know I had balls! I thought the Innovades were supposed to be sexless, according to the Gundam 00 official files at least."
"Well except for Anew." Regene added. "We had to make her female for obvious reasons."
"Yeah…"
"Anyway, grab your wallet and help Anew." He ordered.
"Yes sir…or ma'am…or Regene."
VEDA CHAMBER
After the anime, Tieria Erde's consciousness transferred to Veda when his body was destroyed and is now one with the system. He decided to stick around in order to make sure Ribbons won't warp the plan again but that's unlikely to happen now. He also took the liberty to create himself another body so he can move around the place. Being a naked hologram isn't really that cool and it freaks people out. "Hey Tieria." Ribbons entered the room. "You seen my wallet? I think I left it here last night."
"Do you love me, Lockon-chan?" Tieria ignored him and is busy talking to a Bring Stabity clone. The red-haired Innovade is dressed-up like the first Lockon Stratos, complete with the eye patch and all.
"Yes." The clone responded in a monotone voice.
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Oh golly!" Tieria blushed. "I'm so happy. Lockon-chan loves me after all!"
"Uh…" Ribbons tapped his shoulder. "Excuse me?"
"Go away!" He slapped his hand away. "I'm busy here."
"Have you seen my wallet? I'm taking Anew to the mall to help her buy new clothes."
"Yes! Here! Take it and leave!" Tieria hissed and tossed the wallet at his face.
"Thank you very much, you crazy prick." Ribbons said. "If you're gonna be a freeloader here then at least be nice or something. Just because you're one with Veda now doesn't mean you can act all bitchy."
"Do you love me, Lockon-chan?" Tieria ignored him and asked the clone again.
"Yes."
"Tieria, what are you doing? I mean I really don't care what you do in your free time but this is kinda disturbing me."
"You still here?" He glared at him.
"Uh…yes."
"…"
"Uh…well…I…"
"Do you love me, Lockon-chan?" He turned his attention back to the clone.
"Yes."
"Okaaaaaaaay…" Ribbons started sliding away from Tieria.
THREE HOURS LATER
Ribbons and Anew Returner have returned, no pun intended by the way, from the mall and the purple-haired female Innovade is happily hugging the paper bag that contains her new clothes. "Yippeee!!!" She squealed happily. "Thank you for helping me out, Ribbons-sama."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah…"
"You're a good father figure, Ribbons-sama."
"Technically, I am your father. I created you and stuff."
"I hope Lyle will like my new clothes."
"Just who the hell is this Lyle dude anyway? And what kind of dorky name is that? Sounds Irish to me."
"You mean you don't know him?"
"Nope."
"You don't remember?"
"Nope."
"Me and him are lovers. I met him when you guys had me infiltrate Celestial Being, of course I didn't know at that time because I'm actually a sleeper agent."
"Sleeper agent?"
"Uh…"
"I really don't know him."
"Sigh…"
"Uh…"
"Do you least remember episode twenty of Gundam 00 season two?" She asked.
"Oh now I remember!" Ribbons clapped his hands.
FLASHBACK!
"Anew!" Lyle ripped open the Gadess' cockpit hatch. "Come back to me!"
"Lyle? What's happening? What's going on?" She finally came over but Ribbons took over her mind using Quantum Brainwaves. "Oh you can't trick me like that, you stupid human!"
"Anew, please stop!" He pleaded.
Suddenly, Setsuna and the 00 Gundam appeared and blasted Anew's mobile suit into space dust. "Bros before hoes!" He shouted and his Gundam started spreading GN particles.
END OF FLASHBACK!
"Oh that dude!"
"…"
"Setsuna sure is one cheeky brat." Ribbons giggled. "Maybe I should invite him to dinner sometime."
"Uh…I think I should go to my room now." She said and went upstairs. "See you later, Ribbons-sama."
"RIBBONS ALMARK!!!" Regene came out from the kitchen.
"Oh now what? I did what you ordered me to do."
"Yeah, good work on that."
"Oh goody. Regene finally praised me. This is the happiest day of my life." He said sarcastically.
"Oh screw you."
"What's the problem this time?" He sighed.
"Tieria made too much Bring Stabity clones and they're taking up too much space."
"And what do you want me to do?"
"Get rid of the clones." He replied.
"Do I have to? Have Hilling Care or Revive Revival do it. I'm tired and I wanna watch some TV."
