Comfort and Joy
December 22nd
"Sam, wake up."
Sam was gently rolling around on the king sized bed Dean had managed to hustle from the cute receptionist the day before. Pulling a Pink Floyd shirt over his head, Dean called Sam's name louder-
"Hey, come on, Sasquatch. I know you're awake over there." -well, not his given name. Sam tossed and turned as Dean attempted to rouse him from sleeping. With a shiver and a strained moan of "-eannn", Sam woke up and sleepily assessed the situation.
"Wha-?" Sam blinked as the sun burst through the window. "Food, Sam. Wake up and get dressed. And who the hell is 'ean'?" Dean quirked his eyebrows at his baby brother who flushed a pink color under his scrutiny.
"Oh, uh, Jean. From the werewolf case? She was pretty smokin'." Sam replied.
"Uh huh. There's a sausage biscuit on the table when you're finally ready, Princess." Dean chuckled as a pillow was thrown at his head.
Later at the local diner, Sam tells Dean of a hellcat who's been terrorizing Fairview, Montana.
"Hellcats? Like the show?" Dean asked, "now I've heard of it all.." He muttered. "What the hell could it be terrorizing? There's no one in Montana." Dean sipped his rapidly cooling coffee and grimaced. "How would you even kill a hellcat?"
Sam shrugged. "Same way you kill a hellhound?" He offered. It earned him a stern glare from his brother. "And how would you kill those, College boy?"
"Well, they're sensitive to steel-" Sam began, leaning into his laptop.
"Hell, we got enough of that to last us a lifetime, baby boy. I think we're all set." Smiling like a Cheshire cat, Dean tossed his cup into the trash and motioned for Sam to follow him. As Sam closed his laptop, he too was wearing a smug grin.
As they slid into the cool seats of the Impala, Dean asked, "How long does it take to drive to Fairview?"
"It's about 1000 feet from the Montana/ North Dakota border." Sam spouted off the fact before he realized he'd said it. "Oh, uh. It's about a 7 hour drive from where we are now." He stared out of the windshield at the passing trees. In a few hours, the trees would be covered in snow. Sam smiled as he remembered snow-covered hills and trees and home where they stayed for more than a few days. And if he got his way, they would stay through New Year's; hellcats be damned.
December 23rd
"Rise and shine, pretty boy. We're here." Dean said to Sam as he grabbed their duffle bags. When Sam made no move to get up, he slammed the trunk to piss him off. Getting the desired effect, Dean laughed and tossed Sam's stuff into his lap. "Hurry up and get a room or you'll freeze to death." Dean added, and tugged a jacket from his bag. Sam stalked off, ahead of Dean, muttering something about 'goddamn brother' and 'fuckin' cold!'
~
As they settle into their room, Dean declared the bathroom his first. Sam groans as he sets his bag on the bed he chooses, and opens his laptop to continue researching. He heard the shower start with a sputter and Dean climbing in and groaned for an entirely different reason. Sam knew he's got a one-way ticket to Hell because of his fascination with Dean. That's his brother, for fuck's sake! But Dean's always been there; when Dad wasn't, when all Hell was (literally) breaking loose, he's been by Sam's side.
Sam felt guilty for lying to Dean about 'hellcats' in Fairview. Fuck, hellcats don't even exist. The only truth was that it really was 1000 feet away from Montana's border.
Dean pulled the bathroom door open and steam billowed out around him. Sam's mouth went dry and he averted his eyes from his wet brother's form. "We need to go out, have a lil' fun, ya' know? How about this little bar I saw a few miles from here? Maybe you can find someone to keep you company." Dean cast an innocent glance toward his little brother whose eyes were glued to the screen. Typical. Dean thought as he grabbed clothes he dubbed suitable for picking up chicks in, and sauntered of into the bathroom once again. Sam let out a bated breath as he powered down his computer and pulled on nicer clothes.
Sam silently played pool as he stared daggers at the blonde his brother was currently hitting on. "Aw, c'mon," she begged, a big pout on her cock-sucking red lips, "just one night." Another blonde approached and Dean must feel like a god, the way he has them surrounding him. He looked between both of them, as if choosing between them. He leaned in and whispered something to one, and cast a cursory look at his brother. Sam straightened as the focus shifted toward him. He raised his eyebrows in question as Dean gestured to the girl with too much make up on and to himself then to the other blonde and Sam. Sam shook his head, grinning and returned to his game. He waved down a passing waitress and asked for a Jack Daniels.
