Disclaimer: Primeval and its characters belong to Impossible Pictures, no copyright is intended
29th March
Abby was already annoyed with Connor. Not only had he slept in because he hadn't moved his alarm clock an hour forward during the weekend, he had used the last of the milk and not replaced it and her hairdryer wasn't working again. They were running late, and Abby hated that. They didn't have set hours that they had to be at the ARC, but she liked to get there for 9am. It made what they were doing for a living seem 'normal' somehow.
They were just getting into the car when Connor stopped.
"Abby, I'm sorry! My phone!" he turned around and ran back inside.
"Hurry up!" she shouted, getting into the driver's seat and slamming the door. Now she really was annoyed. She turned the radio on, a little louder than usual. However, watching Connor return back to the car with his puppy dog expression, it was difficult to be angry with him for long. "Got everything now?" she said, as he climbed into the passenger seat and fastened his seat belt.
"Yeah, sorry," he said. "I'm all out of sync today."
Abby drove the usual route to the ARC, the traffic a little quieter than usual. It was the start of the school holidays for Easter. Connor was humming along to the song on the radio, and Abby smiled. The sun was shining, it finally felt like winter had passed, and she was happy. She pulled to a stop at the pedestrian crossing on the High Street and waited for a young family to cross. Suddenly, there was a screech of tyres and people running and screaming. A blue van sped around the corner, seemingly out of control. It narrowly missed the family. Connor screamed. It was like slow motion. Poor Abby didn't stand a chance.
Connor vaguely remembered someone helping him out of the car, and an elderly lady putting her arms around him, saying "It's alright, sonny." But it wasn't alright. He knew it wasn't. He just stared at the scene in front of him. The blue van seemed relatively unscathed, but Abby's car was mangled beyond recognition. There were four men around it, pulling at the car door and shouting something to each other. He couldn't hear what they were saying, everything was just a blur. All he could think about was, somewhere in that mangled wreck was Abby.
"Abby!" he yelled, making a dash towards the car. Someone held him back.
"Its better you don't look, mate." A voice said. Connor was shaking. He had to go to her, he had to see her. He shrugged off the arm holding him and moved forward again. Then he saw her, lifeless, pale, and the blood … so much blood!
"Noooooooo!" he yelled, tears streaming down his face. By now, the sound of sirens could be heard in the distance. The elderly lady from earlier came and put her arm around him again, and guided him back towards the pavement. After that, everything seemed hazy. He recalled sitting in the back of the ambulance talking to a policewoman who was taking notes. No-one would actually tell him anything when he asked how Abby was, the only answer he got was "The paramedics are doing everything they can."
After what felt like an eternity, there was a rush of activity as the paramedics wheeled Abby on a stretcher into the back of the ambulance. The doors were slammed and they sped off, sirens blaring out loudly.
"Do you want to come and hold her hand?" the female paramedic said. "Might help her to know you're there."
Connor shifted himself closer to the stretcher and took her tiny hand in his. He expected to be comforted by her warmth, but was shocked at how cold her hand was. He looked at the paramedic.
"Is she… is she OK?"
"She's hanging in there. We've got a very feint pulse, but it's enough. We're helping her breathe at the moment."
Connor nodded. It sounded promising, but the pain in his chest and the sickness in his stomach told him something else. He stroked her forehead, brushing aside some stray hair that was covered in blood and sticking to her.
"Abs?" he whispered, desperate for some sign, a flicker of recognition. Nothing came. He tried to be strong, not wanting to allow his fears take over, but the tears were falling again.
--
5th April
Connor and Jack were sat in the doctor's office, waiting anxiously. Connor had been surprised when Jack came within hours of being called. They'd both been at Abby's bedside all week, taking it in turns so the other could get some sleep or eat. Connor's opinion of Jack had changed during the week. He had grown up somewhat since their last meeting, and Connor hoped Abby knew that. She'd have been proud of the way he handled himself.
