So I got the new-ish Artemis Fowl book on Wednesday, and it's basically ruled my life. Sorry about not updating my other stories, blame Mr. Colfer! Anyways, this is sort of a "What Would Artemis Do?" Sort of series; just a bunch of random drabbles about our favourite genius.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but the plot.
GIVE A GENIUS A COOKIE
Artemis Fowl the Second was a very busy boy, and the type that did not particularly like to be disturbed. That was why one mid-afternoon in the middle of spring, he found himself very frustrated as he made his way down the stairs of the Fowl Mansion to go take care of the persistent knocking on the door by some small child. He had seen her coming from his bedroom window; she probably had mistaken his residence for another. However, it baffled him as to how she could have gotten past security; perhaps the new guard had let her in? The thought worried him; he would have to look up into it. Still, she looked harmless enough, though before answering the door he quickly scanned her person for any weapons or fairy technology. After finding none, he went to open the door. As he crossed the cold stone flooring he thought about the project he was working on, one that could not only help prevent global warming and reduce carbon emissions ten-fold, but also make it very rich.
"Hello, my name is Isabella!" Said the perky child at the door. Isabella had large brown eyes and long, dark hair. She spoke with a high-pitched voice and American accent. She wore a yellow sash around her chest, with several badges sewn onto it. Her hat was tilted to the side, and Isabella did not look like any threat to security. However, Artemis had learned long ago that looks could be very deceiving.
"Hello. My name is Artemis. What do you require, little girl?"
"My only wish is that you buy some of my delicious cookies, Mister Artemis!" And with that, Isabella smiled largely, and looked him squarely in the eye. It was obvious she was not going to take no for an answer, but Artemis himself was like this, and knew the right way to break people like that down. He could probably sell her about a thousand boxes of her own chocolate cookies.
"No thank you, Miss. I do not want any of your cookies, please." Best start out gently. He really wanted to avoid crushing this little girl, though would if he needed to.
"Oh, but I think you do." And then, he met her gaze, and all of a sudden he felt himself more compelled to buy the cookies than he had been to do anything else in his life. Artemis felt his mouth gape open. The little girl was hypnotizing him, and strangely, he was completely all right with it.
"So, one of everything then?" Artemis could do no more than give a meek nod as the girl began unloading boxes from a wagon nearby.
"Uh," He said suddenly, and then forgot what he was saying. Artemis shook his head. "Whom should I make the check out to?"
"I'll take cash." Said the girl, and he paid her several euros in exchange for the desserts.
"Thank you for supporting the Fireside Girls!" Isabella called, and then left.
And Artemis was left standing in foyer with about two-dozen boxes of cookies. After the hypnosis of sorts wore off, he briskly took out his phone and dialed for help.
"Hey, Holly," He asked the elf. "Do you like Fireside cookies?"
That's it, folks, how'dya like it? This is actually a scientific method of selling cookies, it's an ancient magic and explains why you always buy way more than necessary. Does Ireland have Girl Scout cookies, or anything similar? I would assume, but I'm not sure and too lazy to research it. Anyways, big props to Phineas and Ferb; Best show on Disney for a while. Well, that's about it… R & R, folks!