"You called, Ribbon-sama?" Hilling appeared and hugged him from behind. "I'll do anything for you."
"Good." He nodded happily. "We got some extra Bring clones running around the house and we need to get rid of them pronto."
"Roger." She saluted and took out a shotgun. "I'll be done in a jiffy."
"Oh and don't forget these." He handed her a chainsaw and big garbage bag. "You need to dispose the bodies after you're done killing them."
"Anything for you, Ribbons-sama!" She giggled and ran off.
"Wow." Ribbons crossed his arms. "That girl sure loves me."
"And I hate you." Regene scoffed at him.
BLAM! BLAM! Several gunshots were then heard from Veda's chamber as Hilling began her massacre…err…I mean cleaning. "Lockon!!!" Tieria screamed in anguish.
"We really should do something about Tieria." Regene adjusted his glasses.
LATER…
Ribbons is once again sitting on his favorite couch and watching television. Hilling came out from Veda's chamber, completely covered in blood. "Ribbons-sama, I'm done!"
"Oh good."
"Is there anything else you want me to do?"
"Uh…I could sure use something to drink. Grab a coke from the fridge, will ya?"
"Roger!" She saluted and quickly went into the kitchen. She then came back and handed Ribbons a can of coke. "Here you go! Enjoy!"
"Oh thanks."
"No problem!" She giggled.
"Okay then…" He opened the can and took a sip.
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"Uh…" Hilling just stood there with a stupid grin on her face. "Is there something you want?" He asked.
"Is there something you want?" She answered with a question of her own. "I live to serve you."
"That's nice, Hilling, but I'm kinda watching TV right now. Maybe you can serve me later."
"No!" She knelt down and hugged his leg. "Please! Please don't ignore Hilling, Ribbons-sama."
"I'm not ignoring you! I just wanna watch some TV. I'll play with you later, I promise!"
"No!" Tears started flowing from her eyes. "You're gonna ignore me! Please don't ignore me!"
"You're covered in blood for fudge's sakes! Get away from me, Hilling!"
"RIBBONS ALMARK!!!" She screamed and bit his leg.
"Ouchies!!!" Ribbons cried out in pain. "You bit me! You freaking bit me!" He stood but quickly lost his balance. "Crap!" He then landed on top of Hilling.
"RIBBONS ALMARK!!!" Hilling continued to scream. "RIBBONS-SAMA!!!"
"What the fudge is going on here?" Revive Revival came out from his room to check the commotion. "Ribbons! What're you doing to Hilling!?" He saw their compromising position.
"Revive, it's not what you think!" He tried to explain. "My God! What the hell is going on? What's up with this eroge-like situation?"
"Ribbons-sama is ignoring me! Ribbons-sama is ignoring me!" Hilling sobbed.
"Why is Hilling covered in blood?"
"It's a long story." He tried to stand up but Hilling quickly hugged him. "Hey! Let me go!"
"Such shameless act…" Revive shook his head. "To think you would do such a thing, Ribbons Almark."
"Fudge you! This is a misunderstanding." He shot back.
"Ribbons-sama, I'm covered in blood. Please lick me." Hilling cooed. "Lick me clean."
"Sweet jumping Yoshiyuki Tomino humping Go Nagai!!!" Ribbons shuddered. "Help me, Revive!"
"I'll leave you two love birds alone." He went back to his room and slammed the door.
"REVIVE REVIVAL!!!"
"Ribbons-sama, do you like Revive more than me? Is that it?"
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?"
"Ribbons-sama, you don't love me anymore?"
"Oh God. What is gonna happen now?" He lamented.
"Hey guys!" Hixar Fermi appeared along with Hayana. "Watcha doing?"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
"That looks like fun! Can I join?"
"No!" Hilling hissed. "Ribbons-sama belongs to me and me only!"
"Okay but can I at least watch?"
"You morons! At this rate, this fanfiction will get removed!"
"Cut! Cut! Cut!" Admiral Muffin jumped off the director's chair, and yes this is the author by the way, and approached Ribbons and the others. "What the hell is this? What the flying monkey is this?"
"Who the hell are you?" Ribbons asked.
"Admiral freaking Muffin."
"What the fudge? A self-insert? That is just lame, you twit."
"Shut-up, Amuro Girly Ray. Anyway, what the hell is this? This is not in the script!"
"What script? Have you been sniffing glue again, Muffin?"
"No! I don't sniff glue. I sniff…uh…shut-up!"