"They wanna do what!" Sam stared at his calm brother like he's grown two heads. He clutched the pool cue as his knees went weak beneath him.
"A foursome, a fourway. C'mon, Samantha, you can't possibly have never heard of it-" Dean started, a lopsided grin blossoms on his face as he basks in his brother's innocence. "Yes, Dean, I've heard of it. But with two random chicks-"
"They're sisters."
"Even worse. Twice the incest! Ugh, man. You can't possibly have fathomed this?" Sam's expression was wild and worried. He can't really be okay with this? Can he?
"Dude, chill out. I won't be fuckin' you, just Pansy. And you'll get Rose. Everything evens out." Dean casually joined the pool game as if nothing's different.
"But we'll be in the same room won't we? Just, uh, doing two different girls." Sam blushed as the rudimentary statement fell from his lips. Dean's eyes flicked from the 13 ball to Sam as he watched the emotions cross over his face.
"I guess," Dean shrugged, "It'll be like me and Pansy aren't even there. Think about, Sam. Two hot girls kissing and stuff." Dean tried to persuade Sam the best way he knows how, but clearly he's fighting a losing battle.
Sam looked over at the sisters awaiting his answer. They are hot. And if he closes his eyes, it could be Dean he's buried inside- he shook the thought away and asked for another Jack.
" Is gettin' drunk your way of sayin' yes, then?" Something in Dean's voice has changed, and it causes shivers to chase down Sam's spine.
"But what'll happen afterward," Sam questioned, a lonely look in his eyes, "when our friendship, or relationship or, fuck, even our brotherhood is different?" He plopped down on a nearby chair and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. Hasn't he wanted this? To see the blissed-out look of ecstasy on that face?
Dean walked over to Sam and brought his chin upward with his curled hand. "Save the chick- flick moments for later, Sam. As for now, we have two incredibly hot blondes to tea-bag." A huge smile threatens to break free at Dean's shamelessness. He gives up and heartedly laughed.
"F-fuck yeah…shit...that's it, baby." Dean sputtered as Pansy goes down on him with her mouth. He had one hand clutched in the motel sheets and the other steadfastly twined in blonde hair. On the bed next to them laid an angry and only slightly hard Sam and an upset sex partner. She lapped expertly at his deflating erection, barely getting a reaction.
"This was stupid." Sam muttered, gathering his clothes. "I'm sorry, Rosy. Wait, what was your name?"
"Rose, you flaccid freak." She also yanked her shirt and hole-ridden jeans off of the floor.
Living with Dean for twenty-odd years has paid off, and Sam could tell that his whimpering keens were a sign that he was close to completion. As Sam drug his other shoe on, Dean's body bowed and he came all over Pansy's face. Sam was caught somewhere between awe, jealously, lust and hatred. He settled on the last emotion and blamed it on his nonexistent 'hard-on' that he stomped out of the girls' hotel room. "I'll be in the car." He tried to cover the blush as he watched Dean rub a finger over the last bit of his come that splattered on his chest. Pansy looked cheated as he brought said finger to his mouth and licked it off. Sam gasped as he turned around to power-walk to the Impala.
Once in the safe haven of the old car, Sam deemed it necessary that now was a good time to take care of his new burgeoning erection. But if he wanted it to be believable to Dean that that was the reason for walking out, he just had to sit there and imagine the other looks of pleasure that whore could wretch from him. How he wished it had been his mouth that was so well used. Sam sighed as he stared down at the bulge in his blue jeans. A quick tapping roused him from his deep thoughts.
"Dude, you have the keys. And what the fuck was that about?" Dean snapped as he sat in the driver's seat. "Pansy kicked me out once she figured out it wasn't a foursome anymore." He cranked up his baby, threw it in gear, and hauled out of the parking lot like a bat out of Hell.
"Well, stop drivin' like a fuckin' idiot first." Sam ran a shaky hand through his tousled hair. "She didn't- I couldn't. It just didn't work, okay?" He huffed and looked at the world speeding by. Dean's gaze switched from the road to Sam's painful looking erection. "Why didn't you get that taken care of?"
"Why didn't you believe me when I said this would strain our relationship?" Sam countered, angry as all get-out from Dean's cocky comment.