They'd agreed with the doctor to wait a week before making a decision. When Abby had first arrived, there was a small glimmer of hope. If the swelling in her brain went down, they could assess her properly. However, she was being kept alive by machines, and there had been no response to any stimulus. Ultimately, Jack would have the final say as her only relative, a decision he hoped he wouldn't have to make. They were waiting for the doctor to complete his assessment.
Dr Granger came into the room, a clipboard in his hand. He sat down opposite Connor and Jack and swallowed hard.
"I'll try to be as honest as possible with you. I'll give you the facts, and then it will be for you to decide what you wish to do."
"Thank you. We appreciate that." Connor said. He felt sick.
"I've been running tests all week and whilst there hasn't been any deterioration in her condition, there hasn't been an improvement either. She isn't able to breathe un-assisted and her heartbeat is so weak it's barely detectable."
Connor felt a stabbing in his chest. He knew what was coming.
"What about her brain? You said if her brain was OK, she could recover." Jack asked.
"My tests indicate that … there's no easy way of saying this I'm afraid … the tests indicate that there is no brain function whatsoever." The doctor took a deep breath.
"She's brain dead." Connor said. Somehow, he had known that since they were in the back of the ambulance. He was certain she would have given him some kind of sign if she'd still been there.
"No!" Jack sobbed.
"I'm afraid so. Everything that was the Abby you love is no longer there. Her body is just existing, and the machines are just keeping it alive."
Connor and Jack looked at each other. They both knew what had to be done.
"Mr Maitland. As her next of kin, the decision rests with you. Do you need time to discuss this with Mr Temple?"
"No." Jack said. "It's time to let her go. Connor, do you agree?"
Connor simply closed his eyes and nodded.
--
Jack has allowed Connor a few minutes alone with Abby to say his goodbyes. He sat next to her, holding her hand, trying to search for the words he wanted to say. He couldn't bring himself to actually say 'goodbye', so he opted for "Sleep well." There were so many other things he wanted to say to her, but it all seemed pointless. They were things he should have said when she was alive. He left the room, indicating for Jack to go in and have a few minutes alone with her too.
The doctor arrived, and Connor followed him back inside. It was peaceful, dignified. One by one, the machines were switched off. The steady beeps of the heart monitor changed to a constant, single note, then silence as that was also switched off. The doctor left the room without a word, leaving Jack and Connor sobbing. The two men hugged each other for comfort, united in their grief.
--
As Connor left the hospital, the brightness of the sun seemed harsh and cruel. How dare it shine so bright on this sad day?! Not wanting to face home or work, Connor sat on a bench in the hospital grounds, lost in his thoughts. First Stephen, then Cutter, and now he had lost Abby as well. It was too much. It was so unfair, Abby still had so much living to do ahead of her, and that van driver had denied her that. If only he could go back and warn her.
If only he could go back and warn her.
The thought danced in his head, taunting him. He had considered doing it after Stephen's death, he'd also toyed with the idea after Cutter's death. On both occasions, rational thought took over, messing about with the past was wrong and could have dire consequences all round. But now, all Connor could think about was the unfairness of it all. He had the means to go back in time with some help, why shouldn't he? What harm would it do if he stopped Abby getting in that car a week ago?
There was only one person he knew that had the means to find a specific anomaly, and seeking help from that person was going to be difficult. Even if he knew how to find her, would she even help? Helen had a habit of turning up when she was least wanted, like she had some kind of radar. He always suspected she somehow kept tabs on them, and he hoped that was the case. As he called Sarah at the ARC to tell her the news, he prayed Helen's radar was working.
Hours later, Connor finally plucked up the courage to go back to the flat. As he walked slowly down the street, he got the sense of being followed. He stopped.
"Helen?"
"How did you guess?" she said, stepping out of the shadows.
"I hoped it would be you."
"Really? Now that's a first! Why would you want me?"
"I need your help." Connor's heart was racing. He couldn't believe he was actually doing this.
"Interesting. What could I possibly help you with?" Helen seemed almost amused.
"I need you to find me an anomaly. A specific anomaly." Connor was trying to sound like he wasn't begging.
"Let me guess, you want to change something. I heard about Abby's death, so tragic."
