I was beginning to enjoy the peace of everyday life. Sure, there's no threat of certain death, crazed tyrants, corrupt multinationals, literary criminals, husbands being eradicated, minotaurs, the apocalypse or any combination of the above, but I'd live without them. I was enjoying my life with my family, and intended to keep it just how it was. I invited my Mum over recently and she planted petunias in my front yard, even though I insisted that I liked it better without them. I even told her that Tuesday was allergic to them, a remark which she called "a load of ballocks". It was of course, but she could have at least considered it.

I had taken some time off from Acme Carpets, which didn't sit over well with my former partner Bowden Cable. I hadn't done much honest floor laying work, and the work that I did do pulled in little to no profit whatsoever. But after all of the almost deaths, a little time off was exactly what I needed to ease my nerves. I also took it upon myself to tell Commander Bradshaw I wouldn't be working at Jusifiction for a week or so. I could finally spend some quality time with my husband and three kids. We went to the Swindon Zoo on Monday. Friday moped around with his teenage indifference and Jenny insisted on going to a friend's house, so Tuesday was really the only one who had fun. On Tuesday I made the mistake of taking us to see a game of croquet, as I was bombarded with so many fans asking for autographs that the game was half-way over by the time we even got our seats. Wednesday we went to see a movie together but all the theatre's were playing Lost in a Good Book, the sequel to the awful Eyre Affair movie loosely based on my adventures. Loosely in the way a collar is loose on a dog while it's the package.

So finally on Thursday I decided to say to hell with it all and just stay home and play board games. That ended up working the best, besides for a little quarrel between Tuesday and Friday over who got to be the car in Monopoly when I went to go get Jenny. Landen went instead while I sorted them out and told me that she'd rather play with her dolls. Besides the aforementioned Monopoly, we also played Scrabble which Tuesday won with a finally score of 237 after getting three triple word scores in one word by using Nextian Geometry. Friday claimed she was cheating, but Tuesday said it wasn't in the the rules that she couldn't use complex mathematical equations to get an advantage. We all ate Landen's special recipe for macaroni and cheese, a rarity with the banning of cheese products, and went to bed.

While I was drifting to sleep, I couldn't help but notice a crashing noise coming from outside. This was partly due to the fact that it came from my front yard, and partly because it sounded like a car ramming into a boulder at 80 MPH. I debated whether to go check or not, until I heard my front door opening. I grabbed my automatic and then crept out of the room and down the stairs. The door was wide open, but the lights were still off. With one exception. The kitchen light was on. I sighed. This had to have been the least professional break-in I had ever experienced. Going to get food mid-robbery?

I slowly walked towards the kitchen, gun in hand. I had no idea what to expect, but I walked in. There was a man faced away from me at the counter. He seemed to be fiddling the toaster. I aimed right at him.

"You, turn around!", I demanded. The man seemed startled and turned to face me. He looked no older than thirty. He had a rather large chin, with gentle features that made me want to like him and well combed brown hair. His clothes looked a bit shabby, but consisted of a brown jacket over a light blue dress shirt and black pants. The pants were held up by suspenders, and he wore a small bowtie on his collar.

"Oh, guns, I don't like guns. Never have. I'm actually allergic to them.", Said man, not particularly phased by my automatic being pointed at him.

"What do you think you're doing in my house?" I asked in the most stern voice I could muster. He couldn't be fictional, he was too well described and there was a faint smell of burnt fabric coming from him. He thought for a moment before he answered.

"Well, my spaceship crashed outside on your petunias, which looked lovely by the way. Given the technology in your toaster, I'm guessing I'm on Earth in the year 2002, but that", He rambled, pointing at Pickwick, "is a Dodo. And they've been extinct for thousands of years. Leading me to believe I've fallen through some sort of tear in the fabric reality and landed in another universe." His words were quick and to the point, factual but complete nonsense. I couldn't tell if he was crazy or completely serious.

"You aren't making any sense.", I told him after a brief moment of thinking.

"Well, this whole situation makes no sense. A loud crashing noise, the locked door being wide open without forced entry, and a strange man staring at the inner workings of a toaster. But you have a dodo wearing a hand-knit wool cozy and a fridge full of a single form of pastry, so your life doesn't make the most sense, either." I stared at him.

"…Who are you?"

"Me? Well, all things considered, including the possibility that this is an alternate universe and there is another me somewhere out there…" He paused. "I'm the Doctor."