Chapter 1: Gray Goats and Games

Lily and Tabitha sat in their compartment, happily eating their bertie botts every flavored beans. Lily was chattering away as usual about everything from her summer in France to how much of a prat James Potter is. Suddenly shouting could be heard from the train's corridor.

"What's your name beautiful?"

Lily and Tabitha poked their heads out of the compartment, just soon enough to see the form of Sirius Black shouting to a blonde girl they have never seen before.

The girl ignored him, walked up to Lily and Tabitha, and asked to sit in their compartment. They happily obliged, any enemy of the Marauders was a friend of theirs.

The blonde girl walked into the compartment and sat down. Violet tinted eyes scanned the room before introducing herself. "Hey, I'm Becca White."

"I'm Lily Evans and this is my best friend Tabitha Marks."

"Sup?"

Lily looked at Becca and smiled. "Sorry about Sirius, he hits on anything in a skirt. Hey, I've never seen you before."

"Where are you from?" Tabitha cut in.

Becca looked around the compartment again. Lily had bright red hair to her elbows with trusting green eyes. She was very pretty.

Tabitha had dark hair pulled into a low ponytail, with sidebangs cutting over her right eye. Her piercing black eyes contrasted with her light skin. She had high cheekbones and full lips. Becca suspected she would be very beautiful if she would wear less eye makeup and smile, which Becca could guess was a very unusual occurance.

"I was expelled from Beauxbatons," Becca replied with nonchalance, "Apparently straight D's for six years is reason to expel someone." She rolled her eyes.

The door of the compartment burst open revealing James Potter, Sirius Black, and Remus Lupin, better known as the Marauders. A small Indian boy trailed in behind them.

Sirius spoke, addressing Becca. "I see you've met James's girl."

Lily looked astonished, while James smiled to himself.

"I am most definitely not Potter's girl." Lily hissed.

James ran his hand through his hair and winked. "But you know you want to be," he replied. Lily rolled her eyes.

The Indian boy stepped forward, looking passionately at Tabitha. "Tabitha, my little goat, summer has treated you well," he said with a heavy Indian accent.

"Back off, Dev."

"Ooo I like 'em feisty."

Remus stepped forward, looking annoyed. "Seriously Patil (A/N: The Patil twins dad) back off."

Sirius looked up, "Did someone call?"

Everyone rolled their eyes at this and sat down , Remus keeping a close eye on Dev.

James sat down next to Lily fake yawning and stretching while he draped his arm around her shoulder. Lily quickly picked up his arm as though it was contaminated and dropped it in his lap.

Becca and Sirius both laughed at the same time, "Oh Lily, you know you love it."

A trail of first years reached a stool, on which a mangy hat sat. An older blonde girl walked at the end of the line. She looked amused by the nervous expressions on their 11 year old faces.

Becca waited patiently as the first years were sorted. When that was finished Dumbldore stood up and announced the arrival of their new student. "We have a new student, Becca White, entering her 7th year from Beauxbatons. I trust you will give her a warm welcome."

Becca walked confidently up to the stool, while sever boys (including Sirius) wolf-whistled. The hat was placed onto her head and began to speak.

"Oh, you carry a certain confidence about you. Although very clever, intelligence does not seem to be your forte. Your cleverness would be well appreciated in Slytherin, but I think I know a better place for you." Suddenly the hat shouted to the crowd.

"GRYFINDOR!"

All the Marauders stood up and began clapping obnoxiously as Becca sat down next to Lily and Tabitha. James shouted over the roar of clapping. "EVANS! GO OUT WITH ME!" The clapping stopped, all eyes on James and Lily.

Becca and Sirius broke the silence, chanting "Kiss him! Kiss him! Kiss him!"

James leaned towards Lily, looking for a kiss. Instead, he got a slap in the face.

Lily turned to Becca and Sirius, jokingly saying, "You guys should form a team and try to make every moment between me and Potter incredibly awkward. Sirius Black and Becca White, Black and White, Gray!"

"ALPHA-TEAM GRAY, UNITE!"

"You would think that after 6 years of rejecting him, Potter would stop asking me out." Lily complained to her roommates, Becca and Tabitha.

"You guys would make a cute couple." Becca laughed, continuing to unpack.

"I agree completely," said a deep voice from the window.

Becca and Lily screamed at the sight of James, Sirius, and Remus on brooms outside their window.

Tabitha walked over to the window and opened it for them.

"That's the spirit, Tabby," said Sirius while Remus glared.

"You guys cannot be up here! You could get in so much trouble!" Lily exclaimed.

"Worrying about me again, Evans?" James smiled while the Alpha-Force Gray team wolf-whistled.

