Don't know if it's been done yet, but I had a thought, and it blossomed into this. Not much, just a one-shot. I was thinking about when Sam asked Jess what he would do without her, and how everything has happened between that time. So I hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural, or its characters, or the plot, or…anything.

SPN
SPN

On the rare occasion Sam has to himself to think about everything, he has been thinking more and more of Jess. Or more specifically, their last Halloween together and the conversation they had had that night. He thinks about all he has done since then. Things he should never have done. Sleeping with a freaking demon was at the very top of that long long list. Along with losing trust and faith in his brother, ruining their relationship, and oh yeah-starting the apocalypse. If he could go back in time, he knew he would definitely redo all that. He'd been on a downward spiral for so long now, and he wished that he had someone to just help him. Oh yeah, Dean was around, but really, the only reason for that was because he was just making sure he would never give in to Lucifer's demands. As if that would ever happen. And the fact that Dean was probably only sticking around for that reason alone saddened him. It used to be that he could turn to Dean for anything, even if he didn't want to talk about it, always afraid of their talks turning into chick flick moments. But he was still there for him. But it all changed when he came back from Hell.

How could Sam have let things come to this? No one trusting in him, wanting to hunt him now, or worse, wanting him to continue drinking the demon blood so he could be stronger and defeat the demon army. It was too much for him to handle. How could he have done all that? He had fought so hard against going evil that he had somehow ended up there all the same. Had never even realized that it had happened. And once again, the conversation came back, always haunting him, like a spirit itself.

"What would I do without you?"

"Crash and burn."

And he had.


So…what do you think? Please review. They make me all happy and stuffs.