Is It Over?
I hate him. I hate him with a passion. I wish he never existed. He's ruining my life. Our life. I don't like this. I don't want this. I wish he'd just disappear.
"Hey, Ice, what's the matter man!?"
His hand hits hard against my shoulder like the smell of akvavit hits my nose. I feel sick. Why is he touching me? Why does he invite himself over to my house to drink? Doesn't he know I hate him? How could he not?
My cheeks are a bit red from my drinking. I hate his drink-til-you-drop mentality and as such I generally avoid drinking with him at all but this time I let him pour me a glass.
"It's Linie – your brother's brand. Don't ya wanna try it?" That's what won me over. If it hadn't been Noregur's brand, I would have refused like always. But I was curious about my brother's tastes… so I agreed.
"Just one," I said firmly. But of course he made me drink two and tried to convince me to drink a third. That's the way he is. He can't listen to anyone besides himself. He's such a jerk. He's always been that way. He acts like he's the king of the castle but he's really just an annoyance. I hate him. I hate him more than anyone else in the world.
It's been quiet for a while. It's not normal to see him silent. He usually talks up a storm, the obnoxious bastard. My thoughts swirl around in my head and now I'm getting dizzy. I don't like being dizzy.
"Why'd you come here?" I snap. At least I've broken the silence now. Who cares if I upset him?
"What's the matter with you, Ice?" he asks.
What's the matter with ME? Oh, that's a good one. I'm not the one tearing apart brothers for my own selfish reasons. What's the matter with ME, he says.
Noregur and I aren't just brothers, we're best friends. Or at least we WERE until HE came along. What's the matter with HIM, I ask you. Two brothers as close to each other as they could possibly be and he comes along and ruins it for his own selfish reasons. Then again, I guess I'm selfish too.
We both want Noregur to ourselves. Deep down, I'm really just as selfish as he is. Deep down, we're the same.
I feel sick. I get up and start to stumble toward the bathroom. I feel so sick… so dizzy… so hot…
"Oh, you lightweight!" he laughs. "Two drinks and you're reduced to THIS?"
Please don't follow me. Dammit, why are you following me!? There's no way this can end well. I can feel the rage building. He's so damned obnoxious. I just want to—I just want to--.
"Yo, Ice!"
I can't stop it. Before I can even process what I'm doing, my fist collides with his chin. He flies up a bit before he hits the floor with a thud. It must only take a second or two for him to hit the floor but I feel like I'm watching him fall for hours and hours. His face starts bleeding. I'm not sure from where. It's all over his face. I didn't think I hit him that hard. Honestly. But I guess I must have. So much blood. And all I can do is stand there and stare, unable to move, unable to speak.
The door opens. I can barely manage to lift my eyes of the floor to see Noregur standing there. He looks calm but he always looks calm. He's really angry. I open my mouth to speak but the words don't come out. I can't even get them to form in the back of my brain, much less on the tip of my tongue. He doesn't speak either. There's complete silence as he pulls Danmörk up off the floor. The first thing I hear in what feels like forever is the sound of the door closing behind them. They're gone. Noregur left me here alone. He didn't even say goodbye.
I fall down on the floor, unable to stand any longer. It's over. It's all over. He hates me now. Damn it all. Why couldn't it have been Danmörk who hit me? Then Noregur would hate HIM. Damn it. I should have provoked him into hitting me instead of letting my temper get the better of me. Then he'd be the one alone, not me.
God, I really am just as selfish as he is. The more I grow to hate him, the more I grow to be like him. God, I make myself sick.
After a minute or two, I gather my strength and get back on my feet. My legs are shaking as I walk back to the living room, where this whole mess began. Collapsing on the couch, I come to a conclusion.
If I'm going to be like him anyway, I may as well drink like him.
I grab the bottle of Linie. Can't be bothered to reach for the glass. Just pour it straight down my throat. God, it burns. But I bet it tastes a lot better than whatever Danmörk normally drinks back home.
After two or three gulps of the stuff, I'm already in the middle of a choking fit. After I settle down a bit, I keep going. Then, everything goes black.
I wake up with a quarter bottle sitting on the table next to me and a massive headache overtaking me. It's bright. Too bright. It burns. I cover my eyes with my arm. Then, I hear him.
"Island."
He never was much for words.
"Noregur?"
"What did you do last night?" It's ironic. I can actually hear the frustration in his voice but he still looks so devoid of emotion.
"The same thing Danmörk does every night," I mumble with a bit of a smile. "You're proud of me, right? I'm becoming just like him. You like him more than me now so now that I'm becoming just like him, you'll start liking me again, right?"
He sighs. Noregur walks over and sits on the edge of the table. He stares down at me with those blank blue eyes of his. "You're an idiot."
I can't help but laugh as I note, "Just like Danmörk."
"You're totally different," Noregur states.
"Don't tell me you're calling that fool SMART?" I sit up slightly. God, my head feels like someone is driving a whole box of nails into it.
He just stares at me. Blankly. There's a bit of disappointment in his eyes. Dammit, now I feel like crying.
"What do I do, Noregur? What do I do?" I ask with a slight sigh. I know how pathetic I must look right now. I hate looking pathetic. Being weak. I've always admired Noregur for his ability to remain calm and level-headed no matter what.
"Island?"
"We're brothers. I don't want you to hate me. I don't want you to ignore me. And I certainly don't want to be replaced with an incompetent half-comatose moron like Danmörk. So what do I do to make this better? What do I do to make us brothers again?" I think I might be crying now, as much as I'm trying to fight it. Damn it all.
He says nothing.
A single tear rolls down my cheek. I've lost the battle. "Is it over? Did I throw it away?"
He makes a noise. Was that? It was! He LAUGHED! Of all the things one could possibly do, he chooses to LAUGH? I stare up at him in complete shock, with the faintest bit of anger showing in my face.
"You're so stupid," he says. So he LAUGHS and calls me STUPID? How can he possibly think this is an appropriate response to the situation?
"I may have been mad last night but I got over it. We're brothers, Island. Nothing can change that. It will never be 'over.' It's not like this is some cheap love affair," Noregur says. "Besides, if Danmörk was a replacement for you, I hope to God I wouldn't be sleeping with him."
I laugh a little. I guess that was pretty stupid of me to think like that. But still, I feel alone. Noregur never comes to see me anymore. He's always with Danmörk. I don't want him to be with Danmörk. It takes him away from me. But I guess I can deal with it. If it's for the sake of my relationship with my brother, I can do it. I know I can.
"So, we're good?" I ask.
"You need to apologize to Danmark," he says sternly. "But yes."
"Alright, but he better not come drinking at my house again anytime soon or it's going to happen again," I reply, half laughing, half growling in annoyance.
"Why not? It seems you like Linie," Noregur picks up the practically empty bottle and examines it.
I'm silent at first. I'm embarrassed by it. I don't like drinking. And I certainly don't like looking like some kind of alcoholic.
After a moment, I finally find the right words. I smile softly. "I'd rather do my drinking with my brother, thanks."
A slight smirk tugs at his lips. I guess things are alright, after all. I may not like Danmörk or how my brother spends so much time with him but I'll learn to deal with it. For my brother, of course. Only for Noregur.