"We needed to have a party to welcome our beautiful new friend!" Sirius looked at Becca and winked.

"So, what do you guys want to do?" asked Remus.

"How about spin the bottle?" Sirius winked at Becca… again.

"Do you have an eye twitch or something?"

"How about Truth or Dare? I believe that's the safer option," commented James.

"I don't," said Lily, looking at him suspiciously.

Tabitha sighed. "Let's just start the game, okay?"

"Truth or Dare it is!" replied James.

"I brought some Veritaserum just for the occasion." James laughed, jokingly.

"I can just cast a charm to make everyone tell the truth." Replied Lily, not laughing.

"Oh, you're brilliant!" said James admiringly.

"Yeah… Whatever." Lily said exasperatedly.

They all sat in a circle, Lily sitting as far away from James as possible. Remus sat by Tabitha and Alpha-Team Gray was together.

James spoke up. "Because it was my idea, I'll go first." Lily felt her heart sink in dread. "Tabitha, truth or dare?"

He didn't choose me? But he's obsessed with me! Wait… why am I disappointed?

"Truth," Tabitha replied. No way was she doing a dare that Potter came up with.

"Tell us your deepest, darkest secret." Tabitha sighed and looked at Remus who was looking at her expectantly. Darn Lily and her fantastic charm work!

"I… might… maybe… sort of… likeRemusLupin..."

"Oh my gosh this is amazing! Remus talks about ou all the time, how smart and quiet and…"

"Sirius!" Remus yelled. "Enough of your tomfoolery!" (A/N inside joke)

Tabitha ran out of the dormitories and down the stairs in what they all thought was hysterics.

"Tabitha! Wait!" Remus called and ran after her.

"Oh young love…" Sirius sighed happily. Becca looked at Sirius. Sure, he was cute but he was a jerk.

"Shall we continue?" Becca asked after a long, awkward silence.

Sirius decided to go next (what a prat, thought Becca). "Lilykins, Truth or dare?"

"Okay, 1) Never call me Lilykins. 2) EVER. 3) Truth."

"Who was your first snog?"

James sat up, paying close attention. Lily panicked- Darn my fantastic charm skills!

"I think you already know… Sirius…?"

"Lily, no, I don't."

"Well, yes, you do… seeing as it was you."

Sirius gasped. "Me? But… you were so great… one of the best…"

"Really, Sirius? Do you now know when to shut up?" Becca hissed.

James looked from Lily to Sirius. "When the hell did this happen?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ FLASHBACK:~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was fourth year and Lily was in the boys' dormitory pulling a prank on James, who had spilled water all over her white blouse at dinner. Unexpectedly, Sirius walked out of the bathroom.

"What the hell are you doing here, Lilykins?"

"Getting Potter back for the stunt he pulled in the Great Hall." Lily broke down into tears. "Sorry, I don't know why I'm crying."

Sirius couldn't stand seeing her cry and pulled her into a hug. Lily realized Sirius wasn't being a complete jerk… he was being… then it happened.

Their lips met and Lily realized what all the girls were talking about when they said Sirius was a wonderful kisser.

This was weird… Lily was a fantastic kisser… but it was like snogging a sister… an incredibly hot sister…

This was wrong… like snogging a brother…

They broke apart. Sirius looked at Lily. "Lily, you're amazing… but you're like-"

"Yeah, it feels like I'm kissing a brother."

"Exactly."

"You have to promise not to tell ANYONE!"

"It's not like we'll ever be forced to tell anyone."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~PRESENT~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"A-W-K-W-A-R-D!" Becca chanted after a long silence. James said nothing the whole time Lily and Sirius explained.

"Wait, you put the tickle curse on my bed?" James asked.

"That's seriously what you got from that story?" Becca exclaimed.

"Yeah, it took like four weeks to get that curse off! We had to share beds! Guys do not share beds!" Sirius yelled.

Is he really not upset by the fact that I made out with his best mate? Why do I care so much?

"Ooookay, change of subject requested," Becca said. "Change of subject de-nied." Sirius said. But after seeing the look on Becca's face, said "I mean accepted!"

"Continuing with the game, Becca, truth or dare?"

"Dare of course."

"Go to the common room and flirt with Indian goat boat, and if you don't have a kiss, don't bother coming back."

Becca glared daggers at Potter, who smiled sweetly back at her.

They followed the blonde down the stairs and watched as she approached the crazy goat boy. They watched her make a face as she kissed him for one second. She walked back to the group and glared at James.

"He tasted like goat," she hissed.

"Sorry," James mouthed. "I'm not!" Sirius laughed.

