Always

Author: Mousybrown
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Story copyright to Mousybrown; all characters are copyright to Joss
Historians note: set in Angel season five/after "Chosen"
Summary: a B/A meeting

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Buffy stood a few steps away from Angel in his office at Wolfram and Hart. Angel's workday was over and Angel had found Buffy waiting for him. Needing to talk. Just like old times

'Is they're something you want to say, Angel'

'I don't get what you mean'

'Angel. I know you. You've got the worried face'

'Buffy I…. I don't know how to tell you'

'Just start from the beginning. You'll feel better afterwards. Believe me. I've been there remember'

'Are you sure. I don't want to hurt you'

'Angel. I'm always going to love you. No matter what.'

'Three years ago Wolfram and Hart. They Brought back Darla. But she wasn't the vampire I knew her to be. She was human. She had what I always wanted. What I wanted with you. The chance to be a normal person.'

'Angel, don't think like that. You'll get your chance'

'She asked me if I loved her. She wouldn't believe me when I said no. I had to make her believe. I just had to.'

Buffy slowly edged towards Angel, putting her hand in his. He pushed it away.

'So I showed her. I slept with her to prove it. To prove I didn't love her.'

Angel turned and walked over to the window staring out over the buildings that could be found in modern day LA.

'She was dying. Wolfram and Hart didn't do a good job of bringing her back. Then to top it all Drusilla popped by. She sired Darla. Just like a good old mate would, right.'

'I tried to save Darla. When she was human I mean. I tried to save her but when Dru came back she was all for becoming a vampire again. I failed her. Just like I failed everyone who loved me.'

'Ang.'

'But that's not it.'

'Darla. She came back. Only problem was she was pregnant with my child.'

Angel turned to see Buffy had seated her-self on the nearest chair and was looking up at him with her brown eyes.

He hated her when she did that. It made the whole world fall away and it was just the two of them left. Like nothing else mattered. What was he thinking? He loved it when she did that. He loved everything about her. That's why he didn't want to hurt her.

'I don't think I should carried on.' He said wearily.

'Your son? What was his name?'

'Conner.'

'You know, I think in the end I got through to Darla. She killed herself to save her son's life but… Well after what I did to him, what was the point.'

Buffy could see a tear run down Angels Cheek.

'Wesley read a prophecy wrong and tried to save Conner. Just happened that an old enemy of mine Holtz decided to take my son into a hell dimension. And boom. Just like that. He was gone. My son. My flesh and blood. The son I never thought I could have.'

Buffy knew what this meant to Angel. He was not meant to have kids. He was a vampire. But he did and he lost the one chance he had. Why didn't he tell Buffy after this happened? It was at this point that Buffy knew she had missed so much in Angel's life. She knew how much they had grown apart and she didn't like it.

'He came back you know. He came back as teenage boy wanting to kill me. He hated me. Everything about me.'

'Holtz had turned him against me. I tried to help him to. But he was too far-gone. He tried everything to hurt me. He locked me in a box in the middle of the ocean. But that didn't work so he slept with Cordy. Still I get why he did it. But he never stopped hating me. He blamed me for him being taken to a hell dimension and he blamed me for not being normal. He said I didn't love him. But I did. I loved him far more than anybody else. Apart from you.'

'Angel. Why aren't you telling this to Conner now?'

'Because I made a deal with Wolfram and Hart. I wanted Conner to be loved and love the people he was with. I wanted him to have a proper family. The deal I made with Wolfram and Hart was for him to get that. A normal family.'

'Before I came to Sunnydale about the first I went to his home. I saw him with his new family toasting. He looked so happy the life he could never have with me.'

'Angel. Non of it was your fault. I've made some bad mistakes. Just look at the whole Riley and Spike thing. Isn't it better to know what loving a son was like than never loving a son.'

'How do you do that. Know what to say to make me feel better.'

'I know you Angel. For me just being in the same room with you makes me feel better.'

'You being here. It's helped me you know.'

They both meet in the center of the room and share a passionate kiss. Just like old times.

'I love you Buffy'

'I love you too,'

'Never leave me. Please.'

'Angel I... It's late.'

'Can't we just stay here forever. You and me.'

'Maybe when I'm done cooking. But Angel. Your body. It's waking.'

'Damn. Soon?'

'Soon.'

In LA Angel's eyes snapped open. He felt ten times better than he did before but his heart still ached and so did his belly. Man was he hungry. To everyone one else it was just another day in LA but to Angel it was hell without Buffy.

In Rome the slayer did not stir from her sleep but beside her bed lay a good as new book. Poetry. Not Buffy's normal reading but she had made an exception. The book was left open at the second page with only one word written on it. Always. That's what she felt about her lover. They will always be together in their hearts.