"Aw, fuck, Sam not that poufy shit again. Spare yourself some dignity. First you can't get it up then you blame it on the girl-"
"No, man. I never blamed that girl. Get your shit straight." Sam glared at the side of his big brother's head, since Dean refused to look him in the eyes.
"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Sasquatch." Dean replied smirking and hoping humor would help the awkward silence. He squealed into the parking space closest to their room. Sam caught his arm and asked again, "Why did you think it was okay to fuck this up?" He waved between the two of them. Sam stared deeper and deeper into Dean's eyes, wishing he could read minds.
"Hell, Sammy. We've been workin' our asses off and I thought we deserved a break." He held his little brother's gaze shortly before becoming interested in the hand that was fiddling with the keys.
"I've gotta confession to make." Sam stated. "I-" He begun.
"You're madly in love with me and you want my body." Dean jokingly added, and laugh until he realized Sam wasn't laughing. The smile slid off his features and he questioned, "Sam, what is it?"
"I made up the hellcat case because I was jealous that we never get to spend time together anymore and-" Sam took a much needed breath, " I wanted to be together for Christmas and for longer than a week this time, maybe even 'til New Year's." He shifted to get out of the car, and slammed the door behind him as Dean processed this information.
"You did what? We're in the middle of friggen nowhere because you're a pussy who can't just tell me that?" Dean snatched the room key from his pocket, only to find cash and his wallet.
"I'm not a pussy! See, if I had told you that you woulda called me gay. I tell you now and you still call me gay." Sam searched his pants pockets for the key to their room. "Damned if I do and damned if I don't." He mumbled as he stuck his hand in his coat pockets. "Do you have the goddamn key?"
"No, asshole, I don't. I think I left it in the bar when I-" Dean let his sentence fall away.
"Picked up two random fuckin' girls." Sam bundled in his coat around him against the Montana weather as he climbed back in the car.
Dean scooted into the backseat to stretch out. "They were sisters." He said under his breath.
"Yah, and we're brothers. Doesn't that mean something to you? Don't my feeling count at all?"
The older brother looked scathingly at the younger one in the passenger side seat. "You went along with it remember? I told you then not to bring up chick- flick moments. That's just me, I don't like dealing with shit like this." He popped his knuckles out of a nervous habit. "And you know I don't actually think you're gay. I know you are."
Sam whipped his head around and stuttered some half- assed reply when his brother shushed him. "It's okay. I don't care really. So you're gay? You're also 6'2."
"6'4.' Sam corrected. A smile glinted its way across their faces. "And do you actually love me?" Dean whispered, almost as if it were a tangible thing that would shatter.
" 'Course I do. You're my big brother." Sam's face calculated how he could not love his brother.
"No, baby boy. I mean in love with me…" Dean's statement held so much question and power that he shivered. That and the way Dean spoke the long-time nickname, so much room for adventure and new beginnings.
"Since I was sixteen. But I just recently found out my feelings were less brotherly than they should be." Sam's voice barely came above a mutter, shocked he was saying them aloud at all, let alone to his big brother. "I've always looked up to you. You were always there, even when Dad couldn't be. I was so scared you would hate me, or be so disgusted that you would refuse to be around me." Sam wouldn't let the tears fall as they wanted to.
"I cried every night for weeks after you went to Stanford." Sam blinked rapidly against the tears at the sudden confession. "Fuck," Dean chuckled, "I loved you so much. I hated to see you leave, and grow up without me. Then you met Jess and your life was planned out. I did hate it when she died; I hated to see you in that much pain and I couldn't do shit to help." Dean paused, as if pre-phrasing his next words. "But fuck if some sadistic part of me wasn't happy that I was number one again; the most important thing in your life. I'm so sorry to feel that way." Dean choked back tears for the first time since Sammy left for college.
"And I thought I was messed up." Sam smiled at Dean, who knew not to take offence to the statement. "I don't blame you, ya know. But you were always number one in my life, whether I talked to you constantly or not."
Dean just nodded and rested his head on the seat. Staring at the ceiling, Dean said softly, "We should get some sleep, we have a case to work early tomorrow. Oh, that's right, we don't." He smiled then chuckled as he received a much-needed punch in the arm.
"G'night, Princess." Dean muttered, halfway on his way to sleep.
"G'night, De."
December 24th
When they awoke, their fingers had found their way interwoven. Sam smiled as he remembered last night, and that it wasn't a dream.