They continued their game and Becca dared Sirius to go and find Remus and Tabitha. He left and came back, his eyes wide in horror.

"You don't want to know!" he whispered.

It was four o'clock in the morning, and Dev Patil was lying in the common room thinking about his beloved Tabitha. His thoughts turned to the blonde girl who had kissed him the previous evening. She sucked eggz. He hated her with every fiber of his being. How dare she steal a kiss from his lips? He must apologize to his dearest Tabitha, whose skin shone like the moonlight during the monsoon season in Mother India. He hurried off the couch to find his love. Dev Patil turned on his patented TabithaTracker and swept out of the room.

He scoured the castle until he passed the tapestry of Barnabus the Barmy teaching trolls ballet. His TabethaTracker started beeping wildly and made him pass the corridor three times. A door opened across from the tapestry and he quickly opened it. He had never been in this room before, but what he heard made him never want to come back. Tabitha… and Remus! He could hear their voices but he couldn't see them.

"See? Now, I score because I put my quaffle in your hoop!" "What's going on here? Tabitha! How could you let him put his quaffle in your hoop?" Dev walked forward until he saw them. Remus was holding a quaffle and Tabitha, a large hoop. "I know you're mad at me for kissing Becca, but I didn't mean to! She's a temptress! Can't you see? We're meant to be, like Lizzie and Gordo!"

"Lol wut?" Tabitha looked at Dev Patil oddly, for she had never seen the genius TV show that was Lizzie McGuire. "Nevermind that now! Choose! Me? Or that rampant scruffy looking little dirtbag!" "You smell like goats," Remus said, deadpan.

"Calm down Remus," Tabitha consoled, placing a hand on his shoulder. She looked at Dev Patil and sighed "I choose Remus." "Fine. Then I guess you choose DEATH. If I can't have you, nobody can!" "Dev!" Remus yelled. "Think about what you're doing!"

"I've thought about it enough!" Dev Patil whipped out his wand, which transformed into an AK-47. "This is one thing they don't teach in Defense Against the Dark Arts!" he yelled before aiming the gun at Remus and pulling the trigger. "NOOOO!" Tabitha yelled, but it was too late, his head had been blown clean off.

"And now for you, my dark maiden."

Tabitha, already covered in Remus's blood and guts, backed against the wall, eyes wide in terror.

"Where are you going, my malevolent angel? We aren't finished here!"

"Oh yes we are!" Alpha-team Grey burst through the door.

In one swift move Dev swung the AK-47 around and shot Becca in the chest.

"Becca! Are you okay? We need to get you to the hospital wing, stat!" Sirius screamed in terror.

"No! It's too late for me! I can feel life slipping away! But, Sirius, with my dying breath, I must confess, I think I love you!"

"Cha…no. Everyone knows the secret behind my bromance with Remus!" Sirius rolled his eyes and laughed while Becca drew her last gasps of air and lay still.

"Sirius! Save me!" Tabitha yelled.

"Mr. Black will not be saving anyone tonight!" Dev yelled, before shooting him in the face. Sirius crumpled to the ground and fell beside Becca's bleeding corpse, not five feet away from Remus's headless body.

"Now, my death nymph, it is time for your demise!" He drew a knife from his shoe and spoke, "I do this because I love you!"

He threw the knife and it hit her in the chest, pinning her to the wall as she bled to death, "Take that you fucking mouth breather."

"We heard gunshots! Is everyone okay?" James asked, running into the room alongside Lily.

"No! Bloody well everything is not okay!" Tabitha screamed before sagging limply against the knife.

"Dev! Did you do this?" James asked, looking at his dead friends scattered about.

"Of course! And I'm about to do the same to you!" He aimed at James's chest.

"Wait!" Lily screamed, both boys turned to look at her and realized she was lying on the floor.

"I think I'm giving birth!" And sure enough, a small baby appeared, covered in nastiness, with Lily's hair and James's eyes.

"That was possibly the most disturbing thing I've ever seen!" Dev shrieked.

"THAT, good sir, was our illegitimate love child!" James yelled back.

"Too bad he's an orphan!" Dev yelled and shot Lily and James.

"Lily! Go out with me!"

"No James! You're still a prat!"

They both fell dead.

"My work here is done." Dev smirked, before turning into Lord Voldemort and jumping into the wilderness.

Minutes later, over the gore of Hogwarts Castle, Dumbledore flew, wings spread wide, carrying the newborn Jerry Potter to his American, lesser known aunt, Ragweed Evans. A sudden gust of wind and Jerry was thrown out of Dumbledore's arms, onto the spike on the astronomy tower.

"I guess this means Neville is the chosen one." Dumbledore sighed, flying into the sunrise.

Fin