"Just tell me if you can help me or not!" he said, "I'm in no mood to play games."
"I can help, yes. I can get you back to the morning of the accident, if that's what you want."
"Yes, that's what I want."
Helen stared at Connor. "OK. I'll help you, but it comes at a price."
"Well, I guessed that. You're only interested if there's something in it for you. What do you want from me?"
Helen grinned. "Dear, sweet Connor. So clever and yet so innocent. I always said your brains were wasted on Nick's little project." She stroked his shoulder, making him shudder.
"What do you want from me?" he said, dreading the answer.
"I help you go back and warn Abby, and in return, you leave the ARC team and work for me."
"No." Connor walked away. His head was spinning. He couldn't do what she was asking, but could he live without Abby in his life?
"Are you sure about this Connor?" Helen called after him. He stopped. She knew she had him. He turned around.
"OK." He whispered. "I'm doing this for Abby, not for anyone else."
"Good boy." Helen said. "You won't regret this. Come with me." She turned and began to walk with a purpose down the street, with Connor following her like an obedient dog. Connor's only thought was stopping Abby from getting in the car.
--
Connor stood by the anomaly that Helen had just opened. There was no question about whether this was right or wrong. He had to do this, for Abby.
"You should only need a few minutes. I'll keep it open until you come back through." Helen said. Connor nodded.
"Thank you." He never thought he'd be saying that to Helen. With a deep breath, he stepped through the anomaly into a familiar scene.
--
29th March
Connor stood hidden behind a car parked a little way down the street from their flat. He watched himself and Abby come out, and then saw Abby get into the driver's seat. He waited until he saw himself disappear back inside the flat to get his phone then ran over to the car.
"Abby!" he gasped.
"Connor? What?" she was confused. She'd just seen him go into the flat.
"You know I wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't serious, I've come through an anomaly a week from now." He took Abby's hand. It felt so good, warm, soft.
"Connor, you're scaring me." She said. "What's wrong?"
"I've spent the last week sitting by your hospital bed, and I've just watched you die" he was sobbing.
"What?" she could see the fear and sadness in his eyes.
"Promise me you won't drive to work today?" Connor said.
"OK. We'll walk into town and get the tube." She said.
Connor smiled through his tears. "Thank you." He said, and began to walk away. She still had hold of his hand. Letting go was hard, knowing it could be the last time. "Abby, whatever else happens from now on, I did this for you. I did it because I love you." He leaned forward and kissed her. Why hadn't he been brave enough to do this before now? He heard the door to the flat opening, and knew he had to leave before his other self came out. He ran back towards the anomaly, praying he had done enough.
--
5th April
Helen was waiting for him when he came back through, arms folded across her chest. "Right, Connor. Today is the start of a great partnership."
"Not yet. I need to know this worked. I need to know Abby is still alive."
"Of course. I understand that." Helen said. "She's alive, I can assure you of that."
"Not enough. I need to see her. I won't believe it until I see it." Connor had a dreadful feeling that Helen was tricking him.
"I'll show you. Come with me." Helen led him down the street, back towards the door to the flat. "Wait and see."
They stood, waiting and watching. After a few minutes, the door opened and Sarah came out. She was crying. Helen's face didn't falter, but Connor's showed confusion. Sarah was dressed in dark suit, he knew she didn't wear a suit for work so he didn't understand what was happening. Two big black cars pulled up outside, one of them with a coffin and flowers, the other an ordinary car. Sarah shouted through the open door. "Its here!"
"You said she was still alive!" Connor turned to Helen angrily. "You lied!"
"She is still alive. Wait."
Connor turned back to the doorway. Abby stepped out, followed by Danny. He threaded his arm through hers and she leaned on him for support. Although she had that brave, defiant expression on her face, Connor could see she had been crying. She was dressed in the same black dress she had worn for Stephen's funeral. That was when Connor realised he'd done more than just prevent Abby's accident.
"They're going to a funeral?" he whispered.
"Yes Connor." Helen said.
He had already guessed the answer, but he asked anyway. "Whose?"
"Yours Connor. Abby didn't die. You did."
