Disclaimer: I'm not rich, and I failed Art Class. It should be no surprise that I'm not Gosho Aoyama, these are not my characters, I just put them into unique scenarios and watch the chaos flow.

Credit for the cover goes to たろう on Pixiv, many thanks!


"Wait, you were in the men's toilets? Should I even ask why?". Saguru Hakuba was very rarely completely surprised, but he was struggling to keep a look of incredulity off his face. Still, he managed – he didn't wish to lose out on the chance to finally find out what happened on the Blush Mermaid heist. Especially since Kuroba-kun's bruised cheek indicated it'd be a funny one.

It was this desire to find out exactly what had happened that had lead to this discussion in the lobby of Haido City Hotel.

"Queue was shorter. And unlike every other woman in my family, I can get away with it." came the reply from a relaxed Masumi Sera, glancing down her own body with a frown. "Even fooled Kid when he took my clothes. That was his undoing mind, the Wizard managed to figure him out from it."

"The Wizard?", Hakuba inquired. Whilst the task force regularly made use of Kuroba-kun, having him capture... himself, seemed impossible at the best of times. Not that he wouldn't put it past him though.

"Ah, little Conan-kun. Apparently they split into groups to search each other when the gem vanished, and the bastard decided to go with a group of men until corrected." Sera had seen the two of them chatting, it almost seemed as if Conan-kun didn't care to capture the thief. "Dunno why he didn't even try to capture the guy, although I'd gamble it had something to do with the Bell Tree Express." Saguru nodded, the explosion had managed to make national newspapers. "Still, they were talking long enough for Kid's head to be a stationary target."

"Wait, you don't mean to say that you were the one who..."

"Well, brother taught me Jeet-Kune-Do...", pausing to leave the implication hidden in a very wide smile. "It is very rare to have to attack yourself, but it was incredibly satisfying."

"I should imagine. Wait, if it was kid that you scared, then why did Nakamori-keibu end up turning a unique shade of white the second he saw you?". Surely Kid wasn't masquerading as him, he didn't think it was feasible for anyone to match his vocabulary.

"Ah, he decided to pinch my cheek to check I wasn't Kid. So I checked him." Sera's face slid very easily into one of complete and utter innocence, and Hakuba figured out he'd have to get that exact story out of one of the others at the heist. "So, what're your plans for this one?"

"Well, probably whatever the task force goes with, minus any attempt to capture Kid by sitting on him. Unless, of course, you want to work on a separate plan?"

This caught Sera's attention. "What do you have in mind?"

Hakuba allowed a smirk to grace his features, as he began throwing out ideas.


To say Kaitou Kid was panicked was a very slight understatement. Like, "Sherlock Holmes is a decent detective" is an understatement. Normally his detectives were easy enough to deal with. Tantei-san could be tricked, given some patience, and Tantei-kun was currently very easily disabled, and lacked any respect from Nakamori-keibu. Tantei-han was not a common sight, and he was hot headed enough to be baited rather easily.

Tantei-chan, however, was new. He couldn't predict her actions yet, and she had a hell of a kick. And judging by her stance when she demonstrated this fact, she also had a good punch or 10, each signed for him.

Last time they'd encountered each other, Tantei-kun was kind enough to not really work on capturing him. This time, not only were two of his detectives both working to capture him, they were doing so together.

He couldn't even read their lips properly – it seems that they were both speaking English very quickly. He'd gamble that once Hakuba realised they were both fluent they'd swapped to be able to plan things out with less eavesdropping.

Smug English bastard.


"Wait, so you're telling me you know who the Kid is? And he's our age?". Sera certainly found that interesting.

Hakuba put down his mug of tea – he'd decided a drink would be useful if planning took a while - "Indeed, although all proof is circumstantial. He apparently fell down the stairs on the night of the Blush Mermaid heist. I must thank you for that, a quiet Kuroba-kun is a tolerable Kuroba-kun."

"... no kiddin' when you said that you knew him. Class clown?", replied Sera. Hakuba was still figuring out where her accent when she spoke English was from, but he couldn't get much above it being to the north.

"Indeed. I was disappointed though, Suzuki-san missed a great opportunity in not filling the tank the Blush Mermaid resided in with fish.

Sera cocked an eyebrow up at that statement, "Fish?"

"Icthyophobe, amazingly. I just wish I knew what actually caused it," Hakuba chuckled, before continuing, "it'd be lovely to know exactly what happened. For non-nefarious purposes, naturally."

"Right, because hiding a jewel in an underwater labyrinth filled with sharks would be completely fair."