"Just fudge off! You suck! You suck ass! You can't even write! Go back to playing eroge, asshole!"
"Well you can just go-
Suddenly, High Lady Solaris, who is wearing a Nena Trinity T-shirt and wielding a metal bat wrapped with barb wires, appeared behind Admiral Muffin. "Nena Trinity!" She screamed and proceeded to brutally beat him down. "Nena Trinity! I want more Nena Trinity! I want more Nena Trinity! More Nena! Nena! Nena, Nena, Nena, Nena, Nena, Nena, Nena, Nena!!!"
"My leg! You broke my leg! Mommy! I want my mommy!"
"Uh…I think I'm gonna go now." Hixar said.
"Well see you later then." Ribbons bid him farewell. "Be careful out there."
"Aaaaaah! My balls!"
"Shut-up, Muffin!"
EPILOGUE
Ribbons picked up the phone and dialled a number. "Hello? Is this Char? It's me, Ribbons Almark. Yeah. Huh? No! It's really me! It's Ribbons Almark! No, I am not Amuro Ray! What? This is not a prank call, Char. We sound alike because we share the same seiyu. You know that. What? Okay, the next time I talk to you I will make those stupid Gilbert Durandal jokes. How do you like that, Char? Huh? Wait, wait, wait! Stop crying, Char! Stop crying! STOP CRYING! I'm sorry! There! I'm sorry, Char. I'm very, very, very sorry, Char Aznable. Now stop crying and listen to me. Calm down, Char. Calm down. Breath! Breathe! Breath, damn you! Inhale and exhale. Inhale and exhale. Inhale and exhale. There, you feeling better? Yes, I'm sorry. Okay, the reason I called because I want to adopt one of your Puru clones. I'm no Glemy Toto but I'm good with clones. What? How come? C'mon, Char, don't be like that. I'm just asking for one clone. One freaking clone, Char. What? No way! You are one selfish bastard, Char. What? That's not true. How could you say that? Oh now I'm the bad guy. This is just beautiful, Char. Just beautiful. You know what? You can just go to hell!" He slammed the phone down. "Prick."
Ribbons went back to his couch and turned on the television. "Now once more with feelings." Setsuna F. Seiei squeezed Feldt Grace's boobies. "Shipping! Shipping! Shipping! Shipping!"
"IYAAAAAAAH!!!"
STORY NOTES
Well that's it for this one-shot. I hope you guys will like it and sorry for the silly self-insert. Special thanks to High Lady Solaris for giving me the approval to put her in the story. Anyway, let's get on with the reference guide.
Echo Calore is a character from Gundam 00F. He was once a candidate Gundam Meister but was considered inferior to Setsuna and was removed. He is now a pilot for Fereshte, a branch organization of Celestial Being.
Allenby Beardsley is a character from G Gundam and is a Gundam Fighter for Neo Sweden. She pilots the extremely awesome Nobel or Noble Gundam.
Rain Mikamura is also a character from G Gundam. She is Domon Kasshu's partner and love interest.
Soul Society is the home of the Soul Reapers or Shinigamis from Bleach. I admit I'm a fan of the series.
Full Moon o Sagashite is a shoujo manga and anime created by Arina Tanemura. It's a story about a girl who wants to become an idol but is afflicted with sarcoma.
Kappa Mikey is….uh…never mind.
Hixar Fermi is a character from Gundam 00F and Gundam 00P. He was involved in the development of the GN Sefer and the GN-XXX Gundam Rasiel. He is really an Innovade and is also known as the Eyes of Veda.
Hayana or Gundam Meister 887 is a character from Gundam 00F. She is the sister of Hanayo and possess high physical capabilities. She is also capable of taking control of a Gundam remotely.
Garma Zabi is a character from the original Gundam series. He is the youngest of the Zabi siblings and the commander of the main occupation force in Earth during the One Year War.
A Puru clone is a clone of Elpeo Puru from Gundam ZZ.
Yoshiyuki Tomino is the creator of Gundam. If you are a Gundam fan and you don't know him then shame on you.
Go Nagai is a manga artist and science fiction author. His famous works are Mazinger Z, Devilman and Cutey Honey.
Glemy Toto is a character from Gundam ZZ. He is one of the main antagonists of the show.
Well, feel free to post some reviews and criticisms. I'll be doing the ending of the main Happy Fun Times Meisters story next. Laters y'all.