Tantei-san and Tantei-chan were both bent over laughing.

Oh. Oh dear. That can't be good.


Perhaps they'd forgotten to actually follow up on whatever planning they were making. Or perhaps they were just observing, and would strike once he'd finished dancing with the task force.

It was probably the latter. Actually securing the gemstone was simple enough, with the task force not using the still-reinforced glass from the Golden Eye heist to any effect. However, just outside the room were two detectives, each wearing a gasmask. Tantei-san was holding a threatening spray, emblazoned with with White Horse of Hakuba Laboratories. It did not need genius to realise that running was probably a good idea, as was quickly donning a gas mas of his own. However, the only available route was back into the display room.

Well, that was workable. Pop a smoke bomb, and climb up through the panel in the ceiling you modified, then emerge on the next floor. Seemed foolproof, or at least able to distract his detectives for a reasonable amount of time.

Everything seemed fine in the room above, it seemed to be just used as storage. The usual items were in it, a mop and bucket, a broken looking TV, an angry Tantei-chan charging into the room, some buckets of paint...

… wait. Stop. Rewind that a little.

Oh. Oh dear.


"Hakuba-kun, he went up through that panel. Seems like I knocked him out as well.". Sera shook the now limp body, with no reaction from it, talking into the phone. "You want to bring Nakamori-keibu up here?"

"That sounds reasonable, yes. I'll be up in a moment."

Hakuba arrived shortly, along with a wide-eyed Nakamori-keibu, who winced at the large bruise forming on Kid's cheek. However, the second Sera moved out of the way to allow the inspector access to Kid's hands to place the handcuffs on him, a smoke bomb rolled onto the floor, and as the smoke spread out, Kid exited very quickly.

Sera was the first to react, chasing Kid to his most likely destination, the rooftop. However, she wasn't able to get up there in time, instead only being able to see a white hang-glider in the distance. The only notable thing was the gem lying on the floor, along with a little note.

I'm afraid that this is not the jewel I'm looking for, so I now return it to you.

-Kaitou Kid

Sera was surprised when Hakuba-kun caught up, followed by Nakamori-keibu. "Well, that was substantially closer than normal", observed the Brit. "And it doesn't involve anything that will only wash out in vinegar, which is a bonus.". Even through his words were positive, he didn't look so happy.

"Well, if that was so close, perhaps we should work together more often? I wonder if it would be possible t'get Conan-kun along with us as well.", suggested Sera.

Hakuba switched back to a smile, "Perhaps. You already have my phone number, so we should be able to keep in touch at any rate."

"Aye. We'll get him at some point – I still have to knock him out for last time. Next time I'm adding a couple of extra kicks for good measure." Nakamori-keibu paled visibly once again, although whether it was because of a shared male sympathy with Kid, or simply because it meant being terrified by Sera at substantially more heists was a mystery.

"Anyhow, it's rather chilly out here, and I suspect we should be heading downstairs.".


The walk downstairs was filled with idle chatter from the two teen detectives, whilst Nakamori seemed content to just stay silent, although whether it was in shock or just to observe them was uncertain. It was rather funny, though, that it took Sera until she left the hotel to remember that she was staying at the aformentioned hotel. Probably the fact that they had somehow ended up holding hands (He was sure that Aoko would love to hear about that) distracted them. Even if they both did jump a mile upon realising this fact.

Still, homeward bound. It was getting awful late, and the report could wait until the morning.


Sera was smiling as she entered her room, preparing to retire for the night. Unfortunately, it caught the attention of her "young" charge rather well.

"Well, Masumi, I guess you've finally gotten over your other crush?" came the sweet voice from the girl in question.

"I have no idea what you mean mum.", came the irritated reply.

"Really? Is that why you were holding hands with him and walked him to the door?"

"MUUUUUM!"


Hakuba entered the classroom, not surprised to see a vacant seat where Kuroba-kun would sit. However, Aoko-kun had made it, and asked, "So, who's the girlfriend?". Thankfully, she was relatively quiet, however before Hakuba could respond with denial, Keiko-kun had evidently heard, shrieking "HAKUBA-KUN HAS A GIRLFRIEND!".

Hakuba just sighed, pressing his fingers to the bridge of his nose as he felt the start of a very bad headache setting in.


That's all folks, thanks for reading. This is my first fanfic, so feel free to R&R.

And yes, I do ship HakuSera. And I dislike the fact that I seem to be the only person who does so xD

Anyway, that's all folks, take care.

~DF44